FARK.com: (6852849) Although the idea sounds great on paper, in real life if you're a voice teacher you probably shouldn't encourage your female students to strip and touch themselves sexually to help improve their vocal range

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		Although the idea sounds great on paper, in real life if you're a voice teacher you probably shouldn't encourage your female students to strip and touch themselves sexually to help improve their vocal range (seattlepi.com)		78
		More: Interesting, teachers

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78 Comments (+0 »)

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Grables'Daughter

2011-12-31 12:03:57 AM

So, that WON'T improve my vocal range?

/goddammitsomuch

Bucky Katt

2011-12-31 12:13:26 AM

Damn. There goes my dating strategy.

FirstNationalBastard

2011-12-31 12:28:39 AM

You shouldn't encourage it, unless they're taping it, of course.

farkingismybusiness

2011-12-31 12:30:26 AM

To be fair, a lot of girls have trouble finding their G note.

FirstNationalBastard

2011-12-31 12:35:05 AM

farkingismybusiness: To be fair, a lot of girls have trouble finding their G note.

That's why you buy them a woodwind instrument of some kind, and teach them by fingering the A-hole.

TommyymmoT

2011-12-31 12:40:12 AM

When you really need to hit the high notes, there's only one man you can call...

ecx.images-amazon.com

Indolent

2011-12-31 12:45:18 AM

He was working up to helping them with their oral skills.

/DNRTA

Sid_6.7

2011-12-31 12:47:48 AM

TTIUWOP

FishyFred

2011-12-31 12:54:24 AM

Black Swan 2: Vaginal Idol

Sid_6.7

2011-12-31 12:57:07 AM

FishyFred: Vaginal Idol

Vaginal Idol...that would be the best Guitar Hero mod ever!

propasaurus

2011-12-31 01:06:16 AM

I'm sorry, but there really is no other reason to be a voice teacher.

Retractable Weeners

2011-12-31 01:07:41 AM

oh god Oh God! OH GOD!!!

powhound

2011-12-31 01:10:09 AM

He's giving her a "Running Start" all right.

orclover

2011-12-31 01:11:12 AM

Ok, what if we were say a Gym Teacher? Is it ok?

lenfromak

2011-12-31 01:11:35 AM

... "Ah! Sweet mystery of life at last I found you ..."

2.bp.blogspot.com

XplodedSynapses

2011-12-31 01:11:55 AM

Wasn't that the Michael Jackson method of singing?

bearded clamorer

2011-12-31 01:14:49 AM

Probably just trying to get her to sing from the diaphragm.

DigitalCoffee

2011-12-31 01:15:20 AM

You mean that's not what 'from the diaphram' means?

DreamyAltarBoy

2011-12-31 01:16:05 AM

Grables'Daughter: So, that WON'T improve my vocal range?

/goddammitsomuch

No, but maybe it will improve your control.

Sun Tzu

2011-12-31 01:16:06 AM

"And get this! He wanted her to sing from her diaphragm!"

DigitalCoffee

2011-12-31 01:17:17 AM

31 seconds... mumble..... mumble

fusillade762

2011-12-31 01:19:01 AM

FirstNationalBastard: farkingismybusiness: To be fair, a lot of girls have trouble finding their G note.

That's why you buy them a woodwind instrument of some kind, and teach them by fingering the A-hole.

This one time, at band camp...

And here's a pic of the perv in question (from his MySpace page):

a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

The Irresponsible Captain

2011-12-31 01:19:34 AM

It might not help her range, but it helps my flute. I wish girls were this gullible in my day.

/I'll just have a seat over there

Ivan_and_Norma_Sweeney

2011-12-31 01:20:01 AM

bearded clamorer: Probably just trying to get her to sing from the diaphragm.

Damn you, bearded clamorer! ::shakes tiny fist::

For a minute I really thought I might be the first to say this.

TomD9938

2011-12-31 01:21:17 AM

FTA
Other students said Gausepohl asked them to be part of his study, they told investigators. They declined.

These little Victorian Princesses chose ignorance over knowledge out of fear of violating some fabricated moral code.

When did this country stop trusting its experts?

Begoggle

2011-12-31 01:28:45 AM

I bet none of the boys or fat chicks were asked to be part of the study.

bearded clamorer

2011-12-31 01:32:39 AM

DigitalCoffee: 31 seconds... mumble..... mumble

Ivan_and_Norma_Sweeney: bearded clamorer: Probably just trying to get her to sing from the diaphragm.

Damn you, bearded clamorer! ::shakes tiny fist::

For a minute I really thought I might be the first to say this.

LOL
Great minds...

Terrified Asexual Forcemeat

2011-12-31 01:34:33 AM

Hmm, sounds like A Minor.

not_an_indigo

2011-12-31 01:36:51 AM

*notices the article is from the Seattle PI*
*checks to see if it's the choir teacher from her high school*...nope, not him.

/he used to have the guys leave the room and have the girls lie on their backs on the floor to do breathing exercises.
//no idea how he didn't get fired.

Aulus

2011-12-31 01:37:32 AM

Seriously, slacking off people Link (new window)

UsikFark

2011-12-31 01:42:22 AM

TommyymmoT: When you really need to hit the high notes, there's only one man you can call...

Rick Perry?

relcec

2011-12-31 01:42:52 AM

What Plants Crave

2011-12-31 01:42:56 AM

Sounds like a bad professor to me...(new window) (possible nsfw lyrics)

ExperianScaresCthulhu

2011-12-31 01:47:01 AM

someone actually fell for that?
or consensual turned into 'took advantage'?

gozar_the_destroyer

2011-12-31 01:48:02 AM

This thread hits the high notes.

RussianPooper

2011-12-31 01:52:12 AM

Is it wrong that this guy is my hero?

gozar_the_destroyer

2011-12-31 02:00:53 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: someone actually fell for that?
or consensual turned into 'took advantage'?

When she didn't get laid she reported it.

Sid Deuces

2011-12-31 02:01:28 AM

These girls will be thanking this teacher later in life.

It's a proven fact that strippers who can sing get bigger tips.

bingethinker

2011-12-31 02:06:57 AM

The music teacher at a local high school used to put his hand on your chest to make sure you were breathing properly. Apparently only the girls had breathing problems.

BuckTurgidson

2011-12-31 02:07:41 AM

[citation needed]

Sabyen91

2011-12-31 02:12:28 AM

bingethinker: The music teacher at a local high school used to put his hand on your chest to make sure you were breathing properly. Apparently only the girls had breathing problems.

Her breasts were so big they were putting pressure on her lungs. Poor girl.

wildcardjack

2011-12-31 02:13:59 AM

Considering the range I hear on porn videos, I think this guy is on to something.

encyclopediaplushuman

2011-12-31 02:15:00 AM

There once was teacher in Seattle/
Whose student on him rightly tattled/
His advice sat and lingered/
At the end of her fingers/
Imagining her on him straddled

Smackledorfer

2011-12-31 02:16:28 AM

No, this totally works. My voice teacher was able to get my voice to go up 2 whole octaves.

buckler

2011-12-31 02:20:25 AM

Sabyen91: bingethinker: The music teacher at a local high school used to put his hand on your chest to make sure you were breathing properly. Apparently only the girls had breathing problems.

Her breasts were so big they were putting pressure on her lungs. Poor girl.

The only possible way to diagnose this, of course, is to alternately move them to the left and right of the chest cavity, and to lift them up and away while the student sings, and also to compress them against the chest to check for changes in vocal quality. It's the only way to be sure.

Psykorgasm

2011-12-31 02:30:05 AM

fusillade762: FirstNationalBastard: farkingismybusiness: To be fair, a lot of girls have trouble finding their G note.

That's why you buy them a woodwind instrument of some kind, and teach them by fingering the A-hole.

This one time, at band camp...

And here's a pic of the perv in question (from his MySpace page):

[a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x449]

Paul Christoforo sure does get around.

Fista-Phobia

2011-12-31 02:31:39 AM