FARK.com: (6857058) Herman Cain's qualifications for Secretary of Defense include serving several dangerous tours in the Omaha province and braving the streets of NYC to take a tour of the Intrepid

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		Herman Cain's qualifications for Secretary of Defense include serving several dangerous tours in the Omaha province and braving the streets of NYC to take a tour of the Intrepid (cbsnews.com)		152
		More: Fail, Herman Cain, United States Secretary of Defense, NYC, Bob Schieffer, Norah O'Donnell, White House correspondent

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2316 clicks; posted to Politics » on 03 Jan 2012 at 1:59 PM | Favorite | share:

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Pocket Ninja		2012-01-03 12:01:08 PM

Actually, surviving any sort of extended stay in the mind-numbing tedium that is Omaha is worth some sort of distinction. I don't know about Secretary of Defense, but maybe a shiny medal or something. A small one, I mean, maybe like those little ribbons that soldiers wear on their chests. I mean, not as big as the one for making it through, say, Cleveland or someplace like that, but, you know, something.

WTF Indeed		2012-01-03 12:09:41 PM

Herman Cain: "I'm in your race, messing up your nomination."
GOP: "Not if we have anything to say about it."
Cain: "Man, I forgot how many b*tches I've had. Bye."
GOP: "Good, now that he's gone we can start being the voice of the Republican Party an."
Cain: "Hey guys, remember me?"
GOP: "FFFFFUUUUUUUU"

what_now		2012-01-03 12:12:14 PM

I've banged a lot of soldiers. I should be the head of the VA.

Pocket Ninja		2012-01-03 12:15:37 PM

what_now: I've banged a lot of soldiers. I should be the head of the VA.

I used this exact same line of reasoning in my application as National Director for the GSA. Still pending, we'll see.

Lionel Mandrake		2012-01-03 12:16:55 PM

I've smoked a lot of pot and drunk a lot of booze. Is there a leadership position for me at the DEA or the ATF?

TheKnownUniverse		2012-01-03 12:18:58 PM

Pocket Ninja: Actually, surviving any sort of extended stay in the mind-numbing tedium that is Omaha is worth some sort of distinction. I don't know about Secretary of Defense, but maybe a shiny medal or something. A small one, I mean, maybe like those little ribbons that soldiers wear on their chests. I mean, not as big as the one for making it through, say, Cleveland or someplace like that, but, you know, something.

I grew up in Omaha, I should be president of the world.

Pocket Ninja		2012-01-03 12:26:29 PM

TheKnownUniverse: I grew up in Omaha, I should be president of the world.

I'll join your SuperPAC.

(haven't seen you around these parts in a long time! happy new year, etc etc)

Quasar		2012-01-03 12:41:16 PM

You mean the Inderpid.

TheKnownUniverse		2012-01-03 12:48:03 PM

Pocket Ninja: TheKnownUniverse: I grew up in Omaha, I should be president of the world.

I'll join your SuperPAC.

(haven't seen you around these parts in a long time! happy new year, etc etc)

Word. I shall reward you with an ambassadorship to the bar of your choice.

Good to see you! I post once in a while, but somebody sponsored me and it runs out in a few days, so I'm trying to wring out droplets from my sweaty brassiere of wisdom all over TF before it expires.

Rapmaster2000		2012-01-03 12:48:50 PM

Remember, I'm the unconventional candidate with unconventional ideas."

Branding.

mitchcumstein1		2012-01-03 12:52:10 PM

what_now: I've banged a lot of soldiers. I should be the head of the VA.

Aim high, keep getting around and go for SecDef.

thomps		2012-01-03 12:52:23 PM

TheKnownUniverse: Pocket Ninja: TheKnownUniverse: I grew up in Omaha, I should be president of the world.

I'll join your SuperPAC.

(haven't seen you around these parts in a long time! happy new year, etc etc)

Word. I shall reward you with an ambassadorship to the bar of your choice.

Good to see you! I post once in a while, but somebody sponsored me and it runs out in a few days, so I'm trying to wring out droplets from my sweaty brassiere of wisdom all over TF before it expires.

you should probably concentrate more on getting a second brassiere for when your first one is sweaty. or maybe some powder to toss down there.

mrshowrules		2012-01-03 01:00:52 PM

What I've learned from this thread: Omaha is America's Saskatchewan

thomps		2012-01-03 01:02:21 PM

mrshowrules: What I've learned from this thread: Omaha is America's Saskatchewan

saskatchewan must be a wonderful place.

Because People in power are Stupid		2012-01-03 01:10:40 PM

I bet he could get a lot of trim as the Secretary of D'fence

cameroncrazy1984		2012-01-03 01:11:21 PM

mrshowrules: What I've learned from this thread: Omaha is America's Saskatchewan

What I've learned from this thread: TKU has a sweat problem.

TheKnownUniverse		2012-01-03 01:15:44 PM

thomps: you should probably concentrate more on getting a second brassiere for when your first one is sweaty. or maybe some powder to toss down there.

I do use powder. I save the sticky clumps of talc to affix David Cassidy posters to my dorm room wall.

Anyway, Cain is a douche and Omaha really isn't all that bad.

Diogenes		2012-01-03 01:16:19 PM

"Unconventional" is fine if you're Captain Kirk. Not Secretary of Defense.

And since when did "also rans" actively campaign for a specific cabinet position?

The egos on these people....

thomps		2012-01-03 01:21:52 PM

Diogenes: "Unconventional" is fine if you're Captain Kirk. Not Secretary of Defense.

And since when did "also rans" actively campaign for a specific cabinet position?

The egos on these people....

to be fair to herman, i don't think he's actively campaigning for anything, just defending his answer to a hypothetical question posed to him in an interview. that said, he does appear to have a fairly debilitating ego.

Diogenes		2012-01-03 01:31:23 PM

thomps: to be fair to herman, i don't think he's actively campaigning for anything,

True. And he's got to keep his presence known since he pulled the rip cord early.

thomps		2012-01-03 01:34:15 PM

Diogenes: thomps: to be fair to herman, i don't think he's actively campaigning for anything,

True. And he's got to keep his presence known since he pulled the rip cord early.

yeah i think this is just keeping the Q score up while he waits for fox news to make programming changes

keylock71		2012-01-03 01:42:36 PM

When asked if he endorsed any of the remaining candidates, Cain responded, "I'm not going to endorse anyone right now, but, when I do make an endorsement, it will be unconventional. Remember, I'm the unconventional candidate with unconventional ideas."

Give me a farking break...

It reads like a marketing message aimed at kindergarteners.

BKITU		2012-01-03 01:48:14 PM

I pay my rent on time every month. I should run HUD.

Diogenes		2012-01-03 01:57:15 PM

I remember where my relatives are buried. I should manage Arlington National Cemetary.

Jackson Herring		2012-01-03 02:02:08 PM

what_now: I've banged a lot of soldiers. I should be the head of the VA.

What a coincidence, I'm the CEO of InBev for similar reasons

Philip Francis Queeg		2012-01-03 02:02:32 PM

Pizza delivery and bombing raids have a great deal in common.

Lando Lincoln		2012-01-03 02:03:42 PM

I've spent a lot of time in bars. I've smoked at least a pack of cigarettes in my life, and probably about 2 boxes worth of cigars. And I've shot guns before. I think I'm qualified to be the Director of the ATF.

serpent_sky		2012-01-03 02:04:07 PM

keylock71: Give me a farking break...

It reads like a marketing message aimed at kindergarteners.

Which is unfortunately too high-brow for the IQ of anyone who takes this man seriously. He may want to aim for the three-year-old that just learned about "boogers" to really hit a target.

Shaggy_C		2012-01-03 02:05:22 PM

keylock71: It reads like a marketing message aimed at kindergarteners.

That kind of stuff goes over extremely well in corporate board rooms. Simple words that convey important and powerful messages - it's not wonder he worked his way up to CEO. Remember, this guy was also a Federal Reserve chairman and a rocket scientist in his career as well - he's no idiot. His message is crafted very carefully.

Emposter		2012-01-03 02:06:18 PM

I live in Baltimore...I'm pretty sure that makes me some sort of hybrid of Rambo and Conan the Barbarian. What medal do I get for that?

CitizenTed		2012-01-03 02:06:39 PM

When I was in middle school I drew color pictures of all the flags of the world, including Rhodesia when it still had white people and the flag had a big R on it.

That's why I think I should be US envoy to the UN.

xsarien		2012-01-03 02:07:29 PM

Philip Francis Queeg: Pizza delivery and bombing raids have a great deal in common.

Ideal delivery is in 30 minutes or less?

skullkrusher		2012-01-03 02:07:34 PM

if there is any job in the world he is less qualified than President for, it's probably Sec of Defense

Transpogue		2012-01-03 02:08:42 PM

"When asked if he endorsed any of the remaining candidates, Cain responded, "I'm not going to endorse anyone right now, but, when I do make an endorsement, it will be unconventional. Remember, I'm the unconventional candidate with unconventional ideas."

Oh, fark you.

You'll wait until a candidate emerges with enough clear advantage over the rest to hitch your star to, or (even better) you'll wait until Trump decides to parade around as a third party choice and market yourselves as collective outsiders. It'll be really precious.

Oh, we remember you, Cain. Therefore, you won't go anywhere.

Diogenes		2012-01-03 02:11:18 PM

skullkrusher: if there is any job in the world he is less qualified than President for, it's probably Sec of Defense

Actually, I'd say Sec. of State. But they're closely related jobs.

mr.doctor		2012-01-03 02:12:47 PM

mrshowrules: What I've learned from this thread: Omaha is America's Saskatchewan

No, nothing is the same or lower than Saskatchewan. I was in that province for a little while. So I became a pirate in the golden flats.
/Pirates! (new window)

BKITU		2012-01-03 02:13:56 PM

mr.doctor: mrshowrules: What I've learned from this thread: Omaha is America's Saskatchewan

No, nothing is the same or lower than Saskatchewan. I was in that province for a little while. So I became a pirate in the golden flats.
/Pirates! (new window)

Then you took an arrow to the knee?

Goodfella		2012-01-03 02:16:05 PM

I, too took a tour of the Intrepid in NY.

Whar my purple heart whar?

imontheinternet		2012-01-03 02:16:58 PM

As Sec Def, I intend to implement a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in regards to why my office is staffed exclusively by women in their late teens and early 20s, who are dressed like prostitutes.

mrshowrules		2012-01-03 02:17:13 PM

skullkrusher		2012-01-03 02:17:28 PM

Diogenes: skullkrusher: if there is any job in the world he is less qualified than President for, it's probably Sec of Defense

Actually, I'd say Sec. of State. But they're closely related jobs.

hehe ok, maybe Pope too... I suppose there are a few jobs he is super unqualified for. SoD is definitely one of them :)

pickledick		2012-01-03 02:18:20 PM

Jesus Christ dude craps once and claims to be an expert in waste management

Corvus		2012-01-03 02:18:51 PM

Cain has recently said if a Republican were to defeat Mr. Obama, he would be interested in the Secretary of Defense position in a new administration, CBS News' Chief White House correspondent Norah O'Donnell pointed out.

Remember Republicans knowing least about something makes you MOST qualified!!

Diogenes		2012-01-03 02:19:05 PM

skullkrusher: Diogenes: skullkrusher: if there is any job in the world he is less qualified than President for, it's probably Sec of Defense

Actually, I'd say Sec. of State. But they're closely related jobs.

hehe ok, maybe Pope too... I suppose there are a few jobs he is super unqualified for. SoD is definitely one of them :)

LOL - I just got an image in my head of him and Angela Merkel reenacting the dressing room scene from Blazing Saddles.

ferretman		2012-01-03 02:21:30 PM

Yet a 'Community Organizer' makes a good President.....

/DNRTT

YoungSwedishBlonde		2012-01-03 02:22:27 PM

skullkrusher: Diogenes: skullkrusher: if there is any job in the world he is less qualified than President for, it's probably Sec of Defense

Actually, I'd say Sec. of State. But they're closely related jobs.

hehe ok, maybe Pope too... I suppose there are a few jobs he is super unqualified for. SoD is definitely one of them :)

I dunno, Cain does have experience in mismanaging ill-advised sexual relationships. I'd say that makes him qualified to be the Pope.

Corvus		2012-01-03 02:22:41 PM

Now, the reason that I indicated that I would consider being Secretary of Defense, I don't think that my qualifications of being the Secretary of Defense should be based on something I said months ago in error. No, it should be based upon leadership. National security is one of our biggest challenges that we have in this country, and I believe that, as a leader in that position, if we have the right president, I would be able to bring a lot to the party in terms of helping to prioritize those things that need to be prioritized."

Yeah, you liberal pinheads that think jobs should be given to people based on knowledge of the subject and ability to do the job!!

/How does someone prioritize when they have no farking clue about what the things are prioritizing are?

Rapmaster2000		2012-01-03 02:24:06 PM

ferretman: Yet a 'Community Organizer' makes a good President.....

/DNRTT

This! And Jimmy Carter was nothing but a PEANUT FARMER! He grew peanuts and sold them for a profit!! WTF!?

skullkrusher		2012-01-03 02:24:38 PM

YoungSwedishBlonde: skullkrusher: Diogenes: skullkrusher: if there is any job in the world he is less qualified than President for, it's probably Sec of Defense

Actually, I'd say Sec. of State. But they're closely related jobs.

hehe ok, maybe Pope too... I suppose there are a few jobs he is super unqualified for. SoD is definitely one of them :)

I dunno, Cain does have experience in mismanaging ill-advised sexual relationships. I'd say that makes him qualified to be the Pope.

he's also a Nazi