FARK.com: (6855381) Top GOP electoral outcomes the press is secretly hoping for: 1) RON PAUL because RON PAUL, 2) Huntsman because hot daughters and wife, 3) a late entry because no, not Santorum, he's at 5)

		Top GOP electoral outcomes the press is secretly hoping for: 1) RON PAUL because RON PAUL, 2) Huntsman because hot daughters and wife, 3) a late entry because no, not Santorum, he's at 5) (newyorker.com)		33
		More: Interesting, human beings, GOP, Thomas Paine, adulation, Jacob Weisberg, Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, Bill Kristol

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33 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

oldernell

2012-01-02 09:49:44 AM

#5 is beautiful.

Klivian

2012-01-02 09:51:47 AM

Journalists aren't secretly hoping for #4 there subster, they masturbate to the thought of it. The potential ratings, as well as the derptastic highlights of a GOP brokered convention would be legendary.

Danack

2012-01-02 09:54:06 AM

No Sarah Palin?

No third party right-wing candidate?

No hugh meteor coming to save us from these morons?

/son, I am disappoint

CravenMorehead

2012-01-02 10:00:22 AM

The GOP how power in numbers but no clear leader (other than Jesus of course). Their field of candidates is even worse than what the Democrats had in 2004. So sad.

BarrRepublican

2012-01-02 10:01:35 AM

Santorum blew the shot he had by showing up in a BWW in Ames Iowa and interrupting people trying to watch the pinstripe bowl.

Although using someplace you know will be full and then claiming they turned out for you was clever.

Great_Milenko

2012-01-02 10:04:06 AM

High quality, off-topic derp spam from the article's comment section (new window)

NFA

2012-01-02 10:15:16 AM

"Rick Santorum wins Iowa and much of the English-speaking world Googles his name."

That could be a frothy situation.

JasonOfOrillia

2012-01-02 10:19:58 AM

I think that's the shortest New Yorker piece I've ever read. Besides the comics of course.

magores

2012-01-02 10:21:12 AM

Danack: No Sarah Palin?

No third party right-wing candidate?

No hugh meteor coming to save us from these morons?

/son, I am disappoint

Who is Hugh Meteor? Some superhero or something?

Wyalt Derp

2012-01-02 10:32:38 AM

magores: Who is Hugh Meteor? Some superhero or something?

He's got my vote.

Masso

2012-01-02 10:32:39 AM

Donald Trump and Sarah Palin announcing they will join the race.

Ablejack

2012-01-02 10:36:31 AM

oldernell: #5 is beautiful.

Is she the brunette?

Gulper Eel

2012-01-02 10:37:50 AM

Klivian: Journalists aren't secretly hoping for #4 there subster, they masturbate to the thought of it. The potential ratings, as well as the derptastic highlights of a GOP brokered convention would be legendary.

Never mind all that. Think of the opportunities to hang around and drink.

Crude

2012-01-02 10:38:46 AM

Can I get an English translation of the headline?

The FARK Derp.....it burns.

Arkanaut

2012-01-02 10:40:28 AM

I would have thought Santorum is number two.

epoc_tnac

2012-01-02 10:43:13 AM

FTFA: The truth is that no matter who actually gets the nomination, Ron Paul is the winner. Whatever happens on Tuesday, Paul has solidified his place as the most influential force in Republican politics over the last four years.

Exsqueeze me? HUH? Who the fark has Ron Paul influenced in the Republican party? None of the other candidates have picked up on any of his main talking points, in fact they're all busy trying to ignore them.

I can't be bothered to read the rest of the article if this is how it starts.

Therion

2012-01-02 10:53:07 AM

Many reporters would add: "and to the aid of campaign journalism."

Campaign journalists should be quite high up on the list of who's going up against the wall when the revolution comes.

mitchcumstein1

2012-01-02 11:10:38 AM

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Huntsman has hot daughters?

actualhuman

2012-01-02 11:18:55 AM

not too many years ago none of Ron Paul's "radical" ideas were even slightly "radical", they were pretty mainstream common sense American values.

U Mad.

/No, not angry, mad.

2wolves

2012-01-02 11:24:13 AM

mitchcumstein1: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Huntsman has hot daughters?

He's a Mormon.

Strolpol

2012-01-02 11:34:05 AM

TheMadChaosopher: "his radical libertarian ideas"

yeah, like not invading countries that never attacked us, or not killing babies, or not locking people in jail and ruining their lives for having a bag of plant material, or having sound money and not just printing it as we need it, and defending our own borders, and not expecting the federal government to provide everything for everyone from birth til death.

not too many years ago none of Ron Paul's "radical" ideas were even slightly "radical", they were pretty mainstream common sense American values.

The part you're ignoring is that for every one smart idea he puts out there, he follows it up with at least three insanely stupid ones.

The reason Paul won't win is because his interpretation of the Constitution hasn't been relevant to American politics since the end of the Civil War.

SN1987a goes boom

2012-01-02 11:37:24 AM

Yea...let's have a guy with ties to white supremacy run against a black guy. Actually, I'd love to see the GOP voters call the Dems racist for voting for Obama in such a case. Go Ron Paul.

it's lisa e.

2012-01-02 11:43:07 AM

Arkanaut: I would have thought Santorum is number two.

ha! #2...

BMulligan

2012-01-02 12:04:27 PM

TheMadChaosopher: not too many years ago none of Ron Paul's "radical" ideas were even slightly "radical", they were pretty mainstream common sense American values.

That's true, of course. Segregation, elderly people living in crushing poverty, unregulated environmental degradation - all traditional American values.

2wolves

2012-01-02 12:12:29 PM

BMulligan: That's true, of course. Segregation, elderly people living in crushing poverty, unregulated environmental degradation - all traditional American values.

No one, at least no sane person, is claiming they were good values.

Tyrone Slothrop

2012-01-02 12:19:58 PM

TheMadChaosopher: "his radical libertarian ideas"

yeah, like not invading countries that never attacked us, or not killing babies, or not locking people in jail and ruining their lives for having a bag of plant material, or having sound money and not just printing it as we need it, and defending our own borders, and not expecting the federal government to provide everything for everyone from birth til death.

not too many years ago none of Ron Paul's "radical" ideas were even slightly "radical", they were pretty mainstream common sense American values.

d37nnnqwv9amwr.cloudfront.net

BMulligan

2012-01-02 12:23:20 PM

2wolves: No one, at least no sane person, is claiming they were good values.

Really? Because I'm pretty sure that the Farker I quoted in the first place was suggesting that RP's "traditional values" made him an attractive candidate.

namatad

2012-01-02 01:16:38 PM

"And yet there is the terrible realization that all this excitement and drama could come crashing down around us in less than two weeks if the sober and reasonable Mitt Romney ends the year of Republican nonsense by winning Iowa and New Hampshire and securing the nomination before things even really get started. "

so question for the GOP voters, does the iowa caucus really represent you? because it is going to decide your candidate for 2012. Did you get to pick your candidate? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

actualhuman

2012-01-02 01:17:00 PM

BMulligan: 2wolves: No one, at least no sane person, is claiming they were good values.

Really? Because I'm pretty sure that the Farker I quoted in the first place was suggesting that RP's "traditional values" made him an attractive candidate.

2wolves: BMulligan: That's true, of course. Segregation, elderly people living in crushing poverty, unregulated environmental degradation - all traditional American values.

No one, at least no sane person, is claiming they were good values. (Emphasis added).

namatad

2012-01-02 01:19:50 PM

oldernell: #5 is beautiful.

THIS

/I am SO GLAD that fark created a THIS button, so that we could stop posting THIS!!!!

namatad

2012-01-02 01:23:24 PM

Crude: Can I get an English translation of the headline?

The FARK Derp.....it burns.

um, really? this is fark
if you are too stupid to read the headline or the article or both, do you really think that someone will clue you in?
bwhahahahahahahaha

dont worry, the GOP elite will pick your candidate for you grandpa. go back to sleep

2wolves

2012-01-02 01:32:48 PM

BMulligan: Really? Because I'm pretty sure that the Farker I quoted in the first place was suggesting that RP's "traditional values" made him an attractive candidate.

Still doesn't mean they're good or ethical values. At one time Douglas MacArthur was being hyped as a GOP presidential candidate; That man was a loon, a military genius, but a loon.

BMulligan

2012-01-02 02:08:20 PM

actualhuman: BMulligan: 2wolves: No one, at least no sane person, is claiming they were good values.

Really? Because I'm pretty sure that the Farker I quoted in the first place was suggesting that RP's "traditional values" made him an attractive candidate.

2wolves: BMulligan: That's true, of course. Segregation, elderly people living in crushing poverty, unregulated environmental degradation - all traditional American values.

No one, at least no sane person, is claiming they were good values. (Emphasis added).

Point taken.

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