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Video
(The Macomb Daily)
Nothing handy with which to beat your girlfriend? Hey, there's a two-foot cross
(
macombdaily.com
)
35
More:
Asinine
,
Sex and the law
,
false imprisonments
,
savage
,
girlfriend
• • •
3641
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on
04 Jan 2012
at
10:26 AM
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BurnShrike
2012-01-04 07:23:45 AM
Man accused of beating girlfriend with two-foot cross in court
Badly written article headline is badly written. It sounds like he beat her in court.
flamingboar
2012-01-04 07:25:39 AM
Looks like he...*puts on glasses* had a hell of a time...
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Sybarite
2012-01-04 09:17:00 AM
The power of Christ compels you!
Teen Wolf Blitzer
2012-01-04 10:27:20 AM
Religion of peace
xanadian
2012-01-04 10:28:33 AM
BurnShrike
:
Man accused of beating girlfriend with two-foot cross in court
Badly written article headline is badly written. It sounds like he beat her in court.
"So this is hell...and there's a crucifix in it."
fireclown
2012-01-04 10:28:58 AM
How about some 'o these? Yep. Coors light. Now in baseball bat form. A simply awful idea.
Sock Ruh Tease
2012-01-04 10:32:49 AM
flamingboar
:
Looks like he...*puts on glasses* had a hell of a time...
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Looks like she was... *puts on sunglasses*... beaten Savagely.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Aidan
2012-01-04 10:33:00 AM
So, er, he beat her for 5 hours and then fell asleep...?
And then she got away and had bruises and minor swelling?
Did he just... not really mean it, or was he some seriously weak-ass fark? I guess I shouldn't be criticizing his form, but geez... If you're going to do something that stupid...
bdub77
2012-01-04 10:33:31 AM
This country was founded by Puritans. What's America coming to when you can't beat your girlfriend with a two foot cross?
WI241TH
2012-01-04 10:34:45 AM
Looks like he got HOT and took a CROSS to her BUNS...
YEEEAAAAaaaaaahhhhh?
MBooda
2012-01-04 10:34:54 AM
to beat
it with
your girlfriend
altinos
2012-01-04 10:37:51 AM
He was just trying to get his point a cross.
Gergesa
2012-01-04 10:41:32 AM
The cross is heavy because it is filled with mercy.
Don't strain a muscle swinging it.
Sock Ruh Tease
2012-01-04 10:42:26 AM
altinos
:
He was just trying to get his point a cross.
He was pretty cross with her.
dv-ous
2012-01-04 10:46:43 AM
Beating your girlfriend with a two foot cross?
Yeah, I have that video...
BurnShrike
2012-01-04 10:46:58 AM
Aidan
:
So, er, he beat her for 5 hours and then fell asleep...?
And then she got away and had bruises and minor swelling?
Did he just... not really mean it, or was he some seriously weak-ass fark? I guess I shouldn't be criticizing his form, but geez... If you're going to do something that stupid...
Lay off the guy. There's no reason to crucify him.
elev8meL8r
2012-01-04 10:52:42 AM
farking martyr complexes.
mytdawg
2012-01-04 10:54:44 AM
As long as it was done in the name of God, his sins will be forgiven. Probably wishing for a little of that sharia law they are so afraid of.
Be healed!
TemporarySanity
2012-01-04 10:56:03 AM
"How do you *yawn*
WHAP!
like that, huh sistergirl?
WHAP!
That'll teach you not to... *yawn*
WHAP!
....whoo man... so sleepy....
WHA....
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
thebigfarker
2012-01-04 10:56:47 AM
Good thing he wasn't a better Christian.
A 3 foot cross may have killed her.
Agent Smiths Laugh
2012-01-04 11:00:40 AM
Craig Matthew Savage, 29, appeared Tuesday for a brief hearing before 52-3 District Court Judge Julie Nicholson.
Rarely is a name so appropriate, and that name is appearing before a female judge for beating a woman. Adios compadre!
You beat her like a biatch, now you'll get to be the biatch. I can find nothing wrong in that outcome.
MythDragon
2012-01-04 11:20:45 AM
Should have used one of these:
/Full of mercy!
CheekyMonkey
2012-01-04 11:21:11 AM
Aidan
:
So, er, he beat her for 5 hours and then fell asleep...?
And then she got away and had bruises and minor swelling?
Did he just... not really mean it, or was he some seriously weak-ass fark? I guess I shouldn't be criticizing his form, but geez... If you're going to do something that stupid...
Well, he did use a Nerf cross...
ShannonKW
2012-01-04 11:37:42 AM
The civilized man knows that an unruly girlfriend must be disciplined with a rod no thicker than his thumb. Why is this no longer taught in our schools?
In our zeal to abolish the blue laws men like this were abandoned to fall through the cracks. A wholly unnecessary tragedy. For shame, America,
for shame!
/hope to see y'all on election day!
Seth_The_Wide
2012-01-04 11:41:40 AM
KILL THAT BISHOP!
Iggymac
2012-01-04 11:50:55 AM
Sock Ruh Tease
:
Looks like she was... *puts on sunglasses*... beaten Savagely.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Looks like he had... *puts on sunglasses*... a cross to bear.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
thebigfarker
2012-01-04 11:52:32 AM
ShannonKW The civilized man knows that an unruly girlfriend must be disciplined with a rod no thicker than his thumb. Why is this no longer taught in our schools?
Apparently it wasn't taught in your school either.
It says you can only beat her IN PUBPIC with a stick no bigger than your thumb.
At home you can do it right.
/Ignorant religious zealots annoy me.
ShannonKW
2012-01-04 12:19:31 PM
thebigfarker
:
It says you can only beat her IN PUBPIC with a stick no bigger than your thumb.
I would
never
beat a girl in the pubpic. It's cruel, and there's a chance if you hit her pubpic wrong that she'll never be able to have babies. No, I'd just give her a wallop on the byoo-tox.
Then again, a stick no bigger than your thumb would be a pretty small stick...
stuffy
2012-01-04 12:31:36 PM
Savage assaulted his 31-year-old girlfriend with a 2-foot decorative metal cross for five hours
Five hours?
lilbjorn
2012-01-04 01:22:18 PM
WWJD
caddisfly
2012-01-04 02:51:12 PM
FTFA: "Savage is charged with on one count each of second-degree criminal sexual conduct."
He apparently went all Regan on her. Beware Captain Howdy.
Langdon Alger
2012-01-04 03:01:04 PM
it was his impression of........ALABAMA MAN!
croesius
2012-01-04 03:55:35 PM
impressed
Larva Lump
2012-01-04 10:33:09 PM
If the Constitution didn't protect the right to bear crosses, where would this great country of ours be right now?
//
Watching Helen Keller re-enacting the German attack on Minnie Pearl in the back of a bus. That's where.
// Another beer? Don't mind if I do.
LewDux
2012-01-05 05:46:35 AM
I guess
he crossed
the line
!!!!!
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