FARK.com: (6861025) Frustrated that Pat Robertson won't spill the beans on Fartbongo's re-election chances? Get yourself a Warlock. Apparently the Mexican ones work best

		Frustrated that Pat Robertson won't spill the beans on Fartbongo's re-election chances? Get yourself a Warlock. Apparently the Mexican ones work best (huffingtonpost.com)		21
		More: Cool, President Obama, Antonio Vasquez, Pat Robertson, Fartbongo, Mexican

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1293 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Jan 2012 at 12:16 PM | Favorite | share:

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21 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

give me doughnuts

2012-01-05 09:53:26 AM

They do the necromancy jobs that Americans won't do, and for less money.

/dey terk er jerbs!

Because People in power are Stupid

2012-01-05 09:54:14 AM

Republicans (new window) best loved warlock
mycomrade.com

Diogenes

2012-01-05 09:57:22 AM

Humean_Nature

2012-01-05 10:01:46 AM

I f*cking love it when crackpot psychics make public predictions.

/bookmark for later

Mr. Coffee Nerves

2012-01-05 10:17:34 AM

How long until he goes on TV and says "well, I *can* tell you, but only if you become a Double Super Jesus Pal Contributor, which works out to just $8.21 per day, which is much cheaper than begging Satan's demons to not put you in the Fiery Spiked Penis Suite on the shores of Lake Boiling Hobo Semen, where the Engelbert Humperdink concert NEVER ENDS. Credit cards are accepted, of course."

Sybarite

2012-01-05 10:29:17 AM

I find the German models are better engineered.

www.metal-archives.com

Jake Havechek

2012-01-05 12:24:23 PM

Evan: It's not just making them smaller. They completely reshaped them. They make them more supple, symmetrical.

Seth: I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move.

Parthenogenetic

2012-01-05 12:31:39 PM

Waaaaait a second...

FTA: Mexican warlock Antonio Vasquez, the so-called "Great Wizard", says a 2012 victory isn't in the cards for Barack Obama.

Warlocks draw their powers from Satan. So does Obama.

Mexicans are evil. So is Obama.

So, why would a self-admitted minion of evil predict that his co-worker Obama will not win the election, which is the outcome desired by the forces of good?

It doesn't make sense, unless... this is double reverse psychology! The forces of evil are trying to lull us into complacency! "That warlock dude says Obama has no chance, so I'm not going to bother going to vote."

Don't be fooled!

Stabmastaarson

2012-01-05 12:54:22 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: How long until he goes on TV and says "well, I *can* tell you, but only if you become a Double Super Jesus Pal Contributor, which works out to just $8.21 per day, which is much cheaper than begging Satan's demons to not put you in the Fiery Spiked Penis Suite on the shores of Lake Boiling Hobo Semen, where the Engelbert Humperdink concert NEVER ENDS. Credit cards are accepted, of course."

Double Super Jesus Pal Contributor FTW. You sir, are spot on.

wildcardjack

2012-01-05 01:09:13 PM

I was expecting a Charlie Sheen (Carlos Irwin Estevez) reference.

Rent is too damn high

2012-01-05 01:37:31 PM

Now they're taking our wizardry jobs too? farking Mexicans!

give me doughnuts

2012-01-05 01:42:17 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: How long until he goes on TV and says "well, I *can* tell you, but only if you become a Double Super Jesus Pal Contributor, which works out to just $8.21 per day, which is much cheaper than begging Satan's demons to not put you in the Fiery Spiked Penis Suite on the shores of Lake Boiling Hobo Semen, where the Engelbert Humperdink concert NEVER ENDS. Credit cards are accepted, of course."

"Boiling Hobo Semen" is the name of my new Death-Metal Band.

Ed Willy

2012-01-05 01:43:57 PM

As God's revelation to Pat Robertson has not caused his eyes to bleed, his teeth to gnash, him to rend his garments and put on sackcloth, him to cover himself in ash or to cause the lamentations of his women, I think we can safely assume an Obama victory is imminent.

Slaves2Darkness

2012-01-05 02:11:38 PM

I prefer ancient Chinese warlocks, he only required payment in girls with green eyes, so I sold him my sister.

Hilarity_N_Sues

2012-01-05 02:18:14 PM

This thread needs more Doro.

MsStatement

2012-01-05 03:07:09 PM

Hey subby, I don't practice Santeria, and I ain't got no crystal ball.

/never had a million dollars, either

CorporatePerson

2012-01-05 06:22:37 PM

Last time I heard anything from Pat, he was saying today's Republicans are too extreme to be elected in 2012.

rmz

2012-01-05 06:54:42 PM

Sybarite: I find the German models are better engineered.

[www.metal-archives.com image 492x600]

That is a woman in the middle...

...right?

Gyrfalcon

2012-01-05 07:54:04 PM

I don't trust brujos, they're too sketchy unless they still use human hearts in their casting.

Give me a houngan and a dead chicken every time. What does Baron Samedi have to say on the matter?

CygnusDarius

2012-01-05 08:29:20 PM

Parthenogenetic: Waaaaait a second...

FTA: Mexican warlock Antonio Vasquez, the so-called "Great Wizard", says a 2012 victory isn't in the cards for Barack Obama.

Warlocks draw their powers from Satan. So does Obama.

Mexicans are evil. So is Obama.

So, why would a self-admitted minion of evil predict that his co-worker Obama will not win the election, which is the outcome desired by the forces of good?

Wait. I'm Mexican, so that means I'm evil?.

This explains my secret lair, the SS-like minions (they're loyal because they get free internet and drinks), and my troupe of sexy female assassins.

pheed

2012-01-06 06:36:54 AM

What a Mexican warlock might look like. Yeah, I know he's Puerto Rican.

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