FARK.com: (6847428) SyFy's next original movie is Arachnoquake, a film about a series of earthquakes that unleash giant albino spiders on New Orleans. It will star Tracey Gold and Ethan Phillips and might just be the best movie ever

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		SyFy's next original movie is Arachnoquake, a film about a series of earthquakes that unleash giant albino spiders on New Orleans. It will star Tracey Gold and Ethan Phillips and might just be the best movie ever (huffingtonpost.com)		86
		More: Cool, Tracey Gold, Arachnoquake, New Orleans, Carnie Wilson, growing pains, Apolo Ohno, Edward Furlong, Danica McKellar

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RodneyToady

2011-12-27 08:57:59 PM

Phillips is best known for "Star Trek: Voyager,"

And Benson.

vossiewulf

2011-12-27 10:07:48 PM

Time for fried spider legs with leola root tea.

SilentStrider

2011-12-27 10:20:08 PM

hmmmm

FirstNationalBastard

2011-12-27 10:24:24 PM

The plot sounds a little thin to me.

BravadoGT

2011-12-27 10:35:48 PM

RodneyToady: Phillips is best known for "Star Trek: Voyager,"

And Benson.

What was it with Star Trek and Benson?

www.bbc.co.uk

Mugato

2011-12-27 10:37:58 PM

...and they canceled MST3K.

Mugato

2011-12-27 10:43:10 PM

BravadoGT: RodneyToady: Phillips is best known for "Star Trek: Voyager,"

And Benson.

What was it with Star Trek and Benson?

And this chick from Benson

worldofstage.com

looked just like Major Totalbiatchwhatshername

www.sherylfranklin.com

W. T. Fark

2011-12-27 10:46:30 PM

Mugato: ...and they canceled MST3K.

Some enterprising souls should pick up the mantle. Could make a great YouTube series, and there seems to be no end of source material provided by SyFy. I suppose cease and desist notices could make that tricky though

Meatzilla

2011-12-27 10:58:20 PM

The Africanized giant spiders of New Orleans community
www.homevideos.com

frowns upon your shenanigans

Mugato

2011-12-27 10:58:59 PM

W. T. Fark: Mugato: ...and they canceled MST3K.

Some enterprising souls should pick up the mantle. Could make a great YouTube series, and there seems to be no end of source material provided by SyFy. I suppose cease and desist notices could make that tricky though

Well Rifftrax is better anyway. It's the same guys doing new movies.

Rex Dart

2011-12-27 11:28:31 PM

If Odo had kept his porn 'stache from Benson, he could've taken over DS9 with just a wink and a smile.

/well, he'd have Garak in his pocket, anyway

gilgigamesh

2011-12-27 11:46:35 PM

I wonder if the writers realize that earthquakes aren't possible in New Orleans as the city has no bedrock.

I mean, its a great idea, don't get me wrong. And I love anything with giant spiders, and my home town.

I'm just saying it takes a while from concept to final product, and you'd think someone somewhere along the line would realize what occurred to me three seconds into reading the article.

Dufus

2011-12-27 11:53:17 PM

gilgigamesh: I wonder if the writers realize that earthquakes aren't possible in New Orleans as the city has no bedrock.

I mean, its a great idea, don't get me wrong. And I love anything with giant spiders, and my home town.

I'm just saying it takes a while from concept to final product, and you'd think someone somewhere along the line would realize what occurred to me three seconds into reading the article.

Sediment settles, too. Back in college one of our Professors explained how the receding wetlands could allow a shift in the remaining land mass as it slid towards the Gulf causing some rather large seismic disturbances. Been 30+ years, but it was a pretty interesting and thought provoking idea.

Now I wonder how Spider gumbo is gonna taste? Hmmm....

syrynxx

2011-12-28 12:12:22 AM

Needs a Shatner cameo

Mentat

2011-12-28 12:56:11 AM

BravadoGT: What was it with Star Trek and Benson?

It's like RoboCop and 24.

Rincewind53

2011-12-28 01:02:17 AM

Stop encouraging this stuff!

FirstNationalBastard

2011-12-28 01:06:36 AM

Rincewind53: Stop encouraging this stuff!

No one is encouraging it, but Bonnie Hammer and her ilk are going to keep making it until every last vestige of Sci-Fi and its sci-fi loving fans have tuned away in disgust.

RodneyToady

2011-12-28 01:12:40 AM

BravadoGT: What was it with Star Trek and Benson?

Ethan Phillips actually told a quick story about this once, at a Trek convention. DS9 and ST:V were filming at the same time, and he and Rene Auberjonois would occasionally pass each other on the way to their respective sets. They'd greet each other with the names of their Benson characters.

/csb

dillenger69

2011-12-28 01:26:56 AM

If you pronounce it "al-been-o" the movie gains that little touch of class I'm sure they're looking for.

alienated

2011-12-28 02:38:11 AM

FirstNationalBastard: No one is encouraging it, but Bonnie Hammer and her ilk are going to keep making it until every last vestige of Sci-Fi and its sci-fi loving fans have tuned away in disgust.

this is it

Abosfreaking lutely

criscodisco

2011-12-28 04:06:09 AM

I'll preface this with the fact that I'm a huge fan of pretty much all sci-fi, and am somewhat protective of my genre of choice.

I also know that these SyFy movies are horrible, cheap, intellectually starved productions.

Yet, a nice big joint and a horrible SyFy movie is my idea of a fantastic night off. So bring it on. I can only hope for a scene where we learn that the spiders have been subsisting on a diet of beignets that were washed down storm drains. And Tracy Gold's vomit, also washed down storm drains.

criscodisco

2011-12-28 04:09:08 AM

"Tracy, our scientists have discovered that the only way to defeat these damned spiders is to eat this entire pizza."

"Well, I guess they win, then."

Coelacanth

2011-12-28 04:58:17 AM

I'm so happy I cancelled cable.

Alphax

2011-12-28 05:01:00 AM

I've heard of people using drugs to enhance their creativity, including Intel engineers.. but whoever came up with this is using bad drugs.

Rascalian

2011-12-28 05:34:33 AM

galactus5000

2011-12-28 05:35:40 AM

I like giant angry animal movies. I'll be watching this.

Apos

2011-12-28 05:53:54 AM

This had better have a Debbie Gibson or Tiffany cameo(preferably both) as schlocky icing on the cake.

swaxhog

2011-12-28 06:13:40 AM

Apos: This had better have a Debbie Gibson or Tiffany cameltoe(preferably both) as schlocky icing on the cake.

ftfy

Old enough to know better

2011-12-28 07:14:05 AM

Rincewind53: Stop encouraging this stuff!

Look on the bright side. At least they're not inflicting this shiat on the moviegoing public. It'll show on SyFy once, maybe twice, then dissapear into cinematic Hell.

nonstopcrunchy

2011-12-28 07:14:24 AM

swaxhog: Apos: This had better have a Debbie Gibson or Tiffany cameltoe(preferably both) as schlocky icing on the cake.

ftfy

What? There is prior art on this? Bring it hither, sirs.

OtherLittleGuy

2011-12-28 07:29:53 AM

I'm just glad the manatees are getting work outside of Family Guy.

OtherBrotherDarryl

2011-12-28 08:20:18 AM

And to complete the circle, that's Missy Gold in the Benson cast pic, sister of Tracy Gold. (maybe someone already caught that earlier)

abhorrent1

2011-12-28 08:20:42 AM

Tracey Gold? Now, That's A Name I've Not Heard In A Long Time.

/A Long Time

MAYORBOB

2011-12-28 08:32:44 AM

Giant albino spiders loose in N'awlins? Can the Saints sign them? Breesus would like to see how throwing to wide outs with eight arms to catch balls and which would scare the Bejeezus out of defensive backs works out.

GameSprocket

2011-12-28 08:50:37 AM

MAYORBOB: Giant albino spiders loose in N'awlins? Can the Saints sign them? Breesus would like to see how throwing to wide outs with eight arms to catch balls and which would scare the Bejeezus out of defensive backs works out.

They can't catch balls in the NFL. They are white.

/Yes, I am what is wrong with America.

Gergesa

2011-12-28 09:12:47 AM

What people are missing here is the movie should be titled something like "Giant Albino Spiders Versus The New Orleans Police Department" just like they have Megaboa vs Superpython or whatever.

There also needs to be a subtitle along the lines of "Whoever wins we still have the crap beaten out of us."

MAYORBOB

2011-12-28 09:19:33 AM

GameSprocket: MAYORBOB: Giant albino spiders loose in N'awlins? Can the Saints sign them? Breesus would like to see how throwing to wide outs with eight arms to catch balls and which would scare the Bejeezus out of defensive backs works out.

They can't catch balls in the NFL. They are white.

/Yes, I am what is wrong with America.

No, you're just misinformed (although that also might be what's wrong with America):

They can't catch balls in the NFL. They are white. -- Wes Welker would like to have a word with you.

They are white. -- They suffer from albinism (new window) which isn't limited to Caucasians.

GameSprocket

2011-12-28 09:40:31 AM

MAYORBOB: GameSprocket: MAYORBOB: Giant albino spiders loose in N'awlins? Can the Saints sign them? Breesus would like to see how throwing to wide outs with eight arms to catch balls and which would scare the Bejeezus out of defensive backs works out.

They can't catch balls in the NFL. They are white.

/Yes, I am what is wrong with America.

No, you're just misinformed (although that also might be what's wrong with America):

They can't catch balls in the NFL. They are white. -- Wes Welker would like to have a word with you.

They are white. -- They suffer from albinism (new window) which isn't limited to Caucasians.

Lol, of all the backlashes that I was expecting, you still caught me by surprise. Good job!

Seriously, I recently came across a show about the plight of albinos in Africa. I can't remember where I saw it. (Frontline?)

brigid_fitch

2011-12-28 09:52:34 AM

Mentat: BravadoGT: What was it with Star Trek and Benson?

It's like RoboCop and 24.

Still not as bad as Boston Legal, which seemed like a dumping ground for all sci-fi types. William Shatner (Star Trek), James Spader (Stargate), Rene Auberjonois (Star Trek), Mark Valley (The 4400), and I remember Jeri Ryan & Armin Shimerman both guest-starring. There may be more--I'm just going off the top of my head.

On a medical show, I can understand using sci-fi actors. After years of spouting techno-babble, medical jargon would seem a cinch. But a legal procedural just seemed odd.

OtherLittleGuy

2011-12-28 10:01:07 AM

brigid_fitch: Mentat: BravadoGT: What was it with Star Trek and Benson?

It's like RoboCop and 24.

Still not as bad as Boston Legal, which seemed like a dumping ground for all sci-fi types. William Shatner (Star Trek), James Spader (Stargate), Rene Auberjonois (Star Trek), Mark Valley (The 4400), and I remember Jeri Ryan & Armin Shimerman both guest-starring. There may be more--I'm just going off the top of my head.

On a medical show, I can understand using sci-fi actors. After years of spouting techno-babble, medical jargon would seem a cinch. But a legal procedural just seemed odd.

Also Rene Ah-ba-john-wha and Lake Bell (Surface).

As far as "Actors R Us" where you can get someone, hand them a bunch of lines on the spot, and get instant results, there's the (dwindling) pool of soap actors, and anyone on the British side of the Pond

FuturePastNow

2011-12-28 10:28:47 AM

How the hell is Neelix still getting work?

Retro42

2011-12-28 10:39:33 AM

I'd like to climb aboard the "Must Hate SyFy" train, but damnit I love this stuff. Who cares if it's complete garbage, It's the perfect night in movie.

LowbrowDeluxe

2011-12-28 11:33:31 AM

I like this stuff, but only as dessert. Syfy gets no traffic from me until they bring back something with meat to go before it.

Chewbacca_Defense

2011-12-28 11:34:40 AM

I'm much more excited to see "Danica McKeller, former star of 'The Wonder Years,' and Olympic speed skating champion Apolo Ohno will battle grizzly bear-sized Tasmanian Devils."

Wingnutwillie

2011-12-28 11:42:35 AM

Tracey Gold looks fat

Mildot

2011-12-28 11:47:16 AM

who knew??

Nihilist's Guide to Reticent Entropy

2011-12-28 11:55:25 AM

More SyFy ideas:

Athieosaurus: The tale of an atheist who turns into a giant dinosaur and terrorizes Joey Lawrence in Kansas.

Spidobirds!: Spiders with bird wings swoop down upon Frank Stallone and Kirk Cameron.

Apestorm: A dark cloud forms over Cleveland, and it's up to Scott Baio and Erin Moran to deal with the rain of carnivorous apes that fall from the sky!

Potatoskunkfire: When Tiffany Brissette (of Small Wonder fame) and David Garrison (Steve from Married With Children) travel to the Ozarks to visit family, they're shocked when a mine erupts into a giant skunk with a potato for a head.

Jazziraffe in 3D!: Bronson Pinchot and Mark-Linn Baker are back together, along with Liza Minelli, as they face the terror of a mutant giraffe that uses the power of jazz to do evil deeds!

Scorpwhale: A giant whale with a scorpion tail has trapped Salt-n-Pepa on an island, and only Tone-Loc can save them!

Apestorm 2 - The Revenge of Apestorm: The Apestorm is back, but this time it's in Michigan's upper peninsula! Watch as Ted Nugent and Henry Winkley overcome their differences to defeat the storm of apes! Featuring a cameo appearance by Samantha Fox and a moose (sadly, not Moose from You Can't Do That On Television).

Apos

2011-12-28 12:01:33 PM

FuturePastNow: How the hell is Neelix still getting work?

The same way Chakotay,Weyoun and Quark are: By hounding their agents.

foo monkey

2011-12-28 12:07:01 PM

FirstNationalBastard: The plot sounds a little thin to me.

Probably regurgitated plot points from other syfy movies.

Mugato

2011-12-28 12:07:55 PM

Wingnutwillie: Tracey Gold looks fat

I sure hope she has her barf bags next to the computer if she read that.

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