I know a dude who's a 9/11 Truther.

I put LSD in my own water.

Step-grandfather was watching Ancient Aliens and "Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura" on New Year's Day. The conspiracy theory episode was about HAARP, and we were all making fun of it, when suddenly my stepfather pipes up with "You know what's next, they're going to add border checkpoints between every state." Couldn't get out of there fast enough, luckily had a flight as an excuse.

Unfortunately yes. He really was paranoid, as in ill. He was booted out of the workplace but
eventually came back. He must have worked out an agreement with HR to stay on his meds.
He's a nice guy, shame to see it.

My cousin believes in having as many children as she possibly can in order to populate the world with more Christians.
She believes there is a cure for AIDS and that only super rich people like Magic Johnson have access to it.
She's paranoid about vegetable oil for reasons I don't completely understand.

My grandmother thinks FedEx is out to get her. No joke. DIT upon request.

Diogenes: My grandmother thinks FedEx is out to get her. No joke. DIT upon request.

DIT!

Diogenes: My grandmother thinks FedEx is out to get her. No joke. DIT upon request.

requested.


I had an old cow-orker who was a 9/11 truther. sometimes I would get him riled up about it if I was bored.

"Hey, Jenkins, any more news about the 9/11 conspiracy?"

"Nah, man, they destroyed all the evidence and took the black boxes."

"But...I thought you said there were no planes actually involved...that it was holograms.."

"Yeah it was. But they planted the boxes still. You know, to make it seem like real planes."

Rev. Skarekroe:
She believes there is a cure for AIDS and that only super rich people like Magic Johnson have access to it.


This is actually true

Why do you want to know?

/I can't drive the same route twice in a row or I start getting upset that people are watching me and following me. I get really anxious and upset. I have to at least pull into a gas station, or driveway, or do something, no matter how small, to change it up.

There used to be a guy in the office that thought the Gov't in the building was sending de-oxygenated air into the vents to make the developers sleepy. He brought in a carbon monoxide monitor to test and would get very angry when it came up normal. He also thought that the head of base security was out to get him because the head of security was secretly in cahoots with his ex wife.

/So glad he's gone

Rev. Skarekroe: She believes there is a cure for AIDS and that only super rich people like Magic Johnson have access to it.

I have heard this one before. I just do not get it. Why would the Government/Big Pharma keep this disease going if there was a cure? Big Pharma stands to make billions upon billions of dollars should something like this be discovered. Why would a for profit company/industry keep that under wraps?

Rev. Skarekroe: She's paranoid about vegetable oil for reasons I don't completely understand.

Umm...what? Please explain.

Endive Wombat: Rev. Skarekroe: She believes there is a cure for AIDS and that only super rich people like Magic Johnson have access to it.

I have heard this one before. I just do not get it. Why would the Government/Big Pharma keep this disease going if there was a cure? Big Pharma stands to make billions upon billions of dollars should something like this be discovered. Why would a for profit company/industry keep that under wraps?


The majority of AIDS patients are in poor countries that can't afford the drugs at full price.

I worked with someone who thought diabetes was a virus the government made to hurt black people. THANKFULLY one of the other persons of color heard this and told her she was an idiot.

/one of those situations where I could say absolutely nothing that wouldn't validate her suspicions
//white

Endive Wombat: Rev. Skarekroe: She's paranoid about vegetable oil for reasons I don't completely understand.

Umm...what? Please explain.

I can't. When I saw her weird FB post I just moved on rather than attempt to absorb the information. I suppose I could google it, but meh.

MNguy: The majority of AIDS patients are in poor countries that can't afford the drugs at full price.

Not the same thing as a cure, though.

I have a good friend that believes in chem trails, etc... He's Jewish, so I am not sure his angel with his beliefs. And my Dad apparently thinks the show Ancient Aliens makes perfect sense.

Nope, just me theory that something fishy is going on with the production of chickens. The numbers just do not add up.

Mr. Murder: I have a good friend that believes in chem trails, etc... He's Jewish, so I am not sure his angel with his beliefs. And my Dad apparently thinks the show Ancient Aliens makes perfect sense.

Interesting autocorrect there.

A friend's coworker can't listen to any of the conservative talk radio because they're "too liberal."

He can't watch the new Doctor Who series because it is "too diverse."

The Indian restaurant across the street was staffed by "al Qaeda terrorists" and he refused to go to lunch with the rest of the staff.

I'm beginning to think there are only two people on Fark who aren't alts. Does that count for anything?

My aunt has a neighbour named Ziggy, who thinks the contrails the jets trail behind them is the Americans spreading mind control drugs over the world.

The Slush: Diogenes: My grandmother thinks FedEx is out to get her. No joke. DIT upon request.

DIT!

Just got off the phone with Mom talking about this.

For the past two years mom has sent gram gas cards for her birthday. They get delivered by FedEx. Last year she wasn't there to sign so she had to go to their office, which was a tragedy of high order.

Fast forward to this year.

Mom sent cards again. Gram got an automated call yesterday from FedEx saying she had a package that would be delivered today. She said she didn't have a pen to write down the tracking number (not that it would matter much, she doesn't have a computer). Apparently (and remember I'm retelling this through her filter) there were a number of ring menu options and she got trapped in a loop. She tried calling back and claims this time it said "hit any key to speak to a representative." She did, and it hung up on her.

I'm still at work and I get the call.

"What should I do? How could they do this to me? It's not right! Is the delivery going to be cancelled again? I can't handle this. I can't go back there like last time."

"Gram, ever hear the phrase 'don't sweat the small stuff'?"

"Don't get sarcastic with me. This messes up all my plans. I do my grocery shopping at 9. Do you think they'll be here before then?"

"How would I know? Can't you do your shopping after they come, or tomorrow?"

"I hate when things mess with my plans. How could they do this to me?!"

Mom had to deal with the same call last night. When she asked that last question to mom, she said, "Because they know it's you." Gram was unamused.

So much trauma! And she's getting $200 bucks in gas! How truly awful.

And it's getting to be this way with everything. And this is just the small stuff. I shudder to think of what it'll be like for the big stuff. She's a very healthy (physically, at least) 83 year old.

George Bush's weather machine created Hurricane Katrina so no one would notice Obama using his time machine to go back and fake his birth certificate.

That's why I only drink grain alcohol and rain water.

I'm beginning to think there are only two people on Fark who aren't alts. Does that count for anything?

Rev. Skarekroe:

MNguy: The majority of AIDS patients are in poor countries that can't afford the drugs at full price.

Not the same thing as a cure, though.

Magic had AIDS and now he does not. Should we say remission instead?

My brother was convinced that his childhood dentist had placed tracking devices in his fillings and once called our mother to demand she give him the guy's name.

Rev. Skarekroe: My cousin believes in having as many children as she possibly can in order to populate the world with more Christians.
She believes there is a cure for AIDS and that only super rich people like Magic Johnson have access to it.
She's paranoid about vegetable oil for reasons I don't completely understand.

Squeeze a vegetable. Does oil come out? NO!

Aliens.

ToxicMunkee: Squeeze a vegetable. Does oil come out? NO!

Aliens.

MNguy: Magic had AIDS and now he does not. Should we say remission instead?

He never had full blown AIDS (I don't think - feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). He's HIV positive. Current drugs do a very good job of not turning HIV into full blown AIDS. This is not the same thing as a secret cure that is accessible only to the elite (though its true that these drugs aren't particularly available in third world countries).

Of course I'm paranoid. Everyone is trying to kill me.

RexTalionis: Of course I'm paranoid. Everyone is trying to kill me.

Nice shirt you're wearing today, by the way. Can you walk back past that window? No, the one on your left.

The Slush: The conspiracy theory episode was about HAARP

I love that episode!

Ventura: "LET ME IN YOUR FACILITY!"

PR Dude: "I'm sorry, sir, but our facility is closed to the public. We do, however, have two open houses during the year. If you come back then I'll gladly show you and your crew around."

Ventura: "I'M A NAVY SEAL! LET ME IN BECAUSE I'M A NAVY SEAL!"

Rev. Skarekroe: MNguy: Magic had AIDS and now he does not. Should we say remission instead?

He never had full blown AIDS (I don't think - feel free to correct me if I'm wrong).

AIDS and HIV are only differences in healthy white-cell count, at one point he was low enough to have AIDS.

Yes. I know one that believes in aliens & ghosts, and thinks the government is watching us all the time. I know another that believes all of that, was a truther, and is an idiot in general. Oh, and my father was a Birther, and is a Freeper.

My cousin - where do I start?

- fluoride in drinking water - gov't conspiracy
- the gov't is going to take away my guns and ammo
- crude oil is generated deep in the earth's mantle (e.g., not a fossil product) and is essentially an inexhaustible material (not sure which conspiracy this falls under, but he found it somewhere online).

...we all agree that one night we're going to see him on the six o'clock news.

Yes. and its pretty simple why they are the way they are.

They are usually people who are not entirely stupid, but also not very smart.

They desperately want to be smart or to be known as being smart but they do not have the ability or the intelligence to grasp actual concepts that normally intelligent people get.

Instead they cling to these easy to understand "conspiracy theories" so that they feel that they know something other "normal" people dont. To them they know something that makes them feel smart or special, even though its something obviously stupid such as the way the Muslims are going to take over the Whitehouse with their Over-unity generators and 200mpg HHO converted cars.

I know a few guys like that and while they are nice people, they are as gullible as a 3 year old even though they are supposedly "aware of the truth".

It makes me sad most of the time because they get taken advantage of all the time by people like Bedini and other grifters like him.

I'm Canadian. The only shenanigans our government are up to are hookers and blow for the MPs Christmas party.

You people are stupid and should feel bad.

I knew a girl in high school who thought the government created AIDS to kill black people and gay people.

And then there's alllllllllll the people who think pharma companies can cure cancer but don't want to because there's more money in cancer treatments. Which I think is BS, because the people studying this sh*t are mostly working on grants from the government, and would go down in history books if they figured out a way to cure it.

I'm trying to think of what else...... lots of 9/11 truthers, but no one really passionate about it. Just people that are like, "yeah, I could see that happening."

Also, some of these people actually have mental problems or possibly a tumor in their brain. Many times they have been exposed to large amounts of lead or PCBs.

CoolBeans: - crude oil is generated deep in the earth's mantle (e.g., not a fossil product) and is essentially an inexhaustible material (not sure which conspiracy this falls under, but he found it somewhere online).

Yeah, that one's popular amongst right wingers who refuse to believe that oil is a finite resource out of pure spite for "liberals" (which is to say, anyone slightly to the left of Rush Limbaugh).

My wife's ex, who I hung out with because he gave me weed, told me once about how Asian people are descended from Aliens. That's why they have eyes like that.

I have an uncle who firmly believes Ronny Milsap isn't really blind and that he's just pretending for sympathy.

homeschooled: I knew a girl in high school who thought the government created AIDS to kill black people and gay people.

I think the British government wanted to get rid of the black people in Johannesburg and screwed up when they made their little concoction. Because how does such a super disease appear out of nowhere?

Incidentally, I used to be extremely paranoid as a young kid (started when I was 10 or so). There was the summer where I was so paranoid of disease, I started washing my hands with bleach, burning the hell out of my skin in the process. I eventually switched to rubbing alcohol and have finally gotten to the point of merely washing my hands with soap and water a lot after about 15 years.

What really exacerbated my paranoia was that when I get paranoid about disease, I start reading medical diagnostic manuals and medical encyclopedias (this was when I was 13 or so), which fed my paranoia even more.

I still get paranoid episodes, but I'm also smart enough to realize that it's irrational, which helps me ignore it.