I guess if you have cottage cheese ass it could act like a fingerprint...

Subtle, but excellent use of Asinine tag

can image how well that would work at the office.. everyone taking off their pants and showing their asses at the computer

Having done tech support and experienced the sometimes bizarre misconceptions people dream up on how various parts of computers operate: Please for the love of god do not create technology that adds their own asses into the mix if things they will blindly combine in efforts to get the computer to do what they want.

"I put the infrared scanner all the way in and it still says Insert Posterior, halp!"

What happens if you just farted? Do you have to run to Taco Bell or Krystal so you can generate another sample?

DjangoStonereaver: One of their beta testers:

[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 300x471]

I'd like to crack her password.

Sounds like something the BOFH would think up. Then convince the PHB that it works better if you're not wearing pants. Then arrange for the PHB's boss to come round, with his finger on a "show porn on boss's screen" remote control.

Remarkable.

Dat Login

Crocodilly_Pontifex: I guess if you have cottage cheese ass it could act like a fingerprint...

What about people who get fatter... or lose a lot of weight?

the_sidewinder: brantgoose: I don't think that's a good idea.

I don't like my password changing all the time. I'm sure that a lot of people would agree that they don't like their password changing all the time. Biometrics. It is moot.

Wat

Yeah, the real problem with biometric passcodes is that you generally CAN'T change them.

BumpInTheNight: Having done tech support and experienced the sometimes bizarre misconceptions people dream up on how various parts of computers operate: Please for the love of god do not create technology that adds their own asses into the mix if things they will blindly combine in efforts to get the computer to do what they want.

"I put the infrared scanner all the way in and it still says Insert Posterior, halp!"

No no, the sensor is in the CHAIR.
No it wasn't a reasonable assumption.
I don't know, go get some Windex or something.
No, that's not an legitimate support ticket.
You know what, you can just work through your sweaty ass screen, I'm leaving.

CSB:

I once was lead developer on a biometrics-heavy access control system, and as part of the testing we had to repeatedly go through the cycle that a client would go through to get their badge.

That needed a lot of test data, so we were constantly coming up with fake users such as "June Bugg," "Heywood Jablowme," "Hugh Jass" et al.

About 3:00am during an all-nighter before a demo one of my coders asked me to run through the signup procedure. I created a user named "Harry Butt" and since I didn't want my ugly self recorded, I held my fist up to the camera when it took the picture.

Given that I have hairy knuckles and the finger-cleavage displayed, the closeup did indeed look like a "Harry Butt." We printed out multiples of that ID card.

It's a lot funnier if you're whacked out by 22 hours of coding and lack of sleep. I had to take everyone out to Dunkin Donuts to get them back and focused.

So it's a brown eye scanner, eh?

Please tell me that I wouldn't have to, ya know, "plug anything in"

Doesn't this happen in Monsters vs Aliens?

"My crack is my assport, verify me"


\too obscure?

What if your ass is shiny, metal, yet extremely bitable?

Ghost Roach: "My crack is my assport, verify me"


\too obscure?

Not even remotely obscure, but I spit tobacco at my monitor when I read it.

A US-style fanny fingerprint? What the UK does that even mean?

Approves (new window)

/sit on my touch screen, I'll kick your ass beard-boy.

ProfessorOhki: You know what, you can just work through your sweaty ass screen, I'm leaving.

XKCD would like to know where you would put a hyphen in that sentence.

Ghost Roach: "My crack is my assport, verify me"


\too obscure?

Nope, but that sounds painful.

So what happens if you lose weight?

Aye Carumba: A US-style fanny fingerprint? What the UK does that even mean?

"Fanny" in the UK = tuna taco, meat wallet, bearded clam.

You know, vagina.

sFrancoFile: Aye Carumba: A US-style fanny fingerprint? What the UK does that even mean?

"Fanny" in the UK = tuna taco, meat wallet, bearded clam.

You know, vagina.

Thanks for the clarification, I didn't know the US was the UK's Greeks, you know, anus.

Next time I bang a Brit, I'm definitely putting it up her US-style fanny.