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(Celebslam)   Jessica Alba had a baby in August and looks like this in a bikini now   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 145
    More: Hero, Jessica Alba  
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21581 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Jan 2012 at 12:48 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-03 02:10:17 PM

Teenwolf: Apos: Oh, I think Kate Beckinsale gives JB a good bum-er,run-for her money.

This statement is 100% approved by NAD (National Dyslexics Association).




*Shrug* Yeah,I'm not at my most eloquent today.
 
2012-01-03 02:14:30 PM

darch: ...I generally can't stand smug pregnant women...


Pregnant Women are Smug, by Garfunkel and Oates.
 
2012-01-03 02:21:28 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Some girls just have that body. Some girls are just naturally heavy, the reverse is also true.


I am confused by your post. You did not provide examples of both body types. Now I have an unrealistic expectation of body shape.
 
2012-01-03 02:24:46 PM

darch: the lifestyle they choose to accept for 6 months.


I've accepted - niegh - embraced that lifestyle for nearly 15 years.
Oh God, I've wasted my life...

www.badhaven.com
 
2012-01-03 02:24:49 PM
I just spent a few days with my sister-in-law, the mother of 3, whom I haven't seen in a while.

I've known her since the early 90's and when we first met, SMOKIN' hot- now? HOT LUMPY MESS. Why? Not because she had three children, but because she ate like a horse during those pregnancies. And continues to. She used being pregnant as an excuse to eat for 9. Can't say I feel bad for her. She did it to herself.

She's also from Ohio. I think folks there are genetically predisposed to that.
 
2012-01-03 02:25:40 PM
J. Frank Parnell: It only takes 15-30 minutes a day of exercise to be in shape. Most people spend that much time staring off into space and digging around in their ear for wax each day. You don't need a trainer or equipment, either. I'll save you some money on a dietician, too, by revealing the arcane secret that fried food and pepsi are not good for you.

Glad at least three or four people in this thread aren't making bullshiat excuses.

The "time / trainer / funds / dietician" claptrap is not valid. Anyone can be, and stay, in shape if they want to. Yes, even you, with the busy schedule and hardly any money. Yes, you too, with the newborn.
 
2012-01-03 02:33:35 PM

Dictatorial_Flair: Gaining eighty pounds because you got pregnant and never losing half of it is not normal, or healthy. It's just American.


But but but, being pregnant means I'm eating for 2!!! I can have Big Macs for every meal! That's, like, each of the food groups in one sandwich!

;)
 
2012-01-03 02:34:50 PM
She must have been huge while pregnant because that kid's melon is GIGANTIC.

/This also speaks volumes about how big her vagina would have been had she birthed it. Probably got the C-section so she can still use it to get jobs in Hollywood.
//That's how it works right?
 
2012-01-03 02:38:57 PM

J. Frank Parnell: It only takes 15-30 minutes a day of exercise to be in shape. Most people spend that much time staring off into space and digging around in their ear for wax each day. You don't need a trainer or equipment, either. I'll save you some money on a dietician, too, by revealing the arcane secret that fried food and pepsi are not good for you.


This....is not necessarily true. My gf weighs ~150lbs at 5'7". She put on about 25lbs over 3 years. She always worked out a little but now that we live across the street from a gym, she's there 6 times a week for over an hour each time. In the 13 months she's been doing that, she's lost 4lbs. And she eats very healthy too.
 
2012-01-03 02:39:34 PM
don't forget she has the herps, not the derps
 
2012-01-03 02:47:10 PM

your average maint. man: don't forget she has the herps, not the derps

But she lost the bleeps, the sweeps and the creeps.
 
2012-01-03 02:47:40 PM

Elzar: My wife lost weight after she had our first child (as in immediately following the birth she was several pounds lighter then her pre-pregnancy weight). Normal weight child, and no complications - some folks just luck out I guess...


Lucky gal. I gained a whole lot of water after I gave birth. I had the feet of an elephant for nearly three months. I also had a c-section so I sat around quite a bit and in the boredom of that, I ate a shiat ton of praline almonds. Oops!

/got a Kinect for xmas to take it all off again
 
2012-01-03 02:50:53 PM
About pregnancy weight: My wife is somewhat underweight, so for both of her pregnancies, she was advised to gain more than typical weight, which is, if I remember correctly (And please correct me if I am mistaken.), about 25 pounds. She was told to gain 40ish. After both pregnancies, she lost the weight by the time both kids were done breastfeeding.

/CSB? Sure, why not.
 
2012-01-03 02:52:44 PM

wholedamnshow: J. Frank Parnell: It only takes 15-30 minutes a day of exercise to be in shape. Most people spend that much time staring off into space and digging around in their ear for wax each day. You don't need a trainer or equipment, either. I'll save you some money on a dietician, too, by revealing the arcane secret that fried food and pepsi are not good for you.

This....is not necessarily true. My gf weighs ~150lbs at 5'7". She put on about 25lbs over 3 years. She always worked out a little but now that we live across the street from a gym, she's there 6 times a week for over an hour each time. In the 13 months she's been doing that, she's lost 4lbs. And she eats very healthy too.


Define 'healthy.' Eating salad all the time does't mean you get to eat cupcakes all the time, too. Also, alcohol's got a bunch of empty calories. The key to losing weight isn't exercise, it's eating less.

Or she could have a thyroid problem but that'd probably manifest as general lethargy, too.
 
2012-01-03 03:00:22 PM

wholedamnshow: J. Frank Parnell: It only takes 15-30 minutes a day of exercise to be in shape. Most people spend that much time staring off into space and digging around in their ear for wax each day. You don't need a trainer or equipment, either. I'll save you some money on a dietician, too, by revealing the arcane secret that fried food and pepsi are not good for you.

This....is not necessarily true. My gf weighs ~150lbs at 5'7". She put on about 25lbs over 3 years. She always worked out a little but now that we live across the street from a gym, she's there 6 times a week for over an hour each time. In the 13 months she's been doing that, she's lost 4lbs. And she eats very healthy too.


What's your definition of eating healthy? If it consists of Lean Cuisine and diet drinks, it's not healthy.

Most women don't need to exercise much at all to maintain thinness. Way more important to eat whole fruits and veggies, and cut down on salty, fatty, sweet, and processed stuff.
 
2012-01-03 03:04:14 PM

TofuTheAlmighty: Or she could have a thyroid problem but that'd probably manifest as general lethargy, too.


I've met too many women who seem to think that they have thyroid problems.

I might even agree if their appearance didn't allude to the belief that their thyroid is located in their ass.
 
2012-01-03 03:08:01 PM

wholedamnshow: J. Frank Parnell: It only takes 15-30 minutes a day of exercise to be in shape. Most people spend that much time staring off into space and digging around in their ear for wax each day. You don't need a trainer or equipment, either. I'll save you some money on a dietician, too, by revealing the arcane secret that fried food and pepsi are not good for you.

This....is not necessarily true. My gf weighs ~150lbs at 5'7". She put on about 25lbs over 3 years. She always worked out a little but now that we live across the street from a gym, she's there 6 times a week for over an hour each time. In the 13 months she's been doing that, she's lost 4lbs. And she eats very healthy too.


someone is lying about how much they eat. and also about how much they work out. it is simply impossible to eat healthy, work out an hour a day and not lose some weight, unless all fat lost is turned to muscle. I am betting that is not the case.
 
2012-01-03 03:08:19 PM

Shaggy_C: I am confused by your post. You did not provide examples of both body types. Now I have an unrealistic expectation of body shape.


So sorry my friend!! Let me help

skinny:

img267.imageshack.us


mid range:
img560.imageshack.us
img857.imageshack.us

tons of fun:
img233.imageshack.us
img839.imageshack.us
 
2012-01-03 03:09:10 PM

jennyz: Dictatorial_Flair: Gaining eighty pounds because you got pregnant and never losing half of it is not normal, or healthy. It's just American.

But but but, being pregnant means I'm eating for 2!!! I can have Big Macs for every meal! That's, like, each of the food groups in one sandwich!

;)


The fact that one of you has a weight measured in ounces for the first six months or so obviously does not factor into that.

/How you doin'?
//lulz
 
2012-01-03 03:09:48 PM

TofuTheAlmighty: wholedamnshow: J. Frank Parnell: It only takes 15-30 minutes a day of exercise to be in shape. Most people spend that much time staring off into space and digging around in their ear for wax each day. You don't need a trainer or equipment, either. I'll save you some money on a dietician, too, by revealing the arcane secret that fried food and pepsi are not good for you.

This....is not necessarily true. My gf weighs ~150lbs at 5'7". She put on about 25lbs over 3 years. She always worked out a little but now that we live across the street from a gym, she's there 6 times a week for over an hour each time. In the 13 months she's been doing that, she's lost 4lbs. And she eats very healthy too.

Define 'healthy.' Eating salad all the time does't mean you get to eat cupcakes all the time, too. Also, alcohol's got a bunch of empty calories. The key to losing weight isn't exercise, it's eating less.

Or she could have a thyroid problem but that'd probably manifest as general lethargy, too.


Aside from the eating thing (which TofuTheAlmighty and Cymbal both addressed accurately), there's also the muscle mass issue. It's entirely possible, if she started working out much more heavily than she used, that she lost a lot of fat while maintaining close to the same weight due to the extra muscle mass she's gaining. Not to imply you're dating a bodybuilder, but increased muscle tone accross the whole body does add an appreciable amount of weight. With this 4 pound loss, does she also look remarkable trimmer and/or has gone down dress sizes? This would mean she's lost fat and gained muscle.

Or she could be spending that half hour every day blowing one of the trainers behind the gym, which is a nice skill to have but doesn't translate to weight loss.

/had to say something snarky
 
2012-01-03 03:19:34 PM
Finally, a skinny chick thread
 
2012-01-03 03:19:38 PM

frepnog: someone is lying about how much they eat. and also about how much they work out. it is simply impossible to eat healthy, work out an hour a day and not lose some weight, unless all fat lost is turned to muscle. I am betting that is not the case.


Or you don't know wtf you're talking about. Considering I'm at the gym with her 90% of those times, and I eat two meals a day with her, I have a really farking good idea how often she works out and what she eats.
 
2012-01-03 03:20:02 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Shaggy_C: I am confused by your post. You did not provide examples of both body types. Now I have an unrealistic expectation of body shape.

So sorry my friend!! Let me help

skinny:

[img267.imageshack.us image 600x799]


mid range:
[img560.imageshack.us image 575x400]
[img857.imageshack.us image 600x883]

tons of fun:
[img233.imageshack.us image 540x761]
[img839.imageshack.us image 640x1054]


I like where this thread is going.
 
2012-01-03 03:20:53 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: gunga galunga: Yeah, keep on drooling. But none of you seem to realize that she has her own personal trainers, dieticians and shiatload of money to boot.

Some girls just have that body. Some girls are just naturally heavy, the reverse is also true.

[img441.imageshack.us image 399x598]
[img829.imageshack.us image 640x989]
[img829.imageshack.us image 586x640]
[img641.imageshack.us image 604x453]
[img812.imageshack.us image 600x429]
[img850.imageshack.us image 405x567]
[img440.imageshack.us image 640x511]
[img268.imageshack.us image 640x480]

And god bless 'em for showing it off!


Bravo!!!
 
2012-01-03 03:25:20 PM

Tom_Slick: Nice C-Section Scar


As long as she didn't mess up her vag giving birth, I'll let her have the privilege of sex with me.

Also, women don't need to gain 25 pounds having a baby. My buddy's wife ate nothing but bacon cheeseburgers and chocolate cake. It took its toll on her. If these pregnant women would just cook and clean more, they would burn the necessary calories.
 
2012-01-03 03:26:29 PM
Isn't being attractive her job?

Four Months after having our child, my wife was back to her pre-baby GIS Analysis form as well...
 
2012-01-03 03:26:52 PM

wholedamnshow: frepnog: someone is lying about how much they eat. and also about how much they work out. it is simply impossible to eat healthy, work out an hour a day and not lose some weight, unless all fat lost is turned to muscle. I am betting that is not the case.

Or you don't know wtf you're talking about. Considering I'm at the gym with her 90% of those times, and I eat two meals a day with her, I have a really farking good idea how often she works out and what she eats.


For all you know, she's kiestering twinkies and crisco 24/7.
 
2012-01-03 03:28:10 PM

Tat'dGreaser: Finally, a skinny chick thread


No kidding. It's nice to have a thread with babe pics and not have to see that fat redhead from Mad Men.
 
2012-01-03 03:28:48 PM

DubyaHater: Also, women don't need to gain 25 pounds having a baby


Oh? Really? (new window)

From the link: A woman of average weight before pregnancy should gain 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy. Underweight women should gain 28-40 pounds during pregnancy. Overweight women may need to gain only 15-25 pounds during pregnancy. You may need to gain more or less weight, depending on what your health care provider recommends.

Like I said previously, my underweight wife was advised to gain 35-40 pounds during her pregnancies. So...I'm thinking that your head is firmly entrench where the sun don't shine.
 
2012-01-03 03:30:36 PM

darkjezter: Tat'dGreaser: Finally, a skinny chick thread

No kidding. It's nice to have a thread with babe pics and not have to see that fat redhead from Mad Men.


Who? Her?

images.askmen.com
 
2012-01-03 03:31:29 PM
Heidi Klum wins for the ultimate body bounce back.

See females! All you need to do is work harder!
 
2012-01-03 03:32:06 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-01-03 03:33:03 PM
Giving birth was the best weight loss EVAR - bam! 40 lbs in two days, book it done. THAT was a rewarding experience and allayed a lot of fears. I'm still about 10 over my prepregnancy weight, but, eh, it'll come off. I'm not in a huge rush.

And I don't want to hear daddy dearest say one word about my weight because his has crept up like a ninja. That magic fat that you don't see until you catch your ass in a reflection one day and go 'daaayyuumm, whose ass is that?'. You wouldn't believe how he harped on me about my weight during the pregnancy either. Tubbo ought to look in the mirror. He's not really a tubbo, but, still, he's not exactly in the best shape of his life when he was so paranoid that I would become a blimp.

Check yourself before you torture your women, guys. Yes, she KNOWS she's putting on weight. She KNOWS how much she's putting on. She cries inwardly and probably outwardly anytime someone puts her on a scale and she hates herself. Really. She doesn't need to hear a word from you about it...especially if you don't practice good habits yourself.
 
2012-01-03 03:35:52 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Heidi Klum wins for the ultimate body bounce back.

See females! All you need to do is work harder!


I've wanted to nail Heidi Klum ever since I was 16 years old and I saw her in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Those pics only reaffirm that dream.
 
2012-01-03 03:36:23 PM

Iblis824: Its pretty easy to get back into shape when you have personal trainers, dietitians, nearly unlimited money, and free time.


It's not that difficult without it, quit making excuses.
 
2012-01-03 03:40:37 PM

wholedamnshow: frepnog: someone is lying about how much they eat. and also about how much they work out. it is simply impossible to eat healthy, work out an hour a day and not lose some weight, unless all fat lost is turned to muscle. I am betting that is not the case.

Or you don't know wtf you're talking about. Considering I'm at the gym with her 90% of those times, and I eat two meals a day with her, I have a really farking good idea how often she works out and what she eats.


She could be sneaking in some unhealthy snacks while she is away from you. How big are her purses usually? They so small you could lube it up and use it as a portable vagina, or are they large enough to store a few Hungry Mans?
 
2012-01-03 03:45:23 PM

wholedamnshow: frepnog: someone is lying about how much they eat. and also about how much they work out. it is simply impossible to eat healthy, work out an hour a day and not lose some weight, unless all fat lost is turned to muscle. I am betting that is not the case.

Or you don't know wtf you're talking about. Considering I'm at the gym with her 90% of those times, and I eat two meals a day with her, I have a really farking good idea how often she works out and what she eats.


unless you are with her absolutely every minute of every day.... dude, it is simply impossible to eat healthy, work out an hour a day and lose 4 pounds in a year. it. is. just. impossible.

she is eating more than you know, and probably nothing but junk at that. or perhaps slugging down a couple of large foamy latte's with a few thousand calories each a day. something just doesn't add up. no one's metabolism is so bad that working out and eating right will prevent you from losing weight.
 
2012-01-03 03:48:32 PM
I can't see any of the pics in this thread. If only there was a way to check back on this exact thread once I am at home...
 
2012-01-03 03:50:54 PM
P.S. i have a friend who's body just bounced back after having kid number 2. It's not alwsys money+trainer=slammin. Sometimes it's hardwork+genetics.

/My body isn't too terribly different after my 2 kids either. Granted, I am their father, but still.
 
2012-01-03 03:51:20 PM

frepnog: she is eating more than you know, and probably nothing but junk at that. or perhaps slugging down a couple of large foamy latte's with a few thousand calories each a day. something just doesn't add up. no one's metabolism is so bad that working out and eating right will prevent you from losing weight.


She's also sleeping around but since she just lies there like a dead fish doesn't burn off any extra calories doing it.
 
2012-01-03 03:55:24 PM
Jeezus. Her tits look like a road map of Stockholm.
 
2012-01-03 04:00:51 PM

PizzaJedi81: DubyaHater: Also, women don't need to gain 25 pounds having a baby

Oh? Really? (new window)

From the link: A woman of average weight before pregnancy should gain 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy. Underweight women should gain 28-40 pounds during pregnancy. Overweight women may need to gain only 15-25 pounds during pregnancy. You may need to gain more or less weight, depending on what your health care provider recommends.

Like I said previously, my underweight wife was advised to gain 35-40 pounds during her pregnancies. So...I'm thinking that your head is firmly entrench where the sun don't shine.


Don't pick and choose your quotes. From your FA....

It is not necessary to "eat for two" during pregnancy. It's true that you need extra calories from nutrient-rich foods to help your baby grow, but you generally need to consume only 100 to 300 more calories than you did before you became pregnant to meet the needs of your growing baby.

It is unnecessary to eat a poor diet and just put on unhealthy weight because you need to "eat for two". Eating saturated fats and simple sugars will add unhealthy weight and be detrimental to your teeth and overall health. The weight added because of a growing fetus is one thing, but blowing up your waistline is another issue.

/reading comprehension and critical thinking
//try it sometime.
 
2012-01-03 04:04:01 PM
Probably because she's done more sit-ups in the past week than most Farkettes will do in a lifetime.
 
2012-01-03 04:09:11 PM

socodog: Jeezus. Her tits look like a road map of Stockholm.


i44.tinypic.com
 
2012-01-03 04:12:25 PM

DubyaHater: /reading comprehension and critical thinking
//try it sometime.


Really? I was responding to YOUR statement about how many pounds of weight need to be gained during pregnancy, and that is all. I was making to assertions as to dietary habits, caloric intake or any other such thing. I was talking about weight gain in (Unless it's en.) toto. So how about you step up off my bid'ness, 'kay?
 
2012-01-03 04:13:03 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: socodog: Jeezus. Her tits look like a road map of Stockholm.

[i44.tinypic.com image 640x834]


I wish I were there.
 
2012-01-03 04:16:15 PM
I know this is going to sound like a strange, foreign idea

but you know..

when you're rich

and are essentially paid to look good

and weren't ever overweight to begin with

and have handlers keeping you eating right and working hard

well

yeah

of course you're going to bounce back in good time and be exactly who you were.

/i realize this thread is about looking at Jessica Alba in a bikini
//but the whole "zomg she not hideous after shiatting out a kid"
///as if it wasn't ever her profession to be pretty
 
2012-01-03 04:18:46 PM

PizzaJedi81: darkjezter: Tat'dGreaser: Finally, a skinny chick thread

No kidding. It's nice to have a thread with babe pics and not have to see that fat redhead from Mad Men.

Who? Her?

[images.askmen.com image 376x490]


If only I could minateurize myself and reside between those ample mounds....
 
2012-01-03 04:19:14 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Heidi Klum wins for the ultimate body bounce back.

See females! All you need to do is work harder!


She looks nice with clothes on. However, popping out the kids have have taken a toll on her once perky breasts (new window NSFW)
 
2012-01-03 04:26:03 PM
Why would i want to see what Jessica Alba's baby looks like in a bikini, subby? You're sick.
 
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