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(Reno Gazette-Journal) Strange Of all the things crazy people have believed Jesus told them to do, none have been so mediocre and confusing as this   (rgj.com) divider line 61
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15691 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2011 at 4:03 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2011-12-28 03:50:20 PM
However, Bennett also said he was angry at two of the strip clubs he targeted for incidents that allegedly occurred two years ago while he was a customer. He said that after one club stole $400 from him and another kicked him out after a woman punched him, his estranged wife left him and took their two children, now ages 2 and 12, out of the state.

Yeah, I'm thinking it's not so much Jesus.
 
2011-12-28 04:04:58 PM
RELIGION OF PEACE
 
2011-12-28 04:06:29 PM
Diogenes: However, Bennett also said he was angry at two of the strip clubs he targeted for incidents that allegedly occurred two years ago while he was a customer. He said that after one club stole $400 from him and another kicked him out after a woman punched him, his estranged wife left him and took their two children, now ages 2 and 12, out of the state.

Yeah, I'm thinking it's not so much Jesus.


Why not? As I understand it from Christians who post here and my own religious training, Jesus doesn't speak through little voices in the head, but through experiences. Can't this have been Jesus telling him his immoral life was wrong and he should spread the word that strip clubs are evil?

In other news, people still refuse to link religiously-motivated crimes with religion.
 
2011-12-28 04:08:17 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope: Why not?

For many people, Jesus is the face they put on their prejudices and emotions.
 
2011-12-28 04:11:18 PM
Jesus must not rally be telling him to do things, because when Jesus tells me to do something he helps me get away. Like the time Jesus told me to burn down an abandoned school, because it was being used as a crack house. Or that time Jesus told me to burn down those abandoned homes, two in one night, because they were being used to store stolen goods. Or that time Jesus told me to set fire to that bag of kittens, because they were possessed by Legion.

Good times, good times.
 
2011-12-28 04:14:41 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope: In other news, people still refuse to link religiously-motivated crimes with religion.

Came here to say this.

Not once have I seen a jury or judge go "You know what, maybe God did tell her to kill her kids. Not guilty on all charges, since who are we to question the judgment of God?".

No, they say "That is one crazy biatch", assuming such a person is found fit to stand trial and not clinically insane.

I heard a Catholic priest say something akin to this in his homily once though. "What if God really is talking to people, but we're quieting them with drugs or calling them insane?"
 
2011-12-28 04:24:02 PM
Dear God,

Not to question your omnipotence or anything, but I've been thinking... Maybe you should select a different caliber of person to be your messengers. I mean, you keep focusing on trailer-dwellers and huffers to spread your messages naked in the mall. Nobody takes them seriously. Next time, why not ask a respected businessman or successful doctor to abuse passers-by while brandishing an axe? You'd be surprised at the positive response!
 
2011-12-28 04:28:42 PM
There is stupid, and then there's truly (ahem) Godawful.

i133.photobucket.com

/ Ya know, I'm not going to listen to that mean drunk next time.
 
2011-12-28 04:28:54 PM
FTA: Lt. Mohammad Rafaqat said Bennett will likely face federal criminal charges

I am not surprised to see an Islamistist is preventing Bennett from doing Jesus's work.
 
2011-12-28 04:30:02 PM
meat0918: Benevolent Misanthrope: In other news, people still refuse to link religiously-motivated crimes with religion.

Came here to say this.

Not once have I seen a jury or judge go "You know what, maybe God did tell her to kill her kids. Not guilty on all charges, since who are we to question the judgment of God?".

No, they say "That is one crazy biatch", assuming such a person is found fit to stand trial and not clinically insane.

I heard a Catholic priest say something akin to this in his homily once though. "What if God really is talking to people, but we're quieting them with drugs or calling them insane?"


God told me to instruct everyone to send me $1000 dollars. He told me to tell you if you didn't, he'd be really mad at you. I'm not lying, or making it up... really.
 
2011-12-28 04:30:09 PM
meat0918: Benevolent Misanthrope: In other news, people still refuse to link religiously-motivated crimes with religion.

Came here to say this.

Not once have I seen a jury or judge go "You know what, maybe God did tell her to kill her kids. Not guilty on all charges, since who are we to question the judgment of God?".

No, they say "That is one crazy biatch", assuming such a person is found fit to stand trial and not clinically insane.

I heard a Catholic priest say something akin to this in his homily once though. "What if God really is talking to people, but we're quieting them with drugs or calling them insane?"


once i hear a pastor's sermon about the story of abraham and isaac and how much abraham was will to sacrifice for faith. immediately i wanted to interrupt and say, if voices in your head are telling you to grab a knife and slice up your child, stop. put the knife down. and step away from the kid.

/i've always thought that the story of abraham and isaac was really farked up.
 
2011-12-28 04:31:05 PM
FTFA "There's only so much (expletive) you can do in one night," Bennett said. "I went to bed, and slept really good that night (Sunday morning)." He then explained how he dressed in dark clothing, like he normally does when he does "stuff," and waited until it was dark to continue his spree.

"In daylight, you get caught, it's just common sense," Bennett said. "I'm kinda gangsta like that."

Bennett said he was able to attend Christmas Mass in the morning at his congregation and seemed almost surprised the newspaper would ask such an obvious question.

While he said that Jesus recently told him to set the arsons and fire his .45-caliber handgun at the businesses and vehicles, he said he's been warning his family for years that he was going to commit crimes like these. Because his street preaching wasn't working, Bennett said he was taking his gospel "to the streets" through his crime spree.

"I was pissed," he said of the lack of interest in his preaching. "I'm trying to get people salvation."

Bennett also went into the Wild Orchid Gentleman's Club and gave the hostess a threatening note, accompanied with a bullet. He then said he went to the Spice House, broke inside and "slaughtered" bottles of alcohol before setting rags on fire with a lighter. He said he also fired gunshots into the strip club.

Bennett said he then drove over to Fantasy Girls strip club, where he shot at about seven parked cars.

After smearing white paint on the windows of two downtown motels and firing gunshots at one of them, Bennett was arrested by Reno police during a traffic stop minutes later



This guy is hilarious. He should have a Funniest tag for funniest nutcase. Slaughtering alcohol, smearing paint, doing stuff, shootin em up for salvation. Only so much shiat you can do in one night, though, and get yourself to church on time. He's gansta like dat.
 
2011-12-28 04:31:53 PM
'"People should be home with their families on Christmas and at church, not at the strip clubs," [Bennet] said... Lt. Mohammad Rafaqat said Bennett will likely face federal criminal charges .'

AHA! Clear evidence that the Islamicization of our federal government will mean the persecution of Christians! Can Shari'a Law be far behind???
 
2011-12-28 04:32:27 PM
Regular Travis Farking Bickle, this one.
 
2011-12-28 04:33:07 PM
http://img694.imageshack.us/img694/7185/flipgeraldine.jpg
"The devil made me do it."
 
2011-12-28 04:35:33 PM
He's gonna find lots of Jesus' in the slam.
 
2011-12-28 04:38:49 PM
graphics8.nytimes.com

"Why doesn't God ever tell them: 'Go take a shiat on the salad bar'"?
 
2011-12-28 04:39:37 PM
maxheck: There is stupid, and then there's truly (ahem) Godawful.

[i133.photobucket.com image 640x612]

/ Ya know, I'm not going to listen to that mean drunk next time.


You know, I do wonder about that.

Killer: "Jesus told me to."
Society: "If you think Jesus told you to, you're lying or crazy."

Tebow: "Jesus rigged the game for me!"
Catholic Lady: "St. Anthony got Jesus to point me toward my lost car keys!"
Evangelical lady: "Jesus told me to have as many babies as my womb can bear!"
Society: "Perfectly rational, and part of a healthy belief system."

WTF?
 
2011-12-28 04:40:55 PM
Diogenes: Benevolent Misanthrope: Why not?

For many people, Jesus is the face they put on their prejudices and emotions toast.


drinkswellwithothers.files.wordpress.com

/FTFY
 
2011-12-28 04:45:08 PM
I must, respectfully, disagree with subby. There have been far more mediocre and confusing acts that "Jesus" told people to do.

Funny article, though. Onward, Christian Soldiers!

/God told me to skin you alive oblig.
 
2011-12-28 04:46:20 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope: In other news, people still refuse to link religiously-motivated crimes with religion.

Why does the guy's landscaper telling him to terrorize strip clubs have to be religious?
 
2011-12-28 04:58:36 PM
Funny what people do in the name of religion.
 
2011-12-28 04:58:47 PM
So this guy thinks going to strip clubs is not behavior Jesus would approve of, yet shooting people dead is ok?
 
2011-12-28 05:01:04 PM
T.rex: So this guy thinks going to strip clubs is not behavior Jesus would approve of, yet shooting people dead is ok?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Jesus spoke against this same behavior during the Sermon Mount
 
2011-12-28 05:03:45 PM
What's this guys Fark handle?
 
2011-12-28 05:07:53 PM
Stripping in the name of Jesus. I ... think I approve ... ?
 
2011-12-28 05:15:49 PM
We would have also accepted "Shots fired in the War on Christmas".
 
2011-12-28 05:19:27 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope: Diogenes: However, Bennett also said he was angry at two of the strip clubs he targeted for incidents that allegedly occurred two years ago while he was a customer. He said that after one club stole $400 from him and another kicked him out after a woman punched him, his estranged wife left him and took their two children, now ages 2 and 12, out of the state.

Yeah, I'm thinking it's not so much Jesus.

Why not? As I understand it from Christians who post here and my own religious training, Jesus doesn't speak through little voices in the head, but through experiences. Can't this have been Jesus telling him his immoral life was wrong and he should spread the word that strip clubs are evil?

In other news, people still refuse to link religiously-motivated crimes with religion.


But I can't blame religion. If we didn't have baby Jebus and baby Mohamad and religion in general, people would find something else to blame their asshatery on.

Religion itself isn't the problem.

It's that in general people are retarded and dicks that like to blame others for their problems/actions.
 
2011-12-28 05:28:06 PM
FTA: "His acts of violence were concerning us, and were consistent with acts of domestic terrorism."

As were those of Carrie Nation.
 
2011-12-28 05:28:39 PM
Brother Head: Benevolent Misanthrope: Diogenes: However, Bennett also said he was angry at two of the strip clubs he targeted for incidents that allegedly occurred two years ago while he was a customer. He said that after one club stole $400 from him and another kicked him out after a woman punched him, his estranged wife left him and took their two children, now ages 2 and 12, out of the state.

Yeah, I'm thinking it's not so much Jesus.

Why not? As I understand it from Christians who post here and my own religious training, Jesus doesn't speak through little voices in the head, but through experiences. Can't this have been Jesus telling him his immoral life was wrong and he should spread the word that strip clubs are evil?

In other news, people still refuse to link religiously-motivated crimes with religion.

But I can't blame religion. If we didn't have baby Jebus and baby Mohamad and religion in general, people would find something else to blame their asshatery on.

Religion itself isn't the problem.

It's that in general people are retarded and dicks that like to blame others for their problems/actions.


In that. I think we differ. I think religion has, for a very, very long time, provided that "out" - so much so that it's become socially normal to blame your actions on religion and to actually believe that your wrong actions are right because they are in line with your religious belief. And if we hadn't had religion, or if it had gone away a long time ago... I'm not at all certain we would have developed socially to be like that with a substitute.
 
2011-12-28 05:33:11 PM
Jesus once told me to use baking soda instead of fabric softener to help the environment and reduce the risk of health issues due to toxic chemicals. I said, "Thanks, Jesus! That's very insightful." But the baking soda he gave me to use had been sitting in his mini-fridge for several months and made my clothes smell fishy. "Oh, you rascal", I said. And we laughed about it over ice cream.
 
2011-12-28 05:33:55 PM
No more Taco Bell until the stripping and prostitution end.
 
2011-12-28 05:47:52 PM
This guy's favorite bible story must be when Jesus got pissed off at the merchants who were selling things at church and was all "get this shi@t out of here", but without the guns and stuff.
 
2011-12-28 05:51:05 PM
God/Jesus/Meatballs/insert-your-deity-here do not tell people to do anything. People only convince themselves that their own thoughts are put there by some other being and can therefore disavow any responsibility in their resulting actions.
 
2011-12-28 05:54:24 PM
Based on the testimony of those who claim to have spoken with God, God is clearly schizophrenic.
 
2011-12-28 05:54:31 PM
For many people, Jesus is the face they put on their prejudices and emotions toast.

He needs to hook up with the woman from the thread down the page a bit who found Jesus in her socks.
 
2011-12-28 05:56:38 PM
"There's only so much (expletive) you can do in one night," Bennett said. "I went to bed, and slept really good that night (Sunday morning)." He then explained how he dressed in dark clothing, like he normally does when he does "stuff," and waited until it was dark to continue his spree.



I kinda like this fellow. Seems very well thought out ya know?
 
2011-12-28 06:17:29 PM
inb4 not a true christian fallacy
 
2011-12-28 06:37:39 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope: Diogenes: However, Bennett also said he was angry at two of the strip clubs he targeted for incidents that allegedly occurred two years ago while he was a customer. He said that after one club stole $400 from him and another kicked him out after a woman punched him, his estranged wife left him and took their two children, now ages 2 and 12, out of the state.

Yeah, I'm thinking it's not so much Jesus.

Why not? As I understand it from Christians who post here and my own religious training, Jesus doesn't speak through little voices in the head, but through experiences. Can't this have been Jesus telling him his immoral life was wrong and he should spread the word that strip clubs are evil?

In other news, people still refuse to link religiously-motivated crimes with religion.


I'd say yes, except I'd question Jesus telling him to do so by vandalizing a post office and attacking motels where he "thought" there "might" be drug and prostitution activity, you know? Preaching on a street corner is one thing; shooting at the cops is quite another.
 
2011-12-28 06:46:31 PM
www.showcase.ca
 
2011-12-28 06:56:26 PM
Interesting defense. He knows what happened to Jesus right?
 
2011-12-28 07:15:28 PM
What makes you think this guy is crazy but the other people Jesus talks to are sane?
 
2011-12-28 07:18:03 PM
FloydA: What makes you think this guy is crazy but the other people Jesus talks to are sane?

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. -Havelock Ellis-

It is funny that 2,000 years ago people who heard voices were called prophets, and now we call them what they really are, schizophrenics.
 
2011-12-28 07:20:33 PM
FloydA: What makes you think this guy is crazy but the other people Jesus talks to are sane?

Thank you for distilling my point.
 
2011-12-28 07:39:23 PM
That explains why he killed my fig tree.
 
2011-12-28 09:25:35 PM
A Fark Handle: meat0918: Benevolent Misanthrope: In other news, people still refuse to link religiously-motivated crimes with religion.

Came here to say this.

Not once have I seen a jury or judge go "You know what, maybe God did tell her to kill her kids. Not guilty on all charges, since who are we to question the judgment of God?".

No, they say "That is one crazy biatch", assuming such a person is found fit to stand trial and not clinically insane.

I heard a Catholic priest say something akin to this in his homily once though. "What if God really is talking to people, but we're quieting them with drugs or calling them insane?"

once i hear a pastor's sermon about the story of abraham and isaac and how much abraham was will to sacrifice for faith. immediately i wanted to interrupt and say, if voices in your head are telling you to grab a knife and slice up your child, stop. put the knife down. and step away from the kid.

/i've always thought that the story of abraham and isaac was really farked up.


JHVH wanted to make sure he had a real idiot on his hands before "blessing" the Jews.
 
2011-12-28 10:57:57 PM
Tyrone Slothrop:
JHVH wanted to make sure he had a real idiot on his hands before "blessing" the Jews.


You mean Jehovah or he-who-must-not-be-named?
 
2011-12-28 11:01:30 PM
Not to finger bang the neighbors mom?

I don't get it.
 
2011-12-28 11:54:29 PM
meat0918: Benevolent Misanthrope: In other news, people still refuse to link religiously-motivated crimes with religion.

Came here to say this.

Not once have I seen a jury or judge go "You know what, maybe God did tell her to kill her kids. Not guilty on all charges, since who are we to question the judgment of God?".

No, they say "That is one crazy biatch", assuming such a person is found fit to stand trial and not clinically insane.

I heard a Catholic priest say something akin to this in his homily once though. "What if God really is talking to people, but we're quieting them with drugs or calling them insane?"



saints.sqpn.com

Approves
 
2011-12-28 11:55:13 PM
wants people to call him a "gangster," an "assassin" and a "shadow."
Ill go with what came to me seeing his pic.. Dork!
 
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