mitchcumstein1: Said it in the redlit thread, he's a fool. He can have sex with any woman he wants, this is never going to work.

Still, it has to work better than a George Clooney/Stacy Keibler marriage.

Hypothetically speaking, naturally.

Beerguy: he is taping THAT ass

Scotch, Duct, electrical, or surgical?

Beerguy: GAT_00: Beerguy: he is taping THAT ass

Scotch, Duct, electrical, or surgical?

Oh, fark....how will I ever go on? I have committed an egregious spelling error on the internet. I have shamed my family as well as myself.

I know, I will drown my sorrows in liquor in an attempt to expunge this incident from my memory.

Ah, the butthurt snarker: fine with their own, but get all kinds of pissed off when any is leveled at them.

Its funny to see the hate in here. Like any of us had a chance at getting her. Dream on...

So does this mean that Mila Kunis is single again?

So a barely closeted homosexual is about to marry an obvious trannie. Just another day in Hollyweird.

Clooney laughs.

There's been gossip about how this engagement was arranged by their managers/publicists. Lots of good publicity for them now, and they'll quietly end their engagement by the end of 2012.

Will her new name be Jessica Biel-Beard?

BarbadoSlim: So a barely closeted homosexual is about to marry an obvious trannie. Just another day in Hollyweird.

Thissssss guy! We all love this guys!

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener

Still, it has to work better than a George Clooney/Stacy Keibler marriage.


Well, of course - where would they live? In her tree with the other elves? That would just be weird.

Good for the both of them. Two beautiful people who deserve to sex eachother. Cheers.

BarbadoSlim: So a barely closeted homosexual is about to marry an obvious trannie. Just another day in Hollyweird.

You don't sound bitter at all.

Why Would I Read the Article: So does this mean that Mila Kunis is single again?

This question is relevant to my interests. Yes I know, millionquadrillion-to-one-chance, but still......enough to let me happily fap to that one chance.

thems gonna be some butt-ugly babies

Le Bomb Suprize: Why Would I Read the Article: So does this mean that Mila Kunis is single again?

This question is relevant to my interests. Yes I know, millionquadrillion-to-one-chance, but still......enough to let me happily fap to that one chance.

Walk into a room, immediately bust a nut halfway to the bed, realize Macaulay Culkin did better, cry in the corner.

There, I've given you the experience.

SnakeMan: Who and who?

Hey, look, everyone! It's that guy!

Completely seperate: I'd stick something in a box for her, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

PizzaJedi81: SnakeMan: Who and who?

Hey, look, everyone! It's that guy!

Completely seperate: I'd stick something in a box for her, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

going off your name...a pizza?

/large sausage AMIRITE?!

Probably the second funniest (and creepy) thing I remember Jessica Biel for is being aggressively hit on by Mickey Rourke for an entire chat show. Link (some NSFW language, just a part of that show).

/even my sorry ass has better "game" than that, brah.

Cameron Diaz? Jessica Biel?

This guy is some kind of poosay svengali.

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Good for the both of them. Two beautiful people who deserve to sex eachother. Cheers.

You don't understand. They're getting married.

George Clooney should start a non-profit organization where he just drives around in the bat-mobile and convinces men not to get married.

ArkAngel: There's a much more important funny song that should be used concerning Jessica Biel

Link (new window)

Such a lovely song.
I wonder if that guy does weddings.

Guess he couldn't get his Prince Albert in a can?

Jamdug!: HotIgneous Intruder: Cameron Diaz? Jessica Biel?

This guy is some kind of poosay svengali.

Not really. He's just famous. Jeffrey farking Dahmer had groupies. Think about that.

Some women like a man who will make them dinner at home.

NO, JESSICA.
IT'S A TRAP. GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!



HAVE WE FORGOTTEN THE EMBARRASSMENT HE CAUSED YOU AFTER YOUR (misplaced, yet) HEARTWARMING SPEECH AT HIS BIRTHDAY?!? DO NOT LET THAT PASS

HotIgneous Intruder: Cameron Diaz? Jessica Biel?

This guy is some kind of poosay svengali.

Pre-crazy Spears, Diaz, Biel.

Dude's going to cheat on her in six months. No way he can resist all the top-shelf poon he has access to.

I do not hate Justin, but I am disappointed that of all the women available to him, he would choose to marry Jessica Biel. Notice I said MARRY, not have AMAZING NO COMMITMENT SEX with her. For that, he should be applauded.

/if the point is to start having kids, she really does not strike me as good wife/mom material

beta_plus: I do not hate Justin, but I am disappointed that of all the women available to him, he would choose to marry Jessica Biel. Notice I said MARRY, not have AMAZING NO COMMITMENT SEX with her. For that, he should be applauded.

/if the point is to start having kids, she really does not strike me as good wife/mom material

Why? What's wrong with producing hot brunette daughters?

I want to hate this guy so much ... but he just seems so ... cool

I would have married either of them. The typical marriage doesn't last long, and I'd get the dollars. Plus, Justine looks maybe middle eastern due to the thick facial hair, but she's not so unattractive I'd say no to the money. Like the preacher's daughter, I bet those girls get freaky.

I'd probably spend the entire time drinking expensive champagne and saying yes whenever either of them wanted to go into the bedroom. Actually, for Justine I'd need bourbon.

Russell got like a hundred mil for putting up with Katy Perry in bed, I'd settle for a couple mil after taxes.

CowboyNinjaD: George Clooney should start a non-profit organization where he just drives around in the bat-mobile and convinces men not to get married.

You know...

that's a brilliant setup for a commercial of some sort.

Damn... I would eat that ass til I found corn

bhcompy: beta_plus: I do not hate Justin, but I am disappointed that of all the women available to him, he would choose to marry Jessica Biel. Notice I said MARRY, not have AMAZING NO COMMITMENT SEX with her. For that, he should be applauded.

/if the point is to start having kids, she really does not strike me as good wife/mom material

Why? What's wrong with producing hot brunette daughters?

He could get the hot brunette daughters minus the endless drama and negligent care with someone else.

beta_plus: bhcompy: beta_plus: I do not hate Justin, but I am disappointed that of all the women available to him, he would choose to marry Jessica Biel. Notice I said MARRY, not have AMAZING NO COMMITMENT SEX with her. For that, he should be applauded.

/if the point is to start having kids, she really does not strike me as good wife/mom material

Why? What's wrong with producing hot brunette daughters?

He could get the hot brunette daughters minus the endless drama and negligent care with someone else.

I've never heard that Biel was a druggy or partygirl or something of that sort, care to fill me in? Or is it just because she's a movie star? As it is, I have the same impression of her that I have of Sandra Bullock, which is hot and famous but relatively grounded, and Bullock was a pretty good parent to kids that weren't even her own(one of them attended my son's school, seems like a good kid and Bullock was definitely attentive having seen her there all the time).