uh.. no problem there...

So all you have to do to get knighted now is be super hot?

BurnShrike: So all you have to do to get knighted now is be super hot?

yeah England newly changed the policy from super ugly to super hot.

Exception Collection: Came here

we all did

can she be on her knees instead? like she's being knighted? yeah just swinging a sword between her two shoulders slowly.

A Fark Handle: a sword between her two shoulders

Between is a good way to lose your head.

She's a lady...whoa-oh-oh, she's a lady

Dusk Til Dawn

It is a work of such magnitude that it will never be equaled, it is the greatest of all cinematic achievements.

BurnShrike: So all you have to do to get knighted now is be super hot?

Worked for Sean Connery.

If I was a chick, I'd go lesbo for her.

RexTalionis: Wouldn't that be Dame? Although, to be honest, I have no idea how honorifics go for the Legion of Honor.

I was thinking the same thing. It should be Dame.

Why are they rewarding her? Keynes was a much better economist.

I would gladly get on my knees for Lady Salma....

It is a bit odd to see a Mexican woman with a German last name knighted in France, but i'm not complaining.

BurnShrike: So all you have to do to get knighted now is be super hot?

She's married to a French billionaire who is, presumably, also titled. Considering that the Valois pioneered the selling of titles as an easy and meaningless way to get money out of the wealthy, I'm not too terribly surprised by this.

I think her ass is probably getting too big now that she is married, women with husbands let their asses grow really large, it's like "Okay now that I have you tethered for a couple of years let me show you how large my ass can really be."

And before you know it her ass is the size of the moon.

Women with marriages are like baseball players with long-term contracts, they are the moon and the stars before they sign the big contract but afterwards their asses get bigger with each passing day, until the ass takes up a good part of the living room and you find yourself saying "Excuse me" to her enormous ass, pretty soon you are thinking of building a separate house just for her ass.

So then you find yourself looking for a girl whose ass does not have a gravitational pull and you find yourself paying a divorce attorney $475 an hour.

This guy fell in love with Salma Hayek's tits but pretty soon he will rue the gravitational pull of her ass.

Marcus Aurelius: She's a kiniggit?

That's actually the way that word is pronounced in Old English. That quite possibly might be the most obscure in-joke ever put into a comedy film.

KaisertheCoyote: I would gladly get on my knees for Lady Salma....

me too...have to get in line behind Tarantino however...


It is a bit odd to see a Mexican woman with a German last name knighted in France, but i'm not complaining.

The name and her ancestry are actually Lebanese.

TravisBickle62: I think her ass is probably getting too big now that she is married, women with husbands let their asses grow really large, it's like "Okay now that I have you tethered for a couple of years let me show you how large my ass can really be."

And before you know it her ass is the size of the moon.

Women with marriages are like baseball players with long-term contracts, they are the moon and the stars before they sign the big contract but afterwards their asses get bigger with each passing day, until the ass takes up a good part of the living room and you find yourself saying "Excuse me" to her enormous ass, pretty soon you are thinking of building a separate house just for her ass.

So then you find yourself looking for a girl whose ass does not have a gravitational pull and you find yourself paying a divorce attorney $475 an hour.

This guy fell in love with Salma Hayek's tits but pretty soon he will rue the gravitational pull of her ass.

Maybe the reason your wife divorced you is because you obviously hate women. If you hate them so much, maybe promising to spend your life with one wasn't such a great idea. Also, you sound fat.

RexTalionis: Wouldn't that be Dame? Although, to be honest, I have no idea how honorifics go for the Legion of Honor.

I'm going with "Sir Salma Hayek". As in "Please, Sir, may I have another!"

Cold shower! Cold Shower! Cold shower! Oh to hell with it of to bed....now where is the ky. Lol

tsk tsk tsk... That poor woman must have horrible back problems. I think she should get a breast reduction

She really does have a quite magnificent chest.

Not sure if she can use the title in France, but in Britain you can only use Sir/Dame if you're a British subject. Otherwise it's just an honor.

TravisBickle62: I think her ass is probably getting too big now that she is married, women with husbands let their asses grow really large, it's like "Okay now that I have you tethered for a couple of years let me show you how large my ass can really be."

And before you know it her ass is the size of the moon.

Women with marriages are like baseball players with long-term contracts, they are the moon and the stars before they sign the big contract but afterwards their asses get bigger with each passing day, until the ass takes up a good part of the living room and you find yourself saying "Excuse me" to her enormous ass, pretty soon you are thinking of building a separate house just for her ass.

So then you find yourself looking for a girl whose ass does not have a gravitational pull and you find yourself paying a divorce attorney $475 an hour.

This guy fell in love with Salma Hayek's tits but pretty soon he will rue the gravitational pull of her ass.

I'm pretty sure if SH was my wife my tongue would feel the gravitational pull of her ass. Or at least, that's what I'd tell her, because her ass must be eaten.

Heron: Marcus Aurelius: She's a kiniggit?

That's actually the way that word is pronounced in Old English. That quite possibly might be the most obscure in-joke ever put into a comedy film.

Wow, it seems you may speak truth. I entered a Salma Hayek thread, and I left with not just a tentpole, but a bit of knowledge, too.

/what can't Salma do?

Representative of the unwashed masses: tsk tsk tsk... That poor woman must have horrible back problems. I think she should get a breast reduction

notsureifserious.jpg

That's like punching God in the face, man....

TravisBickle62: I think her ass is probably getting too big now that she is married, women with husbands let their asses grow really large, it's like "Okay now that I have you tethered for a couple of years let me show you how large my ass can really be."

And before you know it her ass is the size of the moon.

Women with marriages are like baseball players with long-term contracts, they are the moon and the stars before they sign the big contract but afterwards their asses get bigger with each passing day, until the ass takes up a good part of the living room and you find yourself saying "Excuse me" to her enormous ass, pretty soon you are thinking of building a separate house just for her ass.

So then you find yourself looking for a girl whose ass does not have a gravitational pull and you find yourself paying a divorce attorney $475 an hour.

This guy fell in love with Salma Hayek's tits but pretty soon he will rue the gravitational pull of her ass.


Salma Hayek getting frumpier after we get married is almost the perfect example of a problem I wish I had.

You know, she said that her tits developed later than the rest of her class. When her family traveled to a Mexican chapel, she pulled the "I forgot something" and ran back in, praying to get her tits.

She discussed it on the Graham Norton talk show, if you don't believe me. She was on there with Antonio Banderas.

Bagelox-99: The name and her ancestry are actually Lebanese.

So what if she likes chicks? That just makes her even hotter in my eyes.

Suffocating in that rack would be the best death ever.

Prior recipients include Clint Eastwood, Robert Redford, Jerry Lewis and Robert De Niro.

Seriously? None of these guys are even a little French.