They don't know who he is and he got away on a bicycle. I'd say he recovered OK.

Can someone s'plain this story so it's intelligible?

did they have a first graders, wack wack on a keyboard for that garbage? must be british writing as well as stupidity.

story sounds just like an episode of World's Dummest on TruTV

Pegged it? Is that even English?

MelGoesOnTour: Can someone s'plain this story so it's intelligible?

Top hole. Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie. I could've had it away with this cracking Julie, my old China. Are you telling pork-pies and a bag of trout? Because if you are feeling quigly, why not just have a J. Arthur? What, billy no mates? Don't you remember the crimbo din-din we had with the grotty Scots bint? Oh, the one that was all sixes and sevens! eah, yeah, she was the trouble and strife of the Morris dancer what lived up the apples and pears! She was the barrister what become a bobby in a lorry and...--tea kettle! And then, and then-- She shat on a turtle!

Smashing, I say, pip pip cheerio eh what?!