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In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. In 1493, he noticed that it hurt to pee
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A Fark Handle
2011-12-27 07:42:33 PM
so they did get something back in exchange for smallpox...
/not sure i would have wanted to go to that white elephant exchange
croesius
2011-12-27 07:42:41 PM
"I'd like to know who's plunking the monkeys."
BigLuca
2011-12-27 08:24:09 PM
14 hundred and ninety-four, guess he shouldn't have slept with that whore.
CaesarSneezy
2011-12-27 08:27:31 PM
It hurt him when he used the loo,
subby
.
Kanemano
2011-12-27 08:27:50 PM
He got it from the toilet seat. It jumped right up, And grabbed his meat
veedeevadeevoodee
2011-12-27 08:28:01 PM
"I'd like to know who's plunking the monkeys."
Did his balls feel like a pair of maracas ?
/ ai-yi-yiiiii
veedeevadeevoodee
2011-12-27 08:29:12 PM
/ ^5s
Kanemano
r1niceboy
2011-12-27 08:32:16 PM
Apparently it's the best of the sexually transmitted diseases.
Yakk
2011-12-27 08:33:30 PM
He caught it from the toilet seat.
stuhayes2010
2011-12-27 08:34:29 PM
Just read Undaunted courage, about Lewis and Clark. sounds like most everyone before we knew about germs had VD.
MrEricSir
2011-12-27 08:36:10 PM
In 1506, Columbus ate a back of dicks... and died.
/got nothin'
b3x
2011-12-27 08:36:44 PM
I don't want no doctor, to stick no needle in me
// zappa lyrics thread
JasonOfOrillia
2011-12-27 08:38:03 PM
Which contradicts this
thread
(new window)
earthworm2.0
2011-12-27 08:40:57 PM
croesius
:
"I'd like to know who's plunking the monkeys."
I had no idea that Anne frank had syphilis....
KiplingKat872
2011-12-27 08:42:13 PM
This is news? Historians have known this for ages.
bandy
2011-12-27 08:43:08 PM
The Zappa song people are indirectly referencing.
FunkOut
2011-12-27 08:44:01 PM
earthworm2.0
:
croesius: "I'd like to know who's plunking the monkeys."
I had no idea that Anne frank had syphilis....
NO no no no, Helen Keller had the clap.
BalugaJoe
2011-12-27 08:49:10 PM
Did he hang out with the Tuskegee Airmen?
cheap_thoughts
2011-12-27 08:55:12 PM
FunkOut
:
earthworm2.0: croesius: "I'd like to know who's plunking the monkeys."
I had no idea that Anne frank had syphilis....
NO no no no, Helen Keller had the clap.
I have the clap and I'm giving it to you!
ShirleySerious
2011-12-27 08:59:25 PM
With leather
fusillade762
2011-12-27 09:08:44 PM
Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
Indubitably
2011-12-27 09:08:53 PM
He peed stock.
Bucky Katt
2011-12-27 09:08:58 PM
Alfred Crosby,
The Columbian Exchange
. 30th anniversary edition. Praeger, 2003.
Latinwolf
2011-12-27 09:13:24 PM
Bravo subby, can't say anymore than that.
ArcadianRefugee
2011-12-27 09:14:02 PM
Haven't they been going back and forth with this, saying he brought it to the New/Old World depending on who did the research?
BarbadoSlim
2011-12-27 09:16:14 PM
He should have known that Taino whore was unclean.
Novart
2011-12-27 09:18:11 PM
And since all epidemics during that time were man-made, it's safe to assume the natives were genocidal maniacs.
Crazy Lee
2011-12-27 09:20:03 PM
He's just lucky he didn't try to get his peter sucked down in France.
Twist2005
2011-12-27 09:24:16 PM
Hasn't this been known for ages? I mean, we debated this in history class years ago.
Novart
2011-12-27 09:24:26 PM
Crazy Lee
:
He's just lucky he didn't try to get his peter sucked down in France.
You know what they call a peter in France? A pierre with cheese.
Ow My Balls
2011-12-27 09:34:10 PM
I am extremely pleased to see Zappa already reference within 30 posts! There is hope for you Farkers yet...
croesius
2011-12-27 09:38:35 PM
Ow My Balls
:
I am extremely pleased to see Zappa already reference within 30 posts! There is hope for you Farkers yet...
I tried to make it the first item posted, but some philistine mother beat me by 8 seconds.
/yes, it's a
real
poncho
Herr Flick's Revenge
2011-12-27 09:48:23 PM
KiplingKat872
:
This is news? Historians have known this for ages.
This.
I knew this 20+ years ago.
indig0c0gnito
2011-12-27 10:01:30 PM
"The lesson we can learn for today from history is that these epidemics are the result of unrest," Armelagos added. "With syphilis, wars were going on in Europe at the time, and all the turmoil set the stage for the disease. Nowadays, a lot of diseases jump the species barrier due to environmental unrest."
... & the internet...
/cause Jerk~a~nosis is caused by The Hun.net ...
//basement creepers are contagious...
///& the result of the un-rested is carpal tunnel... TMYK, rainbows.
Unhip1
2011-12-27 10:01:33 PM
cheap_thoughts
:
FunkOut: earthworm2.0: croesius: "I'd like to know who's plunking the monkeys."
I had no idea that Anne frank had syphilis....
NO no no no, Helen Keller had the clap.
I have the clap and I'm giving it to you!
Every time you clap, a child in Africa dies!
ArcadianRefugee
2011-12-27 10:03:17 PM
Unhip1
:
cheap_thoughts: FunkOut: earthworm2.0: croesius: "I'd like to know who's plunking the monkeys."
I had no idea that Anne frank had syphilis....
NO no no no, Helen Keller had the clap.
I have the clap and I'm giving it to you!
Every time you clap, a child in Africa dies!
While there's no causal relationship there, it's probably accurate nonetheless.
Pegasus_CAG
2011-12-27 10:16:00 PM
Every time you clap, a child in Africa dies!
Stop that!
sweet jeez
2011-12-27 10:20:49 PM
Just don't eat the slim oozing out from your tv set or yellow snow dynamo hum
sweet jeez
2011-12-27 10:22:50 PM
The poodle bites the poodle chews it snap it
Muddy1
2011-12-27 10:26:48 PM
I remember a minister once going on and on about how Columbus was first and foremost interested in spreading christianity. Yet he and the boyz come back home with syphilis. Sounds like his position on missionary skillz were AWESOME!
EBN-OZN
2011-12-27 10:39:19 PM
Out through the night an' the whisperin' breezes to the place where they keep the imaginary diseases
The Irresponsible Captain
2011-12-27 11:02:36 PM
We saw, we conquered, we came?
And what did I get for my trouble? A case of the clams.
Nontentional
2011-12-27 11:12:26 PM
First there was this thread:
Link
(new window)
Then there was this thread (as mentioned earlier by JasonOfOrillia):
Link
(new window)
Now there is this thread. I don't know what to believe!
Dear Jerk
2011-12-28 12:00:16 AM
The Nina, the Pinta, and the Loo-ooo-cille.
shizukanavix
2011-12-28 12:19:39 AM
Nontentional
:
I don't know what to believe!
How about syphilitic twins in Pompeii? 79 AD. Unless Columbus had a time machine....
Link
Mrs. Beasley
2011-12-28 12:43:46 AM
At least in this case, it was the natives who infected the crews rather than the other way around.
In the South Pacific and other tropical ports of call, there continues to be a quite similar Treponemal disease called "Yaws." It is nearly identical to
Treponema palladium
under the microscope save for a few genetic markers which, during Columbus' time, wouldn't have been on anyone's radar. In fact, most adventurers called
Treponema palladium
"The French Disease." Something to do with sheep? (Oh those Frenchies!)
Yaws is caused by
Treponema partenue
and is endemic to places like Tahiti, the Cook Islands, and New Guinea, as well as other isolated tropical locations.
While primary and often secondary Yaws (and Syphilis) are now successfully treated with various antibiotics, you will still see tertiary Yaws amongst the elders of some tribes in the tropics which completely mimic tertiary Syphilis. Once the disease has progressed to the tertiary stage, it is not treatable with antibiotics and eventually causes dementia, open suppurating sores, and a rather disgusting odor of rotting, gangrenous flesh.
Happy New Year! :-)
ktybear
2011-12-28 01:02:34 AM
good one subby
Oldiron_79
2011-12-28 01:07:38 AM
I just want to know who the chimp farker that started teh AIDS was?
gojirast
2011-12-28 01:22:39 AM
in 1494, he realized subby's mom was a whore.
Mrs. Beasley
2011-12-28 02:19:21 AM
The first reported human "patient zero" would be Monsieur Gaetan Dugas, a flight attendant for Air Canada.
The earliest crossover of HIV from "chimp" to human most likely occurred long before Gaetan did his wild sexy business in the San Francisco bathhouses, perhaps as early as 1959.
As with most virii, many events must occur before a previously non-lethal virus evolves to one as horrific as HIV.
Link
(new window)
Gaetan Dugas was posthumously vilified by most of the medical community as being "Patient Zero," but it now seems as if he was just a scapegoat for a frightened populace.
Hope that clears things up for ya.
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