Not only that, but he founded TWO Chicago department stores!

I hope the grave diggers were warned to accommodate his ENORMOUS solid brass balls.

Here's a pic of the morticians preparing his body for embalming...

NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: Sultan Of Herf: He says they had orders to open fire as soon as they were within range.

Meh. Naval ships have standing orders to defend themselves if an approaching vessel comes "within range."

Also, old soldiers and old sailor who didn't ACTUALLY see action tend to, oh, I dunno, embellish.

The one's that really saw some shiat are the ones that'll never talk.

While I respected his wishes not to talk about his experiences in the war, the one guy I wished had talked about his service was David Niven. He did some very strange stuff. He was secretly in on the Dieppe Raid--he attacked one of the batteries.

He did write the following:

"I will, however, tell you just one thing about the war, my first story and my last. I was asked by some American friends to search out the grave of their son near Bastogne. I found it where they told me I would, but it was among 27,000 others, and I told myself that here, Niven, were 27,000 reasons why you should keep your mouth shut after the war."

Suede head: A victory for the USSR and common sense.