Maybe he just wanted the police to touch his monkey.

Git-N-Go? Are you f*cking kidding me?

JasonOfOrillia: Maybe he just wanted the police to touch his monkey.

Police-assisted monkey slapping?

A clerk at the store said that when she asked him what he was doing behind the counter, Phipps replied, "Don't you worry about it. I'm going back to prison anyway."

Where he will regale his fellow inmates with the courageous tale, wherein he recounts hitting an officer with a stuffed monkey.

Yeah, he's gonna get LOTS of buttsecks ;)

i thought he had a pretty mouth



/subby
//slashie

Maybe it's started when I started smoking pot, maybe it was after I got arrested for not using my blinker, but I find myself rooting for the people assaulting the police more and more.

I once knocked the hat off a constable the night of the rowing match.

Well you wouldn't want to assault the police with your own stuffed monkey.

/Duh

did it.

/Rock'nRoll Martian

A clerk at the store said that when she asked him what he was doing behind the counter, Phipps replied, "Don't you worry about it. I'm going back to prison anyway."
Police said Phipps took one pair of sunglasses, two stuffed animals (pink and orange monkeys) and two packs of smokeless tobacco.

Nobody was hurt, and lulz where had by all. That is a very respectable way to achieve those ends.

The Angry Hand of God: Git-N-Go? Are you f*cking kidding me?

Better than the Kum & Go chain. Talk about false advertising. What an awkward encounter that was.

Git-N-Go

Now I may not be familiar with the ways of Iowans with their primaries and corn and subsequent subsidies, nor with their particular regional dialect or colloquial vocabulary, but where I'm from, "Git" and "Go" mean the same thing.

You're one of those fancy little lads, aren't you?

FunkOut: I would've used a lemur.

Link (new window)

I would hate to see the police take this incident as reason to eradicate sock monkeys.

Playtime's over.

saintstryfe: [www.mst3kinfo.com image 169x127]

did it.

/Rock'nRoll Martian

Came here to post the Dr. Pepper guy.

\has to go hit the mystical can

Arrested while swinging a monkey, yeah that's a monday.

/looking for my monkey or do I need to steal another

He should have brought a rabbit instead. (new window)

Meh.... I submitted a funnier headline than this one.

Only a question of the preferred monkey...

Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

It used to be that if an officer was hit with a stuffed animal, it would be a side note and a funny story. Now its assault. Doesn't assault mean you caused harm to another? Its so bad now, even raising your arm in the vicinity of the officer is deemed assault. Big tough guys with guns, tasers, nightsticks, and pepper spray who get hit with a stuffed animal and its assault. Any cop who calls this assault is a pussy. Plain and simple.

/yes the perp is a douche and deserves what he got.
//that cop is still a pussy

Inspector Clouseau: "Then the minkey's breaking the leu."

wildcardjack: I once knocked the hat off a constable the night of the rowing match.

Despicable!

Sugarmoobs: Doesn't assault mean you caused harm to another? Its so bad now, even raising your arm in the vicinity of the officer is deemed assault.

'Assault' is acting as if intending to strike or harm, and needn't even be physical, under some definitions. Actually hitting someone is 'battery'. So, yes, raising you arm towards a cop -- or *anyone* -- as if you might hit him, is in fact assault, and you can be charged for it.

Aulus: Yup, south side of Des Moines, figures.

South side night at Git-n-Go?

A riot in the making?

The Patchwork Monkey - a great story from Baleful Beasts and Eerie Creatures

Don't hit a cop with something that won't hurt him. What a waste.

Oh, god. Before I met my ex she stole stuffed animals from a convenience store once. As she tells it, she was drunk and high, with her "friends" who let her go ahead with it, and was saying things like, "You know what? I'm going to just take this thing and walk out with it without paying for it," right in front of the clerks. The police caught up with her about 2 blocks down the road, and even though she was underage and had Camo 40 caps in her pocket (instead of throwing them away) the cops only cited her for the retail theft and let her go on her way. After she left me she cried to get out of being caught smoking pot in a parked car at a park.

Maybe it's not so bad that she left.