I quit reading as soon as I realized he was the pastor of Mars Hill. F*ck them, they don't get picketed enough.

I bet it was all missionary

At least it was with a woman. I half expected it to be about his gay encounters.

Id hate to go through life worrying about something as mundane as sex acts.

As a side note there is presently an ad for catholic match to the right...

Humb...

AbbeySomeone: I quit reading as soon as I realized he was the pastor of Mars Hill. F*ck them, they don't get picketed enough.

What's the deal with them?

/honestly curious

"And may the Holy Scepter enter the wife's darkness, and for the love of the existing children, not plant the seeds of Holiness inside, but onto her, as you can only grow as far as your garden reaches."

If he's causing sparks during sex, it's time to oil up the machine.

TheDirtyNacho: As a side note there is presently an ad for catholic match to the right...

Ad? Hah, ads.

Driscoll?

(clicks)

Yep

oh god, oh god, oh god.

Amen

wellreadneck: oh god, oh god, oh god.

Amen

Snort! Thanks for the laugh!

Mentat: So 12 chapters on missionary?

and then you get arrowed, boiled and eaten.

This guy is crazy. if God wanted us to have sex, he wouldn't have invented clothes.

So is Anal with the wife permissible according to the bible?
/Honestly asking someone that knows

Mentat: So 12 chapters on missionary?

Rusty Trombone? No. Dirty Sanchez? No. Cleveland Steamer? No.

/etc. etc.
//could easily fill 12 chapters

spicorama: So is Anal with the wife permissible according to the bible?
/Honestly asking someone that knows

Well... it never says no to doing that...

/Jesus said remarkably little about sex

spicorama: So is Anal with the wife permissible according to the bible?
/Honestly asking someone that knows

Preacher's kid here. I think it's ok, from a literalist standpoint. IIRC, lesbianism is not forbidden, either. Just male-male sodomy. And incest. And masturbat...wait. I think Onan's curse may apply to any non-reproductive use of semen. Well, there goes my secret formula for children's finger paint emulsifier...

shiat.

NeauxFear: I think Onan's curse may apply to any non-reproductive use of semen.

Or it could just apply to refusing to impregnate your brother's widow.

Also from Driscoll:

"...Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."

NeauxFear: Preacher's kid here. I think it's ok, from a literalist standpoint. IIRC, lesbianism is not forbidden, either. Just male-male sodomy. And incest. And masturbat...wait. I think Onan's curse may apply to any non-reproductive use of semen. Well, there goes my secret formula for children's finger paint emulsifier...

I was always taught that with masturbation the actual sin was lust, and according to Matthew 5:28, that's tantamount to adultery, so masturbation is a sin. This always lead to hypothetical discussions about whether or not it was possible to masturbate without sinning if you emptied your mind, and whether or not you were morally responsible if you had a really good dream.

There are few things as existentially depressing as the existence of "men's accountability groups," where one of the main priorities is to make sure that nobody is jacking off.

fta ...This is not just stuff that I have pulled out of my mind. These are issues I have dealt with for 15 years and it is battle tested.

Their sex life seems very fulfilling. "hey honey, when you get that spooge out of your eye will you make me a sandwich while I jot down some notes?"

feffer: Also from Driscoll:

"... if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."

or "Tebowing", as I like to call it.

feffer: Also from Driscoll:

"...Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."

So... every teenage boy in the country is gay?

feffer: Also from Driscoll:

"...Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."

Someone has put WAYYYYYY too much thought into his argument.

In the interest of balanced unbiased Farking,don't forget about the Islamic Sex Guides.

The Mufti Muzzler, The Jihardi Jisler, The Mohammed Mount (just for 13yrs and under), The Durper Durper,

The Turban Twister, The Muftis Moustacheo, and the Camel Humperdump. Rag Head.

For large crowds they even have group sex options Martyrs Missionary, Steel Ball Wedding Vest BDSM. Veiled MoMos Mufti Mole Hunt.

They go off with a real bang.

feffer: Also from Driscoll:

"...Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."

Marcus Bachmann?

Dalek Caan's doomed mistress: feffer: Also from Driscoll:

"...Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."

So... every teenage boy in the country is gay?

See? The gay liberal secularist agenda is working!

For those that are wondering, 1 Corinthians 6:12 reads, "'I have the right to do anything,' you say-but not everything is beneficial. 'I have the right to do anything'-but I will not be mastered by anything." Paul was answering the Corinthians who were saying that because Christ set them free from their sins, they were now free to sin as much as they like.

spicorama: So is Anal with the wife permissible according to the bible?
/Honestly asking someone that knows

What Marine1 said. Same goes for oral.

Oh, and might as well get this one out of the way:

"On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow, and he shall work in her, in and again, till she bring him to his fall, and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast."



"Whoa, good Bible."



"The special Hell."

Pocket Ninja: feffer: particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."

And if there's two mirrors, it's like you're participating in a gay orgy.

Fap.

tinfoil-hat maggie: Damn you CNN for not filling in the blanks.
/Inquiring minds want to know.

Snuggle....hug...hold hands....it's gotta be one of those!

feffer: Also from Driscoll:

"...Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."

That's a ridiculous interpretation.

tinfoil-hat maggie: But what if the man closes his eyes and thinks of England.
/Wait that's not how that's supposed to go ; )

ROFL!

Came for our Mrs. Reynolds. Leaving very, VERY satisfied...

feffer: "...Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."

Well sh*t. I'm out.

AbbeySomeone: I quit reading as soon as I realized he was the pastor of Mars Hill. F*ck them, they don't get picketed enough.

Trying to decide which megachurch is more annoying: Mars Hill for the members who worked to shut down Atheists at Microsoft, or Timberlake, who sends me junk mail three or four times a week.

12349876: NeauxFear: I think Onan's curse may apply to any non-reproductive use of semen.

Or it could just apply to refusing to impregnate your brother's widow.

Think about it this way:

If it would have caused instability in Biblical-era Israel, it's probably forbidden by the Old Testament. The New Testament (at least in Jesusist Christianity) is pretty thin and clear on what's allowed or not. Pauline Christianity (what Catholicism and most of Protestantism is based off of) is more murky.

What people don't realize about the Bible (not just the Bible either, this goes for a lot of religious texts) is that they weren't just there to make you feel miserable and guilty. Reproduction and lineage were essential in Israelite society. In an era where not an insignificant number of children died before reproductive maturity, keeping up the population was incredibly important. This is why you see commands to "be fruitful" in Genesis and laws that denied a man from finding sexual fulfillment without a woman that he could possibly impregnate. Monogamy laws were important because land was passed down nearly exclusively through the family. If a son's legitimacy was challenged, so was the family's shelter and way of eating.

If we suddenly had a spike of infant mortality and deaths of young men in our society, you'd probably see laws put in place requiring men to have children and take multiple mates. That's more or less what the Old Testament demands, because that was the needed culture for that society to survive. We still see the inheritance battles going on today with occasional (but often infrequent) squabbles over inherited property in mixed families. It's not a problem like it would have been then, though.

NeauxFear: spicorama: So is Anal with the wife permissible according to the bible?
/Honestly asking someone that knows

Preacher's kid here. I think it's ok, from a literalist standpoint. IIRC, lesbianism is not forbidden, either. Just male-male sodomy. And incest. And masturbat...wait. I think Onan's curse may apply to any non-reproductive use of semen. Well, there goes my secret formula for children's finger paint emulsifier...

shiat.

Lot and his daughters would like to have a word with you.

tinfoil-hat maggie: Well thank the Goddess I'm no christen then ; )
Or are those euphemisms for something else?
/Just recently found out what Santorum was.

Heh, yes indeed ;-)
/they could be if you'd want... :P
//ditto on the discovery