If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy) Dumbass If you drink and drive, throw away your bar tab receipt. And don't vomit on the breathalyzer   (1027jackfm.com) divider line 12
More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

4053 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2012 at 11:29 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



12 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark]
2012-01-04 11:21:54 AM
Well, just having all those drinks listed on your receipt doesn't mean he drank them all. In fact, it doesn't mean he drank any. He might have just been really generous at the bar.

And of course he smelled like alcohol. He'd just finished buying everybody in the bar he'd been hanging out in multiple rounds of drinks! They were cheering him and toasting him and of course he got splashed.

And of course he couldn't complete a field sobriety test. I mean, come on. The guy was sick. He threw up on the breathalyzer! He probably had a stomach flu or something; that's why he was going home early after having such a great time buying people drinks at the bar. I think if some cops barged into your house and made you do a bunch of field sobriety tests while you were running a fever with a stomach flu, you probably wouldn't do very well, either.

I weep for our loss of freedom.
 
Big Man On Campus
2012-01-04 11:33:59 AM
So, weak-stomached accountants should always be a designated driver? This is news?
 
TheWhoppah
2012-01-04 11:34:33 AM
Actually it could really help your defense to vomit. Breath testing machines can't give an accurate reading for at least 15 minutes after you burp or vomit. Vomitting can be a symtom of intoxication but it is more often a symptom of illness. The illness that could explain your disoriented behavior, lack of coordination, roaring headache, and excessive sleepiness.
 
ToastTheRabbit
2012-01-04 11:50:40 AM
TheWhoppah: Actually it could really help your defense to vomit. Breath testing machines can't give an accurate reading for at least 15 minutes after you burp or vomit. Vomitting can be a symtom of intoxication but it is more often a symptom of illness. The illness that could explain your disoriented behavior, lack of coordination, roaring headache, and excessive sleepiness.

If you are disoriented due to illness that is still driving while impaired and you can still get a ticket and a friendly ride in the backseat of a police car (atleast here in California)
 
evilsearat
2012-01-04 11:51:17 AM
With the tip? Not including the tip?

/Just the tip?
 
mdbuff12
2012-01-04 11:54:02 AM
Orange Humvee? Well, he was practically invisible to the cops, I wonder how they spotted him.
 
ko_kyi
2012-01-04 11:54:41 AM
Maybe he only had 10, but don't most bartenders stop pouring when you can't lift your head off of the bar?
 
tarheel07
2012-01-04 01:33:53 PM
ToastTheRabbit: TheWhoppah: Actually it could really help your defense to vomit. Breath testing machines can't give an accurate reading for at least 15 minutes after you burp or vomit. Vomitting can be a symtom of intoxication but it is more often a symptom of illness. The illness that could explain your disoriented behavior, lack of coordination, roaring headache, and excessive sleepiness.

If you are disoriented due to illness that is still driving while impaired and you can still get a ticket and a friendly ride in the backseat of a police car (atleast here in California)

NC is essentially the same way. If you're driving after anesthesia or while on certain medications, you are considered impaired. Then again, I wonder if his vomit reeked of alcohol. That's a lot less circumstantial than a bar tab.
 
spmkk
2012-01-04 01:46:10 PM
 
fredbox
2012-01-04 01:53:19 PM
tarheel07: ToastTheRabbit: TheWhoppah: Actually it could really help your defense to vomit. Breath testing machines can't give an accurate reading for at least 15 minutes after you burp or vomit. Vomitting can be a symtom of intoxication but it is more often a symptom of illness. The illness that could explain your disoriented behavior, lack of coordination, roaring headache, and excessive sleepiness.

If you are disoriented due to illness that is still driving while impaired and you can still get a ticket and a friendly ride in the backseat of a police car (atleast here in California)

NC is essentially the same way. If you're driving after anesthesia or while on certain medications, you are considered impaired. Then again, I wonder if his vomit reeked of alcohol. That's a lot less circumstantial than a bar tab.

Oregon too, they've prosecuted DUII cases with .000 BAC before. Never take a field sobriety test. Never say anything beyond "I need to speak to my attorney before answering any questions" and "I do not consent to any search." You'll go to jail and they'll destroy your stuff, but it still beats an actual prison sentence.
 
pueblonative
2012-01-04 09:35:24 PM
ToastTheRabbit: TheWhoppah: Actually it could really help your defense to vomit. Breath testing machines can't give an accurate reading for at least 15 minutes after you burp or vomit. Vomitting can be a symtom of intoxication but it is more often a symptom of illness. The illness that could explain your disoriented behavior, lack of coordination, roaring headache, and excessive sleepiness.

If you are disoriented due to illness that is still driving while impaired and you can still get a ticket and a friendly ride in the backseat of a police car (atleast here in California)

True, but can you get a ticket if you suddenly develop the disease while driving?
 
stewbert
2012-01-05 08:46:14 AM
fredbox: tarheel07: ToastTheRabbit: TheWhoppah: Actually it could really help your defense to vomit. Breath testing machines can't give an accurate reading for at least 15 minutes after you burp or vomit. Vomitting can be a symtom of intoxication but it is more often a symptom of illness. The illness that could explain your disoriented behavior, lack of coordination, roaring headache, and excessive sleepiness.

If you are disoriented due to illness that is still driving while impaired and you can still get a ticket and a friendly ride in the backseat of a police car (atleast here in California)

NC is essentially the same way. If you're driving after anesthesia or while on certain medications, you are considered impaired. Then again, I wonder if his vomit reeked of alcohol. That's a lot less circumstantial than a bar tab.

Oregon too, they've prosecuted DUII cases with .000 BAC before. Never take a field sobriety test. Never say anything beyond "I need to speak to my attorney before answering any questions" and "I do not consent to any search." You'll go to jail and they'll destroy your stuff, but it still beats an actual prison sentence.

If you refuse the field test (and BAC) in Oregon, congrats on your mandatory 1 year suspension. If it's your first time, you're probably far better off just going along with it.

Of course, I guess if you truly haven't been drinking, you might be able to fight the DMV suspension. But if you fight the DUI in court and lose, you won't get the chance to take diversion, and get a conviction instead.
 
Displayed 12 of 12 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop »