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(Starpulse)   If you take the best features of eight smoking hot actresses, such as Kate Beckinsale, Kelly Brook & Megan Fox, and put them together to make the "ultimate woman" you'll get someone who looks exactly like Kim Kardashian   (starpulse.com ) divider line 150
    More: Fail, Kim Kardashian, Kate Beckinsale, Kelly Brook, Gwyneth Paltrow, cheekbones, duchess  
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17413 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Jan 2012 at 10:47 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



150 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-01-08 07:42:14 PM  
Who needs the "ultimate" woman? Any of the Sun's page 3 girls could eat graham crackers in my bed after farking.
 
2012-01-08 07:50:22 PM  
That looks like Angelina Jolie.
 
2012-01-08 08:07:26 PM  
Depends on whether or not she gives the worlds most awesome BJer or not.
They can look as hot as all get out and be cadavers in the sack or have the
personality of a brick. Yes I say that from personal experience.

/for every hot chick there's some guy that's sick of her shiat.
//had to be said.
 
2012-01-08 09:13:25 PM  
When I cut my favorite parts out of People's magazine it looks like my mom. And she looks nothing like Kim Kardashian. These scientists are full of shiat.
 
2012-01-08 09:36:18 PM  
Pre or post surgery?
 
2012-01-08 09:38:36 PM  

CavalierEternal: That looks like Angelina JolieDannika Patrick.

 
2012-01-08 09:42:07 PM  

basemetal: CavalierEternal: That looks like Angelina JolieDannika PatrickSandra Bullock.

 
2012-01-08 10:08:40 PM  
However, all 8 together still couldn't combine to make Dat Ass.
 
2012-01-08 10:49:56 PM  
what are the "best features" of megan fox?
 
2012-01-08 10:51:18 PM  

moothemagiccow: what are the "best features" of megan fox?


s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com
 
2012-01-08 10:54:24 PM  
Nooooo, Kate Beckinsale on her own is just fine.
 
2012-01-08 10:55:23 PM  

The Martian Manhandler: moothemagiccow: what are the "best features" of megan fox?

[s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com image 500x304]


I have toe thumbs. No one even notices unless I point it out.
 
2012-01-08 10:59:35 PM  
Sorry, the photo on the left looks a lot like the trannies at this bar I used to work at.
 
2012-01-08 11:00:20 PM  

The Martian Manhandler: moothemagiccow: what are the "best features" of megan fox?

[s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com image 500x304]


it looks like a Hobbit toe.
 
2012-01-08 11:00:44 PM  

FunkOut: The Martian Manhandler: moothemagiccow: what are the "best features" of megan fox?

[s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com image 500x304]

I have toe thumbs. No one even notices unless I point it out.


Is this where I say 'EIP'?
 
2012-01-08 11:00:53 PM  
Because black, indian, asian, and hispanic women don't exist.

/Thats my preference in order
//maybe brunettes somewhere in there.
 
2012-01-08 11:01:41 PM  
can I please have all the left over bits and pieces of the other 8?
 
2012-01-08 11:01:51 PM  
Ok, they convinced me. I'll fark Kim.
 
2012-01-08 11:02:31 PM  
Ultimate Attention Whore? Sure.
 
2012-01-08 11:03:29 PM  
Substitute Maria Menosunos for Gwynenth Paltrow. Kick out Kate Middleton and replace with Sofia Vergara. Remove Kira Knightly and add some Rashida Jones (for color)

Then we'll talk


In other news, this is the first time I ever typed out Gwyneth Paltrow
 
2012-01-08 11:04:32 PM  
FFS...
 
2012-01-08 11:05:32 PM  
That doesn't look anything like Kim Kardahsian. And stop inflating her ego, which is already bigger than her ass.
 
2012-01-08 11:06:31 PM  
If I take Caviar, Lobster, Porterhouse steak, belgian waffles, stilton, egg rolls and chocolate eclairs and put them into a blender to 'make them one'

I get what's called a dog's dinner. Don't want to touch it, or put it anywhere near me.

But by themselves, enjoyed in any sequence as individuals, (or in rare occasions when things compliment one another) I'm exceedingly happy.
 
2012-01-08 11:06:35 PM  

jake3_14: Who needs the "ultimate" woman? Any of the Sun's page 3 girls could eat graham crackers in my bed after farking.


Ooh, today's a Poppy day. And by today, I mean Monday, which they've started in Great Britain already. And she has a new 360 now too.
 
2012-01-08 11:12:05 PM  
Great Googley-Moogley! How much did Kimmie pay for this story?
 
2012-01-08 11:15:45 PM  
It's like a sexy Voltron!

/not actually terribly attracted to Kim K...but the rest, mrowr!
 
2012-01-08 11:19:56 PM  

FunkOut: Nooooo, Kate Beckinsale on her own is just fine.

 
2012-01-08 11:21:52 PM  
How about NO
 
2012-01-08 11:23:14 PM  

FunkOut: The Martian Manhandler: moothemagiccow: what are the "best features" of megan fox?

[s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com image 500x304]

I have toe thumbs. No one even notices mentions them unless I point it out.


They notice.
 
2012-01-08 11:25:40 PM  
If you add all their butts together in one massive butt it's the same size as Kardashian's?
 
2012-01-08 11:26:29 PM  
There's a fair amount of actual scientific research done on what makes the most beautiful face. The celebrities that have the best ratios (according to one study) are Liz Hurley, Shania Twain and Jessica Alba. Which makes sense to me.

/Kim Kardashian is really good looking
//If you're not attracted to her, either you only like rail-thin girls or you dislike her for personality reasons
///Both are fine, not criticizing
 
2012-01-08 11:27:40 PM  

lacydog: /Kim Kardashian is really good looking
//If you're not attracted to her, either you only like rail-thin girls or you dislike her for personality reasons
///Both are fine, not criticizing


Aestethically, I can see what you mean, but, honestly, it IS the personality, the vapidness and the over saturation of her in media that really push me away from being attracted to her.
 
2012-01-08 11:30:25 PM  

PizzaJedi81: lacydog: /Kim Kardashian is really good looking
//If you're not attracted to her, either you only like rail-thin girls or you dislike her for personality reasons
///Both are fine, not criticizing

Aestethically, I can see what you mean, but, honestly, it IS the personality, the vapidness and the over saturation of her in media that really push me away from being attracted to her.


If I saw a picture of her and didn't know who she was I'd say she's hot. I'd say Paris Hilton is cute though and I would rather fark the average girl at any bar in America over her.
 
2012-01-08 11:34:36 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: FunkOut: The Martian Manhandler: moothemagiccow: what are the "best features" of megan fox?

[s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com image 500x304]

I have toe thumbs. No one even notices mentions them unless I point it out.

They notice.


I was in classes with people for months and all of a sudden a girl says "OMG, you have little thumbs! They're so cute!" Then have everyone gathering around to marvel at my thumbs. Then again, I have small hands, it's not like it's little thumbs on regular adult sized hands.
 
2012-01-08 11:35:12 PM  
ummm, "exactly" subby?

One of those pictures will give me nightmares for weeks, and the other one is a computer-generated pseudo-person that is very very deep in the uncanny valley.
 
2012-01-08 11:36:33 PM  
STDs are not part of my ultimate woman.
 
2012-01-08 11:37:03 PM  

FunkOut: I have small hands


Oh, god...youre a carney, aren't you?
 
2012-01-08 11:37:29 PM  

FunkOut: Quantum Apostrophe: FunkOut: The Martian Manhandler: moothemagiccow: what are the "best features" of megan fox?

[s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com image 500x304]

I have toe thumbs. No one even notices mentions them unless I point it out.

They notice.

I was in classes with people for months and all of a sudden a girl says "OMG, you have little thumbs! They're so cute!" Then have everyone gathering around to marvel at my thumbs. Then again, I have small hands, it's not like it's little thumbs on regular adult sized hands.


A girl I saw for a bit had tiny hands, but they looked like T-rex claws. Stubby, and the nails didn't help. I know it's not something you can help, but damn.
 
2012-01-08 11:39:05 PM  

M0nkeyp0x: STDs and attention whoring are not part of my ultimate woman.



FTFM.
 
2012-01-08 11:39:49 PM  

FunkOut: Nooooo, Kate Beckinsale on her own is just fine.


Fun fact: I just read an article yesterday that says she studied French and Russian literature at Oxford and almost went to medical school. So she's hot AND smart.

And the even better news is that she has a knock-down, drag-out catfight with Jessica Biel in the upcoming Total Recall remake. Giggity!
 
2012-01-08 11:41:23 PM  

fusillade762: And the even better news is that she has a knock-down, drag-out catfight with Jessica Biel in the upcoming Total Recall remake. Giggity!


Well, I shan't be leaving my bunk for some time.
 
2012-01-08 11:44:57 PM  
Usually my list of ultimate women traits starts like:
1. likes me enough not to cheat
2. Wants to have sex as much as I do and when I do
3. Her belly does not protrude and is not stretched beyond repair and she does not smell bad or have an STD
4. At least most people would think she is normally attractive.


Without #1 AND #2 she is worthless to me.
 
2012-01-08 11:46:20 PM  
Whoretrontm displays a disturbing lack of Scarlett Johannson
 
2012-01-08 11:50:37 PM  

FunkOut: The Martian Manhandler: moothemagiccow: what are the "best features" of megan fox?

[s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com image 500x304]

I have toe thumbs. No one even notices unless I point it out.


I think they're freaked out by your creepy eyes.

/just kidding
//not really
 
2012-01-08 11:50:53 PM  

rev. dave: Usually my list of ultimate women traits starts like:
1. likes me enough not to cheat
2. Wants to have sex as much as I do and when I do
3. Her belly does not protrude and is not stretched beyond repair and she does not smell bad or have an STD
4. At least most people would think she is normally attractive.


Without #1 AND #2 she is worthless to me.


Lol...so true for most of us.
 
2012-01-08 11:55:46 PM  

fusillade762: FunkOut: Nooooo, Kate Beckinsale on her own is just fine.

Fun fact: I just read an article yesterday that says she studied French and Russian literature at Oxford and almost went to medical school. So she's hot AND smart.


As a hetero woman, I would like to say Kate Beckinsale is pretty damned cool as well as gorgeous.
 
2012-01-08 11:59:56 PM  
I gotta say that their top 8 is very far from my top 8 ... so the result would not be a Kardashian.
 
2012-01-09 12:00:37 AM  

FunkOut: I was in classes with people for months and all of a sudden a girl says "OMG, you have little thumbs! They're so cute!"


The perfect thing to say when they wanted to look at your tits.
 
2012-01-09 12:07:28 AM  

FunkOut: The Martian Manhandler: moothemagiccow: what are the "best features" of megan fox?

[s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com image 500x304]

I have toe thumbs. No one even notices unless I point it out.


Yes, they do.
 
2012-01-09 12:10:54 AM  
beckinsale is perfect, why would I want any of that shiat stuck on her, except for possibly those great boobs?
especially not the f*cking chin, and those crusty lips. neverseen anything so herpe infected in my life.

www.beautystripe.com
 
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