Illogical.

I know, this is FARK, and so their will be lot's of people making fun of this site and talking alot of trash but none of you has even met barack obamma and I bet none of you have ever been to Mars (tho some of you sound like marsians lol) so how can you say no they are full of "it" but you don't know. They said the same things about Nicole Teasle and he was better then Einstien.

Loosers.

From the comments:

I am skeptical of Bassiago's claims. I am still doing my own research and remain unconvinced. I am not saying his claims are untrue, I just haven't found enough reason to believe them as yet.

You have to admire people with such rigid evidentiary standards. Most people would believe any old internet blog that claims the president routinely teleports himself to Mars, but not this guy. He's going to withhold judgement till he sees more convincing evidence. I salute you sir.

fusillade762: Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel: I know... FARK... has... been to Mars... but you don't know....Loosers. [bredited for evity]

Did MeowSaidTheDog create an alt? Laughter oh el.

Abject apologies, all. I am afraid I got my Antiderp from a dodgy internet pharmacy, and the bastards filled it with Bleevitol instead.

At least that's what they tell me. They also said the only antidote was this Eastern compound called Buru Chittu, guaranteed to totally clear the Bleevitol out of my system. It wasn't as hard to swallow as I had expected, but it makes your breath smell like farts.

I still have to be careful, though, because I can't get more Antiderp until Monday. Now, if you will excuse me, some guy just told me I want to go crack one off to a blurry jpeg of the top half of Justin Bieber's ass. What a strange man I must be.

This is insane. Obama won't start his time travel program to go to Mars in the 1980s until 2013.

Sekret Muslin Martian!

I grok it.

I've been to the "jump room". It's fun. They make you take your shoes off before you enter. They also deflate it after 10 P.M.

I found a picture of the mission in progress. He's the one in the middle:



_{/i hope to fsm it's a 419 eaters thing}

From 1981 to 1983, the young attendees then went on to teleport to Mars via a "jump room" located in a building occupied by Hughes Aircraft at 999 N. Sepulveda Boulevard in El Segundo, California, adjacent to the Los Angeles International Airport (LAX).

Terrific. Hughes Aircraft can have an active trans-dimensional teleportation room right next to a major airport to send people to other planets but I can't keep my cell phone on after they close the cabin doors when the plane hasn't even started to taxi yet. Which do you think would screw with an aircraft's avionics more?

The comments are priceless.

Some are "skeptical".

I am skeptical of Bassiago's claims. I am still doing my own research and remain unconvinced. I am not saying his claims are untrue, I just haven't found enough reason to believe them as yet.

I would love to get a look at some of his "research". I'm guessing it's written on the walls with his own feces?

This article....

WHAR MARTIAN IMMIGRATION CERTIFICATE

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I've been to Mars. I bowled in a really skeevy dive bar with a bunch of redneck Martians.

Didn't break 200, though.

What do you expect, with the gravity differential? They took you for a mark.

Shostie: No wonder he's defunding NASA. He doesn't want us to go to Mars because that's where his birth certificate is being stored.

This is what Republicans actually believe!

...via a "jump room" located in a building occupied by Hughes Aircraft at 999 N. Sepulveda Boulevard in El Segundo, California, adjacent to the Los Angeles International Airport (LAX).

You're all right, that's bullshiat, no way they'd build a jump room that close to an airport. Just imagine how much big pieces of metal hurtling ovehead change the magnetosphere. They'd have to compensate for the magnetic flux along with all the other variables like motion of the planets, tides, etc. No, they probably did the jumps from the Greebriar location.

Quex: vrax: FatherDale: Why isn't my reality this interesting?

Not enough LDS.

Nonsense. I've got plenty of Mormons; they don't make anything even remotely more interesting. Friendly, though.

Oh, you collect them too? The problem is that they have this poor, "can't do" attitude.

vrax: FatherDale: Why isn't my reality this interesting?

Not enough LDS.

Nonsense. I've got plenty of Mormons; they don't make anything even remotely more interesting. Friendly, though.

Jument: s2s2s2: Farkomatic: So, they went to Mars via this jump room...

Just out of curiosity, how did they get back?

Cloned from DNA they sent back in meteorites?

They built a slightly smaller jump room and sent it to Mars in the jump room.

Genius. Now all we need is sandwiches.

Anything that contains time travel automatically triggers my xkcd reflex



/hot

He took our jerbs!

Gyrfalcon: TO THE TIMECUBE!

Sooo yesterday, in the error-filled colloquial use of such an archaic, meaningless concept as "past" which is but an infinite collection of "PRESent" when ALL PRESENT is taking place in endless INSTANTANEOUSLY therefore _nothing changes it is as real as a snapshot when reality is what WILL BE and THAT is glorious FUTURE!!

I would say "TO THE METASPATIOTEMPORAL TESSERACT!" but we are already there and now is already gone and I'm feeling strong.

/been nipping at the rat cheese again...

Michelle Obama reportedly traveled to Venus.

StopLurkListen: Weapons-grade stupid.

No, it's Singularity-level stupid, drawing in all other matters, not even the liters can escape.

Not entirely true. Sometimes a pair of subinternet particles (a fark and an anti-fark, or derpton) will pop into existence close to such a "Bachmann Hole", and only the fark is caught in the density field.

The derpton, if it collides with enough other derptons of sufficient density, will become a Newtron, an unusual particle in that it charges all it's electorons with loyalty.

Kenya's on Mars?

liverleef: You have to admire people with such rigid evidentiary standards. Most people would believe any old internet blog that claims the president routinely teleports himself to Mars, but not this guy. He's going to withhold judgement till he sees more convincing evidence. I salute you sir.

I dunno man, this guy seems legit.

PROOF!!111!!!

This is surprisingly well formatted for the level of derp it is spewing

As many as seven parents of the ten students, all with ties to the CIA, audited the class. They included Raymond F. Basiago, an engineer for The Ralph M. Parsons Company who was the chief technical liaison between Parsons and the CIA on Tesla-based teleportation

The Ralph M. Parsons Company was my favorite new wave band.

Well, duh. Come on, this is common knowledge now. Can we talk about something really important, like fluoride in our vaccines?

From the site comments: Obama must be one of the 144 archons

*realization* Obama is a dark templar

*further realization* There are 287 more

Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel: I know, this is FARK, and so their will be lot's of people making fun of this site and talking alot of trash but none of you has even met barack obamma and I bet none of you have ever been to Mars (tho some of you sound like marsians lol) so how can you say no they are full of "it" but you don't know. They said the same things about Nicole Teasle and he was better then Einstien.

Loosers.

Did MeowSaidTheDog create an alt? Laughter oh el.

You move, Timecube.

That farking TIME CUBE struck again!
When, oh when, will we be free from its tyranny?

TsarTom: ...and fellow chrononaut William B. Stillings, 44, , have publicly confirmed that Obama was enrolled in their Mars training class in 1980


When he was 13

Otherwise, totally believable.

Dude, time travel.

EARTH IS 4 CORNER

I clicked that link thinking it was either a really clever pun or a call out of some ridiculous right-wing outrage of the day.

But nope, that headline was accurate. Well done subby and mods, you got me.

I'm sober and what is this?

MaudlinMutantMollusk: WTF did I just read?

It confused and enraged me as well.

Wait, is this real?