Boa constrictors don't have rattles, Subby.

"Woman comes face-to-face with six-foot boa constrictor, feels tightening in chest and gets short of breath"

I got a boa constrictor for her. It's pink.

Hey baby that's my arm.

This shiat passes for news?
"Woman sees harmless snake. No one gives a fark."

I'm not going to use either one of my new buttons for that stupid headline

'"He wasn't aggressive at all. My face was this far from his face," Smith said.' typed the reporter, while failing to mention how far the woman was indicating.

/Once, my face was this far from Mikhail Gorbachev's face.

BurnShrike: Boa constrictors don't have rattles, Subby.

"Woman comes face-to-face with six-foot boa constrictor, feels tightening in chest and gets short of breath"

Not even as a baby?

A six foot boa would be struggling to constrict almost any adult's chest.

BurnShrike: Boa constrictors don't have rattles, Subby.

"Woman comes face-to-face with six-foot boa constrictor, feels tightening in chest and gets short of breath"

But is it poisonous!!!

cbackous: way to squeeze all the fun out of a good article subby.

Yeah! I hope subby gets the herp for that!

ErgosumDominati: But is it poisonous!!!

The snake, the rattle, or the chest?

Was she wearing garters? That was corny..

offacue: Was she wearing garters? That was corny..

Keep milking it, you're having a ball. You're the king of corny comedy.

Oh gee, it up to her knee.
Oh my, it's up to her thigh.

Came to kick subby, no further comment necessary.

A homeowner in Sharpes said she was stunned to find a six-foot-long red-tailed boa constrictor staring her down in her own back yard.

"I was stunned to find a six-foot-long red-tailed boa constrictor staring me down in my own back yard."

BurnShrike: Boa constrictors don't have rattles, Subby.

"Woman comes face-to-face with six-foot boa constrictor, feels tightening in chest and gets short of breath"

clearly you have to go for the sexual innuendo.

"Woman comes face to face with six foot boa, decides to leave husband"

altinos: ErgosumDominati: But is it poisonous!!!

The snake, the rattle, or the chest?

The rattle in the boa's chest, I assume it was located near the snake's fangs of course.

/hidden by the jacobson's organ

TrainingWheelsNeeded: clearly you have to go for the sexual innuendo.

In lieu of the innuendo, in the end know my intent though.

ErgosumDominati: But is it poisonous!!!

Nope, and not venomous either. All the farking deadly crocs and venomous snakes in , and this harmless petting-zoo animal is news? Hell, I encounter rattlesnakes at least once a month hiking with my dog in SoCal.

Bucky Katt
Jack Black 62: She called 911? Really?

boas are an invasive species and should be rounded up.

Then call animal control. It sure as fark isn't an emergency. A six foot boa isn't going to hurt anyone.

Even if it had been a poisonous snake, it isn't a farking emergency. Just leave it the fark alone. It's afraid of people. Don't corner the bugger. Snakes don't lie around waiting for the perfect moment to slaughter human beings.

Jack Black 62: Bucky Katt: Jack Black 62: She called 911? Really?

boas are an invasive species and should be rounded up.

I would have made a belt or a nice wallet, not call the jack boots.

Florida is *STUPID* in how it handles invasive species. They treat invasive species like the Burmese Python the same way they treat game species, which is wrong: You write laws that limit who can take a species, and how they can take them, and when they can take them, to *PRESERVE* game for future hunters. They've taken that track with the pythons. What they should do is set up a bounty system, whereby anyone who comes in with a wild caught Burmese Python, alive or dead, gets a bounty. Require proof of a hunter safety course to pay out the bounty if you must*, but don't require them to have a current hunting or trapping license to collect. Don't limit it to just the established hunting seasons, to limited geographic areas, and to people who have a valid, current hunting license. That's just begging for the population to expand.

You see, managed sport hunting (which is how Florida FWS is managing the issue) doesn't lead to declines in the populations of the species hunted. More often than not, it leads to increases, as has been seen over the last 100 years with Deer, Black Bear, Wild Turkey, and to a lesser extent other species. Sport hunting is the wrong tool for eradication of invasive species.

The other two types of hunting, subsistence hunting and market hunting, *DO* tend to result in a decline of species, and in many cases, extinction or near extinction, which is the goal in this case: Geographic extinction of an invasive species. Since I can't imagine people suddenly developing a taste for python meat, it seems that market hunting is the answer, and hunting for a bounty is market hunting where the government is the buyer.

*A hunter safety certificate, or an expired hunting license.

dittybopper: They treat invasive species like the Burmese Python the same way they treat game species, which is wrong:

It's not the Burmese python's fault that their owners were stupid and didn't realize how big they get, so they let them go in the wild.

Mice first, then rats, then rabbits, then chickens...

patrick767: Snakes don't lie around waiting for the perfect moment to slaughter human beings.



Disagrees.

StanTheMan: ErgosumDominati: But is it poisonous!!!

Nope, and not venomous either. All the farking deadly crocs and venomous snakes in [img1.fark.net image 54x11], and this harmless petting-zoo animal is news? Hell, I encounter rattlesnakes at least once a month hiking with my dog in SoCal.

Yeah, I'm not very witty on making sarcastic remarks, but that's what it was meant to be.

dittybopper: Since I can't imagine people suddenly developing a taste for python meat



I bet it tastes like really long chicken.

dittybopper: Jack Black 62: Bucky Katt: Jack Black 62: She called 911? Really?

boas are an invasive species and should be rounded up.

I would have made a belt or a nice wallet, not call the jack boots.

Florida is *STUPID* in how it handles invasive species. They treat invasive species like the Burmese Python the same way they treat game species, which is wrong: You write laws that limit who can take a species, and how they can take them, and when they can take them, to *PRESERVE* game for future hunters. They've taken that track with the pythons. What they should do is set up a bounty system, whereby anyone who comes in with a wild caught Burmese Python, alive or dead, gets a bounty. Require proof of a hunter safety course to pay out the bounty if you must*, but don't require them to have a current hunting or trapping license to collect. Don't limit it to just the established hunting seasons, to limited geographic areas, and to people who have a valid, current hunting license. That's just begging for the population to expand.

You see, managed sport hunting (which is how Florida FWS is managing the issue) doesn't lead to declines in the populations of the species hunted. More often than not, it leads to increases, as has been seen over the last 100 years with Deer, Black Bear, Wild Turkey, and to a lesser extent other species. Sport hunting is the wrong tool for eradication of invasive species.

The other two types of hunting, subsistence hunting and market hunting, *DO* tend to result in a decline of species, and in many cases, extinction or near extinction, which is the goal in this case: Geographic extinction of an invasive species. Since I can't imagine people suddenly developing a taste for python meat, it seems that market hunting is the answer, and hunting for a bounty is market hunting where the government is the buyer.

*A hunter safety certificate, or an expired hunting license.

Google "Perverse Incentive".

dittybopper: Jack Black 62: Bucky Katt: Jack Black 62: She called 911? Really?

boas are an invasive species and should be rounded up.

I would have made a belt or a nice wallet, not call the jack boots.

Florida is *STUPID* in how it handles invasive species. They treat invasive species like the Burmese Python the same way they treat game species, which is wrong: You write laws that limit who can take a species, and how they can take them, and when they can take them, to *PRESERVE* game for future hunters. They've taken that track with the pythons. What they should do is set up a bounty system, whereby anyone who comes in with a wild caught Burmese Python, alive or dead, gets a bounty. Require proof of a hunter safety course to pay out the bounty if you must*, but don't require them to have a current hunting or trapping license to collect. Don't limit it to just the established hunting seasons, to limited geographic areas, and to people who have a valid, current hunting license. That's just begging for the population to expand.

You see, managed sport hunting (which is how Florida FWS is managing the issue) doesn't lead to declines in the populations of the species hunted. More often than not, it leads to increases, as has been seen over the last 100 years with Deer, Black Bear, Wild Turkey, and to a lesser extent other species. Sport hunting is the wrong tool for eradication of invasive species.

The other two types of hunting, subsistence hunting and market hunting, *DO* tend to result in a decline of species, and in many cases, extinction or near extinction, which is the goal in this case: Geographic extinction of an invasive species. Since I can't imagine people suddenly developing a taste for python meat, it seems that market hunting is the answer, and hunting for a bounty is market hunting where the government is the buyer.

*A hunter safety certificate, or an expired hunting license.

Having grown up in south FL, I can tell you that I would not trust Cletus the one-eyed hunter to differentiate a boa and some native snake. You would just get tards killing everything that slithers.

I love snakes, pythons in particular. Burmese pythons are the most docile of all pythons, especially ones bred for the pet trade. I understand that they're invasive, but it makes me sad to think they have to be killed.





Sleek, sexy serpents :3~

BoothbyTCD: Having grown up in south FL, I can tell you that I would not trust Cletus the one-eyed hunter to differentiate a boa and some native snake. You would just get tards killing everything that slithers.

It's a self-correcting problem: If they come in with a native snake that they took illegally, they'd get a fine instead of a bounty. Thus, they'd either learn to tell the difference really quickly (and no native snake looks like a Burmese Python), or they'd stop for fear of it costing them too much money.