FARK.com: (6870319) Have four or more drinks 4 times a month? Congratulations, you're part of the epidemic of American binge drinkers that a new CDC study has just discovered. EVERYBODY *hic* PANIC

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		Have four or more drinks 4 times a month? Congratulations, you're part of the epidemic of American binge drinkers that a new CDC study has just discovered. EVERYBODY hic PANIC (foxnews.com)		286
		More: Scary, Americans, threats, Dr. Thomas Frieden, effects of alcohol, Plain and Simple, epidemics, dangerous goods, American binge

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286 Comments (+0 »)

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adiabat

2012-01-10 02:10:49 PM

4 or more drinks 4 times a month? I call that sobriety.

James!

2012-01-10 02:11:58 PM

I'd have gone with "EVERYBODY PAN*hic*".

MaudlinMutantMollusk

2012-01-10 02:13:57 PM

adiabat: 4 or more drinks 4 times a month? I call that sobriety.

Yeah, that's a pretty tame month, for sure

/are you sure they didn't mean 4 times a week?

Gecko Gingrich

2012-01-10 02:14:10 PM

So, during football season, I'm not allowed to have a beer every two hours from the start of the early game to the end of the late game on Sunday?

vernonFL

2012-01-10 02:14:27 PM

I have 4 or more drinks four times a week.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

2012-01-10 02:17:05 PM

I have 4 or more drinks four times a day.

Relatively Obscure

2012-01-10 02:18:23 PM

i had 4or mroe drinksa while typing this psot.

Gecko Gingrich

2012-01-10 02:19:38 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I have 4 or more drinks four times a day.

I drink 4 drinks before I drink 4 drinks, and then I drink 4 more.

vernonFL

2012-01-10 02:20:32 PM

When people don't know how to handle their depression or anxiety, they think that alcohol could be the answer in easing their symptoms

1.bp.blogspot.com

Rev.K

2012-01-10 02:22:33 PM

I drink 4 drinks at a time, 4 times a day.

vernonFL

2012-01-10 02:22:54 PM

Relatively Obscure

2012-01-10 02:24:25 PM

vernonFL: www.profilebrand.com

Those things are farking disgusting.

vernonFL

2012-01-10 02:28:03 PM

Relatively Obscure: Those things are farking disgusting.

After the fourth one they get better.

Relatively Obscure

2012-01-10 02:34:45 PM

vernonFL: Relatively Obscure: Those things are farking disgusting.

After the fourth one they get better.

Heh, that's possible. I can't get past one to find out. So I start with 'better' and by the fourth I find it's working so well that I don't feel the need to change it up.

markie_farkie

2012-01-10 02:56:39 PM

Isn't that called "breakfast" in these parts?

miss diminutive

2012-01-10 03:03:34 PM

Overconsumption of alcohol is the third leading preventable cause of death, with more than 80,000 fatalities in the United States each year.

Ok, but how many lives are created each year through drunken hookups, especially those involving equal parts shame and partial memory loss?

Alcohol may very well be the most important factor in keeping birth rates near replacement levels.

ricewater_stool

2012-01-10 03:28:46 PM

I probably average 3 drinks per evening. And I usually go to bed without a buzz.

/I just like alcohol

GAT_00

2012-01-10 03:29:36 PM

I swear sometimes I'm the only person on this site that isn't an alcoholic.

Sapper_Topo

2012-01-10 03:29:41 PM

WHOA dont let my wife see this or Im headed to treatment for sure!

violentsalvation

2012-01-10 03:37:18 PM

GAT_00: I swear sometimes I'm the only person on this site that isn't an alcoholic.

Drink responsibly, start today.

TheDumbBlonde

2012-01-10 03:39:51 PM

GAT_00: I swear sometimes I'm the only person on this site that isn't an alcoholic.

That explains a great deal.

Shostie

2012-01-10 03:50:58 PM

Gecko Gingrich: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I have 4 or more drinks four times a day.

I drink 4 drinks before I drink 4 drinks, and then I drink 4 more.

Then drink four drinks, and four drinks more,
For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!
Then drink four drinks, and four drinks more,
For the Captain of the Pinafore!

ArkAngel

2012-01-10 03:54:01 PM

GAT_00: I swear sometimes I'm the only person on this site that isn't an alcoholic.

Spend a month in Wisconsin. We'll cure that

Mugato

2012-01-10 03:59:18 PM

adiabat: 4 or more drinks 4 times a month? I call that sobriety.

I call that staving off the DTs. I'm saving the medical community money by not having seizures.

veedeevadeevoodee

2012-01-10 04:07:43 PM

Have four or more drinks 4 times a month?

graphics8.nytimes.com

/ all of Britian laughs at teh silliness

Rapmaster2000

2012-01-10 04:14:05 PM

"It is alarming to me that Americans are not being smart in knowing how to respect the effects of alcohol," Alvarez said, "it's putting their health in jeopardy."

I think I speak for everyone with my rebuttal. Ahem... "NERDS GTFO!"

RexTalionis

2012-01-10 04:15:00 PM

I've devised a machine that injects me with a stream of alcohol mixed with blood plasma continuously, so I completely sidestep the classification of binge drinkers.

Rapmaster2000

2012-01-10 04:15:31 PM

According to the CDC, binge drinkers are at a higher risk for many health and social problems, including car accidents, violence, liver disease, certain cancers, heart disease, sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancies.

The marketing for almost every product implies that the use of their product will get you laid. Only alcohol truly delivers on this claim.

MaudlinMutantMollusk

2012-01-10 04:20:31 PM

binge [binj] noun 1. a period or bout, usually brief, of excessive indulgence, as in eating, drinking alcoholic beverages, etc.; spree.

At what point does it cease to be a binge and become a common activity?

/4 times a week seems pretty common

serpent_sky

2012-01-10 04:25:55 PM

That's why I bought one of those glasses that holds a whole wine bottle. Now I'm just having 1-2 drinks a day. See? No problems here!

TommyymmoT

2012-01-10 04:29:05 PM

WHY I DRINK

25.media.tumblr.com

basemetal

2012-01-10 04:31:35 PM

All of TF gasps!

/then has another drink.

RoyBatty

2012-01-10 04:35:22 PM

James!: I'd have gone with "EVERYBODY PAN*hic*".

It might be fun to have a FARK collaboration forum in which headlines can be worked and reworked to best express their inner FARKiness.

markie_farkie

2012-01-10 04:35:24 PM

veedeevadeevoodee: all of Britian laughs at teh silliness

No kidding.. First time to London in 2006, got on the Tube, and it reeked like everyone on board had put away a fifth of Scotch at lunchtime!

RexTalionis

2012-01-10 04:35:56 PM

TommyymmoT: WHY I DRINK

[25.media.tumblr.com image 300x320]

Man, women were real ugly back then. Also, is that Carrie Nation doing the hand gesture?

GAT_00

2012-01-10 04:36:29 PM

violentsalvation: GAT_00: I swear sometimes I'm the only person on this site that isn't an alcoholic.

Drink responsibly, start today.

I drink 4 or more drinks maybe 3 times a month, and that's a maybe.

RexTalionis

2012-01-10 04:40:06 PM

GAT_00: violentsalvation: GAT_00: I swear sometimes I'm the only person on this site that isn't an alcoholic.

Drink responsibly, start today.

I drink 4 or more drinks maybe 3 times a month, and that's a maybe.

I drink 1-2 drinks once or twice a week, if I'm in the drinking mood. Otherwise, I drink no more than 2 drinks once a month.

serpent_sky

2012-01-10 04:40:10 PM

TommyymmoT: WHY I DRINK

25.media.tumblr.com

Is that a threat or a promise?

dopeydwarf

2012-01-10 04:40:31 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: adiabat: 4 or more drinks 4 times a month? I call that sobriety.

Yeah, that's a pretty tame month, for sure

/are you sure they didn't mean 4 times a week?

I was thinking 4 or more times a day, but whatever.

dopeydwarf

2012-01-10 04:42:15 PM

serpent_sky: TommyymmoT: WHY I DRINK

25.media.tumblr.com

Is that a threat or a promise?

Hopefully a solemn oath.

GAT_00

2012-01-10 04:46:52 PM

RexTalionis: GAT_00: violentsalvation: GAT_00: I swear sometimes I'm the only person on this site that isn't an alcoholic.

Drink responsibly, start today.

I drink 4 or more drinks maybe 3 times a month, and that's a maybe.

I drink 1-2 drinks once or twice a week, if I'm in the drinking mood. Otherwise, I drink no more than 2 drinks once a month.

1-2 once or twice a week about matches me too.

Rapmaster2000

2012-01-10 04:47:26 PM

I have about four drinks pretty much every day. I don't see or feel the problem.

BKITU

2012-01-10 04:54:38 PM

On top of major health issues, the economic toll of binge drinking is on the rise, costing more than $223.5 billion in 2006.

I want to know how many drinks the author had before pulling that unsourced bullshiat number out of her ass.

A Fark Handle

2012-01-10 05:04:01 PM

four drinks, four times a month? so 16 drinks? sheeeet, that's called tuesday...

downstairs

2012-01-10 05:08:31 PM

Rapmaster2000: I have about four drinks pretty much every day. I don't see or feel the problem.

Yup, same here. Never hung over, never missed work, never done something stupid beyond making a fool of myself at times- but all in good fun.

Not closeted or embarassed about it. If I'm visiting the parents or in-laws, I call ahead and make sure they're stocked with vodka and ginger ale.

Darth_Lukecash

2012-01-10 05:25:34 PM

Rapmaster2000: According to the CDC, binge drinkers are at a higher risk for many health and social problems, including car accidents, violence, liver disease, certain cancers, heart disease, sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancies.

The marketing for almost every product implies that the use of their product will get you laid. Only alcohol truly delivers on this claim.

It's a freaking lie. The only difference In inhibition level I've seen is instead of saying "let's be freinds", they just ship to the more honest point and laugh in my face.

Darth_Lukecash

2012-01-10 05:27:30 PM

downstairs: Rapmaster2000: I have about four drinks pretty much every day. I don't see or feel the problem.

Yup, same here. Never hung over, never missed work, never done something stupid beyond making a fool of myself at times- but all in good fun.

Not closeted or embarassed about it. If I'm visiting the parents or in-laws, I call ahead and make sure they're stocked with vodka and ginger ale.

If you are serious- you are addicted to alcohol, my freind.

downstairs

2012-01-10 05:44:44 PM

Darth_Lukecash: downstairs: Rapmaster2000: I have about four drinks pretty much every day. I don't see or feel the problem.

Yup, same here. Never hung over, never missed work, never done something stupid beyond making a fool of myself at times- but all in good fun.

Not closeted or embarassed about it. If I'm visiting the parents or in-laws, I call ahead and make sure they're stocked with vodka and ginger ale.

If you are serious- you are addicted to alcohol, my freind.

Sure, use whatever term you want. I like the stuff, and it hasn't hurt me yet.

violentsalvation

2012-01-10 05:45:11 PM

GAT_00: RexTalionis: GAT_00: violentsalvation: GAT_00: I swear sometimes I'm the only person on this site that isn't an alcoholic.

Drink responsibly, start today.

I drink 4 or more drinks maybe 3 times a month, and that's a maybe.

I drink 1-2 drinks once or twice a week, if I'm in the drinking mood. Otherwise, I drink no more than 2 drinks once a month.

1-2 once or twice a week about matches me too.

I have at least 3 on weeknights and closer to 6 on the weekends, almost every single day.

paulseta

2012-01-10 05:46:32 PM

We Australians laugh heartily at this, and then down another bottle.

4 or more drinks 4 times a month? 4 or more drinks is a warm-up for *lunch* here.

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