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(Daily Mail) Florida Woman calls 911 because she 'ate too much food'. With bonus Adele like pic   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 49
More: Florida, travelers  
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18099 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2011 at 12:07 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
AverageAmericanGuy
2011-12-27 12:08:39 PM
I once ate too much Papa Murphy's take-n-bake Chicago style pizza. When I stood up, I tore my stomach lining.

I didn't call 911, but I don't think it would have been remiss of me to do so.
 
kid_icarus
2011-12-27 12:09:24 PM
When officers asked her to write a statement, she wrote: "My name is Mary Ellen Lisee. I have beaten, I believe in God, and He forgives me. I may joke, but I do not do crack. I will not for as long as I live."


Amen.
 
The My Little Pony Killer [TotalFark]
2011-12-27 12:11:36 PM
FTPC: Mary Ellen Lisee called 911 to come to her Florida motel and told police she had did so because she had eaten too much food


I rest my case.
 
McManus_brothers [TotalFark]
2011-12-27 12:11:42 PM
Yeah, sounds about par for the course in Fort Pierce.
 
mynameisdouglas
2011-12-27 12:12:41 PM
oh the huge mantatee!
 
Car_Ramrod
2011-12-27 12:14:04 PM
When officers asked her to write a statement, she wrote: "My name is Mary Ellen Lisee. I have beaten, I believe in God, and He forgives me. I may joke, but I do not do crack. I will not for as long as I live. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

/first draft
 
SlothB77 [TotalFark]
2011-12-27 12:14:24 PM
She does not look like Adele. Am I missing something here?
 
astralvortex
2011-12-27 12:15:08 PM
Wow, crazy and ugly. And yet, there is still someone willing to give her the bone...
 
offmymeds
2011-12-27 12:15:18 PM
Officers said they smelled alcohol on her Lisee's breath and wrote in their arrest report that she appeared to be drunk.


Huh?
 
tarheel07
2011-12-27 12:15:25 PM
In related news, the Florida tag was found dead, having aspirated its own vomit.
 
grinding_journalist
2011-12-27 12:15:40 PM
I'm sorry, I was distracted from this non-story by the pictures of supermodels and playmates in bikinis on the sidebar.

/bet they never had a problem with eating too much food
 
turbidum
2011-12-27 12:15:52 PM
The My Little Pony Killer: FTPC: Mary Ellen Lisee called 911 to come to her Florida motel and told police she had did so because she had eaten too much food


I rest my case.

Oh jeezus farking christ. I want to punch someone every time I hear shiat like that or "I haven't went there."
 
Daraymann
2011-12-27 12:15:55 PM
Might have to read this after I have had my coffee, but still, most likely, won't give a shiat.

\voting useless without trollsiest.
 
JasonOfOrillia
2011-12-27 12:16:23 PM
When officers asked her to write a statement, she wrote: "My name is Mary Ellen Lisee. I have beaten, I believe in God, and He forgives me. I may joke, but I do not do crack. I will not for as long as I live.

This statement is an inspiration to me. If I ever get arrested I may do the same.
 
mavexe
2011-12-27 12:17:09 PM
astralvortex: Wow, crazy and ugly. And yet, there is still someone willing to give her the bone...

There's always someone as horny as you are ugly.

/Not mine, but I think it was a carlin quote?
 
trekkiecougar [TotalFark]
2011-12-27 12:18:02 PM
Pshew, that's a hard 45 year old! She may not have done crack but I wonder if she has a personal relationship with meth.
 
sotua
2011-12-27 12:18:17 PM
while I did end up on my parents' couch groaning under the strain of all the food consumed, call 911? seriously?

/I was doing great until mom rolled out homemade dark chocolate parfait
//and cheesecake
///and cookies
////and chocolates
 
DrippinBalls [TotalFark]
2011-12-27 12:18:34 PM
Beefed. Or pigged.
 
Lone Stranger
2011-12-27 12:18:59 PM
Imagine the dump she took after she ate too much food.
 
wambu
2011-12-27 12:19:11 PM
i.imgur.com

Her new life coach.
 
lookheremyman
2011-12-27 12:20:39 PM
SlothB77: She does not look like Adele. Am I missing something here?

Yes. The bitter smell of Subby's jealousy at their own lack of talent.
 
jaydp88
2011-12-27 12:22:44 PM
turbidum: The My Little Pony Killer: FTPC: Mary Ellen Lisee called 911 to come to her Florida motel and told police she had did so because she had eaten too much food


I rest my case.

Oh jeezus farking christ. I want to punch someone every time I hear shiat like that or "I haven't went there."

My beef is with "I seen..."
 
kid_icarus
2011-12-27 12:24:05 PM
Lone Stranger: Imagine the dump she took after she ate too much food.

You have ruined my brain forever.
 
Maul555
2011-12-27 12:24:48 PM
FTA: The woman's boyfriend told police he was leaving to get some peace and quiet because she was 'talking too much.'



This story is completely true...
 
LeroyBourne
2011-12-27 12:27:59 PM
And the bf got his peace and quiet. That's the best part of the story.
 
Lone Stranger
2011-12-27 12:36:46 PM
kid_icarus: Lone Stranger: Imagine the dump she took after she ate too much food.

You have ruined my brain forever.

So many people tell me that in real life too.
 
squirrelfury
2011-12-27 12:38:39 PM
LeroyBourne: And the bf got his peace and quiet. That's the best part of the story.

A Christmas miracle!
 
groppet
2011-12-27 12:39:41 PM
I was at the folks al weekend being force fed by my. I went over a speed bump on the way home. That shook something los. So I ran for the toilet the second I walked in the door.
 
EnochEmery
2011-12-27 12:40:49 PM
Does that mean she can't sing, or that when she does it's like nails on a chalkboard?

/how can subby tell from the picture?
 
envirovore
2011-12-27 12:41:32 PM
She even managed to eat the Florida tag, I'm impressed.
 
Oznog
2011-12-27 12:41:45 PM
Hello, 911?

I accidentally a Fleshlight- THE WHOLE THING!!
 
Big Man On Campus
2011-12-27 12:43:03 PM
images.cheezburger.com

/no cold links
 
vudukungfu
2011-12-27 12:43:45 PM
offmymeds: Officers said they smelled alcohol on her Lisee's breath and wrote in their arrest report that she appeared to be drunk.


Huh?

It was actually 6 fruitcakes fermenting in a gallon of Hi-C in her stomach.
 
LessO2
2011-12-27 12:46:32 PM
Florida tag on holiday?

Subby hasn't seen latest Adele picture.


/get off my lawn
 
Pants full of macaroni!! [TotalFark]
2011-12-27 12:47:10 PM
SlothB77: She does not look like Adele. Am I missing something here?

All fatties look alike to us.
 
NightOwl2255
2011-12-27 12:47:57 PM
I, for one, am gawd damn glad they arrested this dangerous criminal. I don't care how much time and money is wasted, she drunk-dialed 911 over 250 times. What? Once? She only called once? Well, you make the man put down his doughnut and actually do something, you should expect some jail time.
 
envirovore
2011-12-27 12:51:47 PM
Looks like she finally threw up (crapped out?) the Florida tag.
All is well with the world now.
 
Zoomaster
2011-12-27 12:54:53 PM
LessO2: Florida tag on holiday?

Subby hasn't seen latest Adele picture.


+++++++++++++++++++

This

/the side bar had some good pics tho

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
Zoomaster
2011-12-27 12:57:31 PM
 
Zoomaster
2011-12-27 12:58:57 PM
I srcewed something up, the above link has some NSFW photos in the article.
 
jim32rr [TotalFark]
2011-12-27 01:11:41 PM
SlothB77: She does not look like Adele. Am I missing something here?

My fingertips betrayed me, I was sure it was her based on the braille version of the story I am forced to use. I am as shocked as you that this got past the Pro-Adle lobby here on Fark. I have nothing against her huffing souless voice nor am I concerned with her life expectancy reducing weight issues. Again I am sorry

Janis Joplin/Amy Winehouse...Never Forget.

///Subby
 
LarryDan43
2011-12-27 01:13:50 PM
Someone liiiike youuuuoooohhhhhoouuuuuooooooah.
 
NightOwl2255
2011-12-27 01:27:08 PM
Zoomaster: /the side bar had some good pics tho

Let me start by saying, yes, I would hit it, of course. I would give her the best 90 seconds she would have that day! But, she's not that attractive. And her boobs have that look that any 28 year old boobs have that have never seen a bra. But, she looks a thousand times better than this:
i.dailymail.co.uk

Why do man find this attractive?
www.sensory-processing-disorder.com
 
Charles Martel
2011-12-27 02:02:42 PM
turbidum: Oh jeezus farking christ. I want to punch someone every time I hear shiat like that or "I haven't went there."

Exactly. Everyone knows it's "I ain't went their."

Morans.
 
NationalHero
2011-12-27 04:00:41 PM
This thread corrected itself almost immediately and went in the right direction. Could've so easily been the other way!
 
yellow_shark
2011-12-27 04:12:09 PM
The My Little Pony Killer: FTPC: Mary Ellen Lisee called 911 to come to her Florida motel and told police she had did so because she had eaten too much food


I rest my case.

This.
 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache
2011-12-27 05:32:53 PM
This is how we know she's fat.
 
here to help
2011-12-27 06:49:20 PM
She sounds mentally ill. Let's throw her into the criminal justice system. That'll totally help.
 
911Jenny
2011-12-27 07:41:33 PM
Charles Martel: turbidum: Oh jeezus farking christ. I want to punch someone every time I hear shiat like that or "I haven't went there."

Exactly. Everyone knows it's "I ain't went their."

Morans.

Your funny! If I could of come up with that on my own I would of.

/my brain...I just pulled a muscle...
 
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