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(Celebslam)   Jessica Alba had a baby in August and looks like this in a bikini now   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 145
    More: Hero, Jessica Alba  
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21583 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Jan 2012 at 12:48 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-03 05:00:32 PM  
All we want to say, ladies, is that you are a complete waste of space if you cannot look good in a bikini six months after giving birth. Your man deserves better. It doesn't matter that he's got a gut and is losing his hair. Any man worth anything will have bikini-hot babes just crawling all over him.
 
2012-01-03 05:14:07 PM  
Are they saying she wasn't hot while she was pregnant?

Iblis824: Its pretty easy to get back into shape when you have personal trainers, dietitians, nearly unlimited money, and free time.


It was pretty easy for me without all that. But then again, I have no idea what it's like to in throes of ecstasy because tasty food is being eaten. And I like to walk places, especially really steep hills that make your legs burn.
 
2012-01-03 05:14:38 PM  
My best friend is giving birth today (yay!) Pregnancy has certainly changed her body, and I don't think it will look the same as before she gave birth. I've seen it before. Another good friend is totally fit (she did a triathalon last Fall), but has much wider hips and loser skin around her midsection now that she's a mom.

Different women respond differently to pregnancy. My mother's boobs got ginormous and never went back even after she lost the weight (she ended up getting a breast reduction). But I think most of my friends complain that their butts and stomachs don't look the same after pregnancy, even if they had a "fit" pregnancy. But some women I know look even better after pregnancy as they are more "filled out".

Alba is a celebrity. She has all the money (and reason) in the world to get back in great shape. If she doesn't, she's out of a job.

Ladies, let's not compare ourselves, shall we? Do your best to be healthy, and make sure you have a man who truly loves you no matter your size.

/oh yeah, we are on fark. If you aren't a size 4 you should just go kill yourself
 
2012-01-03 05:15:51 PM  
I think these girls would pass the bounce back test


us.acidcow.com

us.acidcow.com

us.acidcow.com

us.acidcow.com

us.acidcow.com
 
2012-01-03 05:32:14 PM  
I want to penis the vagina off of every female posted in this thread. Even the chubby one.

/especially the chubby one
 
2012-01-03 05:33:30 PM  

gridlocksammy: I think these girls would pass the bounce back test


[us.acidcow.com image 496x700]

[us.acidcow.com image 490x700]

[us.acidcow.com image 560x700]

[us.acidcow.com image 525x700]

[us.acidcow.com image 527x700]


I'd say they aced it.
 
2012-01-03 06:00:02 PM  
I once hiked 340 miles in about 30 days and lost six inches off my waist and 10 pounds of weight.

/Appalachian Trail
//No, you don't get pictures.
 
2012-01-03 06:08:42 PM  
I was expecting a crapload of muscle tone like Denise Richards was in her post baby Playboy shoot.
 
2012-01-03 06:10:30 PM  
I know there are a ton of attractive women out there, but Jessica will be on my celebrity list for quite some time. She definitely does it for me.
 
2012-01-03 06:32:09 PM  
I bet the pregnancy sex with her was off the hook.
 
2012-01-03 06:45:46 PM  

Lollipop165: /oh yeah, we are on fark. If you aren't a size 4 you should just go kill yourself


Come on, size 6 is fine.
 
2012-01-03 07:43:46 PM  
So many sexy women out there but which one to fark first!
 
2012-01-03 08:19:59 PM  
She looks like a mom. Big whoop. The fact that she was in "Good Luck Chuck" ruins her. She's tainted.
 
2012-01-03 08:21:27 PM  
www.jkrweb.com

Loved her in 'Sin City'. In my fantasy I am lassoed and forced to bring her to orgasm by tonguing her clitoris...with my tongue.

....on her clitoris
 
2012-01-03 08:46:23 PM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: She looks like a mom. Big whoop. The fact that she was in "Good Luck Chuck" ruins her. She's tainted.


If she was tainted, she wouldn't be a mom.
 
2012-01-03 09:05:30 PM  

your average maint. man: don't forget she has the herps, not the derps

 
2012-01-03 09:07:04 PM  
Now that's what I call a MILF!!!
 
2012-01-03 09:14:20 PM  
hurtyelbow.typepad.com
 
2012-01-03 09:15:04 PM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: She looks like a mom. Big whoop. The fact that she was in "Good Luck Chuck" ruins her. She's tainted.


You can't be serious. She's no more sullied for "GLC" than Sofia Vergara is for New Year's Eve ,Monica Bellucci for The Matrix Revolutions and Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl for...ummm...innumerable...bland...inane ....rom coms ....On second thought,disregard that last one.


The point is Jessica's a vivacious,fearless and scrumptious Latina who deserves all the adulation she's getting,dammit!



/Yes,yes....I know she won't fark me. *Grumble*
 
2012-01-03 09:29:07 PM  

Apos: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: She looks like a mom. Big whoop. The fact that she was in "Good Luck Chuck" ruins her. She's tainted.

You can't be serious. She's no more sullied for "GLC" than Sofia Vergara is for New Year's Eve ,Monica Bellucci for The Matrix Revolutions and Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl for...ummm...innumerable...bland...inane ....rom coms ....On second thought,disregard that last one.


The point is Jessica's a vivacious,fearless and scrumptious Latina who deserves all the adulation she's getting,dammit!



/Yes,yes....I know she won't fark me. *Grumble*


Whoops...sullied *by* GLC.



/diction friction
 
2012-01-03 09:59:24 PM  
Insecure hot women who complain about how self-conscious they are about their body are such a turn on. *yawn*
(she's fine to look at, as long as she doesn't start talking)
 
2012-01-03 10:54:41 PM  
Don't forget about motivation. Hit your weight and we'll give you a couple million to be in our movie. Miss your weight and we'll use one of the other 3,000 girls who are starving for the part. It takes balls for a B-lister to have a baby.
 
2012-01-03 11:00:19 PM  

RichardFowler: I'll never forget the first time I saw her... in that movie "Idle Hands". I thought who in the she devil is this creature? Hot as damn it. Anyone else?


I remember noticing her on an ad for a terrible series called Love Boat, The Next Wave. Idle Hands came not long after, and I was very impressed with how she was filling out. Dark Angel may not have been that great of a show, but I never missed it.
 
2012-01-03 11:16:52 PM  

RichardFowler: I'll never forget the first time I saw her... in that movie "Idle Hands". I thought who in the she devil is this creature? Hot as damn it. Anyone else?


Heck, I remember watching when she was a teen on Disney's "Flipper" and saying she'd grow into a mega hottie.
 
2012-01-04 12:34:32 AM  
Other jessica says hi

francais.softpicks.net
 
2012-01-04 12:36:52 AM  

J. Frank Parnell: PizzaJedi81: Rev. Skarekroe: She must work out.

And have a trainer, and enough money to be able to afford the time to spend working out. Don't forget the dietician, too!

It only takes 15-30 minutes a day of exercise to be in shape. Most people spend that much time staring off into space and digging around in their ear for wax each day. You don't need a trainer or equipment, either. I'll save you some money on a dietician, too, by revealing the arcane secret that fried food and pepsi are not good for you.

Women don't need to eat excessively when pregnant, and sitting on a couch all day is actually bad for them and the baby, yet both these things are what we're conditioned from birth to think pregnant women should do. It's not the pregnancy itself that 'ruins' womens bodies like they claim, but the lifestyle they choose to accept for 6 months.


It's not that simple. At ALL. Pregnancy farks with a woman's body. It's not a simple calories in/calories out equation. I only gained 10 or 15 pounds during my pregnancy, for instance, but two months after giving birth, and down to my pre-pregnancy weight, I still have this nasty little gut. Many, if not most of us do. Fat re-positions itself in the body, and it can be really hard to get your figure back, even if the numbers on the scale drop.
 
2012-01-04 06:41:43 AM  

WorLord: Anyone can be, and stay, in shape if they want to.


Absolutely. But it's a lot easier when you're unemployed and rich.
 
2012-01-04 06:52:20 AM  

DubyaHater: simple sugars


Ahh, simple sugars. Every cell in your body wants them for glycolysis, and every Internet-fattie-basher tells you they're bad.
 
2012-01-04 07:13:30 AM  

frepnog: someone is lying about how much they eat. and also about how much they work out. it is simply impossible to eat healthy, work out an hour a day and not lose some weight, unless all fat lost is turned to muscle. I am betting that is not the case.


No, it's not. Unless you have some magic power to consciously control all your metabolic processes, all you can do to vary your energy expenditure is physical activity. Excluding structured exercise, most people expend only about 20% of their total energy usage on physical activity -- which leaves about 80% of their daily energy use autonomically controlled. And even a full hour of running at 6-7 MPH, which most people would consider a fairly significant daily commitment, only burns about 500 extra calories.

Reducing your energy intake is more plausible, but it still depends on your body cooperating to some degree, and it's still necessary to eat even if you have plenty of fat. Not to mention the complications of hunger, social pressure, etc. that make decisions about energy intake less than straightforward.

Certainly lifestyle is a significant factor in weight management, and many people could make a real impact by eating less. But dismissing obesity as a simple lack of education and self-control is as ignorant and useless as a fattie pretending they can't do anything to influence their weight.
 
2012-01-04 08:11:37 AM  

profplump: DubyaHater: simple sugars

Ahh, simple sugars. Every cell in your body wants them for glycolysis, and every Internet-fattie-basher tells you they're bad.


Ahhh......retards on the internet. You think they can't type, yet they can still post on Fark. Of course your body needs sugar for energy. I'm glad you managed to look that up on Wikipedia before you posted. However, everything in moderation. Too much sugar, and you turn morbidly obese and your teeth rot out of your head. You should have kept on reading that Wikipedia entry prior to your posting.

/you sound fat and toothless
 
2012-01-04 08:44:55 AM  

profplump: Ahh, simple sugars. Every cell in your body wants them for glycolysis, and every Internet-fattie-basher tells you they're bad.


DubyaHater: Of course your body needs sugar for energy. I'm glad you managed to look that up on Wikipedia before you posted. However, everything in moderation. Too much sugar, and you turn morbidly obese and your teeth rot out of your head.


You guys do realize that "sugar" is about as vague as "alcohol", right? No? As in, if you really think all alcohol is alcohol, try getting drunk off methanol or isopropanol. Just make sure to call 911 immediately after ingestion and tell the nice dispatcher what you did -- and pray the ambulance doesn't get stuck in traffic.

Every cell in your body wants glucose. The sugar that makes you morbidly obese is fructose. The only cells that can metabolize fructose are in the liver, and in doing so fructose turns the liver into fois gras. As Lustig put it, "fructose is booze without the buzz".

Glucose is the stuff that makes up starch, the key dietary energy source for many of the healthiest countries in the world, including Japan. Fructose is a main component of sucrose and HFCS -- the two most commonly used sweeteners in America.

profplump: Unless you have some magic power to consciously control all your metabolic processes, all you can do to vary your energy expenditure is physical activity.


Actually you have a fair bit more control than that, but a key problem is that many people have very little idea of how bad their routines are -- or how their routines are tied to their metabolism. We really need a study on this, but the unhealthy people I know all have bad habits that extend beyond diet and substance abuse. Standing posture, walking pace, all the routine little things they do over the course of a day. . . "lazy" isn't just about lack of exercise, though of course that's huge. When someone's gait is a 2mph shuffle-step that never leaves the sidewalk, it's eventually going to turn into a waddle.
 
2012-01-04 09:00:03 AM  

Teenwolf: TofuTheAlmighty: wholedamnshow: J. Frank Parnell: It only takes 15-30 minutes a day of exercise to be in shape. Most people spend that much time staring off into space and digging around in their ear for wax each day. You don't need a trainer or equipment, either. I'll save you some money on a dietician, too, by revealing the arcane secret that fried food and pepsi are not good for you.

This....is not necessarily true. My gf weighs ~150lbs at 5'7". She put on about 25lbs over 3 years. She always worked out a little but now that we live across the street from a gym, she's there 6 times a week for over an hour each time. In the 13 months she's been doing that, she's lost 4lbs. And she eats very healthy too.

Define 'healthy.' Eating salad all the time does't mean you get to eat cupcakes all the time, too. Also, alcohol's got a bunch of empty calories. The key to losing weight isn't exercise, it's eating less.

Or she could have a thyroid problem but that'd probably manifest as general lethargy, too.

Aside from the eating thing (which TofuTheAlmighty and Cymbal both addressed accurately), there's also the muscle mass issue. It's entirely possible, if she started working out much more heavily than she used, that she lost a lot of fat while maintaining close to the same weight due to the extra muscle mass she's gaining. Not to imply you're dating a bodybuilder, but increased muscle tone accross the whole body does add an appreciable amount of weight. With this 4 pound loss, does she also look remarkable trimmer and/or has gone down dress sizes? This would mean she's lost fat and gained muscle.

Or she could be spending that half hour every day blowing one of the trainers behind the gym, which is a nice skill to have but doesn't translate to weight loss.

/had to say something snarky


I agree that it's probably muscle weight. I started working out 6 months ago, lost over 4% of my body fat but have only lost around 10 pounds. I went down a pant size and the weight loss is definitely noticeable.
 
2012-01-04 09:14:29 AM  
Nom.
goddessmag.com

Nomnomnom.

just sayin'.
 
2012-01-04 11:19:18 AM  
Actually you have a fair bit more control than that, but a key problem is that many people have very little idea of how bad their routines are -- or how their routines are tied to their metabolism. We really need a study on this, but the unhealthy people I know all have bad habits that extend beyond diet and substance abuse. Standing posture, walking pace, all the routine little things they do over the course of a day. . . "lazy" isn't just about lack of exercise, though of course that's huge. When someone's gait is a 2mph shuffle-step that never leaves the sidewalk, it's eventually going to turn into a waddle.

QFT.

Staying in shape is about WAY more than "working out", although that is of paramount importance. For instance, I am in WAY better shape than I was in high school and I'll be 41 in February. Why? Because I made the decision years ago that everyday would be an opportunity to HIT IT and MOVE. Not just going to the gym, but in everything. Going to the grocery store? Cool- make it an opportunity to get some exercise. And while you're there- STEP AWAY FROM THE DORITOS!!
 
2012-01-04 11:21:54 AM  

darch: Because I made the decision years ago that everyday would be an opportunity to HIT IT and MOVE.


And what's your opnion on Hitting It and Quitting It?
 
2012-01-04 12:32:32 PM  

darch: I made the decision years ago that everyday would be an opportunity to HIT IT and MOVE. Not just going to the gym, but in everything. Going to the grocery store? Cool- make it an opportunity to get some exercise. And while you're there- STEP AWAY FROM THE DORITOS!!


That's obvious, but I'm referring to more subtle habits. When I vacuum the house, I'm pretty thorough. But I also hate it so I try to do it as quickly as possible. There's an OCD element to it, but pick your way through furniture for half an hour and you'll actually work up a pretty good sweat. If it's 1-2 floors I generally take the stairs to save time because it's faster than waiting for the elevator, but moving briskly through stairwells gets your heart rate up in a matter of seconds. I deliberately keep no food or drink (except water) in any room except the kitchen so I'd have to get up if I wanted to eat or drink anything. It minimizes snacking and means every snack requires climbing the stairs. Little stuff like that.

Walking three miles to a store isn't always practical if you're busy. But even doing the EXACT SAME THINGS that everyone else does over the course of a day, people who do things "the hard way" are constantly burning energy. They also tend to live a long time.
 
2012-01-04 01:06:39 PM  

PizzaJedi81: darch: Because I made the decision years ago that everyday would be an opportunity to HIT IT and MOVE.

And what's your opnion on Hitting It and Quitting It?


It's the preferred method of dating, similar to the NWA method of dating.
 
2012-01-04 01:06:48 PM  
Walking three miles to a store isn't always practical if you're busy. But even doing the EXACT SAME THINGS that everyone else does over the course of a day, people who do things "the hard way" are constantly burning energy. They also tend to live a long time.

Which is pretty much what I am saying and how I approach things.
 
2012-01-04 01:12:00 PM  

profplump: WorLord: Anyone can be, and stay, in shape if they want to.

Absolutely. But it's a lot easier when you're unemployed and rich.


No, it is not. It is exactly the same amount of effort either way, and even the poorest among us can afford healthy food in proper portions.

Stop pretending that "zomg rich actress" actually has anything to do with it. It doesn't.
 
2012-01-04 02:10:37 PM  

darch: Walking three miles to a store isn't always practical if you're busy. But even doing the EXACT SAME THINGS that everyone else does over the course of a day, people who do things "the hard way" are constantly burning energy. They also tend to live a long time.

Which is pretty much what I am saying and how I approach things.


I walk this far everyday, uphill in the snow, both ways, to work. (actually, I walk a little less than this to a bus stop, without a significant hill or any snow -- but it's through a ghetto, so my heart rate is real high)

if poverty and fatness are related, it has more to do with poor health education and a lack of knowledge of how to eat/cook then poverty alone. grains are all cheap and good for you, so are vegetables. lot's of healthy food is very cheap.

however, most cheap food you can get at a restaurant is not good for you.
 
2012-01-04 04:19:43 PM  
Alba > Biel

SUCK IT
 
2012-01-04 04:25:03 PM  

Eternal Virgin: Alba > Biel

SUCK IT


They taking turns or both at once, because I'm good either way.
 
2012-01-04 06:28:40 PM  

Eternal Virgin: Alba > Biel

SUCK IT


If we ever score a double date with them, you can have Alba and I'll just have to rough it with Biel.
I'm okay with that.
 
2012-01-04 07:50:19 PM  

Eternal Virgin: Alba > Biel

SUCK IT


....Is '>' the new universal symbol for 'ass to ass'? If so, I'd watch that.
 
2012-01-04 08:11:56 PM  

Saturn5: If we ever score a double date with them, you can have Alba and I'll just have to rough it with Biel.
I'm okay with that.


I'd have it rough with them, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
 
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