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(ABC)   18-year-old's Facebook status: "Yo dawg, just robbed a store in Pittsburgh. Here's a picture of them loot." *The Pittsburgh Police Department and 4 others like this.*   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 135
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26260 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2011 at 8:06 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-12-26 11:11:01 PM

thenateman: [gawker.com image 599x654]
Reminds me of this thread from 1998.

If a popular website posts a link to your ridiculous Craigslist ad, it's probably not a good idea to call them up and leave a ranting phone message, as they will post that too (new window)


Dudes got a window unit
 
2011-12-26 11:18:16 PM

DerechoSCK: Another example of how Facebook infringes on all of our privacy. Sadly, this fine upstanding young man has to pay the price for their greed.

/amidoingthisright?


You ALMOST had that Freeper ring to it!
 
2011-12-26 11:18:47 PM

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


Just got to use the Funny button for the first time.

Well played, sir.
 
2011-12-26 11:29:29 PM
But how else was he going to afford a pair of new Nike Air Jordans - get a job?
 
2011-12-26 11:31:27 PM
This wanna be gangsta has to be, or has to want to be black. Yep, the hair gives him away,,,*snickers*
 
2011-12-26 11:33:47 PM

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


And this, Mr. LowELL, is why you're the only troll I have favourited in green instead of red.
 
2011-12-26 11:45:26 PM

Trance354: I think the 18-year-old "man" needs to be sent back to school. "Man" used in quotes to note that he's acting like a child, of course.

Mike Lowell needs to come out as the troll he is. Nicely done, though, getting so many bites. Your murder of grammar and syntax was almost enough to get me to believe, but it was much too long to be one of those hooligans; their average attention span beeing much shorter than the time it took to type that out. Much like the dog in UP, the average 18-year-old these days tends to move from topic to ... "Squirrel!"

/blatantly stolen from John Stewart
//you lay low with the cash, you don't flaunt it, or you go out the way of John Dillinger


Of course he's trolling. That's why it's funny ffs!

Diaf!
 
2011-12-26 11:51:41 PM

Degenz: Fail tag must be for abcnews.go.com for posting a video (that starts automatically at full volume, of course) about a totally different robbery.


THIS...
 
2011-12-26 11:55:35 PM

probesport: [failfun.com image 485x605]


Uhh... is that a young Obama?
 
2011-12-26 11:58:53 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: But how else was he going to afford a pair of new Nike Air Jordans - get a job?




Perhaps photoshopping is the way to go for those shoes...
cdn-www.i-am-bored.com
hot (the pic, not the shoes...)
 
2011-12-27 12:15:32 AM

thenateman: [gawker.com image 599x654]
Reminds me of this thread from 1998.

If a popular website posts a link to your ridiculous Craigslist ad, it's probably not a good idea to call them up and leave a ranting phone message, as they will post that too (new window)


Fark wasn't created until 1999.
/Those are all mistakes, Otto.
//I looked them up.
 
2011-12-27 12:27:23 AM
How do I get back to FARK Classic?
 
2011-12-27 12:29:53 AM

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


You sound black.
 
2011-12-27 12:35:12 AM

Poowaddins: Autoplaying videos with loud volume need to DIAF.

Oh, and the people involved are dipshiats. 'Nuff said.


That shiat would wake the whole farking house up, it ought to have an NSF warning in the farking headline.
 
2011-12-27 12:47:16 AM

GoldenEggs: NOPE, You're not allowed to profile them...


Who's "them?"
 
2011-12-27 12:48:37 AM

Degenz: Fail tag must be for abcnews.go.com for posting a video (that starts automatically at full volume, of course) about a totally different robbery.


WORD.
 
2011-12-27 12:52:14 AM
huhh

i wrote this??

been high all day lol probly why
 
2011-12-27 01:45:49 AM
"Police said four young friends from Pittsburgh's Elliott area posed for a camera, holding fistfuls of stolen cash, candy and cigarettes..."

Gangsta!
 
2011-12-27 01:52:34 AM
a.abcnews.com


Just another Obama supporter.
Next stop, Mall of America
 
2011-12-27 01:58:59 AM
The younger suspects have been charged in juvenile court and been released to their parents.


Don't you mean parent.
 
2011-12-27 02:02:36 AM

EnderX: The younger suspects have been charged in juvenile court and been released to their parents.


Don't you mean parent.


They mean grandmother.

/she's in her early forties...
 
2011-12-27 02:06:33 AM

Trance354: and yes, how does one turn the big, new, idiot buttons off? That whole "You'll get over it" from Jeff(and the ensuing apology) isn't going to fly this time.


I like them.
 
2011-12-27 02:35:32 AM

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


I feel you.
 
2011-12-27 03:19:54 AM

bojon: How do I get back to FARK Classic?


Go back in time about 10 years or so?
 
2011-12-27 03:21:37 AM

brianbankerus: Trance354: and yes, how does one turn the big, new, idiot buttons off? That whole "You'll get over it" from Jeff(and the ensuing apology) isn't going to fly this time.

I like them.


Funny?
 
2011-12-27 05:13:40 AM

Driver: FuryOfFirestorm: But how else was he going to afford a pair of new Nike Air Jordans - get a job?



Perhaps photoshopping is the way to go for those shoes...
[cdn-www.i-am-bored.com image 500x667]
hot (the pic, not the shoes...)


That cannot be real.

Please tell me that's not real.
 
2011-12-27 07:22:29 AM

Dialectic: Altitude5280


Book'em Dano.

/No one under 30 will get that.

You are correct; I am 41 and I love the old 5-0; not the laughable chickenshiat repeat.


In the new version, they only play the theme song through once. It's the best TV theme song in the history of ever. Do the key change, for Pete's sake.
 
2011-12-27 08:15:07 AM

ThighsofGlory: Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


PocketNinja: one of the best and worst things to happen to Fark.
 
2011-12-27 08:21:14 AM

DanInKansas: ThighsofGlory: Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


PocketNinja: one of the best and worst things to happen to Fark.


Mike needs to get his own schtick.
 
2011-12-27 09:01:42 AM

Helen_Arigby: And this, Mr. LowELL, is why you're the only troll I have favourited in green instead of red.


I've still got him highlighted in red just like all the other trolls, but it's good to know that other people here highlight trolls in red instead of ignoring them.
 
2011-12-27 09:36:32 AM

h3cubus: [www.cwporter.com image 383x437]


eatourbrains.com
EVIL!
 
2011-12-27 10:55:28 AM
Too bad these guys didn't try to rob a Kroger store.
 
2011-12-27 12:24:18 PM
When I was in middle school, we had a teacher who had been born and raised in Soviet Armenia. One of his favorite phrases was, "If you were my son, I would beat you." I think that applies in this case.
 
2011-12-27 12:31:35 PM

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


You sir are a gentleman and a scholar.
 
2011-12-27 04:41:10 PM

Dialectic: not the laughable chickenshiat repeat.


The new one does have Grace Park, so it's got that going for it.

www.plunderguide.com


/like the fist of an angry god
 
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