When I need a good colon cleanse, I eat a lot of apple.

The poop stories are more entertaining than the article. Heres my favorite:

Embarrassing confession: a few years ago, I bought some laxatives to take with me on a trip to Thailand (along with Immodium for a more likely ailment). The day before my flight, I decided to test it out to see how I reacted to it. The box said it would work in 4-8 hours. Apparently, my digestive system is superslow because 12 hours later, nothing had happened. In the airport however (almost 16 hours after ingestion), I went into labor with a poop baby. Luckily, not many other passengers were at the terminal as early as I was so I mostly got to explosively poop in peace. I ended up not needing the laxatives nor the immodium on my trip.

It was winkin' with one eye, The big brown eye,. (new window)

An oldie -- but a funny song that applies here nicely.



There I was with my old man,
No smoochin' again, the same old plan.
We both start watchin' the TV,
No possibilities of gettin' what I need.
He looked at me and he smiled,
And said, "Now, now, now-now turn around child.

You see we're doin' it doggystyle,
Ass in the air up nice and high.
That dog is a horny guy,
Although she has to try.
She crouched face down,
In the warm goose down.
It was winkin' with one eye,
The big brown eye,
Doin' it doggystyle.

When you stumbled upon my secret place,
I rose from my knees, I had fear on my face.
We both have different desires,
He likes the Rangers, I root for the Flyers.
But the Rangers had come from behind,
And the hockey game was tied.

We see the whole game doggystyle,
Ass in the air up nice and high.
That dog is a horny guy,
Although she has to lie.
She crouched face down,
In the warm goose down.
It was winkin' with one eye,
The big brown eye.
The big brown eye.

Doin' it doggystyle

Oo-ooh-ooo-oo-..

What's in the boooooox?!

Link (new window)

She should hurry up and start her porn career before she gets too old.

I'd clean the hell out of her colon.

If you know what I mean. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

(with my penis)

Did anyone else notice "Clear 1: Probiotic anti-microbial".

WTF. That's like going on oxygen therapy and taking anti-oxidants at the same time. Its a farking oxymoron.

I'm glad she found a way to make a living, her kids can eat now.

Santorum.

What happened to her career? At the end of the 1990s it seemed like she was one of the biggest players in Hollywood -- not only young and hot, but also fairly talented (e.g. The Talented Mr. Ripley, Shakespeare in Love, Seven, etc.). Now she's playing supporting characters in B action movies.

Is this stuff the reason why she looked like she aged 5-7 years (or 10 compared to some actresses) between the two Iron Man flicks?

/Surprised to see the hottie from the first look so worn out, tired and old(er) in the second.

EponymousCowHerd: Did anyone else notice "Clear 1: Probiotic anti-microbial".

WTF. That's like going on oxygen therapy and taking anti-oxidants at the same time. Its a farking oxymoron.

Came here to post this.

\still confused

Your colon can clean itself, just fine. No need for overpriced goop.

Sure she may have a clean colon, but this does nothing for her giant, bulbous, stanky, pulpy hemorhoids, bleeding all down her leg and leaving droplets of her ass upon every street she graces.

Look at this stuff. Look how it makes you poo. Oh, what a thing to do.

Lord Snoopy's G.P.E.H.: Look at this stuff. Look how it makes you poo. Oh, what a thing to do.

And it was all yellowwwwwwww

AdolfOliverPanties: Iron Man 3?

She must be from THE FUTURE!

whatshisname: Your colon can clean itself, just fine. No need for overpriced goop.

This

"Cleanse" is a good indicator word. It's like typing in all caps - shorthand for "I'm a moron."

jiminy christmas. eat some coleslaw once a week. you'll be fine.




i would ride that ass so hard she'd walk funny for a month. yes i would.

My favorite glamour shot of Gwyneth:



/I'm a sick, sick, sick person

looks good cumming and going... seeing that its all been cleansed, I would eat that ass till I found some corn.

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: Is this stuff the reason why she looked like she aged 5-7 years (or 10 compared to some actresses) between the two Iron Man flicks?

/Surprised to see the hottie from the first look so worn out, tired and old(er) in the second.


I didn't even recognize her in the first film - I just couldn't get enough of those legs!

/Maybe she just looked old compared to Scarlet in leather...

Omahawg: i would ride that ass so hard she'd walk funny for a month. yes i would.

really? i think i'd embarrass myself in the first 15 seconds

This woman was sex on wheels as Pepper Potts, hell she was even a hot freak in The Royal Tennenbaums. But she is a huge pain in the ass in real life. Has anyone SEEN her website? She's got boatloads of money to blow on every ridiculous lifestyle-marketed bullshiat woo woo thing on the planet, so you should do just what she's doing!

The fact that she's now straight-up making money off of this ass-hattery really should surprise me less than it does.

Goddamnitsomuch. I farking hate cleanses and the people who take interest in them. Most strip your body of vital probiotics, leaving you constipated, gassy and worse off than before. Can't speak for her product, but since her name is associated with it, I'll assume it's crap.

/it only makes you loose poop-weight.

rocinante721:

Good lord, that made me laugh.

theorellior: People who are overconcerned about pooping need to go have a chat with a friendly counselor. I'm all for dropping a hearty deuce, but obsessing on colonics and cleansing is a little off.

Go on...