FARK.com: (6862022) "Losing all my teeth has been a Godsend, I can tell you. And if someone has a foot fetish, but also likes breasts, in my case they're in the same general area"

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(Some Guy)		"Losing all my teeth has been a Godsend, I can tell you. And if someone has a foot fetish, but also likes breasts, in my case they're in the same general area" (bisserjeta.hsara.com)		92
		More: Cool, Malta

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20126 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2012 at 9:16 PM | Favorite | share:

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92 Comments (+0 »)

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FirstNationalBastard

2012-01-05 05:47:30 PM

I...I...

/You'd hit it just to say you did. And just think of the story if you were the one who literally farked her to death.

robmilmel

2012-01-05 05:51:56 PM

FirstNationalBastard: /You'd hit it just to say you did.

Being more than a century old certainly hasn't diminished her creativity either. "I can do more things with a tire-swing and a rolling pin than you could ever possibly imagine."

Sort of want...

Because People in power are Stupid

2012-01-05 05:52:19 PM

Look everyone, it's your mom.

MorrisBird

2012-01-05 05:58:42 PM

I love her.

Chariset

2012-01-05 05:59:14 PM

She pays you for the sex, right?

MaudlinMutantMollusk

2012-01-05 06:02:18 PM

Damnit! Grandma slipped her leash again

Relatively Obscure

2012-01-05 06:03:27 PM

I'm tentatively calling Fake.

inkblot

2012-01-05 06:11:31 PM

http://bisserjeta.hsara.com/2011/12/rapistpaedophileanimal-torturernec rophiliac-gets-20-years-for-marijuana/

http://bisserjeta.hsara.com/2011/12/tom-cruise-moves-into-presidents- p alace-converts-him-to-scientology/

This article seems totally legit.

MaxxLarge

2012-01-05 06:18:15 PM

FTA: "Some historian say the invasion of Sicily might not have succeeded had the entire British 51st infantry division not spent a moral-boosting night with me before they shipped out."

Ironic typo alert.

Lord Jubjub

2012-01-05 06:21:42 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Look everyone, it's your mom.

Great-grandmom is more like it.

Relatively Obscure: I'm tentatively calling Fake.

Yeah, it sounds a little too good.

GAT_00

2012-01-05 06:29:21 PM

robmilmel: FirstNationalBastard: /You'd hit it just to say you did.

Being more than a century old certainly hasn't diminished her creativity either. "I can do more things with a tire-swing and a rolling pin than you could ever possibly imagine."

Sort of want...

You want to be shoved in a tire swing and pegged with a rolling pin?

robmilmel

2012-01-05 06:30:43 PM

GAT_00: You want to be shoved in a tire swing and pegged with a rolling pin?

Well, it was a childhood pipe dream...

BunkyBrewman

2012-01-05 06:40:35 PM

We're all being trolled.

FloydA

2012-01-05 06:56:41 PM

Doris says she has been in the world's oldest profession ever since she can remember.

Ever since lunch.

Bagelox-99

2012-01-05 07:33:18 PM

The source site is apparently the Maltese Onion.

/mmm, sounds delicious

Ed Finnerty

2012-01-05 08:12:47 PM

That must be one tired vagoo.

AbbeySomeone

2012-01-05 08:55:18 PM

MorrisBird: I love her.

Me too. I'd love to have cocktails with her. I'll buy just for the privilege of hanging out with her.

Norv Turner

2012-01-05 09:21:37 PM

Rex Ryan?????

Sorry if it was already covered

johnnieconnie

2012-01-05 09:21:59 PM

Relatively Obscure: I'm tentatively calling Fake.

BunkyBrewman: We're all being trolled.

This

/shakes fist at subby's headline

LesserEvil

2012-01-05 09:22:00 PM

BunkyBrewman: We're all being trolled.

DING!

jonschneider.com

SomebodyElsesShoes

2012-01-05 09:24:00 PM

Bagelox-99: The source site is apparently the Maltese Onion.

/mmm, sounds delicious

Now that's the stuff dreams that make you cry are made of.

brigid

2012-01-05 09:27:22 PM

Dang, trolled by a Maltese granny. I'd hit it just to say thanks for the giggle.

MusicMakeMyHeadPound

2012-01-05 09:28:11 PM

Relatively Obscure: I'm tentatively calling Fake.

Totally. Still laughed my ass off though.

ThrobblefootSpectre

2012-01-05 09:28:12 PM

"Some historian say the invasion of Sicily might not have succeeded had the entire British 51st infantry division not spent a moral-boosting night with me before they shipped out."

"For men who are almost into necrophilia but not quite" say her ads on Maltapark. "

Lol. She sounds like she'd be fun to talk to over a beer.

bim1154

2012-01-05 09:28:20 PM

Holy mother of what ever god... I was not expecting that, fake or now.

troubled adult

2012-01-05 09:28:21 PM

I'd hit it, but I don't have enough spit.

MrSid

2012-01-05 09:28:36 PM

She was something in her heyday, this remind my of a joke my gramps told me when I was a kid.

Two Englishmen struck up a conversation with an American in the club
car of a train headed east out of Chicago.
"I say," queried the younger Englishman, "have you ever been to
London?"
The American laughed. "It was my home for two years during the war,"
he said. "Had some of the wildest times of my life in that old town."
The older Englishman, a little hard of hearing, asked, "What did
he say, Reggie?"
"He said he's been to London, father," the younger Englishman
replied.
After a little lull in the conversation, the young man asked, "You
didn't, by any chance, meet a Hazel Wimbleton in London, did you?"
The American almost fell off his chair. "Hot Pants Hazel!" he
exclaimed. "My God, I shacked up with that horny broad for three months
just before I came back to the States!"
"What did he say, Reggie?" the older Englishman wanted to know.
"He says he knows Mother," the younger Englishman responded.

DeathByGeekSquad

2012-01-05 09:28:49 PM

But doesn't he get bored of shoup?

/needs trollbone teeth

Bindyree

2012-01-05 09:31:51 PM

Oh, now now, I came here looking for a picture of Eric Christmas.

Step it up, folks. :)

gravebayne2

2012-01-05 09:32:38 PM

fake? most likely. got some good laughs at least.

NightOwl2255

2012-01-05 09:32:39 PM

She's real! I did her her once. After it was over, she said "I should pay you"!

/Not sure she really meant it.

Somaticasual

2012-01-05 09:33:19 PM

Well, it's a wordpress blog, so we can only guess MySQL. Any bets on how quick the traffic takes it down?

UsikFark

2012-01-05 09:34:58 PM

I'm not sure an interview can contain that much double entendre without being fake. If she's real, good for her.

skinink

2012-01-05 09:36:25 PM

This is about as real as Newt Gingrich having a shot at being President.

Somaticasual

2012-01-05 09:38:38 PM

From their other articles:
"Rapist/paedophile/animal torturer/necrophiliac gets 20 years for marijuana"

I know it's parody, but that one still wouldn't surprise me..

Driver

2012-01-05 09:38:39 PM

What a 100 year old hooker's favorite feminine hygiene product may look like:

s7d4.scene7.com

Isildur

2012-01-05 09:39:47 PM

MaxxLarge: FTA: "Some historian say the invasion of Sicily might not have succeeded had the entire British 51st infantry division not spent a moral-boosting night with me before they shipped out."

Ironic typo alert.

Heh, I came here to note that.

FunkOut

2012-01-05 09:42:05 PM

BunkyBrewman: We're all being trolled.

Hey now, the old girl's not that ugly.

Kurmudgeon

2012-01-05 09:42:19 PM

Ed Finnerty: That must be one tired vagoo.

It's all wrinkly anyway.

SBinRR

2012-01-05 09:46:50 PM

I was going to say this article smells like European Onions, but I see that has been addressed.

AwesomeFace

2012-01-05 09:47:12 PM

I'd hit it.

mavexe

2012-01-05 09:50:47 PM

johnnieconnie: Relatively Obscure: I'm tentatively calling Fake.

BunkyBrewman: We're all being trolled.

This

/shakes fist at subby's headline

Sorry. It's real. I couldn't believe it myself either.

Fish in a Barrel

2012-01-05 09:52:05 PM

That gave my creeps the shudders.

the_chief

2012-01-05 09:54:26 PM

Can't be real.

mavexe

2012-01-05 09:56:05 PM

mavexe: johnnieconnie: Relatively Obscure: I'm tentatively calling Fake.

BunkyBrewman: We're all being trolled.

This

/shakes fist at subby's headline

Sorry. It's real. I couldn't believe it myself either.

On second pass, I see you're talking about the authenticity of the article, not the accuracy of the headline....in that case...yeah, it's most likely fabricated

iheartscotch

2012-01-05 09:56:59 PM

FloydA: Doris says she has been in the world's oldest profession ever since she can remember.

Ever since lunch.

Ok; that was funny; I would prefer an exit row.

/ I LOL'd
// would you like to go for another, sonny? That depends

wambu

2012-01-05 09:58:08 PM

NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

DerechoSCK

2012-01-05 09:59:05 PM