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Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-01-04 11:57:56 AM (165 comments) | Permalink

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15619 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2012 at 12:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Below are the winners and runners-up for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2011. One of the reasons that a lot of us come to Fark instead of anywhere else is the headlines that make us chuckle, or do a spit take, or occasionally laugh out loud in our offices.

We started collecting these in 2006 to give special recognition to the funny submitters that have given us all so many laughs over the course of the year, and also as a way to recap some of our favorites.

Although there are a lot of funny headlines here, there are a lot more that were great but ultimately didn't get enough votes to win this contest. Below are the results of the Headline of the Year contest based on your votes.

HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down
(submitter: Sybarite )

Runner-up: Teen tries to feed shark, succeeds
(submitter: SJKebab )

SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Browns sign Usama, expected to help them bring down Jets in New York
(submitter: CavalierEternal )

Runner-up: In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind
(submitter: germ78 )


GEEK HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: How to Become a Beekeeper. Well, 1. Get some bees, and 2. Keep them
(submitter: Sensei You Can See )

Runner-up: Full set of teeth successfully grown in lab, scientists awarded with plaque
(submitter: phlegmmo )


ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Bruce Willis to sell New York apartment at a loss. Yippie-ki-yay, market failure
(submitter: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener )

Runner-up: Leslie Nielsen had an entirely different kind of funeral. Altogether
(submitter: matthew_tray )


POLITICS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Palin to embark on short bus tour this weekend
(submitter: GooberMcFly )

Runner-up: Biden: "I think the stories The Onion does on me are hilarious." Palin: "The Onion makes fun of you because you make it so easy for them." Biden: "You mean like the New York Times does with you?" ^_^ Palin: v_v
(submitter: JMast7 )


BUSINESS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: AT&T is getting married to T-Mobile. There will be no reception afterwards
(submitter: Outlaw2097 )

Runner-up: Texas Instruments prepares for some serious 535507
(submitter: CaptainWes )


CONTEXT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Man... I don't remember Guitar Hero being this hard
(submitter: monas )

Runner-up: I think we found the one thing that Kelly Clarkson won't eat
(submitter: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener )


WORDPLAY/PUN HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: What's the new rage in protesting, if you're a monk in China? Why, setting yourself on fire, of course. It's been done before. But monk he see, monk he do
(submitter: TeddyRooseveltsMustache )

Runner-up: Man uses divorce papers to burn down wife's beauty parlor. Split ends with permanent damage
(submitter: wiredroach )


Congratulations and kudos to the winners!
· · ·
(view entire blog)


165 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2012-01-04 02:29:08 PM
Way to go, everyone. Great submissions!
 
2012-01-04 02:29:56 PM
My favorite from 2011, which I believe didn't get past the first round:

Heinrich Himmler's WWII postcards up for sale. "Having wonderful time, wish Jew were not here"
 
2012-01-04 02:31:40 PM
I'm voting for the "Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down" headline every year from now on.
 
2012-01-04 02:38:01 PM
Congrats everyone!
 
2012-01-04 02:39:49 PM

JackieRabbit: Congrats winners. Now that it's 2012..... I just wanted to let you know we're all counting on you.


That's a completely different movie reference. Altogether.
 
2012-01-04 02:39:54 PM

FREDIOHEAD: I'm voting for the "Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down" headline every year from now on.


That's why I didn't like it. It's an old joke that I've heard every farking year when somebody vandalizes a nativity scene.
 
2012-01-04 02:40:42 PM

Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Stinkyy: Could someone please post the past front page HOTY headlines? I know, it's asking a lot...

It's almost as if they have websites where you can search the internet for things (new window)


img.photobucket.com
 
2012-01-04 02:44:11 PM

FishInABowl: Still, nothing tops the 'Juan Moore' headline from a few years back IMO.


Two Swimmers dead, Jaun Moore Missing (new window)
 
2012-01-04 02:47:48 PM

illbeinmybunk: JackieRabbit: Congrats winners. Now that it's 2012..... I just wanted to let you know we're all counting on you.

That's a completely different movie reference. Altogether.


Surely, you can be serious....
 
2012-01-04 02:54:20 PM
Next year, can we have a 'Best TFD Trainwreck' category?

Also, where's my TFood tab? I'm tired of having to hang out on reddit for that stuff.
 
2012-01-04 02:55:00 PM
If I understand this correctly,
This year's HOTY is the same as last year's HOTY runner-up?
 
2012-01-04 02:55:54 PM

FishInABowl: Still, nothing tops the 'Juan Moore' headline from a few years back IMO.


Plane crashes in Florida panhandle, no pilot found. Well there's your problem (new window)

Still my favorite headline ever, and I didn't even submit it.
 
2012-01-04 02:56:12 PM
Congrats, winners! Better luck next year, whiners!
 
2012-01-04 02:57:28 PM

9beers: FREDIOHEAD: I'm voting for the "Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down" headline every year from now on.

That's why I didn't like it. It's an old joke that I've heard every farking year when somebody vandalizes a nativity scene.


Ok, I found this. So I guess I'll take my snark back.

Unfreakable [TotalFark] Add Favorite User
2011-12-05 02:08:21 PM Ignore User
NobleHam: It was already runner-up last year. I'm not even sure why it's in this year's contest again.

Because at the end of last year, we decided to make the Headline of the Year contest run from Dec-Nov so that great headlines coming around in December (especially the last two weeks) weren't left out, as they had been since 2006. I put up all the headlines from December in a new voting thread this year. I didn't see a need to exclude it.

skazzytl: I'm a little confused - do all December headlines have to wait for the following year's HOY contest, or just the ones from after voting started? Because the best headline I've seen on here in a while was the one on "Herman Cain suspends campaign to spend more time with your wife" and but that was a few days ago, and a December headline. Will it be up for vote for this year's HOY, or does it have to wait for next year?

It'll be in next year's contest.
 
2012-01-04 03:25:18 PM
Great job everyone, and thanks to everyone who pulled the contest together.

How is it we aren't giving the winners t- shirts with their headlines on them?
 
2012-01-04 03:29:44 PM

Zafler: FishInABowl: Still, nothing tops the 'Juan Moore' headline from a few years back IMO.

Two Swimmers dead, Jaun Moore Missing (new window)


That one was damn funny. It's like Fate, Nature, or someone out there has a good sense of humor and likes to toss us a good one now and then. Also, the Guitar Hero one totally wins for context. I opened its link and had to stifle a fit of giggles in the office.
 
2012-01-04 03:33:20 PM

Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Stinkyy: Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Stinkyy: Could someone please post the past front page HOTY headlines? I know, it's asking a lot...

It's almost as if they have websites where you can search the internet for things (new window)

Oh, thanks, but this is all that came up in the search results: Link (new window)

It's almost as if you can mouse over hyperlinks without having to click on them and spoil your sad attempt to debase me.


So hey, have you found the list of the past HOTY yet? No? O.k., smart guy.
 
2012-01-04 03:35:44 PM

Stinkyy: Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Stinkyy: Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Stinkyy: Could someone please post the past front page HOTY headlines? I know, it's asking a lot...

It's almost as if they have websites where you can search the internet for things (new window)

Oh, thanks, but this is all that came up in the search results: Link (new window)

It's almost as if you can mouse over hyperlinks without having to click on them and spoil your sad attempt to debase me.

So hey, have you found the list of the past HOTY yet? No? O.k., smart guy.


...I am inclined to ask how you even managed to make it to this webpage, sir.
 
2012-01-04 03:43:19 PM

Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Stinkyy: Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Stinkyy: Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Stinkyy: Could someone please post the past front page HOTY headlines? I know, it's asking a lot...

It's almost as if they have websites where you can search the internet for things (new window)

Oh, thanks, but this is all that came up in the search results: Link (new window)

It's almost as if you can mouse over hyperlinks without having to click on them and spoil your sad attempt to debase me.

So hey, have you found the list of the past HOTY yet? No? O.k., smart guy.

...I am inclined to ask how you even managed to make it to this webpage, sir.


I am wondering at which point you will cease your obfuscation with smartypantsisms and actually show the list? JUST SHOW THE DAMN LIST OF ALL THE PREVIOUS HOTY WINNERS and you win.
 
2012-01-04 03:46:05 PM
It's sad that simply submitting a snarky Jesus headline is a surefire way to get HOTY.
 
2012-01-04 04:01:11 PM

Stinkyy: JUST SHOW THE DAMN LIST OF ALL THE PREVIOUS HOTY WINNERS


Link (2010)

Link (2009)

Link (2008)

Link (2007)

I don't think there is a list for 2006.
 
2012-01-04 04:13:35 PM
Quality over quantity, once again.

Congrats everyone
 
2012-01-04 04:22:29 PM
Wonderful crop of headlines. I am just a little sad my favorite didn't make it:

"Turkey drops soldiers from helicopter into Iraq. "As god is my witness, I thought soldiers could fly"
 
2012-01-04 04:22:44 PM
I guess I should post my amazon wishlist here for the winners to buy my affection.

*flips hair*
 
2012-01-04 04:27:15 PM
For those of you who missed previous year contests or want to see them again, check them out here:

2006
2007
2008
2009
2010

You can also see some of the other contests with the right search: Fark headline search
 
2012-01-04 04:32:22 PM
Weakest HOTY winner yet.

/didn't submit it with a better headline
//just heckling fromt he cheap seats
 
2012-01-04 04:42:38 PM
Congrats to all the winners. Despite all the biatching, I thought there were some great entries this year. Here's to an awesome 2012
 
2012-01-04 04:54:46 PM
FARK YEAH TMFO!!!
 
2012-01-04 04:55:25 PM
FARK YEAH TMLO! (oh yeah, I know I suck)
 
2012-01-04 04:56:10 PM

on the road: Wonderful crop of headlines. I am just a little sad my favorite didn't make it:

"Turkey drops soldiers from helicopter into Iraq. "As god is my witness, I thought soldiers could fly"


OK, this is hilarious
 
2012-01-04 04:58:21 PM
As always, thanks to the folks who voted for my headlines in the various contests, as well as the folks who keep the queue supplied year-round with hilarious and creative headlines.

Out of this lot, though, I think my favorite winner/runner-up one-two-punch has to come from the Business tab, so I tip my hat to Outlaw2097 and CaptainWes there.

I'd also like to give much respect to the two folks who ranked in the same contests as me, matthew_tray and monas. Quality headlines, those!


thomps: what if i didn't make the list, what prize do i get then? can i at least have a participation ribbon or something?

WE ALL GET PUDDIN'


StandsWithAFist: thanks again to Unfreakable for all the effort to bring us a few extra smiles!

GooberMcFly: Good jorb as usual, Unfreakable. Thanks for doing this, and to Drew for letting us hang out in his e-house.

not2bright: Unfreakable: Thank you for your work on this contest...

Word to all of that, Unfreakable and Drew.


WhoIsWillo: Honored to be nominated among so many great headlines. Maybe next year I will finally break into the top tier.

Glad to hear that you were in this! Which one/ones?


Until then, I will just continue to mock Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener every chance I get.

Well, that sounds like a completely worthy strateg... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY, WAITAMINUTE


Gosling: He's on the list twice, man. I think he gets bragging rights over everyone else on the site, save perhaps for Sybarite.

Personally, I'm just jazzed to get *any* headlines in the running. Cheers!


simusid: "Market Failure" made me laugh

*tips hat*

Thanks for the kind words!


LlamaGirl: CONGRATS FOLKS!

And TMLO your Bruce Willis headline made me drop my sandwich, I am respectfully requesting you place it. Thanks!


I can negotiate with my affiliates about a BLT, if that would help.

(Thanks much!)


WhoIsWillo: He may be on the list twice, but he still doesn't have any EctoCooler.

I'M WORKING ON IT, I TELL YOU


Dumb-Ass-Monkey:
Congrats to Cav and TMLO!

Good job, guys!


Thanks a mil as always, D-A-M - salud!


xanadian: Wat? TMLO win a HOTY contest?? NOWAI!!

INORITE? :D

Heh, I'm just tryin', anyways.

*fistbump*

Cheers, man!


tin_man: I hate to see TMLO win anything.

I'm printing this comment out and sticking it to the fridge, I *heart* it so much.


matthew_tray: I'm number two, I'm number two!

/Thanks to all for voting for the Leslie Nielsen, and many thanks more who contributed to that thread. That was outstanding and it always makes me laugh.


Like I said earlier in this post, it was a damn fine submission. Much respect, matthew_tray!


gameshowhost: Dammit, TMLO... I never saw that Bruce Willis headline. XD U WIN

For whatever it's worth, I'm glad you dug it, amigo!


/could've been in business tab as well
//what funny has ever come out of that tab? :-|


Personally, as I said above, my two favorite winner/runner-up headlines this year are from the Business contest. I think they were excellent, all in all.


hamdingers: Congrats to all the winners - esp. TMLO. More proof that MSTies know funny!

Hey, MSTies know better than to bother with those other science facts!

Thanks a lot, hamdingers, and keep enjoying the show!


Unfreakable: For those of you who missed previous year contests or want to see them again, check them out here:

2006
2007
2008
2009
2010


We also had that one proto-Headline of the Year contest from 2005:

What was the best Fark headline of 2005? Link goes to Farkives. Voting enabled
 
2012-01-04 05:00:13 PM
FARK YEAH, BIKERDIVA!
 
2012-01-04 05:00:16 PM
One this that shiats me about this site, is that all the threads that I want to be a part of happen when I'm fast asleep... Stupid timezones. That said, WOOO! 2nd!

Thanks Unfreakable for your huge efforts in putting all of this together! You sir, rock. And thanks to everyone who voted for the shark. I never thought it'd get anywhere near this stage.

/Here's to Clarkey - hopefully he brings up the triple ton today.
 
2012-01-04 05:06:19 PM
SJKebab: Thanks Unfreakable for your huge efforts in putting all of this together! You sir, rock. And thanks to everyone who voted for the shark. I never thought it'd get anywhere near this stage.

It was boss, SJKebab!

THAT was an instant classic, right there.
 
2012-01-04 05:21:11 PM

L33t Squirrel: Zafler: FishInABowl: Still, nothing tops the 'Juan Moore' headline from a few years back IMO.

Two Swimmers dead, Jaun Moore Missing (new window)

That one was damn funny. It's like Fate, Nature, or someone out there has a good sense of humor and likes to toss us a good one now and then. Also, the Guitar Hero one totally wins for context. I opened its link and had to stifle a fit of giggles in the office.


Yeah, there are a number of threads that I really wish later that I had done more than just lurk in. But I'm not particularly good with being witty so, mostly, I just lurk.

The Juan Moore headline was only the 2nd or 3rd time I had seen a headline that made me say something aloud about it before laughing.
 
2012-01-04 05:22:52 PM
Much Obliged TMLO. I don't care what the others say about you, you're a class act mate. :)
 
2012-01-04 05:30:32 PM
Massive props to all the other winners and runners-up too. There was some great laughs to be had here on an otherwise shiatty year all around. So thank you Fark for being you.
 
2012-01-04 05:34:07 PM

Zafler: Yeah, there are a number of threads that I really wish later that I had done more than just lurk in. But I'm not particularly good with being witty so, mostly, I just lurk.


I tend to go for "unrepentant smartass" over "witty." :)

But one day I will get the hang of "witty" and then a greenlight will be mine! Muahahahahaha!

The Juan Moore headline was only the 2nd or 3rd time I had seen a headline that made me say something aloud about it before laughing.

I didn't have to say it out loud, but I did get the hangfire of, "wait, did subby just... Oh no he didn't. :D"
 
2012-01-04 05:40:09 PM
SJKebab: Much Obliged TMLO. I don't care what the others say about you, you're a class act mate. :)

img830.imageshack.us

Gracias, man, and keep on keepin' on. :)
 
2012-01-04 05:44:06 PM
So, any subjects available for TMLO Theater for the special occasion?
 
2012-01-04 05:50:59 PM

SJKebab: And thanks to everyone who voted for the shark. I never thought it'd get anywhere near this stage.


That there was a quality headline. Simple, funny, perfect. Still laugh when I read it.
 
2012-01-04 05:51:46 PM
Zafler: So, any subjects available for TMLO Theater for the special occasion?

Heh!

If there *are* subjects...

img441.imageshack.us

... I'm waiting for Hans Gruber to drop by with them.
 
2012-01-04 05:55:32 PM
mitchcumstein1: That there was a quality headline. Simple, funny, perfect. Still laugh when I read it.

Precisely that, SJKebab.

Brevity, soul, wit, etc.
 
2012-01-04 06:38:09 PM

FREDIOHEAD: I'm voting for the "Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down" headline every year from now on.


Me too.

My favorite (which made me LOL and wince at the same time = quality humor handiwork by the headline crafter) : The Penn State headline. Bravo germ78 you magnificent sick bastard.....
 
2012-01-04 06:40:33 PM
2011: Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down (submitter: Sybarite )

2010: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline
(submitter: crimsin23 )

2009: Gas blowing out exit brings 69 to a complete halt

2008: Five killed and dozens injured in perfume factory fire. EAU DE HUMANITY

2005: Pope denounces materialism from balcony of marble, gold-domed building in midst of jewel-encrusted religious icons while wearing giant gold cross
(submitter: awkward saw)

Thanks Unfreakable, for putting on a great awards show.

Thank you FREDIOHEAD and TMLO for coming to the rescue on links to the previous years.
 
2012-01-04 06:47:23 PM

Stinkyy: 2011: Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down (submitter: Sybarite )

2010: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline
(submitter: crimsin23 )

2009: Gas blowing out exit brings 69 to a complete halt

2008: Five killed and dozens injured in perfume factory fire. EAU DE HUMANITY

2005: Pope denounces materialism from balcony of marble, gold-domed building in midst of jewel-encrusted religious icons while wearing giant gold cross
(submitter: awkward saw)

Thanks Unfreakable, for putting on a great awards show.

Thank you FREDIOHEAD and TMLO for coming to the rescue on links to the previous years.


You forgot:

2006: Floodwaters send sharks inland. So beware of... hang on a sec, there's someone at the door

And my personal favorite:

2007: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear
 
2012-01-04 06:49:57 PM

thomps: what if i didn't make the list, what prize do i get then? can i at least have a participation ribbon or something?

img4.imageshack.us
 
2012-01-04 07:08:54 PM
Holy crap. I won one? Hahaha, that's fantastic. Thanks to everyone who voted. Cheers.
 
2012-01-04 07:28:51 PM
Congrats to all the winners and thanks for the laughs.

/// I will win next year!
 
2012-01-04 07:33:34 PM

Jclark666: 2007: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear


That one, and Juan Moore, are probably my all time favourites.
 
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