If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(3 News New Zealand)   Doomsday Clock moved a minute closer to midnight, proving even atomic scientists aren't immune to 2012 hysteria   (3news.co.nz) divider line 97
    More: Interesting, Doomsday Clock, atomic nuclei, ocean acidification, bulletins, International Energy Agency, disasters, Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty, rising sea levels  
•       •       •

10292 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jan 2012 at 5:05 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



97 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-01-10 04:50:46 PM
i.imgur.com

"TO KILL THE UNBOOOORN IN THE WOOOOOOOOOMB!"


/Let's get this one started off right
 
2012-01-10 05:08:47 PM
Wasn't there some shiatty 80s comic that used that thing at a plot device? It rings a bell but I can't place it
 
2012-01-10 05:11:02 PM

DonkeyDixon: Wasn't there some shiatty 80s comic that used that thing at a plot device? It rings a bell but I can't place it


It was Garfield, right?
 
2012-01-10 05:11:16 PM
I had no idea these cold war relics were still around.
 
2012-01-10 05:11:24 PM
done in one TYVM
 
2012-01-10 05:18:14 PM
fark U SHIMA!!!
 
2012-01-10 05:18:18 PM
One of the earliest attempts to use "science" from the Department of Yanking Numbers Out of One's Arse to create panic.

/ Good times, good times.
 
2012-01-10 05:21:12 PM
I love how we're still lulled into a false sense of complacency regarding a possible nuclear catastrophe...

B-but there's no more COLD WAR...HOW could it happen?
 
2012-01-10 05:21:15 PM

Somacandra: [i.imgur.com image 350x350]

"TO KILL THE UNBOOOORN IN THE WOOOOOOOOOMB!"

/Let's get this one started off right


I see my work here is done.
 
2012-01-10 05:22:45 PM
At this point, nuclear weapons just seem like a giant show of blunt power with no clear purpose other than keeping others from pushing you around. We've got technology that allows for more pinpoint and surgical fights, so do we really need the stupidly overkill bombs that come with a nice long time of making an area useless for human use now? You've already got enough conventional weapons to blow the shiat out of anything that needs overwhelming force to destroy. Why are people even trying to make nukes anymore, besides international dick waving and maybe a bit of lunacy?
 
2012-01-10 05:24:12 PM

One Bad Apple: I had no idea these cold war relics were still around.


When the Cold War ended, they added global warming and some other stuff to their criteria. There's always something -- nuclear war, global warming, the Macarena, gay marriage, Four Loko -- which is going to doom us all, so there will always be something they can add in an attempt to remain relevant.
 
2012-01-10 05:25:38 PM
I think I know where this is going...

media.comicvine.com
 
2012-01-10 05:26:30 PM
Really? All the sabre rattling going on in the ME and Asia, and you guys wonder how this is relevant to the "cold" war?

Good perspective.
 
2012-01-10 05:26:31 PM
The Doomsday Clock, which represents just how close the world is to a global catastrophe, has been moved closer to midnight - and no, it's not because of an apocalyptic Mayan prophecy.

Sooo....you're not saying it's because of a Mayan prophecy, but it was because of a Mayan prophecy?
 
2012-01-10 05:26:43 PM
So, is it possible for the clock to move past midnight? Post-apocalyptically speaking? Or is it like Zeno's Paradox?

It sure would be fun to hack, especially if they were having some pointy-head benefit event in the same room as the clock at the time.

"My god, Mildred, look! It's moving! It's slowly getting closer to midnight!"

"Oh...now it's backing off. Whew! Oh hey, now it's only 10:15! We can relax!"

"IT JUST BLEW PAST MIDNIGHT! EVERYBODY PANIC!!!1!! WATCH OUT FOR ZOMBIES!"
 
2012-01-10 05:26:51 PM
This thing has been set to 11:43 pm or later since it was created in 1947. Yes, we've been on the brink of total annihilation for 65 years.

Maybe, just maybe, the people in charge of this thing are just a tad hysterical.
 
2012-01-10 05:26:59 PM
Fukushima? I hope they meant Japan getting rid of their nuclear reactors and going back to fossil fuels with that one rather than the actual event. At the moment, nuclear fission is the only viable stepping stone (for the grid, at least) between fossil fuels and truly renewable energy.

And I wonder how many minutes that clock will move up after the upcoming election. It's looking like doomsday regardless of who wins.
 
2012-01-10 05:28:47 PM
It's a "clock" that serves exactly zero of the functionality of a clock. It's the magic of science!
 
2012-01-10 05:29:48 PM

Andulamb: This thing has been set to 11:43 pm or later since it was created in 1947. Yes, we've been on the brink of total annihilation for 65 years.

Maybe, just maybe, the people in charge of this thing are just a tad hysterical.


Yeah. Maybe in the mid-80s or earlier, it might have been a decent harbinger of doom. But really, they've been crying wolf for so long that nobody really cares. It could be 8PM for all we care.

Until there's hundreds of missiles 4 minutes from impact, don't bother us with useless information.
 
2012-01-10 05:30:32 PM
I keep telling you over and over and over again my friend.
I don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.
 
2012-01-10 05:30:34 PM

Pichu0102: At this point, nuclear weapons just seem like a giant show of blunt power with no clear purpose other than keeping others from pushing you around. We've got technology that allows for more pinpoint and surgical fights, so do we really need the stupidly overkill bombs that come with a nice long time of making an area useless for human use now? You've already got enough conventional weapons to blow the shiat out of anything that needs overwhelming force to destroy. Why are people even trying to make nukes anymore, besides international dick waving and maybe a bit of lunacy?


Mostly the international dick waving. Pakistan gets a lot more attention and 'respect' while they hold on to their ~100 bombs.
 
2012-01-10 05:32:01 PM
Currently reading the old 80s novel Swan Song, so I'm getting a kick out of this.
 
2012-01-10 05:33:28 PM
The eve of destruction?
 
2012-01-10 05:38:56 PM
The Doomsday Clock was started in 1947 at seven minutes to midnight. The closest it ever came to midnight was in 1953 after the US and the Soviet Union both tested nuclear weapons within months of one another.

The furthest it has been from midnight was in 1991, following the fall of the Berlin Wall, the signing of the START treaty and the end of the Cold War.


Yes. and let's provide no context whatsoever by saying what the settings were at those times (2 and 17 minutes, respectively).
 
2012-01-10 05:40:24 PM

DonkeyDixon: Wasn't there some shiatty 80s comic that used that thing at a plot device? It rings a bell but I can't place it


a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2012-01-10 05:41:12 PM
So if they finally move it to zero, are we REQUIRED to have a nuclear war?
 
2012-01-10 05:43:23 PM
It's your one way ticket to midnight
Call it Heavy Metal
Higher than high, feelin' just right
Call it Heavy Metal
Desperation on a red line
Call it Heavy Metal noise
 
2012-01-10 05:43:50 PM

Oznog: So if they finally move it to zero, are we REQUIRED to have a nuclear war?


If nobody shows up it's going to be awkward!
 
2012-01-10 05:45:48 PM
Oh and...

"Failure to act on the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty by leaders in the United States, China, Iran, India, Pakistan, Egypt, Israel, and North Korea and on a treaty to cut off production of nuclear weapons

In other words the United States and Israel aren't stupid enough to think any of the rest of those people would actually stop development of nuclear weapons so for all our sake they have continued to develop them as well.
 
2012-01-10 05:49:32 PM
Fark the Doomsday Clock.

What's the Groundhogsday Clock say?

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-01-10 05:50:24 PM

Andulamb: This thing has been set to 11:43 pm or later since it was created in 1947. Yes, we've been on the brink of total annihilation for 65 years.

Maybe, just maybe, the people in charge of this thing are just a tad hysterical.


Yup... someone needs to give them "SYMBOLISM FOR DUMMIES" or something.
 
2012-01-10 05:50:35 PM
even Russia today had an official speaking out about concern over Iran's enrichment activities... Sure. It's all hype. Nothing to worry about. Just 2012 Art Bell stuff.
 
2012-01-10 05:50:41 PM
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me.
 
2012-01-10 05:50:45 PM

CowboyNinjaD: I think I know where this is going...

[media.comicvine.com image 400x419]


But who's watching the custodians?
 
2012-01-10 05:52:45 PM

DonkeyDixon: Wasn't there some shiatty 80s comic that used that thing at a plot device? It rings a bell but I can't place it


9.5/10
 
2012-01-10 05:54:20 PM

MBooda: Fark the Doomsday Clock.

What's the Groundhogsday Clock say?

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 640x357]


Wasn't it always 6:01?
 
2012-01-10 05:54:50 PM
I would only agree that a symbolic clock is as nourishing to the intellect as photograph of oxygen to a drowning man.
 
2012-01-10 05:55:31 PM
Via wiki, the farthest from 'midnight' the clock has been is 17 minutes. If the clock has but one big hand that's only 28% of it's total range. If it has both hands that becomes a little over 2%. What kind of scientist creates a specific, specialized measurement tool, for only one purpose, with such an exaggerated range, most of which they'll never use? A crappy scientist. This is nothing more than attention whoring and sermonizing, and putting a lab coat on it is misleading and dishonest.

Leave the calculations and measurement of future events to the psychohistorians.

/second link is for disambiguation
 
2012-01-10 05:55:35 PM

omahatattoo: DonkeyDixon: Wasn't there some shiatty 80s comic that used that thing at a plot device? It rings a bell but I can't place it

It was Garfield, right?


"I hate Doomsdays."
 
2012-01-10 05:56:02 PM
Doomsday Device?
www.accelerator3359.com
 
2012-01-10 05:58:09 PM

Pichu0102: At this point, nuclear weapons just seem like a giant show of blunt power with no clear purpose other than keeping others from pushing you around. We've got technology that allows for more pinpoint and surgical fights, so do we really need the stupidly overkill bombs that come with a nice long time of making an area useless for human use now? You've already got enough conventional weapons to blow the shiat out of anything that needs overwhelming force to destroy. Why are people even trying to make nukes anymore, besides international dick waving and maybe a bit of lunacy?


Well, there's tactical nukes. That's the term you're looking for. They're really small compared to the big strategic level weapons. A strategic weapon will take out a large city, a tactical weapon will take out a few blocks. However, due to the stigma of using nukes, we even prefer to use cruise missiles to tactical nukes. Basically, there's no REAL offensive use for nuclear weapons at the moment. They're inherently defensive because no one wants to attack countries that have an active and proven nuclear arsenal, and no one with an active and proven nuclear arsenal wants to use a nuke because pretty much everyone would hate them after that.

As an analogy, it would be like if everyone on your block had guns and were testing them in their back yard. You don't want to shoot up someone's house because then everyone else on the block would hate you, and there's way more of them than you. The only thing you have to worry about is the extremist religious nuts down the road that are saying the gays/Jews/other people they don't agree with deserve nothing but to die and burn in Hell/purgatory/SeaOrg.
 
2012-01-10 05:59:46 PM
It's Christmas at Ground Zero,
There's music in the air!
The sleighbells are ringin' and the caroler's are singin'
While the air raid sirens blair

It's Christmas at Ground Zero,
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test.

Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin'
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last-minute shoppin'
It's time to face your final destiny!

4.bp.blogspot.com

/ ... there, that's better.
 
2012-01-10 06:01:13 PM

dericwater: Andulamb: This thing has been set to 11:43 pm or later since it was created in 1947. Yes, we've been on the brink of total annihilation for 65 years.

Maybe, just maybe, the people in charge of this thing are just a tad hysterical.

Yeah. Maybe in the mid-80s or earlier, it might have been a decent harbinger of doom. But really, they've been crying wolf for so long that nobody really cares. It could be 8PM for all we care.

Until there's hundreds of missiles 4 minutes from impact, don't bother us with useless information.


Well the fact of the matter is there are hundreds of missiles from 15 minutes to an hour from impact that could be launched at any moment. Nothing much has changed from the end of the cold war betweeen Russia and the US regarding the strategic arsenals. Nuclear war is stil a use it or lose it proposition so if there is any detection of launch (whether actual or mistake) the war plans suggest you launch everything for fear of losing the capability. It is still a threat to the world, even if it is out of sight out of mind. Really the US/Russia arsenals worry me less than Pakistan/India getting into another war and it going nuclear or some of Pakistans arsenal being driven around the country going missing and ending up in a major world city.
 
2012-01-10 06:02:28 PM
"Failure to act on the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty by leaders in the United States, China, Iran, India, Pakistan, Egypt, Israel, and North Korea and on a treaty to cut off production of nuclear weapons material continues to leave the world at risk from continued development of nuclear weapons,"

Holy crap! Losing nukes would be the biggest threat to world peace in the last 100 years! Trust me, keep those suckers around. Nothing stops WWIII more surely than the knowledge that the people who start the war will die along with everyone else. Otherwise it's back to empire building and endless conventional wars for the profit of a few fatcats.
 
2012-01-10 06:06:05 PM
Was it because someone blew up the Kremlin?

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-01-10 06:07:14 PM

Malcolm_Sex: Doomsday Device?
[www.accelerator3359.com image 397x350]


DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT? THERE WAS! BUT NOT ANY MORE!
palaceofwisdom.net
i812.photobucket.com
 
2012-01-10 06:12:47 PM
i261.photobucket.com
 
2012-01-10 06:16:31 PM

hitlersbrain: "Failure to act on the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty by leaders in the United States, China, Iran, India, Pakistan, Egypt, Israel, and North Korea and on a treaty to cut off production of nuclear weapons material continues to leave the world at risk from continued development of nuclear weapons,"

Holy crap! Losing nukes would be the biggest threat to world peace in the last 100 years! Trust me, keep those suckers around. Nothing stops WWIII more surely than the knowledge that the people who start the war will die along with everyone else. Otherwise it's back to empire building and endless conventional wars for the profit of a few fatcats.


The gist of it is that eventually, India and Pakistan are going to fight. They've been on each other's nerves for so long that they've gotten comfortable with it. Eventually, one of them is going to do something that the other one finds REALLY offensive and it'll be on. It'll start with a limited conventional engagement at the borders. I suspect that whoever farks up really bad and gets a significant number of troops on their own soil will be the first to use nukes. Then the other side will feel that they're owed a free shot, and it'll just escalate from there.

The threat of a lost nuke isn't that concerning to me because you don't just lose nukes. That would be like a thug in the middle of the ghetto finally realizing his dream of owning a gun, and then simply leaving it on the bus.
 
2012-01-10 06:22:49 PM

Andulamb: This thing has been set to 11:43 pm or later since it was created in 1947. Yes, we've been on the brink of total annihilation for 65 years.

Maybe, just maybe, the people in charge of this thing are just a tad hysterical.


I don't know, we've sure acted like we want to kill ourselves as a species since forever. I'm more impressed we survived.

/Though apparently they can translate 'seven minutes' as 'multiple hours', we seem to be okay when we're pretty near killing each other.
 
2012-01-10 06:25:36 PM

Hrist: Pichu0102: At this point, nuclear weapons just seem like a giant show of blunt power with no clear purpose other than keeping others from pushing you around. We've got technology that allows for more pinpoint and surgical fights, so do we really need the stupidly overkill bombs that come with a nice long time of making an area useless for human use now? You've already got enough conventional weapons to blow the shiat out of anything that needs overwhelming force to destroy. Why are people even trying to make nukes anymore, besides international dick waving and maybe a bit of lunacy?

Well, there's tactical nukes. That's the term you're looking for. They're really small compared to the big strategic level weapons. A strategic weapon will take out a large city, a tactical weapon will take out a few blocks. However, due to the stigma of using nukes, we even prefer to use cruise missiles to tactical nukes. Basically, there's no REAL offensive use for nuclear weapons at the moment. They're inherently defensive because no one wants to attack countries that have an active and proven nuclear arsenal, and no one with an active and proven nuclear arsenal wants to use a nuke because pretty much everyone would hate them after that.

As an analogy, it would be like if everyone on your block had guns and were testing them in their back yard. You don't want to shoot up someone's house because then everyone else on the block would hate you, and there's way more of them than you. The only thing you have to worry about is the extremist religious nuts down the road that are saying the gays/Jews/other people they don't agree with deserve nothing but to die and burn in Hell/purgatory/SeaOrg.


If no one wants to use nukes, then they're also useless in a defense capacity. If someone nukes another country, the other side probably won't want to return the favor because only few want to be the one to press the "kill and poison millions or billions" button, even if the same was done to them. So nukes become sort of a pointless thing to even own. I'd like to say the solution is dismantle all nukes, but I'm not so stupid to think that would ever happen. Can't put that genie back in the bottle. Dismantling as many as possible while possibly saving a few (less than 10) that are less catastrophic than the others would be a good idea, but that's not happening either as much as I'd like.
So what is the solution? Leaving nukes sitting around, even guarded, is asking for something to go horribly wrong, get some stolen by god knows who, etc. How the hell do you fix this?
 
Displayed 50 of 97 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report