HELLO? IS ANYONE IN THIS THREAD? I'M TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK! SOMEBODY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME! IS THERE SOMEBODY THERE? ANYBODY!

OH, GOD, NOBODY IS HERE. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE? THIS IS SO PAINFUL, BEING TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK!

OH, MY ONLY OPTION IN THIS DIRE CIRCUMSTANCE IS TO REFLECT ON MY LIFE WHILE I SLOWLY WASTE AWAY. AND WHAT AN ADVENTUROUS LIFE I HAD, BEFORE GETTING TRAPPED UNDER THIS ROCK. I SEXUALLY ASSAULTED SO MANY WOMEN!

HELLO? IS THAT SOMEONE WHO HAS COME TO RESCUE ME FROM BEING TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK? NO, I GUESS NOT. THOUGHT I HEARD SOMEONE. BOY, ALL OF THESE HOURS OF BEING TRAPPED UNDER THIS ROCK HAS REALLY MADE ME A LITTLE PUNCHY.

NOW, IF I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SCIENCE, AND I DON'T, THE ISOLATION THAT COMES FROM GETTING TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK WILL KILL ME BEFORE THIRST AND HUNGER WILL KILL ME, SO I BETTER KEEP MYSELF ENTERTAINED
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WHEN I'M A WALKING, I STRUT MY STUFF, BECAUSE I'M SO STRUNG OUT...SOMETHING SOMETHING
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LET ME GO ONNNNnnNNNN...LIKE A BLISTER IN THE SUN!

GOD, ARE YOU THERE? IT'S ME, JONATHAN HOHENSEE. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY I DID WHATEVER I DID TO GET TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK. BY THE WAY, WHEN I WAS TELLING CHICKS THAT "I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD, BUT I AM VERY SPIRITUAL," I WAS JUST farkING AROUND, YOU KNOW THAT. YOU'RE TOTALLY MY DUDE, GOD. ME AND YOU, WE'RE TIGHT LIKE...WELL, I WAS GOING TO CROSS MY FINGERS TO SHOW YOU HOW TIGHT WE ARE, BUT MY HAND IS TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK.

OK, SO ANYONE UP THERE, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, I'M GOING TO BE STARTING A VIDEO JOURNAL NOW, CHRONICLING MY ORDEAL OF GETTING TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK. DON'T INTERRUPT ME, SINCE I'M GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT VERY PRIVATE STUFF.

DEAR ILLEGITIMATE BASTARD CHILD, BY THE TIME YOU WATCH THIS, I WILL ALREADY OF DIED. I AM YOUR REAL FATHER AND I AM CURRENTLY TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK. THIS MAKES ME SO MUCH COOLER THAN YOUR PIECE OF SH*T ADOPTIVE FATHER, WHO IS A PUSSY. ANYWAYS, I HAVE TO GO NOW...I LOVE YOU AND HELP ME, I AM TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK.

aaaaand scene!


Thank you very much, no, no, you all are too much. As many of you know, that was a scene from my one act play "HELP ME I AM TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK." It tells the incredible story of a man who was, sadly trapped under a rock. Now, a lot of people ask me how I was brave enough to put myself into such a dire, multi-dimensional character and I tell them this; can do so because I am better than most people.

Now, I will open up the floor to a Q & A session from the audience.

Hi, yes, I'm Jeff Newell from Lancaster, Minnesota, and I was wondering what your challenges where in directing a show like HELP ME I AM TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK. I ask because I, myself am a play write, and I have recently wrote a play about the struggles of black people in America in which a small Georgia town has to deal with the struggles of living under the shadows of lynching...it is a very good play, and I could give it to you after the show if you want, but my question is this...what mind frame do you get yourself in when making such a dynamic, multi-dimensional character?

Thank you, Jeff Newell, that is a very good question. I would say that the most important thing for any actor to do when crafting a character is focus, because when you have focus it enables you to tap into the infinite centers of our creativeness...and from there, anything is possible!

...And what about my play. Would you be interested in receiving it after the show? We can become friends too, maybe.

No, I'm sorry, I don't take unsolicited manuscripts. That is my policy. Next question!

Hi, yes, my name is David Nedle from Wellesville, New York. Your play, HELP ME, I AM TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK clearly has a narrative voice and a dedication to social justice. Do you think it is ethical for you to expose to your audience aspects of your individual identity when, in the 21st Century paradigm, the only proper way to make art is to embody an aesthetic, formalist mindset that supersedes the demand of the ego? I will answer your question for you...no, it is not.

Thank you David Ned. Hmmm. That was a very good question. You are all asking really good questions tonight, it's great to hear from audiences like this. It really keeps me sharp. Anyways, David, I would say that I agree with you a lot - my play failed on a lot of base, ethical terms...but I don't think it was because I cared too much, but because I didn't care enough

*wild applause from audience*

Thank you very much everybody, but I am sorry to say but we have run out of time, so we can't answer any more questions...however I urge all of you to be on a look out for my next big play, HELP ME, I AM ALSO TRAPPED UNDER A ROCK.


GOOD NIGHT!