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(Daily Mail) Scary Super-volcano under German lake about to erupt and destroy Europe. Happy New Year   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 92
More: Scary, supervolcanoes, Emergency evacuation, southern England, cubic metres, Fleet Street, Bonn, ian, Torquay  
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20021 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2012 at 8:27 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



92 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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Sir Cumference the Flatulent [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 07:10:55 AM
I'm about 30 miles from there. Guess I'm f*cked then.
 
AbbeySomeone
2012-01-02 07:21:15 AM
Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I'm about 30 miles from there. Guess I'm f*cked then.

Be sure to post pics of the fiery lava coming to smother your village.
 
Petit_Merdeux [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 08:04:48 AM
Well, they would have been destroyed by the financial crisis anyway. This is quicker.
 
gopher321 [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 08:19:47 AM
This would make a great movie.
 
Optical Aleutian
2012-01-02 08:23:00 AM
Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I'm about 30 miles from there. Guess I'm f*cked then.

Distance is about the same for me. How 'bout an impromptu "my legs are on fire" Fark party when this thing blows?
 
BurnShrike
2012-01-02 08:25:46 AM
Volcanologists believe that the Laacher See volcano is still active as carbon dioxide is bubbling up to the lake's surface, which indicates that the magma chamber below is 'degassing'.

Sir Cumference the Flatulent Degasser: I'm about 30 miles from there. Guess I'm f*cked then.
 
mikdeetx
2012-01-02 08:28:18 AM
Fourth Reich?
 
Mr. Coffee Nerves [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 08:30:17 AM
See, flushing unwanted sauerkraut down the toilet DOES have repercussions!
 
stuhayes2010
2012-01-02 08:31:18 AM
Nice panicky article with light on details.
 
BalugaJoe
2012-01-02 08:32:06 AM
Mayan Calander strikes again.
 
DrippinBalls [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 08:34:30 AM
Sorry, just don't see a down side to this.

/fire it up!
 
Jake Havechek
2012-01-02 08:35:15 AM
Yeah, you'd be pretty much farked for a while.
 
irgunner
2012-01-02 08:36:09 AM
DrippinBalls: Sorry, just don't see a down side to this.

/fire it up!

This.

/USA! USA!
 
Ow My Balls
2012-01-02 08:37:04 AM
i471.photobucket.com

Venn der Laacher See volcano erupts up in our face, we
++carrier lost++
 
Lupine Chemist
2012-01-02 08:37:26 AM
Does this mean everyone is coming to Spain for volacnic reasons...again?
 
Sir Cumference the Flatulent [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 08:38:39 AM
Optical Aleutian: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I'm about 30 miles from there. Guess I'm f*cked then.

Distance is about the same for me. How 'bout an impromptu "my legs are on fire" Fark party when this thing blows?

LET'S DO THIS. EuroFark powers activate!

BurnShrike: Sir Cumference the Flatulent Degasser: I'm about 30 miles from there. Guess I'm f*cked then.

OK...I liked this one =)
 
FatherDale
2012-01-02 08:38:51 AM
From the comments section: What about the French volcanoes?
- Moi, France

The French have volcano technology?
 
Evil Twin Skippy [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 08:39:47 AM
Considering that everything the article just described is in the Wikipedia description of the Lake... I fail to see this as "news".

Will I die? Yes. Tomorrow? Not likely. The day after tomorrow? Slightly more likely because I've now double the time span. But still miniscule.
 
maxheck
2012-01-02 08:40:15 AM
Strictly speaking this wouldn't be considered a supervolcano, just a large volcano in an unfortunate location. The Italians could probably tell you a thing or two about those.
 
Jake Havechek
2012-01-02 08:40:17 AM
Maybe it is a reverse engineered Nazi-space alien technology revenge device?

I'll have to wait until the crazy Greek scientist on "Ancient Aliens" comments on this for more information.
 
Jake Havechek
2012-01-02 08:41:42 AM
European volcanology 1, Bobby Jindal 0
 
jso2897 [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 08:43:12 AM
BalugaJoe: Mayan Calander strikes again.

i18.photobucket.com

What a Mayan Collander my look like.
 
LewDux
2012-01-02 08:43:27 AM
FatherDale: From the comments section: What about the French volcanoes?
- Moi, France



Last one surrounded ca. 4040 BC
 
VvonderJesus
2012-01-02 08:46:56 AM
Send Pierce Brosnan there immediately.
 
Tom_Slick
2012-01-02 08:47:13 AM
The good news is Global Warming has erased the possibility of a Volcano causing a mini-ice age.
 
Turfshoe
2012-01-02 08:51:43 AM
So if it erupts, London could end up gray and cold?

How could we tell the difference?
 
LumberJack
2012-01-02 08:55:11 AM
jso2897: BalugaJoe: Mayan Calander strikes again.

[i18.photobucket.com image 380x380]

What a Mayan Collander my look like.

www.planet99.com

What a Marie Callendar's may look like.
 
BigMax
2012-01-02 08:55:16 AM
I enjoyed the film of bubbles in placid 1 foot deep water. It was a really nice contrast to the "everyone panic" tone of the article.

Everyone panic! Either the lake is going to blow, or a turtle farted!
 
GeneralJim
2012-01-02 08:57:35 AM
Supervolcano? Meh, not so much. Pinatubo ejected 16 cubic kilometers of ejecta, and this is supposedly of a similar size. Supervolcanoes, or megacalderas, produce around a THOUSAND cubic kilometers of ejecta. Biggest in 20th century =/= supervolcano.

/ Not that it will be any fun when it goes off, but a "supervolcano" is more impressive -- like Yellowstone, whose last eruption buried the entire North American continent west of the Mississippi under feet of ash. Now THAT is global flatulence. Might well trigger massive glaciation, or, colloquially, an ice age.
 
2wolves [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 09:03:02 AM
Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I'm about 30 miles from there. Guess I'm f*cked then.

There's always hope for Armageddon sex...
 
yagottabefarkinkiddinme
2012-01-02 09:03:56 AM
A story of love, lava and burning desire.

/Joe vs the volcano
//brain cloud
///jump Farkers into volcano save Europe and profit!
 
bighairyguy [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 09:08:36 AM
Where was that eruption when we needed it about 100 years ago?
 
GeneralJim
2012-01-02 09:08:37 AM
Ow My Balls:
[i471.photobucket.com image 402x301]

Venn der Laacher See volcano erupts up in our face, we
++carrier lost++

.. Heil, heil, right in der Führer's face!

t3.gstatic.com
Springtime For Hitler...
and Germany
 
NeoBad
2012-01-02 09:09:46 AM
First Coronal Mass Ejections, now super volcano about to blow. Let's hope it is a female volcano...they always say they are going to blow then lie down and just want to be held.....but it sure sounds like the end of the world to me....
 
Kibbler
2012-01-02 09:11:01 AM
GeneralJim: Supervolcano? Meh, not so much. Pinatubo ejected 16 cubic kilometers of ejecta, and this is supposedly of a similar size. Supervolcanoes, or megacalderas, produce around a THOUSAND cubic kilometers of ejecta. Biggest in 20th century =/= supervolcano.

/ Not that it will be any fun when it goes off, but a "supervolcano" is more impressive -- like Yellowstone, whose last eruption buried the entire North American continent west of the Mississippi under feet of ash. Now THAT is global flatulence. Might well trigger massive glaciation, or, colloquially, an ice age.

That was my thought. A true supervolcano would almost certainly mean the end of the species. The stuff we've seen has been small potatoes. A supervolcano wreaks global destruction.
 
Jake Havechek
2012-01-02 09:15:23 AM
Aliens, Nazis, reverse Vampires, ghouls, goblins, hobgoblins, dwarves, ogres, Mexicans, wraiths, orcs, werewolves, Sasquatches, David Bowie, and The Loch Ness Monster are behind this!
 
kenchie
2012-01-02 09:15:46 AM
Another rational story from the Daily Fail.......
 
MAYORBOB
2012-01-02 09:17:03 AM
Great. Just great. Another thing to blame on the Germans.
 
Jake Havechek
2012-01-02 09:19:45 AM
The Toba supervolcano that went off between 69,000 and 77,000 years ago in Sumatra was what almost snuffed the humans out. Only a few thousand at the equator survived, that's why our genetic differentiation isn't as varied as it should be.
 
Fullbug
2012-01-02 09:22:11 AM
Volcanologists believe that the Laacher See volcano is still active as carbon dioxide is bubbling up to the lake's surface, which indicates that the magma chamber below is 'degassing'

I find my chamber below is 'degassing' quite often......
 
GeneralJim
2012-01-02 09:26:27 AM
Kibbler:
That was my thought. A true supervolcano would almost certainly mean the end of the species. The stuff we've seen has been small potatoes. A supervolcano wreaks global destruction.

I don't think it would be the end of the species. "Pruning" of more than 90% of us, yeah, maybe more than 99%. But we're tough, we're adaptable, we're ALL OVER this planet like a rash, and we have stored food. Here and there, people would survive. Only takes one of each sex, you know...
 
Witchyman [TotalFark]
2012-01-02 09:27:16 AM
Magma.
 
lucksi
2012-01-02 09:30:49 AM
This is such an active threat that I have never heard about it until now...and I live 30 minutes from there.

Well, this town could use some steam cleaning.
 
wademh
2012-01-02 09:31:30 AM
Evil Twin Skippy: Considering that everything the article just described is in the Wikipedia description of the Lake... I fail to see this as "news".


But nobody ever told me.

\me
\me me me me I me mine
 
flexflint
2012-01-02 09:44:21 AM
GeneralJim: people would survive. Only takes one of each sex, you know...

Yeah? The first time maybe, but after that? That's going to be a nice collection of incestuous trolls you're going to raise there.
 
StrikitRich
2012-01-02 09:47:26 AM
Jake Havechek: Aliens, Nazis, reverse Vampires, ghouls, goblins, hobgoblins, dwarves, ogres, Mexicans, wraiths, orcs, werewolves, Sasquatches, David Bowie, and The Loch Ness Monster are behind this!

You left out naked German hikers.
 
flexflint
2012-01-02 09:51:41 AM
Huh. This page (new window) says the eruption would be 250 times bigger than Mt. St. Helens in '80; that had a "VEI" of 5, this one would be 6 ... crikey.
 
craxyd
2012-01-02 10:00:41 AM
Fullbug: Volcanologists believe that the Laacher See volcano is still active as carbon dioxide is bubbling up to the lake's surface, which indicates that the magma chamber below is 'degassing'

I find my chamber below is 'degassing' quite often......


Same here. Mrs. D has kicked me out of bed twice for giving her dutch ovens w/o needing to pull the blanket over her head. One was so foul that even I was offended by it.
 
SwiftFox
2012-01-02 10:01:21 AM
flexflint: Huh. This page (new window) says the eruption would be 250 times bigger than Mt. St. Helens in '80; that had a "VEI" of 5, this one would be 6 ... crikey.

Tuff for those living nearby, for sure
 
EvilVanMan
2012-01-02 10:06:44 AM
Sensitiveborderarea: Jake Havechek: Maybe it is a reverse engineered Nazi-space alien technology revenge device?

I'll have to wait until the crazy Greek scientist on "Ancient Aliens" comments on this for more information.


Nazis AND aliens??? We shouldn't have to wait very long for this to show up on the history channel.

[fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net image 504x497]

That can't be an accurate graph, there's no pyramids on it!
 
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