Me and Jong-un, Loyal Order Water Buffalo
Lodge brothers, Loyal Order Water Buffalo
There's a handshake everybody gotta know
How come Dear Leader always gotta run the whole show?

Good for him. He's still no God-Emperor of the Known Universe.

Plus, he gets unlimited refills at Old Chosun Buffet.

I wonder if he even wants the gig? Everybody hates the guy because of who his daddy is but all I know about him is that he went to school in Switzerland and likes the NBA. For all we know, he'd be a cool guy to hang out with.

Yabba dabba doo, now

But how is his golf game?

That's terrible. As Emperor of Mars, there's no way he'll let Barack Obama travel there.

But what's his golf score?

Rather fitting: I just watched the West Wing episode titled "Han", where Bartlet has to tell a North Korean pianist he can't defect, and then find this thread. Very sad. Religion and politics.

Marcus Aurelius: The next thing you know he's going to control Jupiter. And then we'll all be in trouble.

I know, right? Last thing Mom said before she left was "I better not come back to find any of you controlling Jupiter again!"

Whoa... is it just me or does that kid all of a sudden have MUCH more hatred in his eyes?

I have a bad feeling about this.

"I dub you Sir Phobos, knight of Mars, beater of ass."

"As you can see, my southern capitalist neighboring country, your allies have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL Communist Country! "

Gyrfalcon: He looks like a retarded mushroom.

He's just fat.

It will be interesting to see what sexual kinks/fetishes he manifests, following in daddy's footsteps and all.

/then again, he could be the Savior of Best Korea

9beers: I wonder if he even wants the gig? Everybody hates the guy because of who his daddy is but all I know about him is that he went to school in Switzerland and likes the NBA. For all we know, he'd be a cool guy to hang out with.

I read that too, but to quote a Farker whom I can't recall; there's a 99.99% chance he's Daffy Duck crazy, considering how he grew up.

I was really hoping he would change things, because yeah, this isn't the 70's, he grew up knowing what's out there, and no doubt knowing exactly what the world opinion is on his dad and his country. He should know better. But you never know, he might have a plan that needs years to succeed. You can't just just say "CHANGE ALL THE THINGS" on your second day.

Oonta goonta, Solo?

//ho ho ho
//bring him Solo and a cookie

Fearless Leader

Separated at birth?

OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM HIS EXCELLENCY ADMIRAL GENERAL ALADEEN - SUPREME LEADER, ALL TRIUMPHANT GENERAL AND CHIEF OPTHAMOLOGIST OF PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF WADIYA (new window)

(sorry about the all caps I was too lazy to fix them)

cdsmith74: [o.onionstatic.com image 250x292]

Oonta goonta, Solo?

//ho ho ho
//bring him Solo and a cookie

Okay... Wow. Major Star Wars failure here.

First of all, the line sounds more like "Oota goota, Solo?" but is actually spelled "Koona t'chuta, Solo?" (and it means, "Going somewhere, Solo?") and second, it was spoken by Greedo, not Jabba, and oh my gosh I'm such a nerd, why the hell did I say any of this?

/Greedo's last words are, "Uth laynuma. Chespo kutata kreesta krenko, nyakoska!"

dkendr: Weird how the only fat people in Best Korea were Dear Leader and Respected Leader. Think about it... if Mork from Ork's boss Orson came to Earth, the Best Koreans would have put him in charge right away.

Are you talking about Jonathan Winters?
He wasn't Orson, he was Mearth.

just because

Nihilist's Guide to Reticent Entropy: cdsmith74: [o.onionstatic.com image 250x292]

Oonta goonta, Solo?

//ho ho ho
//bring him Solo and a cookie

Okay... Wow. Major Star Wars failure here.

First of all, the line sounds more like "Oota goota, Solo?" but is actually spelled "Koona t'chuta, Solo?" (and it means, "Going somewhere, Solo?") and second, it was spoken by Greedo, not Jabba, and oh my gosh I'm such a nerd, why the hell did I say any of this?

/Greedo's last words are, "Uth laynuma. Chespo kutata kreesta krenko, nyakoska!"

Damn, I thought I was a Star Wars nerd, I tip my hat to you, sir.

I wonder if he'll have to share power with Kourtney Jong-un and Kloe Jong-un?

Remains unimpressed.

/For The Emperor!

I tried the Supreme Commander chalupa and wasn't that impressed.

A little too greasy and they skimped on the sour cream.

I had little understanding about how f'd up things are over there until I watched National Geographic's and The Vice Guide's documentaries on YouTube. The place is truly a prison for 26 million.


I wonder if Un's experiences outside of NK may have opened his eyes to how little his countrymen have compared to the rest of the civilized world.

garandman1a: But how is his golf game?

No Bro, you are thinking "best america"

we are discussing "best kores"

although, to be fair, I can see how you would mistake that

wambu: Gyrfalcon: He looks like a retarded mushroom.

He's just fat.

I'm with wambu on this one. Dude looks no different than at least three of my Oriental-descent friends from high school, and eerily like one of them in particular.

The fact that he's fat though is a pretty sad indicator of how things are. I've never really seen a fat North Korean; if anything, they all seem close to malnourished, but apparently the emperor's son never had to ask for seconds, or thirds for that matter. I can hope that type of environment didn't turn him into a spoiled asshole, but my latent cynicism tells me otherwise.

Just thought I'd point this out:



Wikipedia has picked the absolute crappiest photo available of the Supreme Commander for their article on him.

It's not even that hard to get a decent photo! Korean Copyright law mandates that state broadcasts are free of copyright. Practically any other frame from the broadcast would have worked.

NoAssemblyReqd: I had little understanding about how f'd up things are over there until I watched National Geographic's and The Vice Guide's documentaries on YouTube. The place is truly a prison for 26 million.


I wonder if Un's experiences outside of NK may have opened his eyes to how little his countrymen have compared to the rest of the civilized world.

Vice didn't even get to see the best part of NK - the gulags^! It's just not a proper dictatorship without them these days.

To all who think that, having studied in Switzerland, this guy will be the saviour of the DPRK:

Think about it, he's a young dude who has just been handed absolute power over a country. For all intents and purposes he owns his own country. Why would he do anything to jeopardize his position ?

No, I think that given his age, NK is in for 40 to 50 years of KJU's absolute rule. Soon there will be no North Koreans alive who can remember their relatives to the South, or who can remember that it was they who attacked the South in 1950 rather than the other way around. In a few years everybody in his corner of the world will believe the official lies and everybody will believe that he is a god.