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Global warming, as it turns out, is AWESOME
(
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Kazan
2012-01-09 10:13:18 AM
1500 years till the next cool phase? um.... you need another 0 there.
vpb
2012-01-09 10:34:06 AM
There's no such thing as global warming, and it's a good thing we have global warming or there might be an ice age around 3500AD.
thomps
2012-01-09 10:37:34 AM
you see, by living like there's no tomorrow, we're actually preparing for a distant future which we as a civilization are very likely to not see. also EAT YOUR WAY TO A SEXY BODY WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT
envirovore
2012-01-09 11:18:42 AM
It's been ~50F for the last week here when it's normally in the single or low double digits by now. So, I'm okay with this.
/even has his windows open right now.
baronvonzipper
2012-01-09 11:19:15 AM
I've been known to wobble myself at times. But I weather it.
MrSid
2012-01-09 11:19:29 AM
I'M HELPING!!!
Slaxl
2012-01-09 11:20:23 AM
envirovore
:
It's been ~50F for the last week here when it's normally in the single or low double digits by now. So, I'm okay with this.
/even has his windows open right now.
According to your bio you're Rasputin, so that explains what you're doing liking the cold so much.
CygnusDarius
2012-01-09 11:21:06 AM
The blasphemy of the Global Warming is such that only one solution is acceptable. Extermination. There can only be two sides in a fight - choose carefully, lest you and I find ourselves on different sides.
Jon iz teh kewl
2012-01-09 11:21:51 AM
So instead of carbon credits, they should be carbon ca$h. Meaning worthless pieces of paper.
CygnusDarius
2012-01-09 11:23:31 AM
They shall be my finest warriors, these men who give of themselves to me. Like clay I shall mould them, and in the furnace of war forge them. They will be of iron will and steely muscle. In great armour shall I clad them and with the mightiest guns will they be armed. They will be untouched by Logic or facts, no reason will blight them. They will have talking points, name-calling and flip-flops so that no foe can best them in an argument. They are my bulwark against the Terror. They are the Defenders of the Corporations. They are my Global Warming Deniers and they shall know no fear.
Slaxl
2012-01-09 11:23:55 AM
Slaxl
:
envirovore: It's been ~50F for the last week here when it's normally in the single or low double digits by now. So, I'm okay with this.
/even has his windows open right now.
According to your bio you're Rasputin, so that explains what you're doing liking the cold so much.
Oh wait, that was a tilde, I thought it was a minus, my bad. However that doesn't change the fact that you're the lover of the Russian queen.
baronvonzipper
2012-01-09 11:24:53 AM
CygnusDarius
:
The blasphemy of the Global Warming is such that only one solution is acceptable. Extermination. There can only be two sides in a fight - choose carefully, lest you and I find ourselves on different sides.
YOU. Yeah, you. Stand next to the mashed potatoes.
CygnusDarius
2012-01-09 11:25:46 AM
Within dark and forgotten places hide the enemies of the Corporations. You have been chosen to enter such places and, protected by the best arguments the Global Warming Deniers can provide, cleanse it. Take with you weapons, a valiant heart and the Job Creator's blessing, and engage the enemy where it makes its lair. Acknowledge facts as they approach, but do not succumb to their logic, for your purpose is great. You have proved yourselves to be worthy of the status you now hold. Every one of you standing here, all of whom have declared allegiance to the Corporations and take his will as your guide, have shown your courage and have been rewarded for it. Those that stand before me, I charge you now, go forth and vanquish the foe.
chimp_ninja
2012-01-09 11:26:24 AM
vpb
:
There's no such thing as global warming, and it's a good thing we have global warming or there might be an ice age around 3500AD.
Also quoth the lead author of the study, in TFA:
"But it's missing the point, because where we're going is not maintaining our currently warm climate but heating it much further, and adding CO2 to a warm climate is very different from adding it to a cold climate. The rate of change with CO2 is basically unprecedented, and there are huge consequences if we can't cope with that."
But I'm sure the usual suspects will be along shortly to explain how they were just
concerned
about the temperature in the year 3600.
thefireandpassion
2012-01-09 11:27:29 AM
I agree global warming is awesome considering the midwest hasn't been arse-farking cold.
envirovore
2012-01-09 11:27:43 AM
Slaxl
:
Slaxl: envirovore: It's been ~50F for the last week here when it's normally in the single or low double digits by now. So, I'm okay with this.
/even has his windows open right now.
According to your bio you're Rasputin, so that explains what you're doing liking the cold so much.
Oh wait, that was a tilde, I thought it was a minus, my bad. However that doesn't change the fact that you're the lover of the Russian queen.
Crap, my secret's out.
It's only a matter of time before I implode their dynasty, shhhh.
Just let those mofo's try to kill me.
StopLurkListen
2012-01-09 11:27:57 AM
I assumed subby was a stereotypical horny male farker and the link was to "more pretty girls in bikinis" or something.
dragonchild
2012-01-09 11:28:18 AM
vpb
:
There's no such thing as global warming, and it's a good thing we have global warming or there might be an ice age around 3500AD.
Farkers are always eager to say, "The only constant in all your [mistakes] is you." But when it comes to science, deniers have no problem constantly changing the story. One myth de-bunked? Move on to the next one.
To paraphrase Stephen Colbert*, we either have to admit we don't give a shiat about ruining this planet, or that we do care but we don't feel like doing any of the responsible things required.
*Colbert was talking about religion, but it's the same thought process -- denial is used as an excuse to act like a jerk.
Gunderson
2012-01-09 11:28:24 AM
More global warming, please!
kvinesknows
2012-01-09 11:34:20 AM
I like having sex with goats
mbillips
2012-01-09 11:34:47 AM
So, manmade greenhouse gases have no significant effect on the earth's climate AND they are forestalling the next Ice Age. That's some good CO2, there, Lou.
Stabone33
2012-01-09 11:34:55 AM
...So isn't this a good thing? Given that the biggest sections of arable land are above about 30 degrees, and that during ice ages deserts expand away from the equator and ice expands toward the equator...wouldn't another ice age be utterly catastrophic for humans?
Now we can all fight over the global thermostat. Africa's going to be all, "it's too cold -- can't you guys just turn out a few more Canyoneros?", and Canada be all, "put on a damn sweater -- fossil fuel doesn't grow on trees"
treesloth
2012-01-09 11:35:08 AM
If you'll excuse me, I'm off to eat more beans and cabbage.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
kvinesknows
2012-01-09 11:35:59 AM
Jon iz teh kewl
:
So instead of carbon credits, they should be carbon ca$h. Meaning worthless pieces of paper.
so..in other words the US dollar?
big pig peaches
2012-01-09 11:37:27 AM
I thought global warming was supposed to cause an ice-age. Too much fresh water in the "altantic engine" or something.
brainscab
2012-01-09 11:38:02 AM
hell of a last line...
"The rate of change with CO2 is basically unprecedented, and there are huge consequences if we can't cope with that."
fifthhorseman
2012-01-09 11:38:29 AM
thefireandpassion
:
I agree global warming is awesome considering the midwest hasn't been arse-farking cold.
Yeah, I'm cool with giving winter a miss this year.
georgeyporgey
2012-01-09 11:39:18 AM
Anyone get the feeling that the climate alarmist always seem trying to cover themselves. "We aren't dead yet because....., yeah that's the ticket!'
Electrify
2012-01-09 11:40:36 AM
Don't ice ages occur after an extended period of increased warming?
Jon Snow
2012-01-09 11:44:53 AM
big pig peaches
:
I thought global warming was supposed to cause an ice-age. Too much fresh water in the "altantic engine" or something.
If you get an enormous meltwater pulse from ice sheet collpase you can slowdown or stall the Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation (AMOC), which causes cooling in the North Atlantic. However, in order to get that much ice to melt in the NH in the first place, you have have
a lot
of warming. The net effect would be a slightly cooler North Atlantic relative to the other, much hotter areas of the globe, but the North Atlantic
would still be warmer
relative to the no warming scenario.
The whole "shutting down the AMOC = a new ice age" meme is an unfortunate mix of bad media reporting and provisional scientific results that were subsequently revised.
There isn't much risk of the AMOC stalling out anytime this century under even very aggressive warming.
atomsmoosher
2012-01-09 11:46:05 AM
I've read it, its nothing but SciFi in-jokes from two decades ago.
olddinosaur
2012-01-09 11:46:46 AM
The earth heats and cools in 400-year phases, and we are not sure why. Since we are at the peak of a 400-year heating cycle, it is not surprising it is warmer now than it was 400 years ago. 400 years before that, it was warm enough that Viking longboats could traverse the Northwest Passsage, a feat not duplicated until 1901--1903. The ancient Chinese Navy explored the polar region over 2000 years ago, when the icepack had receded even farther than today, but their records have been lost in antiquity.
It is extremely dangerous to postulate a coming downturn in global temperatures, because even a single degree cuts weeks off the growing season; with 7 billion people on earth and most of them very hungry, that is bad news indeed. Worse, all of our seeds are custom--blended to flourish in abnormally high temperatures; we could be facing catastrophe.
Despite all this, the "warmers" cling to their outmoded superstition, even when scientists they have paid to verify it admit they cannot do so. They hurl invective and vitriol at anyone who dares disagree with them, and anyone who attempts to inject scientific reason into the discussion is labeled a "denier" and lumped in with people who do not admit the Holocaust.
The whole thing is just a scam to take money out of our pockets and put power into the hands of people who have too much already.
But if carbon emissions are making the Earth hotter, what is causing the heating on Mars?
whidbey
2012-01-09 11:46:53 AM
dragonchild
:
To paraphrase Stephen Colbert*, we either have to admit we don't give a shiat about ruining this planet, or that we do care but we don't feel like doing any of the responsible things required.
*Colbert was talking about religion, but it's the same thought process -- denial is used as an excuse to act like a jerk.
Not to mention that religion is often used as an excuse to f*ck sh*t up because it's "the next world" we're really supposed to be concerned about.
NewWorldDan
2012-01-09 11:47:39 AM
Electrify
:
Don't ice ages occur after an extended period of increased warming?
Obviously, otherwise we'd be in a perpetual ice age. I'm enjoying the warmest Minnesota winter I can remember. And I'm burning less (a lot less!) natural gas to heat my house, so problem solved, right?
Cletus C.
2012-01-09 11:47:56 AM
I thought we weren't supposed to focus on a single weather event, like an ice age.
Jon Snow
2012-01-09 11:49:59 AM
Electrify
:
Don't ice ages occur after an extended period of increased warming?
Let's clarify terminology.
"Ice age" can refer to any period wherein we have significant glaciation at the poles. Under that definition, we're still in an ice age.
What most people mean when they say "ice age" is more correctly termed "glacial maxima", where glaciation is greatly increased and we had large ice sheets extending down into the continental US, for example. For the last several million years, we've had cyclical glacial maxima and interglacial (warm) periods, driven by changes in the Earth's orbit.
When we're melting out of a glacial maximum and warming towards an interglacial, we can see a brief return to cold climate in regions like the North Atlantic as huge meltwater pulses (from ice sheet melt) stall out the AMOC. These are not actual ice ages/glacial maxima. They're much more limited in terms of area of effect and duration.
brantgoose
2012-01-09 11:51:45 AM
During the coldest part of the last glaciation, CO2 levels were 180 ppm. At the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, they were 280 ppm. If the estimates are correct and 240-270 ppm are required to trigger glacier advances, we were in no real danger of glaciation in the near future. This was the position of most climatologists in the 1970s when the media made a flap about "global cooling" research, led by the maverick scientist, Royal Astronomer, Fred Hoyle. At that time there had been a multi-decadal cool spell which strengthened the convictions of a handful of contrarians like Hoyle, the author of the book
Ice
.
A new glaciation is not a high probability contingency with or without human impacts, although it is a high cost contingency and both probability and cost have to be considered to determine risk.
Recent studies suggest that scientists are underestimating the risk to species diversity and the ecology of climate change because they under-estimate the costs of some species of plants, animals, etc., not being able to adapt. We assume, rather naively, that species will be able to move to higher latitudes and higher altitudes to adapt to climate change, but there are barriers to some species, and the whole ecosystem can be disrupted if some gears and cogs fall out of the machine, so to speak. Also, with species on the move, it is anybody's guess how new combinations will work. One thing that is certain is that we will be getting new ecologies, new biomes, new communities, some of them made up of the survivors of the old communities and refugees. Both the degradation of the old communities and the refugees are wild cards which make the future uncertain and thus risky for humans as well as other living things. The real risk for our economies and the ecologies of the world is likely to be on the down side.
In turn, the unexpected consequences of mixing and matching new communities with new soils, new climate patterns and new water resources, etc., means that risk is higher than we think and our expectations are going to fall much short of reality.
For a long time (since the mid-nineteenth century), climatogists have believed the world is warming and that warming is a good thing. Being Europeans or at the limit North Americans, they were more concerned about the northern limits of crop planting in places like Russia, Scandinavia, the UK and Canada. Guy Stewart Callendar, the English scientist who proposed the Callendar Effect (the link between CO2 and rising temperatures) believed this in the 1920s. The scientists were once as naive as the denialists in expecting that a warmer world would mean crop and tree lines would march northward and living creatures would simply move. But as more and more data, knowledge and understanding have accumulated, climatologists (and biologists and geologists) have learned how complex and dynamic the world really is.
The more you know about how the world works, the harder it is to say what the risks are. Chaos theory came out of meteorology, remember. We face all sorts of complexity and complications on the way to adaptation. Nothing is totally given. The Devil, as the old proverb says, is in the details.
Tommy Moo
2012-01-09 11:52:59 AM
Global warming is real and humans are contributing to it, and it will create some near term concerns that we will have to navigate over the next couple hundred years, but the people who are claiming ridiculous things like "all life on planet earth will go extinct if the temperature increases by 3 degrees" aren't helping. Carbon emissions are a reality. This war is upon us. Even if we cut emissions to zero, China wouldn't do the same. Our charge is to deal with the consequences, and if we can't do that, then we will suffer. Period.
As an aside, on a long enough time scale, what we're doing is actually
good
for the environment. Things die. Sometimes when things die they get buried and turned to coal or oil. There is no natural process that mines carbon out of the deep earth and returns it to the ecosystem. If not for human activity, eventually all carbon would net drift underground, meaning a world with no life on the surface.
pute kisses like a man
2012-01-09 11:53:06 AM
Gunderson
:
[28.media.tumblr.com image 466x700]
More global warming, please!
yes sir, thank you sir
Gleeman
2012-01-09 11:55:36 AM
/obligatory
//hot like this winter in North America
Jon Snow
2012-01-09 11:56:12 AM
olddinosaur
:
The earth heats and cools in 400-year phases
[citation needed]
Please point out this 400 year "cycle" in the temperature record over the last 800,000 years[1]. Or, for that matter, what effect this supposed "cycle" should have been having over the instrumental record and what its drivers supposedly are[2].
[1] Köhler, P., et al. (2010): What caused Earth's temperature variations during the last 800,000 years? Data-based evidence on radiative forcing and constraints on climate sensitivity. Quaternary Science Reviews, 29/1-2, 129-145, doi:10.1016/j.quascirev.2009.09.026.
[2] Lean, J.L., and D.H. Rind (2008): How natural and anthropogenic influences alter global and regional surface temperatures: 1889 to 2006. Geophysical Research Letters, 35, L18701, doi:10.1029/2008GL034864.
canyoneer
2012-01-09 11:56:33 AM
Nothing to worry about - we'll solve this global warming business by driving several hundred million plug-in hybrid cars powered by whirlygigs on our beanies, and when it gets too cold in 1,500 years, we'll use cold fusion to deploy some
Alaskan Polar Bear Heaters.
(new window)
Jon Snow
2012-01-09 11:56:51 AM
Tommy Moo
:
the people who are claiming ridiculous things like "all life on planet earth will go extinct if the temperature increases by 3 degrees" aren't helping
Who?
big pig peaches
2012-01-09 11:57:20 AM
Jon Snow
:
big pig peaches: I thought global warming was supposed to cause an ice-age. Too much fresh water in the "altantic engine" or something.
If you get an enormous meltwater pulse from ice sheet collpase you can slowdown or stall the Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation (AMOC), which causes cooling in the North Atlantic. However, in order to get that much ice to melt in the NH in the first place, you have have a lot of warming. The net effect would be a slightly cooler North Atlantic relative to the other, much hotter areas of the globe, but the North Atlantic would still be warmer relative to the no warming scenario.
The whole "shutting down the AMOC = a new ice age" meme is an unfortunate mix of bad media reporting and provisional scientific results that were subsequently revised.
There isn't much risk of the AMOC stalling out anytime this century under even very aggressive warming.
Thanks for the update. We were taught that 15 some odd years ago. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go adjust my belt onion.
treesloth
2012-01-09 11:57:38 AM
whidbey
:
Not to mention that religion is often used as an excuse to f*ck sh*t up because it's "the next world" we're really supposed to be concerned about.
As is common, that's only one side of that particular coin. The other is that this world and its creatures are God's creation and are due the respect of such. Another view is that this world is a place to prepare to be with God; successive generations will need to use it as such as well. All told, though, I've never heard the idea espoused that, since we're more concerned about the next world, we're free to screw up this one. I'm not claiming it's never been said, but I can't think of any major religious body that claims that. I'm open to being surprised, though.
nicoffeine
2012-01-09 11:57:39 AM
I can't wait until I'm sitting by a fully flowing LA river sipping some drink with an umbrella in it.
dragonchild
2012-01-09 11:57:48 AM
brantgoose
:
For a long time (since the mid-nineteenth century), climatogists have believed the world is warming and that warming is a good thing.
Warming IS a good thing. Or at least, not bad. Leads to longer growing seasons and all that. The problems are the cause and the rate.
The average human body temperture is right around 98.5-98.7 degrees Fahrenheit. In 1-10 million years that might go up to over 100, or it might go down. Who knows? Point is, because it'll have happened naturally, when it happens it won't be a problem. The actual temperature is not the issue here.
When your temperture goes up to 100 in a short period of time, though, it's called a farking
fever
, and could be a sign of a loss of
thermoregulation
. That is
fatal
. It's not a direct analogy, but the planet has a passive form of thermoregulation called the carbon cycle.
The planet is losing its thermoregulation and running a fever. You have to be an idiot to think that's a good thing.
Tommy Moo
2012-01-09 11:58:14 AM
Jon Snow
:
Tommy Moo: the people who are claiming ridiculous things like "all life on planet earth will go extinct if the temperature increases by 3 degrees" aren't helping
Who?
Touche. I can't remember his name, but he is a climatologist at Cornell. He came to my school to give a lecture last year. Maybe I'll look it up later, but I have to get to a meeting in a few.
Parthenogenetic
2012-01-09 11:59:18 AM
CygnusDarius
:
Within dark and forgotten places hide the enemies of the Corporations. You have been chosen to enter such places and, protected by the best arguments the Global Warming Deniers can provide, cleanse it. Take with you weapons, a valiant heart and the Job Creator's blessing, and engage the enemy where it makes its lair. Acknowledge facts as they approach, but do not succumb to their logic, for your purpose is great. You have proved yourselves to be worthy of the status you now hold. Every one of you standing here, all of whom have declared allegiance to the Corporations and take his will as your guide, have shown your courage and have been rewarded for it. Those that stand before me, I charge you now, go forth and vanquish the foe.
"Blessed is the mind too small for doubt."
"Faith is purest when it is unquestioning."
"An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded."
"The ethics of booklearning and scholarship I leave to the savants. But for what it's worth, I would have burned it without a second thought."
big pig peaches
2012-01-09 12:00:22 PM
NewWorldDan
:
Electrify: Don't ice ages occur after an extended period of increased warming?
Obviously, otherwise we'd be in a perpetual ice age. I'm enjoying the warmest Minnesota winter I can remember. And I'm burning less (a lot less!) natural gas to heat my house, so problem solved, right?
Except when summer comes and you fire up the air conditioner.
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