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(Washington Post)   Tonight, the remaining GOP candidates square off in preparation for the New Hampshire primary. Will Santorum blast Romney? Will it be worth watching since Bachmann is gone? The derp begins at 9pm ET on ABC   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 1164
    More: PSA, New Hampshire primary, Mitt Romney, GOP, Rick Santorum, New Hampshire Republicans, New Hampshire, New Hampshire Union Leader, Republican debates  
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703 clicks; posted to Politics » on 07 Jan 2012 at 8:30 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-07 12:11:50 PM
Here's how it will go:

Romney makes measured, calculated statements that will not hurt him in New Hampshire or South Carolina.

Rick Santorum will blast his way into the coveted "Craziest Motherf*cker Left" spot until Perry gets back in South Carolina.

Newt Gingrich will summon all the hate and anger he has accrued over decades in politics and paint Romney as a super liberal with his own words. He will play the suicide bomber to Romney's bus tour.

Jon Huntsman will be intelligent, witty, thoughtful, and express a view of the country that shows he cares more about it's future than his own political present. Thus winning him the 1960 Republican Presidential Nomination.
 
2012-01-07 12:14:48 PM
RON PAUL will win unless the media deliberately tries to crash and burn the guy which they undoubtedly will.
 
2012-01-07 12:26:34 PM

eddyatwork: RON PAUL will win unless the media deliberately tries to crash and burn the guy which they undoubtedly will.


Or, you know, if anyone pays attention to him long enough. That'll kind of screw the pooch for him too.

Did you buy more gold today?
 
2012-01-07 12:26:44 PM
Oops, I pulled a Perry and forget RON PAUL.

RON PAUL will make several statements that a super majority of Americans would agree with, then he will make + or - two comments that will make him look like the crazy old coot who stands in your town square complaining about the government controlling the weather.
 
2012-01-07 12:29:52 PM
I was worried when Cain quit that we'd be dropping down to DERPCON-4, but Bachmann took up the slack.

Now that she's gone, Santorum is doing a pretty good job of keeping the DERP flowing.

As long as there's at least 2 candidates left, the Republicans will deliver the lulz.
 
2012-01-07 12:45:55 PM
Are their drinking game rules?
 
2012-01-07 12:48:22 PM
Will Newt cockblock Santorum? Will a desperate Perry try to lethally inject Ron Paul? Is Mormon-on-Mormon violence inherent in the system?

Confused?

You will be after this episode of

GOP
 
2012-01-07 12:58:02 PM
You would think at some point the candidates would realize that these debates aren't exactly helping anyone except Obama.
 
2012-01-07 01:04:00 PM

Marcus Aurelius: You would think at some point the candidates would realize that these debates aren't exactly helping anyone except Obama.


See the problem with your theory is that you assume that debates are inherently negative. Debates are where a candidate expresses their view on a variety of issues in front of an audience of voters. It's not the debate's fault that the candidates are all functional retards.
 
2012-01-07 01:23:06 PM
I'm looking forward to Perry remembering a third thing.
 
2012-01-07 01:35:00 PM
Isn't there way too much of this shiat? I haven't been really following the republican debates and cock-uses. I watched the first debate and I got the gist. They're all farking insane Bible thumpers and the ones who are halfway sane have no chance and really none of them have a chance. Is this something that requires so many debates and ralleys? Especially when it's just going to fark up my commute in August.
 
2012-01-07 01:37:37 PM
I am sincerely surprised that one of them hasn't dropped the n-bomb in public yet. I really think it'll happen, though. And the lulz that follows will be epic.
 
2012-01-07 01:49:43 PM

WTF Indeed: Newt Gingrich will summon all the hate and anger he has accrued over decades in politics and paint Romney as a super liberal with his own words. He will play the suicide bomber to Romney's bus tour.


oooo...I really want to see that.

If Gingrich can take down Romney then Santorum and Perry can take the nomination. And that, my friends, is a gotdamn gift to anyone who wants the GOP to fail this year.
 
2012-01-07 01:52:02 PM

WTF Indeed: Marcus Aurelius: You would think at some point the candidates would realize that these debates aren't exactly helping anyone except Obama.

See the problem with your theory is that you assume that debates are inherently negative. Debates are where a candidate expresses their view on a variety of issues in front of an audience of voters. It's not the debate's fault that the candidates are all functional retards.


Santorum isn't a retard. he's composed and aware but not sane by any stretch of the imagination. He really, honestly believes that turning the US into a theocracy is the best possible course to take. And that's what scares me.
 
2012-01-07 01:59:55 PM

Marcus Aurelius: You would think at some point the candidates would realize that these debates aren't exactly helping anyone except Obama.


Newt's the smart one. He knows that the debates are a farce, but he's just in it for the book sales, so he'll debate every night if he can.

Santorum is a True Believer®. It's beyond his comprehension that anyone might find his ideas offensive or ignorant.

RON PAUL is farking nuts and loves to hear himself talk. He's thrilled to have an audience.

Romney wants to be President SO FARKING MUCH!11!! that he's moved beyond the capacity for rational thought.
 
2012-01-07 02:14:09 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Santorum is a True Believer®. It's beyond his comprehension that anyone might find his ideas offensive or ignorant.


I think Santorum understands he has enemies...but I think he classifies them as either clueless minions of satan or daemonically possessed heretical apostates fit only for slave labor and eventual destruction.

i'm only slightly exaggerating. santorum got bit by the jesus bug in a big way.
 
2012-01-07 02:36:26 PM

WTF Indeed: Here's how it will go:

Romney makes measured, calculated statements that will not hurt him in New Hampshire or South Carolina.

Rick Santorum will blast his way into the coveted "Craziest Motherf*cker Left" spot until Perry gets back in South Carolina.

Newt Gingrich will summon all the hate and anger he has accrued over decades in politics and paint Romney as a super liberal with his own words. He will play the suicide bomber to Romney's bus tour.

Jon Huntsman will be intelligent, witty, thoughtful, and express a view of the country that shows he cares more about it's future than his own political present. Thus winning him the 1960 Republican Presidential Nomination.


Nah, Perry's toast. He'll drop out after South Carolina. I foresee the social conservatives coalescing around Santorum but eventually the nominee will be Romney.
 
2012-01-07 02:45:39 PM

eddyatwork: RON PAUL will win unless the media deliberately tries to crash and burn the guy which they undoubtedly will.


i.imgur.com

I can't believe I haven't brought this one out since 2008.
 
2012-01-07 02:49:09 PM
It's a Saturday night. And the Lions will be playing the Saints in New Orleans. Who exactly will be watching this thing?
 
2012-01-07 02:55:11 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Santorum is a True Believer®


i115.photobucket.com

What a True Believer® might look like.
 
2012-01-07 02:59:35 PM

coco ebert: Nah, Perry's toast. He'll drop out after South Carolina. I foresee the social conservatives coalescing around Santorum but eventually the nominee will be Romney.


No one knows that Santorum is Catholic and Italian, two things that Southern Evangelicals don't like. The reason he is appealing to the religious right is that he is strict Catholic, something that looks a lot like Evangelical, but he's still Catholic.
 
2012-01-07 03:01:32 PM

WTF Indeed: coco ebert: Nah, Perry's toast. He'll drop out after South Carolina. I foresee the social conservatives coalescing around Santorum but eventually the nominee will be Romney.

No one knows that Santorum is Catholic and Italian, two things that Southern Evangelicals don't like. The reason he is appealing to the religious right is that he is strict Catholic, something that looks a lot like Evangelical, but he's still Catholic.


I dunno. I think Perry had his momentum and is done. I think Santorum could still get Evangelical votes because he essentially holds the same positions as they do. I'm not so sure they vote solely based on denomination.
 
2012-01-07 03:57:29 PM

eddyatwork: RON PAUL will win unless the media deliberately tries to crash and burn the guy which they undoubtedly will.


i54.tinypic.com
 
2012-01-07 04:02:17 PM
You know, I was feeling very sorry for myself, because all of my friends are spending the evening enjoying the unseasonable weather with short skirts and alcoholic beverages, and I'll be stuck on the couch with Thereflu and a box of tissues, but this brightens up my day somewhat.
 
2012-01-07 04:32:01 PM

what_now: I'll be stuck on the couch with Thereflu and a box of tissues, but this brightens up my day somewhat.


If you can fit in some Nyquil too you'll be feeling oh so fine compared to any beverage your friends are enjoying. That might be be a good potion for Defense Against the Derp Arts too, come tonight.
 
2012-01-07 04:36:21 PM

coco ebert: I think Santorum could still get Evangelical votes because he essentially holds the same positions as they do. I'm not so sure they vote solely based on denomination.


This is the big question that isn't really being asked yet for the Southern primaries. Given that their effective choices may be between the Mormon and the Catholic, it might mitigate hostility towards Catholicism there. But Santorum is still a Northern Catholic--and Southern Protestants aren't all that keen on people who embrace celibacy and anti-f*cking as institutional positions.
 
2012-01-07 04:43:02 PM
Is there anything that the republicans candidates are going to say that they haven't said before?
 
2012-01-07 04:55:24 PM
So who will be in this one? Just five people, right? Romney, Santorum, Huntsman, Gingrich and Paul?
 
2012-01-07 05:04:21 PM

what_now: enjoying the unseasonable weather


We had a goddamn thunderstorm here a little bit ago, so I understand. Well, technically it was a thunderstorm, it just poured like it usually does in July and rumbled once or twice. It's farking January 7th, it shouldn't be raining like that.

The AO needs to flip back to that cold mode it was in the last two years. That was fun.
 
2012-01-07 05:42:51 PM
Expect the field to paint Romney as a 'awful' moderate -- which is a general election ploy aimed at 'independents.'
 
2012-01-07 06:00:59 PM

Mugato: Is there anything that the republicans candidates are going to say that they haven't said before?


Huntsman will say "Plenipotentiary." That hasn't been said before.
 
2012-01-07 06:16:56 PM

Weaver95: santorum got bit by the jesus bug in a big way.


Don't forget the Dead Baby Cult (new window)
 
2012-01-07 06:20:00 PM
Here's the streaming link for ease of use. (new window)

Santorum is polling at a slippery 8%
 
2012-01-07 06:24:29 PM

cretinbob: Here's the streaming link for ease of use. (new window)


Thank you, cretinbob.
 
2012-01-07 07:28:27 PM
Live, on stage, the candidates will execute an innocent poor black gay Muslim illegal immigrant woman.
 
2012-01-07 07:31:31 PM
Thank you, cretinbob.
 
2012-01-07 07:50:09 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-01-07 08:00:59 PM
TheOther, thanks for the Soap reference. Seems incredibly appropriate and funny.
 
2012-01-07 08:04:07 PM
i369.photobucket.com
 
2012-01-07 08:18:40 PM
Santorum is like the polar opposite of a qualified candidate.
 
2012-01-07 08:20:32 PM

cretinbob: Don't forget the Dead Baby Cult


People get really emotional over their dead children? Who knew?
 
2012-01-07 08:26:05 PM

Mugato: Santorum is like the polar opposite of a qualified candidate.


That guy is going to have the shelf life of a yellowfin tuna roll purchased at O'Hare airport.
 
2012-01-07 08:26:58 PM

Somacandra: cretinbob: Don't forget the Dead Baby Cult

People get really emotional over their dead children? Who knew?


Obviously.
 
2012-01-07 08:32:23 PM

Krymson Tyde: Are their drinking game rules?


1 shot per "Socialism"
 
2012-01-07 08:33:47 PM

AirForceVet: Obviously.


Having grieved a stillbirth myself, I just don't think its appropriate to make grieving and family rituals a political issue. His wife wrote a personal book about it, but its not like Rick's put Gabriel at center stage the way that Palin put Trig and her other kids there. Rick is an awful human being, but there's no need to mock existential agony--I pray no one here ever goes through that--but if someone did, I doubt they'd mock the Santorums the same way.
 
2012-01-07 08:33:57 PM
My favorite part is going to be when Newt gets cheap applause by attacking the moderator as part of the left-wing media for asking loaded gotcha questions.
 
2012-01-07 08:36:35 PM

Krymson Tyde: Are their drinking game rules?


Yes. Drink until you are too numb to the pain of the idea that one of these people could be president of the USA.
 
2012-01-07 08:37:48 PM

coco ebert: WTF Indeed: Here's how it will go:

Romney makes measured, calculated statements that will not hurt him in New Hampshire or South Carolina.

Rick Santorum will blast his way into the coveted "Craziest Motherf*cker Left" spot until Perry gets back in South Carolina.

Newt Gingrich will summon all the hate and anger he has accrued over decades in politics and paint Romney as a super liberal with his own words. He will play the suicide bomber to Romney's bus tour.

Jon Huntsman will be intelligent, witty, thoughtful, and express a view of the country that shows he cares more about it's future than his own political present. Thus winning him the 1960 Republican Presidential Nomination.

Nah, Perry's toast. He'll drop out after South Carolina. I foresee the social conservatives coalescing around Santorum but eventually the nominee will be Romney.


farm7.staticflickr.com
 
2012-01-07 08:38:43 PM

Notabunny: Krymson Tyde: Are their drinking game rules?

1 shot per "Socialism"


A swig per Reagan Card use.
 
2012-01-07 08:40:20 PM

Krymson Tyde: Are their drinking game rules?


Drink till you can't hear the tv anymore.
 
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