FARK.com: (6856263) Hipster resolves to spend 30 minutes a day without his iPhone. New York Times publishes his New Year's resolution

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		Hipster resolves to spend 30 minutes a day without his iPhone. New York Times publishes his New Year's resolution (bits.blogs.nytimes.com)		133
		More: Silly, New Year's resolutions, iPhone, Google Analytics

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7637 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2012 at 3:25 AM | Favorite | share:

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SchlingFocker

2012-01-03 12:32:46 AM

I wish he had resolved to spend 30 mins per day without breathing.

bow

2012-01-03 12:36:03 AM

This guy is crazy. I don't even go to the bathroom without my iPhone.

bpfiffner

2012-01-03 01:08:56 AM

His new years resolution is to spend 30 mins out of each 24 hours without his iPhone? WTF?

How about this, you self obsessed dickhead: Realize that the rest of the world is completely happy to go without constant documentation of your plain, boring, milquetoast, unintersting life. Constant connection to the internet DOES NOT EQUAL good content to post. Get over yourself hipster douchebags.

Just like facebook, myspace, google+ and all other similar services; it is the height of self-conceit to assume that anyone besides your mother and your spouse gives 2 shiats about how you spend the minutae of your day. Fark off. Quickly, thanks.

ArcadianRefugee

2012-01-03 03:27:37 AM

Burn them.

Don't kill them, no. Just enough so that the next -- and final -- few weeks of their lives are agony.

Quark_Quasar

2012-01-03 03:30:57 AM

I've gone between two weeks and four years without internet, and to tell you the truth;

You ain't really missin' nothin'.

endlessmonkeys

2012-01-03 03:34:21 AM

Fark him, I don't even own a computer.

Car_Ramrod

2012-01-03 03:37:35 AM

I love the internet as much as the next guy, even sites that most people on Fark detest (Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, etc), but if you need to involve them in your New Year's resolutions... there is something wrong with you.

I will say that I don't necessarily see a difference between documenting a sunset with your phone and taking pictures with a regular camera. I don't think most people would think poorly of a person photographing a beautiful sunset with a DSLR. At least he's out there and actually seeing something in real life.

Pointy Tail of Satan

2012-01-03 03:37:48 AM

Just what the world needs. Part time Ludites.

Ghryswald

2012-01-03 03:39:37 AM

Not even going to read the story. I go 6-8hrs every day without my iPhone.

/sent from my iPhone
/g'night

Pointy Tail of Satan

2012-01-03 03:40:01 AM

Bah! It's Luddites! Too quick on the "Add" key.

davidphogan

2012-01-03 03:46:57 AM

Ghryswald: Not even going to read the story. I go 6-8hrs every day without my iPhone.

/sent from my iPhone
/g'night

By that logic I quit smoking for six to eight hours a night.

Thanks!

Wittenberg Dropout

2012-01-03 03:49:27 AM

Dreadful privation!

Coming on a Bicycle

2012-01-03 03:52:46 AM

Ghryswald: Not even going to read the story. I go 6-8hrs every day without my iPhone.

/sent from my iPhone
/g'night

He meant: 30 minutes of otherwise productive, waking time of every day, you, you, bad-interpreter!

Lars The Canadian Viking

2012-01-03 03:56:03 AM

People who refer to their iPhones as iPhones instead of phones: Please stop being retarded.

I had Snu Snu

2012-01-03 04:03:26 AM

Coming on a Bicycle: Ghryswald: Not even going to read the story. I go 6-8hrs every day without my iPhone.

/sent from my iPhone
/g'night

He meant: 30 minutes of otherwise productive, waking time of every day, you, you, bad-interpreter!

I highly doubt this person does much of anything that would be construed as "productive" since he's too busy taking pictures of sunsets and climbing hills and deciding which bands are too popular to listen to.

untaken_name

2012-01-03 04:11:23 AM

FTFA: "What any normal person would do in 2011: I pulled out my iPhone and began snapping pictures to share on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter."

images.cheezburger.com

untaken_name

2012-01-03 04:15:24 AM

Lars The Canadian Viking: People who refer to their iPhones as iPhones instead of phones: Please stop being retarded.

Didn't *you* just refer to their iPhones as iPhones instead of phones?

HYPOCRITE!

I had Snu Snu

2012-01-03 04:18:08 AM

Lars The Canadian Viking: People who refer to their iPhones as iPhones instead of phones: Please stop being retarded.

How else can they verbally show you how classy and sophisticated they are? I mean if you didn't pick it up from the skinny jeans, PBR, and fake glasses you might just think they were douchebags instead of a farking hipster piece of shiat douchebag.

Representative of the unwashed masses

2012-01-03 04:22:43 AM

What's an iPhone? Can we eat it?
/DIAF hipster douchebag

images.cheezburger.com

CluelessMoron

2012-01-03 04:28:07 AM

Is there an app for doing that?

my herniated disc

2012-01-03 04:39:43 AM

meh, my purse was stolen in a foreign city, leaving me with no iphone (hence all my contacts) no cards, no money, no passport, no other ID.

I went several days with sweet fark all. In a foreign country in another language. relying on the kindness of strangers.

this douche is a pansy

/csb...not..

Cyno01

2012-01-03 04:42:22 AM

I have hipster sausage in the fridge.

26.media.tumblr.com

its from a local sausage maker, youve probably never heard of it.

untaken_name

2012-01-03 04:45:26 AM

Representative of the unwashed masses: [www.globalenvision.org image 450x341]

What's an iPhone? Can we eat it?
/DIAF hipster douchebag

[images.cheezburger.com image 500x332]

Most starvation is perpetuated by petty tyrants who constitute the "government" in the places where people are starving. There is plenty of food to go around, but in the hardest-hit countries, warlords control the distribution. I'm really not sure how some d-bag hipster owning or not owning an iPhone is going to change the political situation in tin-pot-dictator or military-cabal-led countries, but I'm sure you will be happy to enlighten me.

my herniated disc

2012-01-03 04:52:01 AM

Lars The Canadian Viking: People who refer to their iPhones as iPhones instead of phones: Please stop being retarded.

not to disagree per se, but its not like people with blackberries call em phones either.

I supose I could call my Iphone, my "cellular device with touchscreen so I can check Fark whenever I want without hitting tiny buttons" but Iphone is just easier to say. If you get them with a contract they arent even that expensive.

I always thought an Iphone was just a type of cell phone with a touchscreen... not some kind of hipster douche tool

/carry on

shpritz

2012-01-03 04:57:28 AM

And every day, when those 30 minutes are up, he'll log in to facebook to write a status update about how wonderful it feels to be "off the grid".

Mitch Mitchell

2012-01-03 05:09:41 AM

I'm guessing this guy listens to Gweneth Paltrow's boyfriend's band "Cold Day" on his phone.

Gordon Bennett

2012-01-03 05:10:53 AM

Recognising that you have a problem is the first step. Well done.
Resolving to do something about it is next. Again, plus one.

Then minus several million for deciding that step three was to write an article on the internet about it. Bad hipster.

BarbadoSlim

2012-01-03 05:13:23 AM

my herniated disc: Lars The Canadian Viking: People who refer to their iPhones as iPhones instead of phones: Please stop being retarded.

not to disagree per se, but its not like people with blackberries call em phones either.

I supose I could call my Iphone, my "cellular device with touchscreen so I can check Fark whenever I want without hitting tiny buttons" but Iphone is just easier to say. If you get them with a contract they arent even that expensive.

I always thought an Iphone was just a type of cell phone with a touchscreen... not some kind of hipster douche tool

/carry on

Or you could just, you know, just call it a phone.

AbbeySomeone

2012-01-03 05:34:36 AM

untaken_name: FTFA: "What any normal person would do in 2011: I pulled out my iPhone and began snapping pictures to share on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter."

[images.cheezburger.com image 488x548]

Huh, I never do that.
Sometimes I talk to people directly, weird I know.

jnoel

2012-01-03 06:16:15 AM

I don't know where to start.
There are just too many choices.

/wouldn't much get along with this guy.

KrispyKritter

2012-01-03 06:29:42 AM

breathe easy knowing should something bad occur, his ilk will be dead from their own incompetence in under three weeks.

mamoru

2012-01-03 06:44:46 AM

BarbadoSlim: Or you could just, you know, just call it a phone.

But it's rarely used to make phone calls. Or at least, mine is. It's a portable internet and messaging terminal with the added functionality of being able to make telephone calls as well. :p

/but you do have to be an extreme douche if you can't go 30minutes without consulting it

PartTimeBuddha

2012-01-03 06:45:42 AM

KrispyKritter: breathe easy knowing should something bad occur, his ilk will be dead from their own incompetence in under three weeks.

On the bright side, the fellow is at least appearing to try to do the right thing.

On the dark (?dim) side, how can he expect anyone on God's Green Earth to care about whether or not he uses his phone?

Monkey MKIII

2012-01-03 06:54:29 AM

AbbeySomeone: untaken_name: FTFA: "What any normal person would do in 2011: I pulled out my iPhone and began snapping pictures to share on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter."

[images.cheezburger.com image 488x548]

Huh, I never do that.
Sometimes I talk to people directly, weird I know.

Freak!

/How you doin'?

AngryTeacher

2012-01-03 06:55:08 AM

endlessmonkeys: Fark him, I don't even own a computer.

That's nothing, I don't use the internet.

Pollexabator

2012-01-03 06:57:35 AM

"Spending a half-hour a day without electronics might sound easy for most, but for me, 30 unconnected minutes produces the same anxious feelings of a child left accidentally at the mall."

I could go no further. Does it end in suicide...?

ComicBookGuy

2012-01-03 07:04:21 AM

Ghryswald: Not even going to read the story. I go 6-8hrs every day without my iPhone.

/sent from my iPhone
/g'night

I don't even HAVE a iPhone, as I'm not a homosexual!!

gravebayne2

2012-01-03 07:07:54 AM

bpfiffner: His new years resolution is to spend 30 mins out of each 24 hours without his iPhone? WTF?

How about this, you self obsessed dickhead: Realize that the rest of the world is completely happy to go without constant documentation of your plain, boring, milquetoast, unintersting life. Constant connection to the internet DOES NOT EQUAL good content to post. Get over yourself hipster douchebags.

Just like facebook, myspace, google+ and all other similar services; it is the height of self-conceit to assume that anyone besides your mother and your spouse gives 2 shiats about how you spend the minutae of your day. Fark off. Quickly, thanks.

more importantly i wasn't aware milquetoast was spelled that way.

Fool_Marquis

2012-01-03 07:10:34 AM

He'll probably spen those thirty minutes a day gaming "old school" on his Nintendo DS.

Fista-Phobia

2012-01-03 07:15:35 AM

White people problems.

ReaverZ

2012-01-03 07:20:25 AM

Most starvation is perpetuated by petty tyrants who constitute the "government" in the places where people are starving. There is plenty of food to go around,

Rain, how does that work.

Fista-Phobia

2012-01-03 07:23:10 AM

Now look what you've done!

ryarger

2012-01-03 07:35:12 AM

Do words even have meanings anymore? Wtf do "hipster" and "douchebag" have to do with an article about memory and attentiveness?

I kinda hope this thread is an impromptu piece of performance art, because otherwise there a few dozen people that need to refresh themselves on the ideas behind hipsterism then look in the mirror. Hint: hating on whatever is popular (a particular brand of cell phone, for example) is trait #1.

There's a lot of "u mad" in this thread.

/I perplexed
//Seriously... If you post on Fark with any regularity, you are probably a hipster
///Wonders if there's a hipster Jeff Foxworthy...

Melvin Lovecraft

2012-01-03 07:40:57 AM

Fista-Phobia: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 450x317]

Now look what you've done!

Thread winnar!

EyeHateOnlineIdiots

2012-01-03 07:45:38 AM

hey, online idiots: companies like apple PAY media outlets to run "ad stories" on their products.

//frkking online idiots

Gruetzi

2012-01-03 07:46:15 AM

Sure, I can go 30 minutes without idouching.

BUT WHY WOULD I WANT TO?

/likes to feel fresh

untaken_name

2012-01-03 07:52:53 AM

ReaverZ: Most starvation is perpetuated by petty tyrants who constitute the "government" in the places where people are starving. There is plenty of food to go around,

Rain, how does that work.

Did you miss the part about food that we ship in being stolen? Theft, what the fark does it have to do with rain? I know they're not GROWING the food, idiot, but charities and governments send plenty of food to drought-stricken areas and that food doesn't make it to hungry people. Again, the lack of rain is not the cause of the lack of food. It could be, if there wasn't so much governmental and private charity, but it simply isn't the cause in today's world. I'm sorry that you don't know much about what happens outside your own area, but that isn't my fault.

Happy Hours

2012-01-03 07:56:27 AM

Quark_Quasar: I've gone between two weeks and four years without internet, and to tell you the truth;

You ain't really missin' nothin'.

For some reason your post made me think of a very classic song.

"Thinkin' about what I've been missing in the city.
And I'm Not Missing a thang
Watchin' the cold moon crossin' the range..."

Keep riding the storm out bro'

untaken_name

2012-01-03 07:59:00 AM

ryarger: Do words even have meanings anymore? Wtf do "hipster" and "douchebag" have to do with an article about memory and attentiveness?

I kinda hope this thread is an impromptu piece of performance art, because otherwise there a few dozen people that need to refresh themselves on the ideas behind hipsterism then look in the mirror. Hint: hating on whatever is popular (a particular brand of cell phone, for example) is trait #1.

There's a lot of "u mad" in this thread.

/I perplexed
//Seriously... If you post on Fark with any regularity, you are probably a hipster
///Wonders if there's a hipster Jeff Foxworthy...

Mighty defensive, bro. You're wearing an ironic mustachio right now, aren't you? I bet you don't even remember if it's supposed to be an ironic mustachio worn seriously, or a serious mustachio worn ironically, do you? How do we know the douchebag is a hipster? Because he posts to Instagram using his iPhone and he has enough time to spend 10 minutes taking a picture of a perfectly normal sunset and enough hubris to think people will care whether he takes a half hour off from his goddam phone every day.

Jake Havechek

2012-01-03 08:08:35 AM

iMoron

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