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(CNN) Stupid Now that the orgasmic glow of that whole "American navy rescued our sailors from pirates and we said thank you" thing has faded, Iran decides to roll over and sentence a captured American citizen to death   (cnn.com) divider line 122
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6470 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2012 at 10:24 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2012-01-09 08:55:44 AM
The US has made them lose face by doing something nice for them (and it made them look militarily weak, to boot, since their Navy couldn't rescue the fishing ship from pirates themselves).

How else to retaliate and make themselves look strong?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-01-09 09:18:02 AM
"Death" means Iran wants a bigger ransom than last time.
 
2012-01-09 09:26:43 AM
Aww, they're so cute when they want to be taken seriously.
 
2012-01-09 09:31:21 AM
Shouldn't our State Department be up in arms (metaphorically) about this?
 
2012-01-09 09:32:15 AM
On the plus side, perceived enemies of the state get trials...
 
2012-01-09 09:36:32 AM
is it me or did the last part of that article not make any sense? what was the deal with the reciept? effing iran is confusing.
 
2012-01-09 10:07:45 AM
ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Shouldn't our State Department be up in arms (metaphorically) about this?

The State Department probably is, but their jobs aren't made easier or better if everyone perceives them as threatening people. State is most effective quietly negotiating behind the scenes.
 
2012-01-09 10:17:47 AM
rhino33: is it me or did the last part of that article not make any sense? what was the deal with the reciept? effing iran is confusing.

Yeah, I don't think of espionage as a world where one wants a receipt.
 
2012-01-09 10:28:19 AM
Wow. 8 posts in and no, "Religion of peace," prods? Maybe Fark is starting to grow up...
 
2012-01-09 10:29:59 AM
The US would have a lot better chance of getting him out if we hadn't thrown away the moral high ground when we started doing everything that the worst dictatorship does in order to "protect" ourselves against terrorism. Torture? Indefinite detention? Warrentless searches? We got 'em.
 
2012-01-09 10:30:37 AM
ThatGuyFromTheInternet: rhino33: is it me or did the last part of that article not make any sense? what was the deal with the reciept? effing iran is confusing.

Yeah, I don't think of espionage as a world where one wants a receipt.


I think you can write it off.
 
2012-01-09 10:31:15 AM
This guy is a dual US/Iranian citizen. Iran doesnt recognize dual citizenship, so they see him as an iranian citizen that is a "spy"
 
2012-01-09 10:32:26 AM
www.soundonsight.org
 
2012-01-09 10:32:54 AM
I guess I'll have to cancel my spring break trip to Iran.
 
2012-01-09 10:34:38 AM
I_Am_Weasel: On the plus side, perceived enemies of the state get trials...

No kidding, Iran being more fair than America?
 
2012-01-09 10:34:43 AM
StupidPopMediaReference: Wow. 8 posts in and no, "Religion of peace," prods? Maybe Fark is starting to grow up...

all the good ones have been used up in other comments threads.
 
2012-01-09 10:36:47 AM
Iran's state-run news agency IRNA, on its English website, said the court found him "caught red-handed in armed struggle against God" and "corrupt on Earth."

How do you get caugth "red-handed in armed struggle against God"?
 
2012-01-09 10:37:48 AM
Guy was an idiot to go back to Iran after being in the US military and doing contracting work for the US govt.
 
2012-01-09 10:37:59 AM
Can someone tell me, does this have the potential to get out of control, and will we all be lucky to live through it?
 
2012-01-09 10:38:57 AM
liam76: Iran's state-run news agency IRNA, on its English website, said the court found him "caught red-handed in armed struggle against God" and "corrupt on Earth."

How do you get caugth "red-handed in armed struggle against God"?


Getting caught trying to pee in the holy water is the only thing I can come up with.
 
2012-01-09 10:40:08 AM
InBeforeTexasKillsMorePeople

Seriously, you break their laws, don't expect special treatment. It's like going to Texas, committing mass murder, and expecting to get off with a 15 year sentence.
 
2012-01-09 10:40:18 AM
US sends spy drones into Iran, then demands their return.

hmmmmmm... I need more information on what this guy's deal was, what was he doing. Was he actually spying ?

If he was then it would be a bit hypocritical for the US to complain about the bad guys doing bad stuff.
 
2012-01-09 10:40:55 AM
liam76: Iran's state-run news agency IRNA, on its English website, said the court found him "caught red-handed in armed struggle against God" and "corrupt on Earth."

How do you get caugth "red-handed in armed struggle against God"?


Translation of farsi words.
 
2012-01-09 10:41:07 AM
It's time to send in Jimmy Carter.
 
2012-01-09 10:41:46 AM
Could the execution of an American citizen by a hostile foreign power be regarded as a murder by the International Court, if not an outright Act of War?
 
2012-01-09 10:42:35 AM
Slaxl: Can someone tell me, does this have the potential to get out of control, and will we all be lucky to live through it?

You see that ring on his finger? The Academy, Class of '01. A Marine. Summer of his third year, he and his squad went down in a chopper accident in the Med. Bad - pilot, crew killed. That kid spent ten months in traction, another year learning to walk again. Did his fourth year from the hospital. Now it's up to you, Slalx, but you might consider cuttin' the kid a little slack.
 
2012-01-09 10:44:49 AM
netcentric: It's time to send in Jimmy Carter.

And the Rev. Jesse Jackson.
 
2012-01-09 10:45:00 AM
They will probably strap him to the front of a Boghammer, mad max style, and ram him into a US Navy ship in the gulf. Aiiiieeeeee.... boom
 
2012-01-09 10:46:25 AM
cbackous: This guy is a dual US/Iranian citizen. Iran doesnt recognize dual citizenship, so they see him as an iranian citizen that is a "spy"

The US doesn't recognize dual citizenship with Iran either so I have no clue why this is printed
 
2012-01-09 10:46:45 AM
If Iran was smart they would immediately kill any american they found inside their country.

And they would be completely justified in doing so.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1953_Iranian_coup_d'%C3%A9tat
 
2012-01-09 10:47:11 AM
Thoguh: The US would have a lot better chance of getting him out if we hadn't thrown away the moral high ground when we started doing everything that the worst dictatorship does in order to "protect" ourselves against terrorism. Torture? Indefinite detention? Warrentless searches? We got 'em.

"oh wait you're serious.jpg"

/let me laugh harder
//as if the US wasn't always doing those things
///"Moral high ground" doesn't mean anything in this situation
 
2012-01-09 10:47:17 AM
liam76: Iran's state-run news agency IRNA, on its English website, said the court found him "caught red-handed in armed struggle against God" and "corrupt on Earth."

How do you get caugth "red-handed in armed struggle against God"?


I hear that he punched the Koran enough times that his hand turned red. Said hand is attached the end of his arm, so there you go.

ProTip: Don't visit enemy countries, especially they are run by insane religious nutbags, and super-especially if you are a former member of the US military, and currently own a company which contracts with the US military.
 
2012-01-09 10:47:29 AM
Iran has sentenced an American ex-Marine to death for espionage.

There's no such thing as an ex-Marine, CNN.
 
2012-01-09 10:48:17 AM
miss diminutive: Slaxl: Can someone tell me, does this have the potential to get out of control, and will we all be lucky to live through it?

You see that ring on his finger? The Academy, Class of '01. A Marine. Summer of his third year, he and his squad went down in a chopper accident in the Med. Bad - pilot, crew killed. That kid spent ten months in traction, another year learning to walk again. Did his fourth year from the hospital. Now it's up to you, Slalx, but you might consider cuttin' the kid a little slack.


This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it
 
2012-01-09 10:48:55 AM
miss diminutive: Slaxl: Can someone tell me, does this have the potential to get out of control, and will we all be lucky to live through it?

You see that ring on his finger? The Academy, Class of '01. A Marine. Summer of his third year, he and his squad went down in a chopper accident in the Med. Bad - pilot, crew killed. That kid spent ten months in traction, another year learning to walk again. Did his fourth year from the hospital. Now it's up to you, Slalx, but you might consider cuttin' the kid a little slack.


miss diminutive, when I was twelve, I helped my daddy build a bomb shelter in our basement because some fool parked a dozen warheads 90 miles off the coast of Florida. Well, this thing could park a coupla hundred warheads off Washington and New York and no one would know anything about it till it was all over.
 
2012-01-09 10:50:45 AM
ahhhh islam, fostering retardation since the 7th century
 
2012-01-09 10:52:04 AM
Publikwerks: miss diminutive, when I was twelve, I helped my daddy build a bomb shelter in our basement because some fool parked a dozen warheads 90 miles off the coast of Florida. Well, this thing could park a coupla hundred warheads off Washington and New York and no one would know anything about it till it was all over.

we can thank Obama and his liberal peacniking for killing programs like NIKE that might have protected this great nation.

/am I doing it rite?
//you guys already used all the good Red October quotes
 
2012-01-09 10:54:12 AM
As if on cue, PBK just sent me a video lecture by Jamsheed Choksy on the evolution of modern Iran and the motivations for the current government's political actions and reactions.

Here's a link.
 
2012-01-09 10:54:22 AM
liam76: Iran's state-run news agency IRNA, on its English website, said the court found him "caught red-handed in armed struggle against God" and "corrupt on Earth."

How do you get caugth "red-handed in armed struggle against God"?


Making a bet against Tebow and the Broncos?
 
2012-01-09 10:55:14 AM
Voiceofreason01: Publikwerks: miss diminutive, when I was twelve, I helped my daddy build a bomb shelter in our basement because some fool parked a dozen warheads 90 miles off the coast of Florida. Well, this thing could park a coupla hundred warheads off Washington and New York and no one would know anything about it till it was all over.

we can thank Obama and his liberal peacniking for killing programs like NIKE that might have protected this great nation.

/am I doing it rite?
//you guys already used all the good Red October quotes


All?

Voiceofreason01, be careful. Somethings in here don't react well to bullets.
 
2012-01-09 10:55:36 AM
Well, we have all this shiat laying around since we pulled out of Iraq. Might as well put it to good use.
 
2012-01-09 10:56:56 AM
Joe Blowme: ahhhh islam, fostering retardation since the 7th century

You get the "First xenophobe of the thread" award!
 
2012-01-09 11:00:30 AM
jayphat: All?

Voiceofreason01, be careful. Somethings in here don't react well to bullets.


shiat.

/thinks you're some kind of cowboy
 
2012-01-09 11:02:20 AM
He probably really was spying.
 
2012-01-09 11:04:00 AM
ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Shouldn't our State Department be up in arms (metaphorically) about this?

I'm sure they sent a strongly worded letter to the Swiss and Pakistan Embassies to pass along.

As noted in a prior response...just another extortion game.

Wonder what the price is this time.
 
2012-01-09 11:04:26 AM
That's a nice image of the guy. Here's a better one.

www.montrealgazette.com

Source: Link (new window)
 
2012-01-09 11:06:55 AM
Publikwerks: miss diminutive: Slaxl: Can someone tell me, does this have the potential to get out of control, and will we all be lucky to live through it?

You see that ring on his finger? The Academy, Class of '01. A Marine. Summer of his third year, he and his squad went down in a chopper accident in the Med. Bad - pilot, crew killed. That kid spent ten months in traction, another year learning to walk again. Did his fourth year from the hospital. Now it's up to you, Slalx, but you might consider cuttin' the kid a little slack.

miss diminutive, when I was twelve, I helped my daddy build a bomb shelter in our basement because some fool parked a dozen warheads 90 miles off the coast of Florida. Well, this thing could park a coupla hundred warheads off Washington and New York and no one would know anything about it till it was all over.


Hunt for Red October quotes aside, the US better do something quick or else this guy will never get to see Montana.
 
2012-01-09 11:07:15 AM
I was really hoping Iran had more style than this...

Realistically, I know they won't just let the guy walk, but that doesn't mean they couldn't have used this to even greater political advantage.

Here is how I would have handled it, in the alternate world where I am the ruler of a well known middle eastern country.

Water-board the ever living shiat out of him. Expose this poor soul to every last farked up thing we came up with in Gitmo, and do it for a good 6 months. Make sure he's gone through it all... and then publicly release him along with a full record of every last thing that happened. Detail it down to the minute, just for show. Give him back while explaining, "We only followed the guidelines proposed by the United States in the treatment of this prisoner. We have done no more or less than has been done to others. There was no torture."

Now that forces the U.S. back on it's heels, and makes us look like the bad guys.... AFTER THEY TORTURED SOMEONE FOR MONTHS! I had really hoped for something along these lines, as it would not only show them as being relatively "merciful" but also remove a huge amount of public support for any U.S. action in Iran while the Federal Government dealt with the fallout.

Whatever does and did happen to Amir Mirzaei Hekmati, I am truly sorry. He's been abused and tortured and in his last hours, he is likely to only know pain and misery. That is not something anyone should ever be made to endure. My heart goes out to him, his family, and all those who are made to suffer as a result of this situation.
 
2012-01-09 11:08:00 AM
I was about to be outraged.
Then I noticed he was brown.

Carry on gods work... fundies!
 
2012-01-09 11:08:15 AM
So, uhm, he admitted trying to get paid to deliver false information from the CIA to Iran, got caught, and the rest is surprising precisely why again?
 
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