FARK.com: (6849506) Thousands of alien metal balls falling onto planet Earth. Experts say remain calm: "The balls seem to be designed to avoid striking any humans. They are friendly balls." If it's the Weekly World News, you know it's true

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		Thousands of alien metal balls falling onto planet Earth. Experts say remain calm: "The balls seem to be designed to avoid striking any humans. They are friendly balls." If it's the Weekly World News, you know it's true (weeklyworldnews.com)		60
		More: Silly, ball dropping, Weekly World News, Earth, forensic sciences, metal balls

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8688 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2011 at 1:18 PM | Favorite | share:

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60 Comments (+0 »)

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nekom

2011-12-29 09:58:58 AM

CSB time: My uncle's photo was once on the cover of the weekly world news. Not the lead story, but a blurb with his picture on the cover. Nobody told him about it, we were just walking through the supermarket and bam, there it was. Weirdest part was the story was absolutely 100% true. It was about some dogs that mauled a child to death in the area and my uncle was the animal control officer sent to destroy them.

/CSB

The Stealth Hippopotamus

2011-12-29 10:59:28 AM

They've got big balls, dirty big balls, but we've got the biggest balls of 'em all.

cgraves67

2011-12-29 11:29:16 AM

trucknutz for rocket ships.

Bathia_Mapes

2011-12-29 11:41:19 AM

So, they basically ripped off the picture of the metal sphere that fell in Namibia and turned it into an "invasion".

Here's the original fark thread (new window).

elbrazo

2011-12-29 12:26:44 PM

Great, we're being teabagged by E.T.

Cagey B

2011-12-29 12:35:49 PM

Whatever you do, don't taunt the balls.

Diogenes

2011-12-29 01:14:14 PM

And Fartbongo sits on his hands, as usual.

ObscureNameHere

2011-12-29 01:20:23 PM

Wait, I saw this on a show my kids watched. Only it was little balls AND cards. And you had to shout "FIELD OPEN!" to enter another dimension.

Somaticasual

2011-12-29 01:22:08 PM

We...may be using too much hydrazine.

Bermuda59

2011-12-29 01:22:08 PM

The article fails to mention that the ball come from Spheron I

Danger Mouse

2011-12-29 01:22:09 PM

Hey! I've got freindly balls too!

No really I do!

how bout you come on over here and say "hi" to them.

david1963

2011-12-29 01:22:11 PM

They're eggs or seeds.

bump

2011-12-29 01:22:44 PM

Warnings:

Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.
Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
itching
vertigo
dizziness
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
slurred speech
temporary blindness
profuse sweating
heart palpitations
If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Submitted First With a Better Headline

2011-12-29 01:23:35 PM

Metal lemons?

que.guero

2011-12-29 01:24:47 PM

My balls are extra-friendly.

GoSurfing

2011-12-29 01:25:37 PM

Weekly World News is back? Didn't they close shop a couple years ago?

Oh and to their credit, they were a couple years ahead of the curve with "Dick Cheney is a Robot".

Unobtanium

2011-12-29 01:27:58 PM

Came for the Happy Fun Ball disclaimer, etc.

/No Schweddy Balls references?

Point02GPA

2011-12-29 01:28:43 PM

GoSurfing: Weekly World News is back? Didn't they close shop a couple years ago?

Oh and to their credit, they were a couple years ahead of the curve with "Dick Cheney is a Robot".

Could they be his balls?

CptnSpldng

2011-12-29 01:29:38 PM

Planet Zeeba?

noputhyfooting.files.wordpress.com

domo_kun_sai

2011-12-29 01:30:37 PM

That's some bad photoshop skills.

Satanus Maximus

2011-12-29 01:31:18 PM

They should make this into a movie and call it, "Battlefield Earth."

s2s2s2

2011-12-29 01:34:41 PM

Autobot turds

bwilson27

2011-12-29 01:35:33 PM

Wanted for questioning.

J. Frank Parnell

2011-12-29 01:35:42 PM

It doesn't make a bit of difference, guys.

The balls are inert.

enforcerpsu

2011-12-29 01:36:30 PM

We need the doctor!

jafiwam

2011-12-29 01:37:52 PM

The hotsheets you mean?

Dalek Caan's doomed mistress

2011-12-29 01:39:07 PM

It's only a problem if you hear the drums.

/and then the Doctor turns into Tinker Bell...

Needlessly Complicated

2011-12-29 01:45:50 PM

These balls are making me testy!

/not obscure in the least

LookOutForThatTree!

2011-12-29 01:48:01 PM

"Swoosh"
Navigator: Captain?
Captain: Science?
Science Officer: Plastics are plentiful, but...
Captain: Butt?
Science Officer: Affirmative
Captain: Landing party?
Bridge: Furious not red spandex

mudpants

2011-12-29 01:48:09 PM

looks like this.

Link (new window)

bump

2011-12-29 01:50:02 PM

I gather from the headline that Ironman got married.

wambu

2011-12-29 01:56:06 PM

My balls are friendly but sadly not newsworthy.

/but friendly

colon_pow

2011-12-29 02:17:00 PM

mine are usually friendly, but can become angry at times.
you wouldn't like them when they are angry.

Oznog

2011-12-29 02:27:49 PM

Do Not Taunt Alien Metal Ball

kd8our

2011-12-29 02:37:41 PM

i really wish we had more publications like weekly world news. i miss that crap. now its all celebrities and scandals. the outrageous stories always made weekly world news fun to read. the fake ads were tops too. sort of like a print version of fark and the onion.
i have a book that has many of their front pages when it was in print. if you liked WWN then find "bat boy lives!"

at least it was made to be entertaining. it was always a fun read and it tended not to focus on the celebrity crap. i don't watch TV and if i didn't sell those mags i wouldn't know who anyone on TV is, how much they weigh and who/what they farked. i would much prefer reading an amusing story about a lumberjack being made a sex slave to big foot than to hear about the kardashians gaining a farking pound, every god damn week. that and fark angelina jolie.

brimed03

2011-12-29 02:38:14 PM

elbrazo: Great, we're being teabagged by E.T.

Oh, bravo. Way better than what I came to write. +1, sir.

Get Lost

2011-12-29 02:38:38 PM

Not the best written article from 'World Net Daily', but it still gets page views.

Mad Canadian

2011-12-29 02:49:29 PM

You know, Hitler had just one ball...

/Whistling...

abrannan

2011-12-29 02:51:03 PM

No Phantasm reference?

Armed And Disgruntled

2011-12-29 02:53:18 PM

No reference to the Storm Trooper from Star Wars holding up the droid droppings and saying "Look sir, Droids"?????

/Leaving disappointed

groppet

2011-12-29 02:58:17 PM

What about President Scroob?

Oh shiat there goes the planet.

vice_magnet

2011-12-29 02:59:16 PM

Ya hear that sound? That's the sound of my balls hitting your chin!

WhoGAS

2011-12-29 03:00:43 PM

My balls are friendly, too. It's just they have a dick for a neighbor and that usually makes them a bit testy.

Gergesa

2011-12-29 03:05:41 PM

Octosphere?

awruk!

2011-12-29 03:25:58 PM

I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die.

mainstreet62

2011-12-29 03:27:34 PM

Looks legit.

FunkOut

2011-12-29 03:31:28 PM

Not be confused with unfriendly metal balls that fall to Earth in order to slice, dice, and eat most of the human population.

Teedee

2011-12-29 03:47:04 PM

Good Christ, I hope my Mom doesn't see this.

She'll be all "The starchild will save us!" and "I told you they were coming!"

...maybe I'll just change my phone number...

Whatthefark

2011-12-29 03:54:31 PM

The Gamilions are using these spheres to zero in on Earth. Once they have our space coordinates, they'll unleash the radioactive asteroids and Earth will never be the same again.

lwpengy

2011-12-29 03:58:22 PM