November
The White House took to its website to publicly reject conspiracy theories about the existence of UFOs, stating flatly that "there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public's eye." Also of note: NASA launched its Curiosity rover on a "long cruise to Mars." Curiosity is charged with finding - you guessed it - evidence of "microbial alien life."

December

No it isn't, Curiosity is looking for life like conditions. Not the same thing, they aren't looking for life. NASA: No, we aren't looking for life. The Press: They're looking for life! LIFE, LIFE, LIFE! The Public: They're denying that they're looking for life, which means they've found life!

Fabulous stuff. How about a calendar?

What nonsense. The entirety of existence is only 6000 years old. All this stuff is Satan's handiwork. If you trust science, you are an atheist Muslim. Rick Perry's hair is real. Michelle Bachmann is NOT into MMF threesomes. Grown men like to be called Newt and Mitt. If you give a hundred dollars to a rich man, he'll give a dime to a hobo. Hallelujah! Holy shiat! Where's the Tylenol?