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(Fox News)   Motherfarkin' caucuses, how do they work? Fox News readers want to know   (foxnews.com) divider line 97
    More: Obvious, beauty pageants, RNC  
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6309 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2012 at 8:32 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-03 07:23:03 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-01-03 08:35:33 AM
Forward, backward, inward, outward
Come and join the chase
Nothing could be drier
Than a jolly caucus race

Backward, forward, outward, inward
Bottom to the top
Never a beginning,
There can never be a stop

To skipping, hopping, tripping fancy free and gay
Started it tomorrow
But will finish yesterday
 
2012-01-03 08:37:01 AM
It's funny because every time you say "caucuses", FOX News readers drop to their knees.
 
2012-01-03 08:37:53 AM
You would think with all the closeted homo republicans they would have a better understanding of caucuses.
 
2012-01-03 08:40:55 AM
Nobody knows how caucuses work. They think a bunch of people get together and nominate some guy--it's always a guy, so Marcus Bachmann and its beard can go fark themselves--but the truth is that on January 3rd (in Iowa) every four years this diminutive thing that looks like a deviled ham with glasses shows up, scribbles in a whiteboard, and declares a winner.

And then Dick Cheney shoots the little motherfarker. The End.
 
2012-01-03 08:41:15 AM

AnubisMan: You would think with all the closeted homo republicans they would have a better understanding of caucuses Kochuses.



FTFY
 
2012-01-03 08:41:46 AM
worldwartwo.free.fr

knows a thing or two about caucuses.

/oh...nevermind
 
2012-01-03 08:44:29 AM
I haven't heard much about the big black caucus this time around.
 
2012-01-03 08:45:31 AM
Will bacon, green onions, mushrooms, spinach, eggs and a little cheddar be served?
 
2012-01-03 08:46:23 AM
Easy. They work a lot like magnets.
 
2012-01-03 08:48:31 AM
People in Iowa with nothing better to do on a Tuesday are the most important people in America this morning. Yeah, I'm scared too.
 
2012-01-03 08:48:50 AM
herpa derp! Fox news!! (wipes drool from mouth)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY5z_RAJuYA

Yeah, only fox viewers need this explained.

Fark libtards are so predictable
 
2012-01-03 08:49:12 AM
Approximate what time do I have to make a bowl of popcorn and turn on CNN? Inquiring minds are dying to know.
 
2012-01-03 08:52:14 AM

dokool: Approximate what time do I have to make a bowl of popcorn and turn on CNN? Inquiring minds are dying to know.


10-11 EST, If you are really that interested in watching Romney win.
 
2012-01-03 08:55:40 AM
They don't want to know how a caucus works. They just want to know what it is they need to be outraged about and how the liberals caused it.
 
2012-01-03 08:57:33 AM

stirfrybry: herpa derp! Fox news!! (wipes drool from mouth)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY5z_RAJuYA

Yeah, only fox viewers need this explained.

Fark libtards are so predictable


I'm not too proud to admit I learned something from that article - I didn't know that there were two more selection processes (county&state) before delegates were actually sent to the convention. The rest of it I knew.
 
2012-01-03 08:58:06 AM
And they're complaining about Virginia's 10k votes being too complicated?

/Or is Va's that bizaro to?
 
2012-01-03 08:58:30 AM
Skarekrough: They don't want to know how a caucus works. They just want to know what it is they need to be outraged about and how the liberals caused it.

Ha, ha! It's funny because it's tragically accurate.
 
2012-01-03 08:58:52 AM

Skarekrough: They don't want to know how a caucus works. They just want to know what it is they need to be outraged about and how the liberals caused it.


This
 
2012-01-03 09:01:01 AM

stirfrybry: herpa derp! Fox news!! (wipes drool from mouth)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY5z_RAJuYA

Yeah, only fox viewers need this explained.

Fark libtards are so predictable


I would like to point out that maybe we're upset that it's Fox because, you know, usually they're wrong.

*checks the article*

Yep, they're wrong.

FTA: Where Are the Caucuses? All over the state. There are 1,774 precincts in Iowa, meaning 1,774 churches, libraries and other buildings where caucus-goers will converge Tuesday starting at 7 p.m. central time.

I'll let you figure out what is wrong.

//didn't read the whole article, I am sure there is more incorrect.
 
2012-01-03 09:01:18 AM

Skarekrough: They don't want to know how a caucus works. They just want to know what it is they need to be outraged about and how the liberals caused it.


And the media, George Soros, the UAW, teachers unions, Jewish abortionists and lesbian treehuggers.
 
2012-01-03 09:05:32 AM

part of the problem: People in Iowa with nothing better to do on a Tuesday are the most important people in America the world this morning. Yeah, I'm scared too.


This was the top story on BBC this morning.
 
2012-01-03 09:05:59 AM

Jake Havechek: Skarekrough: They don't want to know how a caucus works. They just want to know what it is they need to be outraged about and how the liberals caused it.

And the media, George Soros, the UAW, teachers unions, Jewish abortionists and lesbian treehuggers.


Why would lesbians want to hug tress? Trees are so......phallic.
 
2012-01-03 09:06:22 AM
Shenanigans. People who get their news from FOX can't read.
 
2012-01-03 09:06:36 AM
10pm Tonight: img1.fark.net Iowa is a wash. On to New Hampshire!
Next Week: img1.fark.net New Hampshire was full of Northern Elitists. On to South Carolina!
Week After That: img1.fark.net South Carolina is full of crazies. On to Florida....oh f*ck.
 
2012-01-03 09:08:46 AM
For the record, Fox News readers love the cauc.
 
2012-01-03 09:09:30 AM
We get this story everytime there is a caucus going on. Are we that forgetful?
 
2012-01-03 09:13:57 AM

Lost Thought 00: dokool: Approximate what time do I have to make a bowl of popcorn and turn on CNN? Inquiring minds are dying to know.

10-11 EST, If you are really that interested in watching Romney win.


Okay, so noon here. Good, I can enjoy the butthurt at a RON PAUL! win (or god help us all Santorum or Gingrich) before lunch.

Doesn't matter if Romney wins either, it's just going to be fun to watch the Republicans eat their young for a couple months.
 
2012-01-03 09:15:03 AM
The caucuses and primaries suck. There's no point in them anymore, other than to re-shuffle the deck of candidates every couple of days/weeks.

I stick by my proposed Sunshine Day 6-month presidential election plan:

June: Candidates declare themselves as such; talk about their platforms.
July: Preliminary debates among party candidates (dems vs. dems, reps vs. reps, whoevers vs. whoevers)
August: Parties hold conventions, choose final pres and VP candidates
September: Final candidates travel, advertise, etc.
October: Two debates held for pres candidates, one debate held for VP candidates
November: General election.

DONE. With today's technology, there's not a lot of need for billions of polls, primaries, etc. They're just confusing and make most folks aggravated.
 
2012-01-03 09:15:59 AM

dokool: Lost Thought 00: dokool: Approximate what time do I have to make a bowl of popcorn and turn on CNN? Inquiring minds are dying to know.

10-11 EST, If you are really that interested in watching Romney win.

Okay, so noon here. Good, I can enjoy the butthurt at a RON PAUL! win (or god help us all Santorum or Gingrich) before lunch.

Doesn't matter if Romney wins either, it's just going to be fun to watch the Republicans eat their young for a couple months.


I dunno, Iowa Republicans might just be crazy and stupid enough to vote for Santorum.
 
2012-01-03 09:16:20 AM

Mrtraveler01: part of the problem: People in Iowa with nothing better to do on a Tuesday are the most important people in America the world this morning. Yeah, I'm scared too.

This was the top story on BBC this morning.


Great. If there was anything left to say about loss of American prestiege abroad, you just said it.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-01-03 09:17:52 AM
Fox news viewers shave spent their whole lives trying to avoid learning anything. I doubt that they really want to know.
 
2012-01-03 09:20:21 AM

Jake Havechek: Skarekrough: They don't want to know how a caucus works. They just want to know what it is they need to be outraged about and how the liberals caused it.

And the media, George Soros, the UAW, teachers unions, Jewish abortionists and lesbian treehuggers.


Those are all subsets of The Liberals™. And Soros is their leader.
 
2012-01-03 09:23:46 AM

Mrtraveler01: dokool: Lost Thought 00: dokool: Approximate what time do I have to make a bowl of popcorn and turn on CNN? Inquiring minds are dying to know.

10-11 EST, If you are really that interested in watching Romney win.

Okay, so noon here. Good, I can enjoy the butthurt at a RON PAUL! win (or god help us all Santorum or Gingrich) before lunch.

Doesn't matter if Romney wins either, it's just going to be fun to watch the Republicans eat their young for a couple months.

I dunno, Iowa Republicans might just be crazy and stupid enough to vote for Santorum.


Good. I hope they see themselves again as picking a loser. They don't seem to care though - the more retarded the candidate, the more attractive to them. Give it another 20 years though - all the WWII family values tards will be dead. Hopefully that will help. I wouldn't bet on it though.
 
2012-01-03 09:25:10 AM
It's a series of tubes. Duh.
 
2012-01-03 09:30:59 AM

It's a Sunshine Day!: The caucuses and primaries suck. There's no point in them anymore, other than to re-shuffle the deck of candidates every couple of days/weeks.

I stick by my proposed Sunshine Day 6-month presidential election plan:

June: Candidates declare themselves as such; talk about their platforms.
July: Preliminary debates among party candidates (dems vs. dems, reps vs. reps, whoevers vs. whoevers)
August: Parties hold conventions, choose final pres and VP candidates
September: Final candidates travel, advertise, etc.
October: Two debates held for pres candidates, one debate held for VP candidates
November: General election.

DONE. With today's technology, there's not a lot of need for billions of polls, primaries, etc. They're just confusing and make most folks aggravated.


See the problem with your plan is that it makes it easier. Both parties want it convoluted and expensive so that only their party elite gets to run.
 
2012-01-03 09:33:20 AM
Mrtraveler01: This was the top story on BBC this morning.

How sad for the entire goddam planet that so much attention is heaped on a bunch of shiatkicking christian farmers and the uneducated halfwits pandering to them.
 
2012-01-03 09:34:52 AM

coeyagi: FTA: Where Are the Caucuses?.


Russia and Turkey.
 
2012-01-03 09:35:17 AM
Run, Sarah, Run!
 
2012-01-03 09:36:20 AM
They don't work. Next question.
 
2012-01-03 09:37:30 AM
`What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.

`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One, two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, `But who has won?'

This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.'
 
2012-01-03 09:37:37 AM

coeyagi: Mrtraveler01: dokool: Lost Thought 00: dokool: Approximate what time do I have to make a bowl of popcorn and turn on CNN? Inquiring minds are dying to know.

10-11 EST, If you are really that interested in watching Romney win.

Okay, so noon here. Good, I can enjoy the butthurt at a RON PAUL! win (or god help us all Santorum or Gingrich) before lunch.

Doesn't matter if Romney wins either, it's just going to be fun to watch the Republicans eat their young for a couple months.

I dunno, Iowa Republicans might just be crazy and stupid enough to vote for Santorum.

Good. I hope they see themselves again as picking a loser. They don't seem to care though - the more retarded the candidate, the more attractive to them. Give it another 20 years though - all the WWII family values tards will be dead. Hopefully that will help. I wouldn't bet on it though.


Don't you understand what the WWII family value tards are all about? They are racists, but don't want to be called racist, and want to go back to a time when the White Man was king, women, blacks, and jews knew their place and that was standing at the back of the bus.
 
2012-01-03 09:39:06 AM
Isn't that how they ended up mothers in the first place? Farking caucuses...
 
2012-01-03 09:41:03 AM
The only thing you win in Iowa is the ability to lose anywhere else where corn and retarded fundies don't grow as far as the eye can see.

//well, it made sense in my head, anyway
///if you give viagra to an iowan, it just makes them taller
 
2012-01-03 09:45:28 AM

Barricaded Gunman: Mrtraveler01: This was the top story on BBC this morning.

How sad for the entire goddam planet that so much attention is heaped on a bunch of shiatkicking christian farmers and the uneducated halfwits pandering to them.


To be fair, one of those morons has a chance to be president and they all impact politics and policy to various degrees in this country. And the actions done by this country sometimes affect the rest of the world.

So, other countries reporting on this caucus are basically showing others that 'Yep, one of these idiots could be elected and make everyone's problems that much f*cking worse.'
 
2012-01-03 09:48:00 AM
Does the Republican caucus use the preferential voting like the Democrats? Remember, the instant runoff was the way that Oamba won in 2008, as he picked up all of the other candidate's supporters who did not meet the threshold. Would Ron Paul gather similar votes, or does Romney become the de facto second choice?
 
2012-01-03 09:48:24 AM

It's a Sunshine Day!: The caucuses and primaries suck. There's no point in them anymore, other than to re-shuffle the deck of candidates every couple of days/weeks.

I stick by my proposed Sunshine Day 6-month presidential election plan:

June: Candidates declare themselves as such; talk about their platforms.
July: Preliminary debates among party candidates (dems vs. dems, reps vs. reps, whoevers vs. whoevers)
August: Parties hold conventions, choose final pres and VP candidates
September: Final candidates travel, advertise, etc.
October: Two debates held for pres candidates, one debate held for VP candidates
November: General election.

DONE. With today's technology, there's not a lot of need for billions of polls, primaries, etc. They're just confusing and make most folks aggravated.



Soooooo what's to stop candidates from campaining before June? Long before they formally declare, most potential candidates do a lot of exploratory visiting and fact finding and "testing the waters" and whatnot. Neither Trump nor Sarah Palin ever declared themselves but they traveled all over the country giving speeches and hiring PR and polling firms in the early half of 2011.

The problem with setting any kind of rules for campaining is that no one will ever follow them and trying to enforce them, especially via gov't regulation, is a clear violation of the 1st Amendment. Reasonable people can argue whether or not our founders intended things like lap dances to fall under 1A but there's really no argument that they whole heartedly intended for political speech to be free of gov't regulation.
 
2012-01-03 09:50:06 AM

coeyagi: I'll let you figure out what is wrong.


He fixes the cable?
 
2012-01-03 09:51:13 AM

Mrtraveler01: We get this story everytime there is a caucus going on. Are we that forgetful?


I live in a commonwealth, but even though they try to tell us from time to time, I can never remember why it's not a state.
 
2012-01-03 09:51:52 AM

Shaggy_C: Does the Republican caucus use the preferential voting like the Democrats? Remember, the instant runoff was the way that Oamba won in 2008, as he picked up all of the other candidate's supporters who did not meet the threshold. Would Ron Paul gather similar votes, or does Romney become the de facto second choice?


I think Santorum would benefit more from an instant runoff than paul. As bachmann/perry fail to meet the threshold he is the leading christian coalition candidate.
 
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