FARK.com: (6852807) Adopted woman, 64, who spent whole life thinking she was an only child discovers she has nine fat, homely siblings living minutes away

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		Adopted woman, 64, who spent whole life thinking she was an only child discovers she has nine fat, homely siblings living minutes away (dailymail.co.uk)		37
		More: Cool, only child

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37 Comments (+0 »)

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jaylectricity

2011-12-31 01:23:11 AM

So she got to be an only child (center of attention) then when she had nothing left to live for she finds out that she has a bunch of siblings?

SCORE!

433

2011-12-31 04:44:10 AM

TheOther

2011-12-31 05:07:34 AM

jaylectricity: So she got to be an only child (center of attention) then when she had nothing left to live for she finds out that she has a bunch of siblings?

~~SCORE~~ TIME TO DIE!

YF(amiliy)MV.

Hacker_X

2011-12-31 05:30:43 AM

Wow, that headline was completely serious and accurate. Those people are huge. There are only 7 people in the photo and yet they still take the space 10 or more people should fit in and have around the same number of chins.

martid4

2011-12-31 05:46:55 AM

I'd be concerned about the weight distribution on that floor.

doobiebrother

2011-12-31 06:06:06 AM

definitely came from the same lumpy monkey spunk.
the resemblance is emetic.

Friction8r

2011-12-31 06:06:07 AM

I am simply delighted that Whidbey has been reunited with family!

Zotfripper

2011-12-31 06:08:51 AM

Dadoody

2011-12-31 06:09:09 AM

How come you're always such a fussy young man
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran
Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan
So eat it, just eat it

Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate
So eat it

Don't you tell me you're full
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it, ooh

Your table manners are some cryin' shame
You're playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game
Now, if you starve to death, you'll just have yourself to blame
So eat it, just eat it

You better listen, better do what you're told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole
You better chow down or it's gonna get cold
So eat it

I don't care if you're full
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Open up your mouth and feed it
Have some more yogurt, have some more spam
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Don't you make me repeat it
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
If it's gettin' cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner, have a light snack
If you don't like it, you can't send it back
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it (oh lord)
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Don't you make me repeat it (oh no)
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel

2011-12-31 06:14:24 AM

Ooo, Lawdy, de Schadenfreude be killin me!

MDSB: When my grandfather died the whole family finally got together, irregardless of divorce (it was still a word back then). I hadn't seen my alleged half-brother in several years, and I wondered what had happened to the annoying scrawny little jackhole. He had apparently decided to expand rather than grow, and looked/sounded like the exaggerated inspiration for Eric Cartman. Oddly enough, he also bore a very strong resemblance to both his mother (a vast, redneck sow-harpy) and the $140 worth of pudding she had been "dating" when she got pregnant and blamed my dad, thereby breaking up his marriage to the hauntingly beautiful, zeppelin-bosomed, nuttier-than-the-locker-room-at-a-scrotum-convention drama queen that was his first wife.

My dad had terrible taste in women. Good thing he was pretty.

/just to balance things out, my mom married a pretty twit, a drunk, a pretty drunk twit, and a Christian eunuch with a pick up truck

Nidiot

2011-12-31 06:36:23 AM

Forget "homely", that is a serious case of the fuglies. The parents really shouldn't have passed those genes on even once let alone ten times, it is almost a crime against humanity.

ktybear

2011-12-31 07:06:37 AM

Hacker_X: accurate

Terrified Asexual Forcemeat

2011-12-31 07:26:10 AM

Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel: thereby breaking up his marriage to the hauntingly beautiful, zeppelin-bosomed, nuttier-than-the-locker-room-at-a-scrotum-convention drama queen that was his first wife.

haha

Ed Finnerty

2011-12-31 07:28:21 AM

I'll bet their house always smells like old maple syrup.

BarbadoSlim

2011-12-31 07:53:03 AM

I would rather remain an only child than be related to those fatsos.

jingks

2011-12-31 08:03:37 AM

Proof that being fat is genetic!

/ or being lazy is genetic...

Wild Eyed and Wicked

2011-12-31 08:09:26 AM

jingks: Proof that being fat is genetic!

/ or being lazy is genetic...

My cousin knew she was adopted and found her birth family about 30 minutes from her home. She is a bigger girl and her older brothers and sisters are all shaped the same - barrel shaped and short. Her parents were married but decided they could not afford another child so they gave her up for adoption. With that said, if they had fed the other less, maybe they all would have been able to stay together and not look like an ad for the "Biggest Loser."

I guess Twinkies in bulk can be expensive...but, then again, she is so lazy that her Christmas tree once stayed up until March.

jmadisonbiii

2011-12-31 08:23:12 AM

Typical stupid, fat, overweight Americ..... Oh.

mrlewish

2011-12-31 08:31:23 AM

Has anybody yet mentioned that they are fat?

Seriously.. why do the British tend to downright unattractive if not ugly?

Omnis_evil_twin

2011-12-31 08:37:07 AM

Apparently some of her new siblings are women. Would not have guessed from the photos alone.

airsupport

2011-12-31 08:45:51 AM

I thought the catty thread was two up from this one.

dna_level_c

2011-12-31 08:48:32 AM

"Yeah, right, you was the one Mum gave up!"

Saners

2011-12-31 08:51:17 AM

mrlewish: Has anybody yet mentioned that they are fat?

Seriously.. why do the British tend to downright unattractive if not ugly?

Never been to Britain but I'll blame the media for this one. British news outlets seem to run feel good stories while American news outlets run feel good stories about beautiful white women.

indylaw

2011-12-31 08:58:43 AM

Dear God. It's no wonder the British have a reputation for being asexual - I wouldn't want to fark either if those were the choices.

Quick, we need some British eyewash:

i278.photobucket.com

Ah... much better.

0MGWTFBBQ

2011-12-31 09:07:30 AM

Man there be a lot of ugly people in this world.

lack of warmth

2011-12-31 09:40:39 AM

Her parents were shocked their first kid was british. I bet she was shocked her siblings are british and would like to return them. She probably wished she was Irish.

/in my head

cnocnanrionnag

2011-12-31 10:50:14 AM

CSB time. I'm adopted and a year ago I found my biological father, still hale and hearty at 89, living about 300 miles away. We have met in person once and talk very enjoyably on the phone about every other week. He has 4 children, my half brothers and sisters. He refuses to say anything about them to me and is very determined to keep my existence a secret from them. I'm pretty much a skeleton in his very properly ordered world (I'm the product of a summer romance years before he met his current wife) and I despair that I will never get to meet them..

I have agreed not to ambush him or his children by just showing up at his home.

Should I be more insistent?

/thanks for listening

jim32rr

2011-12-31 11:02:08 AM

cnocnanrionnag: CSB time. I'm adopted and a year ago I found my biological father, still hale and hearty at 89, living about 300 miles away. We have met in person once and talk very enjoyably on the phone about every other week. He has 4 children, my half brothers and sisters. He refuses to say anything about them to me and is very determined to keep my existence a secret from them. I'm pretty much a skeleton in his very properly ordered world (I'm the product of a summer romance years before he met his current wife) and I despair that I will never get to meet them..

I have agreed not to ambush him or his children by just showing up at his home.

Should I be more insistent?

/thanks for listening

Try Dear Abby...aw just ambush him and his new brood he deserves nothing better.

///Subby

Zugarific

2011-12-31 11:02:27 AM

BarbadoSlim

2011-12-31 11:23:03 AM

Molavian

2011-12-31 12:39:45 PM

Jument

2011-12-31 01:09:04 PM

BarbadoSlim: cnocnanrionnag: CSB time. I'm adopted and a year ago I found my biological father, still hale and hearty at 89, living about 300 miles away. We have met in person once and talk very enjoyably on the phone about every other week. He has 4 children, my half brothers and sisters. He refuses to say anything about them to me and is very determined to keep my existence a secret from them. I'm pretty much a skeleton in his very properly ordered world (I'm the product of a summer romance years before he met his current wife) and I despair that I will never get to meet them..

I have agreed not to ambush him or his children by just showing up at his home.

Should I be more insistent?

/thanks for listening

One word: extorsion

Another word: spellchek.

ritalinchild 54

2011-12-31 02:01:41 PM

cnocnanrionnag: CSB time. I'm adopted and a year ago I found my biological father, still hale and hearty at 89, living about 300 miles away. We have met in person once and talk very enjoyably on the phone about every other week. He has 4 children, my half brothers and sisters. He refuses to say anything about them to me and is very determined to keep my existence a secret from them. I'm pretty much a skeleton in his very properly ordered world (I'm the product of a summer romance years before he met his current wife) and I despair that I will never get to meet them..

I have agreed not to ambush him or his children by just showing up at his home.

Should I be more insistent?

/thanks for listening

Please don't do that.

Your "real" parents are the ones that raised you. As another unwarranted suggestion, please don't tell your real parents you are in contact.

/just don't.

Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel

2011-12-31 03:01:11 PM

BarbadoSlim: One word: extorsion

I fail to see how twisting a former spouse will help.

JayR30

2011-12-31 04:41:12 PM

indylaw: Dear God. It's no wonder the British have a reputation for being asexual - I wouldn't want to fark either if those were the choices.

Quick, we need some British eyewash:

[i278.photobucket.com image 637x478]

[i278.photobucket.com image 300x400]

[i278.photobucket.com image 400x615]

Ah... much better.

One of these things is doing its own thing...one of these things just isn't the same...

cnocnanrionnag

2012-01-01 11:46:56 AM

ritalinchild 54: cnocnanrionnag: CSB time. I'm adopted and a year ago I found my biological father, still hale and hearty at 89, living about 300 miles away. We have met in person once and talk very enjoyably on the phone about every other week. He has 4 children, my half brothers and sisters. He refuses to say anything about them to me and is very determined to keep my existence a secret from them. I'm pretty much a skeleton in his very properly ordered world (I'm the product of a summer romance years before he met his current wife) and I despair that I will never get to meet them..

I have agreed not to ambush him or his children by just showing up at his home.

Should I be more insistent?

/thanks for listening

Please don't do that.

Your "real" parents are the ones that raised you. As another unwarranted suggestion, please don't tell your real parents you are in contact.

/just don't.

My real parents passed away in 1985 and 1990. Actually, it was my real mom, as she was in the last stages of cancer, who gave me the contact info for my bio mother. I had a nice 10-year relationship with my bio mom who passed away in 2005.

As for the other farkers who came in with the aggressive replies about 'going after' my bio father they should know that bio mom and dad stayed together through her pregnancy and by mutual agreement, gave me up for adoption then went on to their separate lives. They were both 19 at the time. Other than their youthful error everything was well played by all concerned. And that's how I'm approaching this situation.

r-child, thanks for your heartfelt observation.

Mr. Pokeylope

2012-01-01 07:21:57 PM

cnocnanrionnag: ritalinchild 54: cnocnanrionnag: CSB time. I'm adopted and a year ago I found my biological father, still hale and hearty at 89, living about 300 miles away. We have met in person once and talk very enjoyably on the phone about every other week. He has 4 children, my half brothers and sisters. He refuses to say anything about them to me and is very determined to keep my existence a secret from them. I'm pretty much a skeleton in his very properly ordered world (I'm the product of a summer romance years before he met his current wife) and I despair that I will never get to meet them..

I have agreed not to ambush him or his children by just showing up at his home.

Should I be more insistent?

/thanks for listening

Please don't do that.

Your "real" parents are the ones that raised you. As another unwarranted suggestion, please don't tell your real parents you are in contact.

/just don't.

My real parents passed away in 1985 and 1990. Actually, it was my real mom, as she was in the last stages of cancer, who gave me the contact info for my bio mother. I had a nice 10-year relationship with my bio mom who passed away in 2005.

As for the other farkers who came in with the aggressive replies about 'going after' my bio father they should know that bio mom and dad stayed together through her pregnancy and by mutual agreement, gave me up for adoption then went on to their separate lives. They were both 19 at the time. Other than their youthful error everything was well played by all concerned. And that's how I'm approaching this situation.

r-child, thanks for your heartfelt observation.

I would wait until a year or so after he passes away to contact your half-siblings. He sounds like a reasonably stand-up guy who doesn't want any of his youthful indiscretions messing with the feng shui of his familial golden years. I doubt that they'll think less of him when they find out about you... but I wouldn't go against his wishes now.

Would be kind of a di*k move in my opinion.

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