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(IndyStar) Fail Robber pulls the old "hard object in the back" routine. Employee counters with the "real gun face-shootin" maneuver   (indystar.com) divider line 202
More: Fail, Kroger, Central Indiana, visual routine, robbery, objects  
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15347 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2011 at 1:15 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



202 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2011-12-26 08:40:21 PM
Tag is for robber I guess. Employee was full of win.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-12-26 08:41:14 PM
is suspected of placing a hard object into the back of a female employee of the store

Maybe he was just happy to see her.
 
2011-12-26 08:53:55 PM
The article doesn't say what the "hard" object was. Must have been one of the rocks in his head.
 
2011-12-26 08:55:00 PM
ZAZ: is suspected of placing a hard object into the back of a female employee of the store

Maybe he was just happy to see her.


I doubt a loser like that can work up that much enthusiasm.
 
2011-12-26 10:34:00 PM
Laocoon: Tag is for robber I guess. Employee was full of win.

Yep, but you just know that Kroger will fire the employee.
 
2011-12-26 10:44:42 PM
The wounded man is in the hospital.

Wounded man? We call them criminals around here.
 
2011-12-26 10:45:11 PM
Boom! Headshot.

Seriously hope he wasn't still behind the female with his "hard object". I'm a pretty good shot, but I'm envisioning the employee shooting from in front of the woman, possibly over her shoulder? Good thing he didn't pull a Keaneau.

/or however the hell you spell it.
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2011-12-26 11:13:10 PM
Never bring a hard object, that isn't a gun, to a gun fight.

I, too, suspect the employee will be fired.
 
2011-12-26 11:23:28 PM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2011-12-26 11:28:00 PM
What if it wasn't a hard object? It could have been worse. Much worse.

Hard Object:

www.groupthink.com.au
 
2011-12-27 12:57:58 AM
I'm just wondering how someone has a gun at Kroger's.

/wonders if he'll be shot for forgetting his Kroger Plus card
 
2011-12-27 01:03:38 AM
FTFA: The man forced her to the office area where another employee fired a gun at the man, striking him in the face. Investigators late Monday did not anticipate any arrest.

God, I love stories like this. Seriously. Excellent find, subby.

(*sigh*) Of course, though the cops aren't looking to arrest the employee, the dead robber's family will sue Kroger, the employee who killed their family member, and probably the employee he was trying to hold up -- and they'll probably get some kind of settlement as a result. Kroger will probably fire the employee who killed the robber. And that sucks.
 
2011-12-27 01:23:59 AM
It wasn't really a maneuver, more of a gesture.
 
2011-12-27 01:27:51 AM
Fark Me To Tears: God, I love stories like this. Seriously. Excellent find, subby.

While I'm sure subby appreciates your enthusiasm, I find it a bit misplaced.
And creepy.
 
2011-12-27 01:28:39 AM
Done in one . . . shot.
 
2011-12-27 01:29:05 AM
Rehabilitation works
 
2011-12-27 01:29:31 AM
Fark Me To Tears: FTFA: The man forced her to the office area where another employee fired a gun at the man, striking him in the face. Investigators late Monday did not anticipate any arrest.

God, I love stories like this. Seriously. Excellent find, subby.

(*sigh*) Of course, though the cops aren't looking to arrest the employee, the dead robber's family will sue Kroger, the employee who killed their family member, and probably the employee he was trying to hold up -- and they'll probably get some kind of settlement as a result. Kroger will probably fire the employee who killed the robber. And that sucks.


Well, I pretty much came here to say this. This is better because my version has a lot more profanity.
 
2011-12-27 01:31:08 AM
feckingmorons: Wounded man? We call them criminals around here.

Actually, he died. Should be calling him the deceased.
 
2011-12-27 01:31:09 AM
Bathia_Mapes: Laocoon: Tag is for robber I guess. Employee was full of win.

Yep, but you just know that Kroger will fire the employee.


Oh yeah. WAY too much possible liability for them to encourage that kind of behavior.

/used to work at Fred Meyer before Kroger bought them
 
2011-12-27 01:32:16 AM
Proposed new constitutional amendment:

If you get killed while committing a violent felony, everyone on earth is prohibited from suing anyone over the death. Furthermore, the family of the dead felon shall be excluded from all public assistance programs for a period equal to the age of the dead felon plus the ages of anyone else killed during the crime.
 
2011-12-27 01:34:56 AM
And nothing of value was lost.
 
2011-12-27 01:37:15 AM
this is evidence that carrying a gun causes more problems than it solves. this stupid dude got blown away just for pretending like he had a gun. think about that.
 
2011-12-27 01:38:47 AM
i110.photobucket.com

Approves.
 
2011-12-27 01:40:12 AM
nburghmatt: this is evidence that carrying a gun causes more problems than it solves. this stupid dude got blown away just for pretending like he had a gun. think about that.

You've gotta try harder than that. What you said doesn't even make sense.

New to trolling?
 
2011-12-27 01:42:40 AM
soundguy: Proposed new constitutional amendment:

If you get killed while committing a violent felony, everyone on earth is prohibited from suing anyone over the death. Furthermore, the family of the dead felon shall be excluded from all public assistance programs for a period equal to the age of the dead felon plus the ages of anyone else killed during the crime.


If you run for office, I will vote for you.

fat boy: Rehabilitation works

Who is going to pay for that? If you say the government I will punch you in the ovaries. He certainly wouldn't. People like this do not need to living on the same planet as my daughter. I have been down and out before and not once have I ever thought to do something like this.
Good riddance.
 
2011-12-27 01:45:08 AM
This is why robbers should just neutralize the clerk and run off with the money, instead of wasting time and effort trying to subdue them. Just because the gunman is showing restraint doesn't mean the clerk is civilized enough to show the same courtesy. If they're a lifer, their self-respect and identity may be so tied up in the job that they are willing to kill a desperate, downtrodden man just to stop him from taking some rich 1%er asshole's profits, which are probably insured anyway.

In fact, many of those clerks are probably internet tough guys who have been waiting years for the chance to blow someone's head off with no repercussions. This is not surprising, because working in retail would make anyone bitter and angry. If you're robbing a store, don't give these animals a chance to fulfill their perverted desires - put them out of commission quickly and eliminate the risk. The important thing is that you go back home to your family safely, after a hard day's work.
 
2011-12-27 01:46:22 AM
The dead man's estate should be charged for the cost of cleaning up the bloody mess.
 
2011-12-27 01:48:15 AM
fat boy: Rehabilitation works

This worked better
 
2011-12-27 01:48:50 AM
TheWhoppah: The dead man's estate should be charged for the cost of cleaning up the bloody mess.

And the ammunition
 
2011-12-27 01:50:40 AM
Better 12 than 6.


/i'm sure the police got there in time to write up the report.
 
2011-12-27 01:52:45 AM
FTFA: The wounded man, described as in his mid-20s, was taken in serious condition to a hospital where he later died

Yeah, but was he hat-less?

That's some fine reportin' there, Lou.
 
2011-12-27 01:54:40 AM
Am I the only one who would feel remorse for shooting an unarmed, albeit useless, person in the face even though I thought they were armed at the time?

Maybe I should see a psychiatrist to get over my shooting people who have yet to harm anyone phobia?
 
2011-12-27 01:56:34 AM
I propose that if you walk into a store with a gun (or simulate one) and rob the place, your right to life has been revoked for the time it takes you to commit your crime. Reason being that guns can kill so quickly there isn't any assurance the criminal wont use it right before ducking out of the store.
 
2011-12-27 01:59:22 AM
nburghmatt: this is evidence that carrying a gun causes more problems than it solves. this stupid dude got blown away just for pretending like he had a gun. think about that.

i.imgur.com
 
2011-12-27 02:01:15 AM
Sigh...I am sure that the robber's family will sue and win some sort of monetary judgement. I am hoping the shooter will sue and win a judgement TO RAPE AND SKULLFARK THEIR CORPSES SHOULD THEY TRY TO COLLECT!!!! Though it would be nicer if the criminal's family was denied monetary reward for their relative's bad behavior.

It is a reflection on society nowadays where normal honest good people are penalized for just trying to serve the public and take care of their families. The fact that people can be sued after they have shot the robber who was robbing them with what is thought to be lethal force. (Even though it has not been determined that the shooter will be sued, I am going out on the tangent that they will because the precedent has been set..) is an abhorhent thought. We need to give these people medals, not prosecute them.

We need to execute the criminals quicker. A lot of our problems can be solved by applying a .22 caliber bullet behind the earlobe shortly after a capital offense has been proven against a defendant.
 
2011-12-27 02:01:20 AM
Fark Me To Tears: Kroger will probably fire the employee who killed the robber. And that sucks.

Good luck. Unless the employee was a manager, he's got union reps behind him.

/oh wait, this is fark where unions never do anything good.
 
2011-12-27 02:07:06 AM
nburghmatt: this is evidence that carrying a gun causes more problems than it solves. this stupid dude got blown away just for pretending like he had a gun. think about that.

I don't know if you're trolling, but in my book, that means the system is working properly.

Don't pretend you're going to kill somebody and they won't think they have to kill you for real to save their life. Pretty simple, there.
 
2011-12-27 02:07:58 AM
IronMdn: We need to execute the criminals quicker. A lot of our problems can be solved by applying a .22 caliber bullet behind the earlobe shortly after a capital offense has been proven against a defendant.

Problem: Convicted innocents. Happens way too often. That's why we have such a delay.
 
2011-12-27 02:13:02 AM
I'd like to see the look on his face when he saw the other guy pull a REAL gun -

Oh, wait.

Never mind.
 
2011-12-27 02:16:56 AM
Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Fark Me To Tears: Kroger will probably fire the employee who killed the robber. And that sucks.

Good luck. Unless the employee was a manager, he's got union reps behind him.

/oh wait, this is fark where unions never do anything good.


Since when is the employee at the local grocery store a union member! Not to mention that Indiana isn't a right to work state. Oh, and I'm sure Kroger has policies about carrying guns during work, and about cooperating during a robbery.

I like that the guy defended his co-worker and killed a bad guy, but he's probably going to lose his job, fast.
 
2011-12-27 02:17:44 AM
nburghmatt: got blown away just for pretending like he had a gun

he got blown for threatening

// getting blown could be nicer
 
2011-12-27 02:22:24 AM
Plastic Trash Vortex: This is why robbers should just neutralize the clerk and run off with the money, instead of wasting time and effort trying to subdue them. Just because the gunman is showing restraint doesn't mean the clerk is civilized enough to show the same courtesy. If they're a lifer, their self-respect and identity may be so tied up in the job that they are willing to kill a desperate, downtrodden man just to stop him from taking some rich 1%er asshole's profits, which are probably insured anyway.

In fact, many of those clerks are probably internet tough guys who have been waiting years for the chance to blow someone's head off with no repercussions. This is not surprising, because working in retail would make anyone bitter and angry. If you're robbing a store, don't give these animals a chance to fulfill their perverted desires - put them out of commission quickly and eliminate the risk. The important thing is that you go back home to your family safely, after a hard day's work.


Bravo sir!!!
 
2011-12-27 02:30:13 AM
Bathia_Mapes:

Yep, but you just know that Kroger will fire the employee.


As she should be. Because of this, the next couple fifty or so times someone robs places like Krogers, they're going to shoot first and give a damn later. They tell you to give them what they want for YOUR safety. Kroger's is insured against theft. Your life? Not so insured against getting shot over a corporate board's pittance. And, whoever did that deserved *something* for choosing a really foolish and desperate path. Being shot in the face was NOT it.
 
2011-12-27 02:31:46 AM
HideAndGoFarkYourself: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Fark Me To Tears: Kroger will probably fire the employee who killed the robber. And that sucks.

Good luck. Unless the employee was a manager, he's got union reps behind him.

/oh wait, this is fark where unions never do anything good.

Since when is the employee at the local grocery store a union member! Not to mention that Indiana isn't a right to work state. Oh, and I'm sure Kroger has policies about carrying guns during work, and about cooperating during a robbery.

I like that the guy defended his co-worker and killed a bad guy, but he's probably going to lose his job, fast.


A lot of grocery store employees belong to a union, generally United Food and Commercial Workers International Union (UFCW). UFCW has members in supermarkets, meatpacking and meat processing plants, food processing plants, poultry processing plants, manufacturing and retail stores.
 
2011-12-27 02:37:55 AM
Bathia_Mapes: HideAndGoFarkYourself: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Fark Me To Tears: Kroger will probably fire the employee who killed the robber. And that sucks.

Good luck. Unless the employee was a manager, he's got union reps behind him.

/oh wait, this is fark where unions never do anything good.

Since when is the employee at the local grocery store a union member! Not to mention that Indiana isn't a right to work state. Oh, and I'm sure Kroger has policies about carrying guns during work, and about cooperating during a robbery.

I like that the guy defended his co-worker and killed a bad guy, but he's probably going to lose his job, fast.

A lot of grocery store employees belong to a union, generally United Food and Commercial Workers International Union (UFCW). UFCW has members in supermarkets, meatpacking and meat processing plants, food processing plants, poultry processing plants, manufacturing and retail stores.


Yeah, I used to work at Fred Meyer as a boss. The "normal" floor people are all union, once you become a boss, you're no longer part of it. When you get high enough to get shiat on by the big boss, you even go to salary. But anyway...I loathe unions, but in this case I hope they'll find some way to let him keep his job. But uh...carrying a firearm at work is a big no-no.

If I were a betting man I would put money on the laws stating no firearms in the workplace against whatever the union can drum up in order to save his job. But I hope I'm wrong.
 
2011-12-27 02:38:21 AM
delreydaddio: Bathia_Mapes:

Yep, but you just know that Kroger will fire the employee.

As she should be. Because of this, the next couple fifty or so times someone robs places like Krogers, they're going to shoot first and give a damn later...


And as a result I expect people will stop trying to rob places like Krogers well before they get to fifty attempts.
 
2011-12-27 02:45:36 AM
Sooo... he tried to get it on with my ex wife?

*adjusts tie*

Ahem... my ex-wife?

...

/has never been married
 
2011-12-27 02:45:53 AM
IronMdn: Sigh...I am sure that the robber's family will sue and win some sort of monetary judgement. I am hoping the shooter will sue and win a judgement TO RAPE AND SKULLFARK THEIR CORPSES SHOULD THEY TRY TO COLLECT!!!! Though it would be nicer if the criminal's family was denied monetary reward for their relative's bad behavior.

It is a reflection on society nowadays where normal honest good people are penalized for just trying to serve the public and take care of their families. The fact that people can be sued after they have shot the robber who was robbing them with what is thought to be lethal force. Derp, it's an abhorhent (SIC, you idiot) thought. We need to give these people medals, not prosecute them.

We need to execute the criminals quicker. A lot of our problems can be solved by applying a .22 caliber bullet behind the earlobe shortly after a capital offense has been proven against a defendant.


You are an abhorrent fascist wannabe piece of shiat. I rarely ever speak like that about people, but you are the antithesis of what it means to be an American. You're like a troll spam king typing furiously from mother Russia. Scumbag. People like you run for Grand Dragon of the KKK, and NEVER get elected to any position where your mid-brain idiot hate and evil mentality can EVER affect the public good. Tea Party Klansmen are pathetic, but even the worst of them would be fifty steps up from your disgusting and I.Q.-parched shiat-for-brains hate orgy of one. Do everyone a favor and consider your statements to be a capitol offense and put that .22 to your own empty skull.

Cheers, comrade Cletus.
 
2011-12-27 02:46:45 AM
Plastic Trash Vortex: If they're a lifer, their self-respect and identity may be so tied up in the job that they are willing to kill a desperate, downtrodden man just to stop him from taking some rich 1%er asshole's profits, which are probably insured anyway.

It's more than just protecting profits. The coworker who shot the robber thought her friend had a gun pointed at her, meaning her life was in danger. When robbers make people think they're going to be shot, people are going to react accordingly, protecting the profits being a much less important motivator.
 
2011-12-27 02:49:21 AM
jingks: Am I the only one who would feel remorse for shooting an unarmed, albeit useless, person in the face even though I thought they were armed at the time?

Maybe I should see a psychiatrist to get over my shooting people who have yet to harm anyone phobia?


Yes. Yes you should. I don't believe in revenge but I do believe in prevenge.
 
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