Snowflake thread? Sad you didn't get a new i-pad or new car?

basemetal: Snowflake thread?

dickkead: basemetal: Snowflake thread?

[i183.photobucket.com image 624x360]

Which episode of Star Trek is that from?

Great Holiday! Lots of fun with family and friends.

Only hiccup the entire day was when my cousin brought his girlfriend and her children and didn't tell us they were coming. Not that we minded the extra people, but we didn't have presents for the kids. So one of my brothers made an emergency run to Walgreens so the kids would have something to open.
It was a fantastic holiday. No family breakdowns, no meth head freakouts, no fighting over the rules to Scrabble.

I think this was the first Christmas where nothing went really wrong.

Though I did have that one Christmas where my girlfriend wouldn't talk to me. While with my entire family... that was pretty terrible.

It's over. Nothing terribly interesting to note, other than my Nixon-era housewife mother still hasn't learned how to cook for less than about ten people. Mom, really, there's only three of us here.

Only thing close to a horror story for us was my BiL's extremely antisocial new girlfriend. We tried to include her in stuff, but she was more interested in texting and dry humping my brother in law. They have been together for a little over 3 weeks and are very public about their displays of affection. But, on christmas morning, he told her that he loved her in front of everybody and she pretty much said "meh"
It was pretty sad and awkward.

nopokerface: sign_of_Zeta: Though I did have that one Christmas where my girlfriend wouldn't talk to me. While with my entire family... that was pretty terrible.

Sounds awesome to me.

She still was able to say "I'm mad at you" with her eyes... not fun.

Not a horror story but it could've been much, much worse...

Christmas Eve Mass. My daughter is in the children's choir. Myself, my wife, and son are sitting in the very first pew in a side alcove off of the altar. This is a children's liturgy so they have a "live" nativity made up of a bunch of 2-4 yearl olds. So mass is basically over and they bring the nativity kids out again to set up in front of the altar. And they file past us and I smile because they're so cute...little kids dressed up as sheep wearing sweat suits with cotton balls glued to them. So they all sort of kneel in a semi-circle facing the front of the church...me and the family are looking at the backs of the kids on the side. It's quiet, ya know? It's church. So I hear my wife whisper:

"Oh, dear".
I lean over and whisper "what's wrong"?
"Nothing", she says.
A few seconds pass
"Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no" she says and covers her eyes. I hear my son start to chuckle.
"What is going on", I ask.
No reply...she just has her face in her hand.
Figuring it was nothing, I look back to the children...Oh, dear, indeed!

One of the little "sheep" was a girl who was probably 3 or 4, She was kneeling down and her sweat pants had slipped. And by "slipped" I mean were halfway down her ass exposing her butt crack to the sanctity of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

So I start giggling...and my wife is silently laughing...and so is my son. And we each are making the others laugh harder. And see, it's only us that see it because the several pews behind us had been filled with the kids and are now empty. And the church is completely silent because the priest is waiting for the kids to sing or something (which they weren't) and the kids were waiting on the priest to wrap up mass! So we're sitting! And minutes are passing and the three of us are red in the face, coughing, and generally acting like immature heathens...only we couldn't help it. And it was funnier because we WERE in church.

And so I start to make comments like "look, there's 4 sheep and a little ass" and "I thought the wise men were guided by a star, not a moon" and similar thoughts.

Eventually, the kids turns toward us and now her back porch is exposed to the *other* side of the church and I see the expressions on their faces and now I'm about sliding down to the floor with tears in my eyes!!

Thanksfully, the priest realized he was supposed to bring this thing home and did the sign of the cross and released me from my torment.

What can I say? I'm mentally a 10-year old...

Mrs. Henry bought me not one but TWO sweater vests, goddammitsoverymuch!

I had a pretty awesome Christmas.

My only problem is I barely have enough room to play with Kinect.

Al_Ed: ...
Christmas Eve Mass...

Ok that is awesome.

/As for me--way too much port and cognac combined with way too much heavy Polish food counts as a horror story the next day.

I got stuck at the office one year. This surprise European project suddenly fell in my lap and the boss checked out early. I was doing all the damn work myself and was only getting yelled at for my troubles. I had to run around the office all night taking out problem after problem until I was finally able to drop Alan Rickman out a window.

4.5 hours at Midnight mass (my BF is a Catholic, I'm an atheist). We got there at 9:30 and got home at 2am. At one point I feigned diarrhea and hung out in the bathroom for an hour. Then, got up at 8am to drive 2.5 hours to see his 92 year old mom and take her up to her daughter's house where we would all have lunch. Well, she decided she didnt' want to go. There are no restaurants open in Colby, WI on Christmas so she pulled some chicken out of the freezer which had expired in February but said it should still be good. It wasn't. I enjoyed legitimate diarrhea on the way back home to Minneapolis.

Apparently karma works or something.

sign_of_Zeta: nopokerface: sign_of_Zeta: Though I did have that one Christmas where my girlfriend wouldn't talk to me. While with my entire family... that was pretty terrible.

Sounds awesome to me.

She still was able to say "I'm mad at you" with her eyes... not fun.

So...why was she mad at you?

Al_Ed: And so I start to make comments like "look, there's 4 sheep and a little ass" and "I thought the wise men were guided by a star, not a moon" and similar thoughts.

Hehehehe.

Christmas Eve, clogged sink drain (someone put asparagus down the disposal). One hour later, with a drain auger, I cleared it up.
Christmas morning - my Mom breaks a glass, broken glass all over the counters and floor.
Christmas Day - another clogged sink drain (this time potato peels). ...Another hour with the drain auger.

Christmas Eve service - Priest addresses the congregation about 20 minutes before the service: "is there a doctor or a dentist in the congregation?" Never found out what happened, though.

Christmas Day - had a few rounds of scotch with my BIL.
Wife gives me a free pass to purchase a 0.22 target pistol.
WIN.

Al_Ed: Christmas Eve Mass.

I wish my Christmas Eve Mass was as entertaining as that.

I just had to deal with my Fox News loving MiL. I like her, but she's one of those types who has to fill every second with talking, and usually she tries to make conversations about things she no nothing about (but thinks she does).

Some fun conversations I had to deal with were stores saying Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays and how I managed to reconcile science and religion. With the Merry Christmas thing I just nodded and smiled, and when she brought up science and religion (which was several glasses of wine into the night) I only said that I never saw a conflict between the two and went back to watching Doctor Who.

It wouldn't bother me but this is a woman who never goes to church. It just rings hollow when she tries to discuss God, especially when most of it seems to be the same arguments made by Fox News.

This was my first sober Christmas. I expected to be miserable, depressed, and bored, but it was surprisingly good.

poison_in_the_pancakes: This was my first sober Christmas. I expected to be miserable, depressed, and bored, but it was surprisingly good.

That is great!

Oh great, this went green, now that picture is gonna make me look like a dickhead...

dickkead: Oh great, this went green, now that picture is gonna make me look like a dickhead...

It's not the picture...

stpauler: 4.5 hours at Midnight mass

What Mass lasts more than an hour?

They're doing it wrong.

I guess mass for me was pretty bad too. My daughter threw a fit after the first scripture reading and i spent the rest of the service in the cry room with 5 other parents of small children. So I pretty much went to church to have a playdate with strangers for my daughter.

spcMike: stpauler: 4.5 hours at Midnight mass

What Mass lasts more than an hour?

They're doing it wrong.

My wedding mass was close to 2 hours.

CoolBeans: Christmas morning - my Mom breaks a glass, broken glass all over the counters and floor.

Read that as "all over the curtains and floor" and was a little concerned at how volatile your Christmas seemed to be.

I had a great Christmas for a change.

Of course my Aunt, who thinks she is an authority on everything, was there and talked incessantly. I managed to make it two days before telling her to STFD and STFU. This happens every year but the amount of time it takes me to slam the door on her varies according to aggravation level and alcohol consumption rate.

The day came the day after Christmas when she was firing questions at me prior to even so much as a sip of coffee.

KingoftheCheese: spcMike: stpauler: 4.5 hours at Midnight mass

What Mass lasts more than an hour?

They're doing it wrong.

My wedding mass was close to 2 hours.

Wow, my wedding mass was maybe an hour and 5 minutes.

The only masses I have been to that last longer than an hour were during Holy Week.

Well, it could have been worse.

stpauler: 4.5 hours at Midnight mass

Shoot me in the head before making me do that.

spcMike: stpauler: 4.5 hours at Midnight mass

What Mass lasts more than an hour?

They're doing it wrong.

Well, we got there at 9:30 to make sure we had seats right after the 8:30 services. The whole place did fill up and people were put into other chapels and meeting rooms to watch via TV. Here was their schedule:

Eve of the Solemnity of the Nativity of the Lord
Saturday, December 24
4:00pm Vigil Eucharist children's choirs, cantor,
organ
6:30pm Vigil Eucharist contemporary choir,
youth choirs, piano
8:30pm Vigil Eucharist Renaissance ensemble,
organ
10:30pm Prelude Music harp, flute, organ
11:00pm Choral Music cathedral choir, harp,
organ
11:30pm Vigil of Lights cathedral choir, organ
Midnight Solemn Eucharist cathedral choir, brass,
harp, organ

Everything went mostly OK this year aside from my cousin's grandmother telling me about her physically dead heart and how her pacemaker and defibrillator are the only thing keeping her alive right now. Then my cousin's boyfriend told me about his heart with retarded valves and he has to get a pacemaker soon. Then one uncle burst into tears when I said hello to him because he has cirrhosis of the liver AND esophageal cancer and this is the last time he's going to see me.

Then another uncle drank a bottle of crown and started lecturing that I need to hurry up and knock up my wife.

Other than that things were fine.

My Mom used to take us to Midnight Mass when we were kids.

Awful. The place was packed to the teeth, it was hot, and kids were constantly screaming. Plus it took like 3 goddamn hours.

fark that.

I'm Methodist so the 11pm Christmas Eve Service is only an hour. I might stay a few minutes after to talk to friends I haven't seen in awhile.

From this year?

Friday night my shoulder was itching and I commented that I thought I'd been bitten by a bug. A rash developed on my back through Saturday. By Christmas I had a fever and the rash had spread along my spine, around to my torso, and down my chest and arms. I felt bumps on my ears and eyelids.

Fever broke late yesterday and the rash seems to be subsiding.

WTF was that?

Alpha Sierra Foxtrot: sign_of_Zeta: nopokerface: sign_of_Zeta: Though I did have that one Christmas where my girlfriend wouldn't talk to me. While with my entire family... that was pretty terrible.

Sounds awesome to me.

She still was able to say "I'm mad at you" with her eyes... not fun.

So...why was she mad at you?

I never found out why. She was dealing with personal stuff at the time. I think some offhand comment must have just put her in a terrible mood.

I got a call Christmas morning to let me know that my mom has colon cancer. Spread to her liver. And she was in surgery to remove a lot of her colon.

Other than that, it was ok.

Other than the fact that my daughter was a little monster during Christmas Eve mass, it was lovely.

KingoftheCheese: Only thing close to a horror story for us was my BiL's extremely antisocial new girlfriend. We tried to include her in stuff, but she was more interested in texting and dry humping my brother in law. They have been together for a little over 3 weeks and are very public about their displays of affection. But, on christmas morning, he told her that he loved her in front of everybody and she pretty much said "meh"
It was pretty sad and awkward.

I feel bad for laughing at this.

I normally go to bed at 11:00. On Friday my girlfriend and her friends expected me to stay up until 2. I coudn't... TE HORROR.

nopokerface:

I am terribly sorry to hear that.

Yeah. Me too. I can't go visit till March. Siblings will all be there in the next week or so.

Waiting for word on the liver biopsy.

I am sitting on an Amtrak train headed to rochester. TOP THAT

Alpha Sierra Foxtrot: CoolBeans: Christmas morning - my Mom breaks a glass, broken glass all over the counters and floor.

Read that as "all over the curtains and floor" and was a little concerned at how volatile your Christmas seemed to be.

oh - thanks all the same.
T'was pretty mellow.