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(Independent) Amusing That would be a "no"   (blogs.independent.co.uk) divider line 66
More: Amusing, Marlene Dietrich, Westminster Abbey, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad  
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24449 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jan 2012 at 7:19 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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Bucky Katt [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 04:12:43 PM
Aliens killed JFK? WTF!
 
FloydA [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 04:27:35 PM
To be fair, that penguin probably is at least a socialist.
 
CougarJeff
2012-01-01 05:00:10 PM
I would answer one of those with a "yes," but I won't tell you which one.
 
Ed Finnerty [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 05:18:44 PM
CougarJeff: I would answer one of those with a "yes," but I won't tell you which one.

I'll know once I perfect these microwave mind conrt...

I've said too much.
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 05:24:10 PM
Will this thread have any meaningful contributions?
 
TheOther
2012-01-01 05:58:02 PM
Does getting pegged with a Rentoul hurt less than by one you own?
 
Makh [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 06:09:40 PM
i71.photobucket.com

Would anyone like some toast?
 
hubiestubert [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 06:56:42 PM
Will Michelle Bachmann contribute anything sane during the Primary race?
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 07:15:36 PM
There are no aliens. I mean of course there are aliens. It's almost a mathematical impossibility that there aren't aliens somewhere. But they're not here. If they were here, our government doesn't have the capacity to successfully keep it under wraps. Conspiracy people give our government way too much credit.
 
hubiestubert [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 07:21:04 PM
Mugato: There are no aliens. I mean of course there are aliens. It's almost a mathematical impossibility that there aren't aliens somewhere. But they're not here. If they were here, our government doesn't have the capacity to successfully keep it under wraps. Conspiracy people give our government way too much credit.

I'm sorry, that wasn't in the form of a question. No points. You lose. And may God have mercy on your soul...
 
Rickj
2012-01-01 07:21:58 PM
Was that article interesting to read?
 
Ryker's Peninsula
2012-01-01 07:26:00 PM
Should you let the Pigeon drive the bus?
 
MayContainHorseGluten [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 07:26:15 PM
Techincally, the "can dreams predict the future" would be a yes.. I'm sure every once a while dreams are right. But they're also probably wrong 99.99% of the time.
 
BelleCurve
2012-01-01 07:29:32 PM
What is this, the predictions list from Coast-to-Coast AM?
 
Perducci
2012-01-01 07:30:53 PM
So, basically "Things reported in the Daily Mail".
 
Flragnararch
2012-01-01 07:32:13 PM
Makh: [i71.photobucket.com image 160x160]

Would anyone like some toast?

30.media.tumblr.com

NO!
 
JasonOfOrillia
2012-01-01 07:33:31 PM
"Am I a Bronie?"
 
Poison
2012-01-01 07:35:10 PM
Can Kate Beckinsale and Scarlett Johansson make a sandwich out of me?
 
Nightmaretony
2012-01-01 07:38:18 PM
Forget the toast, how about the tacos?
 
Optimal_Illusion
2012-01-01 07:39:21 PM
Will ther ever be a fat-free fudge cake that doesn't let you down in the taste deparment?
 
TyrannyOfThe3Squares
2012-01-01 07:41:00 PM
Poison: Can Kate Beckinsale and Scarlett Johansson make a sandwich out of me?

They can. But they will not.
 
iheartscotch
2012-01-01 07:41:07 PM
FloydA: To be fair, that penguin probably is at least a socialist.

That penguin couldn't be more communist if it was wearing a Che guevara shirt, waving the hammer and sickle, standing next to Hugo Chavez, Carl Marx, Vladimir Lenin, Joseph Stalin and Fidel Castro, with the anthem of the soviet union playing in the background.

/ I keed, I keed
 
Poison
2012-01-01 07:42:56 PM
TyrannyOfThe3Squares: Poison: Can Kate Beckinsale and Scarlett Johansson make a sandwich out of me?

They can. But they will not.

A guy can dream. With my luck it would be Chewbacca Kardashian and Kirstie Alley.
 
bim1154
2012-01-01 07:44:18 PM
Poison: TyrannyOfThe3Squares: Poison: Can Kate Beckinsale and Scarlett Johansson make a sandwich out of me?

They can. But they will not.

A guy can dream. With my luck it would be Chewbacca Kardashian and Kirstie Alley.

Could be worse... could be Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah Winfrey.
 
Kevin72
2012-01-01 07:45:05 PM
Ryker's Peninsula: Should you let the Pigeon drive the bus?

I'll be your best friend ....
 
My Bologna Has A Maiden Name
2012-01-01 07:48:32 PM
FTA: 500. Is Obama Already A War Criminal?

Anyone who starts and/or refuses to immediately end senseless wars of greed and foolhardy aggression is a war criminal. Therefore, this one is in fact a "yes".

/Bush also obviously a war criminal by definition, lest you get the wrong impression
 
Poison
2012-01-01 07:48:57 PM
bim1154: Poison: TyrannyOfThe3Squares: Poison: Can Kate Beckinsale and Scarlett Johansson make a sandwich out of me?

They can. But they will not.

A guy can dream. With my luck it would be Chewbacca Kardashian and Kirstie Alley.

Could be worse... could be Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah Winfrey.

Yes, that would be worse-and Joy Behar or Whoppi Goldberg could jump in for either of them.

I just threw up a little.
 
Alleyoop
2012-01-01 07:49:11 PM
That would be a...

t3.gstatic.com
 
gbv23
2012-01-01 07:50:09 PM
Jesus, stop using aliens to mean "Crazy" ---thats just what the Robertson panel suggested.

They would not ice JFK merely for wanting to spill the beans on the captured saucers or whatever.

The ETs are saying: "we're not here, you're quarantined----we'll come back when you've stopped killing each other and your planet, then you might join the federation."
 
bim1154
2012-01-01 07:50:53 PM
Poison: bim1154: Poison: TyrannyOfThe3Squares: Poison: Can Kate Beckinsale and Scarlett Johansson make a sandwich out of me?

They can. But they will not.

A guy can dream. With my luck it would be Chewbacca Kardashian and Kirstie Alley.

Could be worse... could be Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah Winfrey.

Yes, that would be worse-and Joy Behar or Whoppi Goldberg could jump in for either of them.

I just threw up a little.

I was going to go with Joy Behar but I was shooting for extreme shock value.
 
Poison
2012-01-01 07:56:11 PM
bim1154: Poison: bim1154: Poison: TyrannyOfThe3Squares: Poison: Can Kate Beckinsale and Scarlett Johansson make a sandwich out of me?

They can. But they will not.

A guy can dream. With my luck it would be Chewbacca Kardashian and Kirstie Alley.

Could be worse... could be Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah Winfrey.

Yes, that would be worse-and Joy Behar or Whoppi Goldberg could jump in for either of them.

I just threw up a little.

I was going to go with Joy Behar but I was shooting for extreme shock value.

Or Sherri Shepherd. That also would clean out my stomach. So the answer to my first question is still no. Damn it.
 
Fista-Phobia
2012-01-01 07:59:31 PM
Your blog sucks.
 
Vitamin Pb [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 08:00:37 PM
Mugato: There are no aliens. I mean of course there are aliens. It's almost a mathematical impossibility that there aren't aliens somewhere. But they're not here. If they were here, our government doesn't have the capacity to successfully keep it under wraps. Conspiracy people give our government way too much credit.

*ZZOOOTTT!!!*
 
kisseswookies
2012-01-01 08:04:12 PM
Ryker's Peninsula: Should you let the Pigeon drive the bus?

+1 internets sir. I chuckled.
 
IlGreven
2012-01-01 08:07:31 PM
Will the U.S. government go sane before it goes tits-up?
 
Vitamin Pb [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 08:08:31 PM
gbv23: Jesus, stop using aliens to mean "Crazy" ---thats just what the Robertson panel suggested.

They would not ice JFK merely for wanting to spill the beans on the captured saucers or whatever.

The ETs are saying: "we're not here, you're quarantined----we'll come back when you've stopped killing each other and your planet, then you might join the federation."

That's just so wrong, it's silly. The real truth is that we aren't under quarantine, we are being distilled. The local empire got into a bit of a problem about 860 years ago and have taken huge losses.

They made the decision about 100 years ago to prevent our planet from expanding out to relieve population pressure. Instead, the plan is that we turn inward and perfect war and killing. Then when they show up to "help" us off Earth, we will become their avenging army/navy to reconquer what they have been losing.

/Don't ask how, but I've seen the documentation.
//And you aren't going to believe some of the tech we "invent" in the next 20 years...
 
Jimmysolson
2012-01-01 08:11:53 PM
Did I win?
 
Self_Manifesto
2012-01-01 08:15:11 PM
Are you ...not... gay?
 
FloydA [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 08:20:51 PM
Got any gum?

As a follow up, can I have some?
 
Mister Peejay
2012-01-01 08:26:50 PM
(Is that the way you say it? "That would be a no"?)

You just say "no".
 
Fista-Phobia
2012-01-01 08:29:08 PM
FloydA: Got any gum?

As a follow up, can I have some?

A gym? Oh, a gym.
 
Jimmysolson
2012-01-01 08:29:57 PM
Have I gotten any this year?

As a follow up, will I?
 
RepoManTSM
2012-01-01 08:34:52 PM
Vitamin Pb: gbv23: Jesus, stop using aliens to mean "Crazy" ---thats just what the Robertson panel suggested.

They would not ice JFK merely for wanting to spill the beans on the captured saucers or whatever.

The ETs are saying: "we're not here, you're quarantined----we'll come back when you've stopped killing each other and your planet, then you might join the federation."

That's just so wrong, it's silly. The real truth is that we aren't under quarantine, we are being distilled. The local empire got into a bit of a problem about 860 years ago and have taken huge losses.

They made the decision about 100 years ago to prevent our planet from expanding out to relieve population pressure. Instead, the plan is that we turn inward and perfect war and killing. Then when they show up to "help" us off Earth, we will become their avenging army/navy to reconquer what they have been losing.

/Don't ask how, but I've seen the documentation.
//And you aren't going to believe some of the tech we "invent" in the next 20 years...

Your ideas intruge me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Actually does sound plausible. Id do it if I where the greys.
 
FloydA [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 08:36:07 PM
Honey, does this milk smell alright to you?
 
HelloMyNameIs
2012-01-01 08:37:24 PM
Jimmysolson: Have I gotten any this year?

As a follow up, will I?

Replies? Why yes, you're a winner. Go celebrate or something!
 
Jimmysolson
2012-01-01 08:47:32 PM
BIE?
 
JohnCarter
2012-01-01 08:49:59 PM
RepoManTSM: Vitamin Pb: gbv23: Jesus, stop using aliens to mean "Crazy" ---thats just what the Robertson panel suggested.

They would not ice JFK merely for wanting to spill the beans on the captured saucers or whatever.

The ETs are saying: "we're not here, you're quarantined----we'll come back when you've stopped killing each other and your planet, then you might join the federation."

That's just so wrong, it's silly. The real truth is that we aren't under quarantine, we are being distilled. The local empire got into a bit of a problem about 860 years ago and have taken huge losses.

They made the decision about 100 years ago to prevent our planet from expanding out to relieve population pressure. Instead, the plan is that we turn inward and perfect war and killing. Then when they show up to "help" us off Earth, we will become their avenging army/navy to reconquer what they have been losing.

/Don't ask how, but I've seen the documentation.
//And you aren't going to believe some of the tech we "invent" in the next 20 years...

Your ideas intruge me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Actually does sound plausible. Id do it if I where the greys.

The greys?? Sorta like these guys?

www.us-coin-values-advisor.com
 
Fista-Phobia
2012-01-01 08:53:40 PM
Jimmysolson: BIE?

Grit. Moxy. DETERMINATION!
 
OtherLittleGuy [TotalFark]
2012-01-01 08:58:15 PM
There's a naked, crying Lindsay Lohan knocking on your door, promising to fark your brains out. Do you open the door?
 
Fista-Phobia
2012-01-01 08:59:54 PM
OtherLittleGuy: There's a naked, crying Lindsay Lohan knocking on your door, promising to fark your brains out. Do you open the door?

"Get garage door opener" .
 
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