If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo) Amusing "____ police officers quell ___-fueled violence between ____ and ____ at birthplace of ____" Your words: christians(x2), jesus, broom, and Palestinian. Fill 'em in, still won't make sense   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 47
More: Amusing, Palestinian, provenance  
•       •       •

6890 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2011 at 1:41 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
jghanc [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 12:15:39 AM
Don't forget the extra credit words, "diesel" and "sawdust", for the full "won't make sense" effect.
 
Silais [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 12:24:56 AM
"CANDY-FILLED police officers quell SYRUP-fueled violence between BRONIES and HONIES at birthplace of THE KFC DOUBLE-DOWN."

What do I win?
 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 12:41:21 AM
Jesus police officers quell broom-fueled violence between Christians and Christians at birthplace of Palestinian.

You're right.
 
Benevolent Misanthrope [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 12:59:05 AM
Sighhhhhhhhhh...

♫ And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love, and they'll kno-ow we are Christians by our looooooove... ♫
 
Mark Ratner [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 01:39:23 AM
I like mad-libs, but I'm too drunk to decipher the headline. I like mad- libs...someone come up with something good, please.
 
Ed Finnerty [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 01:42:14 AM
RELIGION OF PEACE
 
Jebdiahbob
2011-12-30 01:46:24 AM
Doesn't this happen like every year?
 
Porous Horace
2011-12-30 01:47:13 AM
Wiggamesque police officers quell grease-fueled violence between fatties and PETA members at birthplace of McRib.

Confused police officers quell cheeto-fueled violence between farkers and redditors at birthplace of Boxxy.
 
FunkOut [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 01:49:10 AM
Relatively Obscure: Jesus police officers quell broom-fueled violence between Christians and Christians at birthplace of Palestinian.

You're right.

Broom fueled violence?

How on earth did curling make it into the Middle East?
 
Blairr
2011-12-30 01:49:33 AM
Jebdiahbob: Doesn't this happen like every year?

Yea.

And it cracks me up every year.
 
kellynoel
2011-12-30 01:49:51 AM
Honestly, that's a piss-poor mad lib.
 
tickle_me_ivory
2011-12-30 01:50:16 AM
Palestinian police officers quell christian-fueled violence between Jesus and Christians at birthplace of broom
 
HighZoolander [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 01:54:22 AM
Blank police officers quell Jesus-fueled violence between Palestinian and broom at birthplace of christians(x2)
 
spiro
2011-12-30 01:55:30 AM
Proving once again Muslims can't live next to anyone in peace
 
farkingismybusiness
2011-12-30 01:57:46 AM
They'll probably just sweep this under the rug.
 
Diogenes The Cynic
2011-12-30 02:00:09 AM
First time I heard of Palestinian police having to deal with this, but kudos to them. Hope they have some inkling of what the problem is over there. Some Palestinians are Christian, so they might have a grasp of it.

Its usually Israeli police that have to deal with this in Jerusalem. In one church, the 4 groups of monks have not been able to come to an accord of which one has the authority to move a ladder that was put up 400 years ago.
 
Sabyen91 [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 02:02:22 AM
You know, I was going to call repeat but it appears they just did it yet again.

/I remember this story last year.
//fark them all.
 
ruta
2011-12-30 02:03:12 AM
Sequined police officers quell jazz-hand-fueled violence between Billy and Roxy at birthplace of Bob Fosse.

Royal Canadian Mounted police officers quell poutine-fueled violence between Habs and Leafs fans at birthplace of The Sweater.

Corset-bound police officers quell flamingo-fueled violence between Candy Pants and Miss Construed at birthplace of Divine.

Pastry-eating police officers quell custard-fueled violence between Bismarks and Berliners at the birthplace of the jam-filled donut.

And so on.
 
GreatGlavinsGhost
2011-12-30 02:07:22 AM
Diogenes The Cynic: First time I heard of Palestinian police having to deal with this, but kudos to them. Hope they have some inkling of what the problem is over there. Some Palestinians are Christian, so they might have a grasp of it.

Its usually Israeli police that have to deal with this in Jerusalem. In one church, the 4 groups of monks have not been able to come to an accord of which one has the authority to move a ladder that was put up 400 years ago.

Starring Tony Danza.
 
Rik01 [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 02:13:48 AM
This has happened before. It's embarrassing to the Christian religion when these sects fight like squabbling children over traditional 'invisible' boundaries within a holy place that should be considered welcoming to all.

By now the cops probably get ready for the annual 'brawl' that comes with the cleaning.

Besides, the interior of the place looks like a dump. Instead of squabbling they should get together and repair and repaint. I don't know who came up with the idea of using diesel fuel and sawdust to 'clean' the place, but it must make it smell really bad for weeks afterwards.

Personally, I think simple soap and elbow grease would do the job better.

It's reached the point that it might be more practical to ask the Jews, Muslims, Buddhists or Hindus to clean the church instead.

These two sects have been squabbling for centuries -- over the same religion.

Maybe they ought to just hire in a cleaning company made up of atheists. At least the centuries old church would get cleaned without a battle and they'd probably do a better job without oily diesel fuel. Besides, I suspect that diesel fuel isn't mentioned in any religious text as a sacred cleaner.

If they can't behave in this sacred place and during this sacred act, then maybe they should no longer have the privilege of performing it.
 
Twitch Boy [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 02:25:20 AM
www.nndb.com

/this link is SO HOT..."HOW HOT IS IT?"
 
Dadoody
2011-12-30 02:39:48 AM
www.gobiel.com
 
Tanga
2011-12-30 02:43:28 AM
This is the Church of the Nativity, in Bethlehem - it's been under Palestinian control for 26 years and this is not nearly the first time that Palestinian police have had to respond to Christian-on-Christian violence there. There have also been a couple of incidents of Muslim violence, particularly in 2002 when it was taken over by Palestinian militants seeking refuge from Israel's Operation Defensive Shield. The other church posters here are thinking of is the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, famous for the way it has been divided among warring Christian sects.

Ah, the Holy Land.
 
Smackledorfer
2011-12-30 03:12:38 AM
Religion is stupid.

I also think believing in god is fairly silly, but a belief in god is a far cry from buying into organized religion. If you don't believe in god based on your experiences.
 
FuManchu7 [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 03:19:28 AM
This makes total sense because the stakes are so high. Whoever cleans Jesus's church the most gets a free pass into heaven.

So, you lie, cheat, steal, basically do whatever is necessary, to clean that church while stopping others from doing the same.
 
Bob_Sled
2011-12-30 04:13:36 AM
Probably a BINGO turf war.
 
Keizer_Ghidorah
2011-12-30 04:22:16 AM
"Mushroom Kingdom police officers quell energon-fueled violence between Go-bots and Beetlejuice at birthplace of The Grinch"
 
allthesametome
2011-12-30 04:28:05 AM
This does happen every year. I remember once that one group hired people to fight for them. Described in the paper as "Toughs in Monk's clothing".
 
Ned Stark
2011-12-30 04:51:23 AM
Dadoody: [www.gobiel.com image 400x320]

500 trillion seems like a really low estimate.
 
RedPhoenix122 [TotalFark]
2011-12-30 05:06:13 AM
What would Jesus clean?
 
BarbadoSlim
2011-12-30 06:31:42 AM
To religion, the cause, and solution, to all the world's problems.
 
steamingpile
2011-12-30 06:58:58 AM
Benevolent Misanthrope: Sighhhhhhhhhh...

♫ And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love, and they'll kno-ow we are Christians by our looooooove... ♫

It also says to fight for what you believe in, why do people accept the muslims are just fighting for what the believe but look for any opportunity to run down christians for their rarely violent actions?
 
tkirby
2011-12-30 07:18:16 AM
whall.org
 
thelordofcheese
2011-12-30 07:20:24 AM
Religion of Peace™!
 
BarbadoSlim
2011-12-30 07:27:04 AM
Somehow, the Jews are involved in this. I'm sure of it.
 
limeyfellow
2011-12-30 07:34:52 AM
They have massive fights there all the time, usually over dumb shiat where one sect put up a ladder, so it requires a 100 person brawl to proof if that was right or wrong.
 
wumpus
2011-12-30 08:01:45 AM
l.yimg.com
What unibrow-fueled violence might look like.
 
wumpus
2011-12-30 08:16:26 AM
"Drunken police officers quell unibrow-fueled violence between robocop and the incredible hulk at the birthplace of the cork screw
 
phaseolus
2011-12-30 08:56:14 AM
Rik01: I don't know who came up with the idea of using diesel fuel and sawdust to 'clean' the place, but it must make it smell really bad for weeks afterwards.


Probably someone who's used commercially available sweeping compound. You've probably tried to sweep a floor in a garage or warehouse or shop and noticed how brooms leave lots of dust behind. Sprinkle a little of this stuff - oily sawdust, essentially - and it drags the fine dirt along and makes the floor a little shiny.

It sounds like this recipe is homemade sweeping compound made from whatever they can find locally. I imagine it works pretty well, but yeah, it's gotta stink.
 
Marine1
2011-12-30 08:58:54 AM
As a Christian, this hurts a lot to watch.
 
dextrocardia
2011-12-30 09:01:07 AM
Did someone declare Shenanigans?
 
skyn_floote
2011-12-30 09:21:17 AM
Can I buy a vowel, Pat?
 
bluenovaman
2011-12-30 09:48:27 AM
It is what Jesus would have wanted...
 
Tingle007
2011-12-30 10:00:47 AM
In other news there is a difference between Greek and Armenian Orthodoxy?

Just goes to show you EVERYONE in that land forgets any peaceful tenants of their religion and beats the ass of anyone who dares set foot on their percieved lawn.
 
Mouser
2011-12-30 10:32:22 AM
They should've researched Illumination and Atonement.
 
offmymeds
2011-12-30 12:46:51 PM
MONK FIGHT!
 
Ithaca_StLondon
2011-12-30 01:47:46 PM
Jebus: "Oh ffs! Everyone get to their side of the room and stay there! Don't touch, talk or look at each other! I better not have to come in here again!
Everyfricking year with you guys..."
 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop »