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(Fark) Survey Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest: Puns and wordplay   (fark.com) divider line 56
More: Survey, BBs, Manama, Oman, Aleutian Islands, garden gnomes, little  
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posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2011 at 4:44 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



56 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:22:34 PM
To one degree or another, most of the best headlines on Fark involve some element of wordplay. Whether it's rhythmic or a slightly different spelling to squeeze out a double meaning or something like that, and a lot of Farkers like them because they frequently get voted up.

A few years ago I started pulling these out of the Headline of the Year main contest because not everybody likes puns, and it felt like the cheap jokes were stealing the votes away from other headlines that many people felt were more worthy. Now they have their own contest. While a few of these are wordplay that aren't pun-related, almost all of the rest are. If you hate puns, you will not like this contest and I'll recommend taking a look at the context headlines contest a bit farther down the page.

WARNING: Thar be puns ahead
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:25:09 PM
Note: Vote for your favorites using the "Funny" button. I won't be counting votes made using the other button
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:25:20 PM
Dispute between barbers getting hairy as one accuses the other of putting a wedge in her business, demands the other's sign get clipped. Judge to mullet over before coming to a decision

http://fk.cm/5887392
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:25:36 PM
Woman manning Manama man o' war "man overboard" in Oman. Man

http://fk.cm/5891397
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:26:18 PM
Woman calls cops because store's yogurt tasted "like sperm". Suspect denies taking matters into his own hands, but cops don't swallow his story. What a jerk

http://fk.cm/5909564
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:27:21 PM
A snowmobiler with plenty of juice / riding last in line like the caboose / doesn't catch up to his friends / as he has met his end / because he broadsided a moose

http://fk.cm/5916532
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:27:39 PM
Anti-circumcision activists get all snippy when they are tipped off about new studies that show that circumcision is beneficial after all

http://fk.cm/5969299
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:27:55 PM
Woman sues Chili's after finding sewing machine needle in mashed potatoes. Seams to have a good case, but hopes the court sees eye to eye on the darn lawsuit

http://fk.cm/6036680
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:29:09 PM
Man uses divorce papers to burn down wife's beauty parlor. Split ends with permanent damage

http://fk.cm/6056337
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:29:27 PM
Lesbian cadet licked by West Point as her efforts to gain readmission are boxed out, snatching away her dreams and sweeping her ambitions under the carpet

http://fk.cm/6150411
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:30:00 PM
Coffee beans spilled on highway after truck overturns. Traffic grinds to a halt as tie-up causes latte problems

http://fk.cm/6266121
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:30:35 PM
Search for missing Alaskan dogsledder enters second week as all leads turn to mush. Troopers say Yukon see where she last stopped, so it's definitely not an Aleutian

http://fk.cm/6275697
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:32:48 PM
Two blue lobsters caught off Canada's coast named after Will and Kate -- which is appropriate considering their upper crust station in life

http://fk.cm/6328038
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:33:14 PM
Woman flounders in police custody after stealing fish lures. It will be a pain in the bass while she waits for the scales of justice to tip in her favor, and if she's sent to jail she's going to leave with a red snapper

http://fk.cm/6352990
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:34:19 PM
Man sets new record for largest tonsils, leaving previous record holder frustrated adenoid

http://fk.cm/6397704
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:34:37 PM
After numerous challenges to its accuracy, Nepal planning to remeasure the world's tallest mountain. Climbers wonder if this dispute about height will ever rest

http://fk.cm/6405147
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:34:53 PM
Man has picture taken with record breaking striper, on his lap. Now he can't get rid of the fishy smell

http://fk.cm/6452612
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:36:14 PM
What's the new rage in protesting, if you're a monk in China? Why, setting yourself on fire, of course. It's been done before. But monk he see, monk he do

http://fk.cm/6478585
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:36:40 PM
Police try to determine ownership of dozens of garden gnomes glued onto high school as part of senior prank. Until then the little statues remain in legal gnome-man's land

http://fk.cm/6547559
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:37:15 PM
Man charged with shooting BBs at judge's car hopes his honor doesn't preside in a pellet court

http://fk.cm/6562293
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:37:31 PM
Authorities seek sick sex sect sexton

http://fk.cm/6563571
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:37:50 PM
Man killed in industrial blender will be remembered by friends as a real smoothie. The strain of his job was the final straw but never sucked up to anyone

http://fk.cm/6580005
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:38:08 PM
Creator of Doritos dead at 97 of nachoral causes

http://fk.cm/6593735
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:38:42 PM
Rescue search using boat and helicopter carried out after Jupiter mistaken for distress flare. Authorities excuse error, say they did not planet that way

http://fk.cm/6615934
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:39:06 PM
Truck jackknifes, dumps load of 2,500 chickens across highway. Road closes until CHP can pullet off

http://fk.cm/6661923
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:39:27 PM
Tibet's unrest grows after tenth Tibetan sets himself on fire. After all, immolation is the sincerest form of flattery

http://fk.cm/6682599
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:40:14 PM
"Weiner House Seat Will Be a Hot One," says frank source who relishes the chance to condiment on a brat who was the wurst Congressman in recent memory

http://fk.cm/6365715
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:40:35 PM
22-year-old man arrested for taking thousands of upskirt photos. It's a real shame, too, the guy's a crack photographer

http://fk.cm/6708281
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:41:24 PM
That's me on the pillow. That's me in the midnight, moving eyes like a pigeon. Trying to sleep the night through, and I don't know if I can do it. Oh no, I've slept too much. I haven't slept enough

http://fk.cm/6358330
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 04:41:39 PM
Bronx dicks bag of tricks: fix tix, nix pics. Cliques nixed. Pricks

http://fk.cm/6580985
 
Britney Spear's Speculum
2011-12-30 04:58:44 PM
Headline of the Year candidate: Woman sues Chili's after finding sewing machine needle in mashed potatoes. Seams to have a good case, but hopes the court sees eye to eye on the darn lawsuit

http://fk.cm/6036680

Still calling Shenanigans on this
 
ultraholland
2011-12-30 05:10:37 PM
Unfreakable: Note: Vote for your favorites using the "Funny" button. I won't be counting votes made using the other button

this process could easily be simplified with just a "voting" button rather than these silly "Smart" and "Funny" buttons, but I'm sure this ground has been thoroughly covered...
 
Ed Willy
2011-12-30 05:11:14 PM
Britney Spear's Speculum: Headline of the Year candidate: Woman sues Chili's after finding sewing machine needle in mashed potatoes. Seams to have a good case, but hopes the court sees eye to eye on the darn lawsuit

http://fk.cm/6036680

Still calling Shenanigans on this

There are definitely some holes in her story. But maybe she can patch them up and stitch together the thread of the narrative. Otherwise she'll have to bobbin weave the defense attorney who'll claim she's pulling the wool over our eyes.
 
Stinkyy
2011-12-30 05:12:02 PM
Why can't I vote for Unfreakable's intro as "smart" or "funny"?

/They still need to make those damned buttons smaller
 
Clawhammer [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 05:12:15 PM
Unfreakable: WARNING: Thar be puns ahead

I love this contest.

Thanks for your hard work.
 
sinanju
2011-12-30 05:23:28 PM
ultraholland: Unfreakable: Note: Vote for your favorites using the "Funny" button. I won't be counting votes made using the other button

this process could easily be simplified with just a "voting" button rather than these silly "Smart" and "Funny" buttons, but I'm sure this ground has been thoroughly covered...

You'll get over it.
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 05:24:11 PM
ultraholland: this process could easily be simplified with just a "voting" button rather than these silly "Smart" and "Funny" buttons, but I'm sure this ground has been thoroughly covered...

It has, but I'm open to your suggestion. The Smart/Funny voting buttons were not designed for these rare Headline of the Year threads, but rather the multitude of daily threads where people have expressed an interest in finding a way to vote for a great comment, whether it be a funny one or a smart one that made them think. It makes this particular contest a bit awkward this year, but I trust that we'll find a way to make it smoother before next year's contest.
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 05:24:52 PM
Clawhammer: Thanks for your hard work.

Quite welcome!
 
Hyperbolic Hyperbole [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 05:26:46 PM
i think the buttons ought to be moar like.. symbols, like the star and the strikethrough circle for favorites and ignores.

i dunno. like.. a lightbulb and a smiley face.
 
quickdraw [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 05:52:48 PM
I love this so much! These are always my faves. Thanks!

/pun slut
 
Rixel
2011-12-30 06:00:17 PM
Kip Adotta would be so proud!
 
ultraholland
2011-12-30 06:03:00 PM
sinanju: You'll get over it.

so I've been told

Unfreakable: It has, but I'm open to your suggestion.

I need to check out the Blog post and get back to you. As I stated I'm sure anything I can suggest has already been noted, but we'll see. In the meantime let's vote for all of you witty motherfarkers!
 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 06:07:20 PM
Unfreakable: ultraholland: this process could easily be simplified with just a "voting" button rather than these silly "Smart" and "Funny" buttons, but I'm sure this ground has been thoroughly covered...

It has, but I'm open to your suggestion. The Smart/Funny voting buttons were not designed for these rare Headline of the Year threads, but rather the multitude of daily threads where people have expressed an interest in finding a way to vote for a great comment, whether it be a funny one or a smart one that made them think. It makes this particular contest a bit awkward this year, but I trust that we'll find a way to make it smoother before next year's contest.

My biggest complaint so far is with those who have longer than usual user names. They're long enough that at least one of the buttons (usually the "smart one" is over the top, blocking part of the user name.
 
mjoven1975
2011-12-30 06:43:45 PM
They are all good but I cracked up the most from the Doritos headline.
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 06:55:36 PM
As always, thank you so much Unfreakable


/you help make 'Fark' Fark
 
shopball [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 07:23:41 PM
Wow, one of mine made it. 2-years in a row, puns and wordplay. I need a life...
 
SJKebab [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 07:29:30 PM
Unfreakable: It has, but I'm open to your suggestion. The Smart/Funny voting buttons were not designed for these rare Headline of the Year threads, but rather the multitude of daily threads where people have expressed an interest in finding a way to vote for a great comment, whether it be a funny one or a smart one that made them think. It makes this particular contest a bit awkward this year, but I trust that we'll find a way to make it smoother before next year's contest.

I personally think that the Smart/Funny buttons should remain, however the option to enable voting on threads that require it (PS threads, caption threads, etc) should come back. And I guess that if voting is enabled, then smart/funny buttons disappear.

Just my $0.02
 
Shirley Ujest
2011-12-30 07:30:12 PM
To all the finalist, congrats! This is the Fark version of the Oscar's,only more interesting. I love them all.
 
Donnchadha [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 07:31:31 PM
Unfreakable: The Smart/Funny voting buttons

I'm sure that somebody else has pointed out the odd typo in the "Smart/Funny" voting page where you can get "1 votes" and "2 vote"?

I'm unsure that I'll be able to get over such a blatant programming bug
 
Tergiversada
2011-12-30 09:39:25 PM
Headline of the Year candidate: Woman sues Chili's after finding sewing machine needle in mashed potatoes. Seams to have a good case, but hopes the court sees eye to eye on the darn lawsuit

http://fk.cm/6036680

Here's hopin' her 'etui' doesn't unravel when she gets before the judge. (ahem)
 
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