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Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-01-04 11:57:56 AM (165 comments) | Permalink

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15358 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2012 at 12:03 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Below are the winners and runners-up for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2011. One of the reasons that a lot of us come to Fark instead of anywhere else is the headlines that make us chuckle, or do a spit take, or occasionally laugh out loud in our offices.

We started collecting these in 2006 to give special recognition to the funny submitters that have given us all so many laughs over the course of the year, and also as a way to recap some of our favorites.

Although there are a lot of funny headlines here, there are a lot more that were great but ultimately didn't get enough votes to win this contest. Below are the results of the Headline of the Year contest based on your votes.

HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down
(submitter: Sybarite )

Runner-up: Teen tries to feed shark, succeeds
(submitter: SJKebab )

SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Browns sign Usama, expected to help them bring down Jets in New York
(submitter: CavalierEternal )

Runner-up: In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind
(submitter: germ78 )


GEEK HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: How to Become a Beekeeper. Well, 1. Get some bees, and 2. Keep them
(submitter: Sensei You Can See )

Runner-up: Full set of teeth successfully grown in lab, scientists awarded with plaque
(submitter: phlegmmo )


ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Bruce Willis to sell New York apartment at a loss. Yippie-ki-yay, market failure
(submitter: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener )

Runner-up: Leslie Nielsen had an entirely different kind of funeral. Altogether
(submitter: matthew_tray )


POLITICS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Palin to embark on short bus tour this weekend
(submitter: GooberMcFly )

Runner-up: Biden: "I think the stories The Onion does on me are hilarious." Palin: "The Onion makes fun of you because you make it so easy for them." Biden: "You mean like the New York Times does with you?" ^_^ Palin: v_v
(submitter: JMast7 )


BUSINESS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: AT&T is getting married to T-Mobile. There will be no reception afterwards
(submitter: Outlaw2097 )

Runner-up: Texas Instruments prepares for some serious 535507
(submitter: CaptainWes )


CONTEXT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Man... I don't remember Guitar Hero being this hard
(submitter: monas )

Runner-up: I think we found the one thing that Kelly Clarkson won't eat
(submitter: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener )


WORDPLAY/PUN HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: What's the new rage in protesting, if you're a monk in China? Why, setting yourself on fire, of course. It's been done before. But monk he see, monk he do
(submitter: TeddyRooseveltsMustache )

Runner-up: Man uses divorce papers to burn down wife's beauty parlor. Split ends with permanent damage
(submitter: wiredroach )


Congratulations and kudos to the winners!
· · ·
(view entire blog)


165 Comments   (+0 »)
   

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:02:46 PM
This year, I talked to Drew about what we could do in terms of prizes, and so for the first time, everybody on this list gets something.

- For the first-place winner: $250 Amazon gift card

- For the winners of each of the subtab, context, and pun contests: $100 Amazon gift card

- For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF

Awesome work, everybody. Winners: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.
 
Friskya [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:06:00 PM
I submitted every one of these with a funnier headline.

/had to be said
 
loki see loki do
2012-01-04 12:06:16 PM
Congrats guys!
 
Hugemeister
2012-01-04 12:06:52 PM
Boobies???
 
thomps [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:08:07 PM
Unfreakable: Awesome work, everybody. Winners: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.

what if i didn't make the list, what prize do i get then? can i at least have a participation ribbon or something?
 
Sapper_Topo
2012-01-04 12:08:55 PM
Unfreakable: This year, I talked to Drew about what we could do in terms of prizes, and so for the first time, everybody on this list gets something.

- For the first-place winner: $250 Amazon gift card

- For the winners of each of the subtab, context, and pun contests: $100 Amazon gift card

- For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF

Awesome work, everybody. Winners: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.

Would it be at all possible to post the winners Fark Handles with their headlines... Because lets be honest here these are worthy of praise.
 
markie_farkie [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:10:03 PM
thomps: what if i didn't make the list, what prize do i get then? can i at least have a participation ribbon or something?

www.dcasali.com

YOU'LL GET NOTHING, AND LIKE IT!!!
 
MyNameIsMofuga
2012-01-04 12:10:06 PM
Whenever I get one of my headlines greenlit I feel like a headline of the year winner.
 
WhoIsWillo [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:10:46 PM
 
zato_ichi
2012-01-04 12:11:00 PM
HOTY last year kicked this years' ass.

Just sayin'.
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:11:04 PM
Sapper_Topo: Would it be at all possible to post the winners Fark Handles with their headlines... Because lets be honest here these are worthy of praise.

This year I'm going to have our coders set up a cool Fark Headline Hall of Fame with all the contests going back to 2006. They'll link to the contests, winners, and announcements.
 
CavalierEternal [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:11:13 PM
Woooooh, hail to the Sports tab king, baby!
 
FlashHarry [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:11:22 PM
stellar work, gentlemen and ladies! huzzah!
 
bulldg4life
2012-01-04 12:11:41 PM
Cool prizes. Congrats.
 
Sapper_Topo
2012-01-04 12:12:04 PM
Unfreakable: Sapper_Topo: Would it be at all possible to post the winners Fark Handles with their headlines... Because lets be honest here these are worthy of praise.

This year I'm going to have our coders set up a cool Fark Headline Hall of Fame with all the contests going back to 2006. They'll link to the contests, winners, and announcements.

Thats like nature is pretty neat! Thanks
 
Infobahn
2012-01-04 12:13:30 PM
In before the Amazon Gift Card Hate.
 
mitchcumstein1 [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:14:16 PM
*begrudging tip of the cap*

Bastards.
 
not2bright
2012-01-04 12:14:36 PM
Unfreakable: Thank you for your work on this contest...
 
zato_ichi
2012-01-04 12:15:09 PM
Sapper_Topo: Would it be at all possible to post the winners Fark Handles with their headlines... Because lets be honest here these are worthy of praise.

amorefiori.files.wordpress.com
 
Gig103 [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:15:49 PM
Woah, cool gifts, congrats to the winners!

I have to give extra props to my favorite for 2011:
Woman hit and killed by monster truck. Funeral will be held on Sunday Sunday SUNDAY
 
ultraholland
2012-01-04 12:16:10 PM
free cockpunches for everybody else
 
douchebag/hater
2012-01-04 12:16:23 PM
Meh.

The 'fix' must be in because there were a lot better ones than these.
 
GooberMcFly [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:17:07 PM
zato_ichi: HOTY last year kicked this years' ass.

Just sayin'.

Which is why it finished second in last year's contest.

Good jorb as usual, Unfreakable. Thanks for doing this, and to Drew for letting us hang out in his e-house.
 
envirovore
2012-01-04 12:17:21 PM
Congratulations to those that won.
 
nopokerface
2012-01-04 12:18:02 PM
I enjoyed reading all the candidates.

Winners turned out to be weak IMO, but since when has that mattered to anyone?
 
9beers
2012-01-04 12:18:11 PM
The headline of the year is kind of weak.
 
desertgeek [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:18:14 PM
Congrats to the worthy winners.

/Slightly disappointed that the Nielsen funeral didn't win, but at least it got recognized.
 
Tarl3k
2012-01-04 12:18:18 PM
Congrats to the winners, that is some FUNNY stuff!!!
 
Big Man On Campus
2012-01-04 12:19:13 PM
Sapper_Topo: Would it be at all possible to post the winners Fark Handles with their headlines... Because lets be honest here these are worthy of praise.

Not to worry sir, BMOC's got your back:

HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down
(submitter: Sybarite )

Runner-up: Teen tries to feed shark, succeeds
(submitter: SJKebab )

SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Browns sign Usama, expected to help them bring down Jets in New York
(submitter: CavalierEternal )

Runner-up: In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind
(submitter: germ78 )


GEEK HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: How to Become a Beekeeper. Well, 1. Get some bees, and 2. Keep them
(submitter: Sensei You Can See )

Runner-up: Full set of teeth successfully grown in lab, scientists awarded with plaque
(submitter: phlegmmo )


ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Bruce Willis to sell New York apartment at a loss. Yippie-ki-yay, market failure
(submitter: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener )

Runner-up: Leslie Nielsen had an entirely different kind of funeral. Altogether
(submitter: matthew_tray )

POLITICS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Palin to embark on short bus tour this weekend
(submitter: GooberMcFly )

Runner-up: Biden: "I think the stories The Onion does on me are hilarious." Palin: "The Onion makes fun of you because you make it so easy for them." Biden: "You mean like the New York Times does with you?" ^_^ Palin: v_v
(submitter: JMast7 )

BUSINESS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: AT&T is getting married to T-Mobile. There will be no reception afterwards
(submitter: Outlaw2097 )

Runner-up: Texas Instruments prepares for some serious 535507
(submitter: CaptainWes )

CONTEXT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Man... I don't remember Guitar Hero being this hard
(submitter: monas )

Runner-up: I think we found the one thing that Kelly Clarkson won't eat
(submitter: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener )

WORDPLAY/PUN HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: What's the new rage in protesting, if you're a monk in China? Why, setting yourself on fire, of course. It's been done before. But monk he see, monk he do
(submitter: TeddyRooseveltsMustache )

Runner-up: Man uses divorce papers to burn down wife's beauty parlor. Split ends with permanent damage
(submitter: wiredroach )

Source: This Thread.
 
WhoIsWillo [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:19:32 PM
Honored to be nominated among so many great headlines. Maybe next year I will finally break into the top tier.

Until then, I will just continue to mock Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener every chance I get.
 
zvoidx
2012-01-04 12:20:21 PM
Nice of you to offer prizes, maybe it will encourage people in 2012.
/comment of the year?
 
Gosling
2012-01-04 12:21:48 PM
WhoIsWillo: Honored to be nominated among so many great headlines. Maybe next year I will finally break into the top tier.

Until then, I will just continue to mock Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener every chance I get.

He's on the list twice, man. I think he gets bragging rights over everyone else on the site, save perhaps for Sybarite.
 
Captain Steroid [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:22:00 PM
HOTY was an obvious choice.

Congratulations, Sybarite! Expect an invoice from me for a new keyboard. :P
 
jayhawk88
2012-01-04 12:23:01 PM
Shoot, I thought my Geek tab entry had a shot there for a while. Oh well, the right headline won.
 
coco ebert [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:23:29 PM
Can you get CE a girlfriend?

I keed. Congrats everyone!
 
Tickman
2012-01-04 12:23:50 PM
Well ... if I'd won, I was going to re-up my TotalFark account.

oh well.
 
Hyperbolic Hyperbole [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:26:44 PM
well hot damn if i knew there were prizes i might have tried to be funny
 
MattyBlast
2012-01-04 12:27:01 PM
Can we have a Post of the Year next year?
 
simusid
2012-01-04 12:27:11 PM
"Market Failure" made me laugh but nothing like:

"US astronomers announce discovery of room temperature dwarf brown star. NASA immediately names it Gary Coleman"

'Twas my favorite by far!
 
Big Man On Campus
2012-01-04 12:27:59 PM
MattyBlast: Can we have a Post of the Year next year?

We don't need to give any encouragement to pocket ninja.
 
TheShavingofOccam123 [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:31:47 PM
Congratulations to all the winners.

Could I at least get 3 drachmas for my ancient Lesbian urn headline?

It's hard out there on a procurer.
 
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:32:17 PM
CONGRATS FOLKS!

And TMLO your Bruce Willis headline made me drop my sandwich, I am respectfully requesting you place it. Thanks!
 
BalugaJoe
2012-01-04 12:35:24 PM
I voted for Drew.
 
Clawhammer [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:36:12 PM
Well done everyone...There was some stiff competition this year.
 
Meatzilla
2012-01-04 12:36:25 PM
www.mediashow.ro


/congrats!
 
Monual
2012-01-04 12:40:26 PM
Still think it's lame that the winner this year was the runner-up last year. Repeats in HOTY FTL.
 
EviLincoln [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:40:41 PM
Nice prizes!
 
Di Atribe [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:40:47 PM
CavalierEternal: Woooooh, hail to the Sports tab king, baby!

Hurray! Good job, you sick bastard
 
SouthpawSlicer
2012-01-04 12:42:02 PM
CavalierEternal: Woooooh, hail to the Sports tab king, baby!

Congrats Cavalier. At least the Cleveland contingent won something in 2011. It'll have to do for now.
 
Mikey1969 [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 12:42:38 PM
Friskya: I submitted every one of these with a funnier headline.

/had to be said

There is no way you beat this one: 'Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down'

The 'Usama' one was awesome, too...
 
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