What, they hiring?

Yeah, we're going to need you to come in on Friday.

Move 'em down to Storage B.

And just today they were announcing a major new assault planned across the Pakistani border. Talk about having it both ways...

We lost Taliban #2 this week and we sorta have to play catch-up.

MBooda: Move 'em down to Storage B.
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From a Cal/Oregon thread?

red swingline stapler unavailable for comment.

Sweet -

Once they setup and implement
- org charts
- KPI's
- Kaizens
- performance metrics
- safety deliverables
- diversity training
- inclusiveness training
- disability awareness
- sexual harassment awareness
- ethics training

it will be the DEATH of them

are they required to wear a certain amount of 'flair'?

//and by flair I mean suicide bomber vest with funny buttons on it.

"hello, yes, Ahmed can you come in and sit down please, it seems you have not filled out your request for a suicide vest in triplicate, you are missing the pink form. oh hold on let me take this call... Have a talibany day, how can I help you? no..no...no...for Allah's sake you can't use American Airlines, Zareef... I don't care if they bump you to first class, use your brain man"

hbomb1129: PC LOADLETTER!?!

What the fark does that mean???!!!!

Actually, can anyone tell me what it DOES mean?

Welcome to the Taliban complaints department, my name is Achmed, how may I help you?

Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian burqua day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian burqua or turban.

Don't touch his stapler.

Remember the Tet offensive? Remember the months prior to the attack on Pearl Harbor?

These taliban clowns are making noises of capitulation because they're losing and they know it.

If we let them catch their breath now, (some of us) deserve what we get.

The Taliban is actually a legit internal movement. They formed out of a variety of factors, but one their big claim to being legit was during the Soviet invasion they fought the Soviets. Other warlords (such as those that became the Northern Alliance) took Western supplies and the like and then fought each other or did bullshiat power plays. The Taliban pulled its logistics from us and conservative Muslim groups and fought.

Kind of like how the Chinese communists became legitimate in the eyes of the Chinese because they actually fought the Japanese.

They're assholes, their treatment of women sucks, and all that, but they're a movement we have to live with. Ideally we cut a deal where the Taliban becomes a political force (they could likely control a decent chunk of a Parliamentary style government) and disavows al-Qaeda. If they actually agree to that, move on.

Don"t we have an airbase in Qatar?

ha-ha-guy: They're assholes, their treatment of women sucks, and all that, but they're a movement we have to live with.

Pretty much this. It sucks for their women but I'm pretty sure that we in the west should have learned by now that our culture doesn't spread by force. It spreads with crappy action films, music videos, chocolate bars and blue jeans.

Casual Friday is Wear a Bomb Strapped to your Chest Friday.

I know its early but..

Egoy3k: ha-ha-guy: They're assholes, their treatment of women sucks, and all that, but they're a movement we have to live with.

Pretty much this. It sucks for their women but I'm pretty sure that we in the west should have learned by now that our culture doesn't spread by force. It spreads with crappy action films, music videos, chocolate bars and blue jeans.

Yup, we could exterminate them. But that involves also some heavy depopulation of tribes that support them. Also the ISI will be supporting them and feeding them supplies, so we'd end up having to fark with Pakistan. It's not worth the American lives. Leave the Taliban in a situation where we can export culture to their country and make it clear US Special Forces will crack some skulls if they shelter terrorists again, and as you say, let our mass media do its thing.

Wednesday is pot luck lunch.

Heeey wait just a minute, who brought the pork rinds?

Happy Hours: How about when they blew up the World Trade Center?

True this. But the joke is on us for not being able to act collectively to keep our leaders accountable for for dealing with these jerks. It's the same deal with the damn Paki's, they harbored OBL and we just let that lie for years because attention was held elsewhere. Goddamn we are a stupid, passive, rabble.

Egoy3k: ha-ha-guy: They're assholes, their treatment of women sucks, and all that, but they're a movement we have to live with.

Pretty much this. It sucks for their women but I'm pretty sure that we in the west should have learned by now that our culture doesn't spread by force. It spreads with crappy action films, music videos, chocolate bars and blue jeans.

Agreed. People may just side with the local a**holes, even commies, if they actually fight and die trying to drive out the foreign occupiers. See also Vietnam, the ETA, and the IRA. And just think how much less the USA, Inc., could have spent trying to get those oil-drilling contracts with the Vietnamese if we'd just bought them soapflakes and generators and jump-to-conclusion mats and Dean Martin records.

I'm sorry, what's the plan again? Have them setup offices in a large skyscraper only to have the CIA hijack planes and fly rednecks into it screaming "USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!"?

/so confused, so very confused.

We have to live with the Taliban? Why? Because they can recruit an army of the impoverished willing to die for them?

So could this guy:


Thankfully we have managed to live without him.

If it was Monday, I'd have a case of em..

What's great is if they adopt US governmental tactics and policies:

"Taliban Central..."

Pwahh-pwahh-pwahh-pwahh-pwahh-pwahh...

"What?"

Pwahh-pwahh-pwahh

Achmed blew up three police cars, killing two police drug dogs? You can't possibly expect us to punish him on your say-so; he's a highly respected freedom-fighter. Everybody in unit all vouches for him.

Pwahh-pwahh-pwahhwawawahhh

Huh? DNA, prints and video evidence? Very well, we'll suspend him with pay while we "investigate" your accusations. If what you say is true, he'll be given the mandatory two weeks of sensitivity training...

I'm a people person! What the hell is wrong with you people???

unchellmatt: Benni K Rok: Welcome to the Taliban complaints department, my name is Achmed, how may I help you?

"Errr um, yes, hi, my name is Achmed, I'm assembling my bomb vest and I don't think I've put it together properly. The little red wire and the clock thingy, I don't see where in the instructions they're supposed to go. Is that off to the side, near the explosives, or near the top?"

Well, Achmed, for best results, ensure that you run the wires behind everything else. You don't want to create a snag hazard.

Wittenberg Dropout: Happy Hours: How about when they blew up the World Trade Center?

True this. But the joke is on us for not being able to act collectively to keep our leaders accountable for for dealing with these jerks..

.....mmmmmmnot true. The Taliban didn't blow up the WTC/Pentagon/Flt 93. Al Qaeda blew them up - and also blew up the TB's main rival, Ahmed Shah Massoud, thinking it would win them some favor, expecting the shiatstorm that followed. The Taliban had a nice cushy little empire in Afghanistan, and were letting AQ hang out for a while. The vast majority of TB didn't know what AQ was planning - - and they weren't too happy that we brought fresh hell with us, so they told UBL and his crew to not let the door hit 'em where ol' Allah split 'em, thinking we'd go away and chase UBL like we said we would. But we didn't.

Wittenberg Dropout: It's the same deal with the damn Paki's, they harbored OBL and we just let that lie for years because attention was held elsewhere. Goddamn we are a stupid, passive, rabble.

but...THIS.

I know some guys who would like to give them the printer treatment:

"How many suicide bombings would you say that you do on a given day?"

Hey Peter,..watch out for the cornhole

Pair-o-Dice: Hey Peter Shafiqullah,..watch out for the cornhole

FTFY

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...


This whole Taliban thing may just work itself out afterall.

redmond24: Don't touch his stapler.
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I was hoping for something like this when I clicked!!
THANKS!!

Isn't it ironic that the terrorists seem to be the only ones creating jobs?

Evil Mackerel: Don"t we have an airbase in Qatar?

Yep, Al-Udeid. Pretty nice base for a desert base. One of the few you can drink alcohol at. Spent summer of 2008 there, good times.

F*ck you, Rosell for doing this to my favorite team.

que.guero: Isn't it ironic that the terrorists seem to be the only ones creating jobs?

What'r you talking about? We have a terrorist in the oval office

HAYOOOOo