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(ABC)   18-year-old's Facebook status: "Yo dawg, just robbed a store in Pittsburgh. Here's a picture of them loot." *The Pittsburgh Police Department and 4 others like this.*   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 135
    More: Fail  
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26266 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2011 at 8:06 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



135 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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Archived thread
 
2011-12-26 08:00:55 PM  
Cellmate: "Poke"
 
2011-12-26 08:03:15 PM  
Big Bubba Has Sent You A Rape [+Accept/+Accept Anyway]
 
2011-12-26 08:07:57 PM  
Pennsylvania Penal System has sent you an invite in Prison Gang Wars.
 
2011-12-26 08:09:02 PM  
[ohsnap.jpg]
 
2011-12-26 08:09:29 PM  
Sometimes the low-hanging fruit just drops to the ground. Idiot.
 
2011-12-26 08:10:30 PM  
Them loot?
 
2011-12-26 08:12:44 PM  

Bondith: Them loot?


Hooked on Ebonics worked for me.
 
2011-12-26 08:13:35 PM  

I'm confused. He has money but doesn't have any shirts to wear. Maybe he'll explain it all on his Timeline.


Maybe the Winklevii can make some money by inventing Thugbook.com and attract all these lawbreakers to make thier Profiles there.

 
2011-12-26 08:15:35 PM  
Probably didn't even set post to Friends Only.
 
2011-12-26 08:15:37 PM  
cool dudes, just not real bright
 
2011-12-26 08:16:18 PM  
Hai! I ar dum! Hoppin u ar de sayme! Bee shur to Favrit my pix yo.
 
2011-12-26 08:16:22 PM  
um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did
 
2011-12-26 08:17:02 PM  
Is our children learning?
 
2011-12-26 08:17:11 PM  
E=mc^2
 
2011-12-26 08:19:37 PM  
Quote- Cellmate_"Poke"

It's Pennsylbama........
PA DOC guard_"Poke"
 
2011-12-26 08:19:49 PM  
And the great homogenization of Internet websites in the race to the bottom continues!
 
2011-12-26 08:20:12 PM  
was he black?
 
2011-12-26 08:20:31 PM  
A friend of mine's idiot teenaged son keeps posting his antics on Facebook. He can't figure out how he keeps getting caught.
 
2011-12-26 08:20:53 PM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


Time to stop drinking and typing. Or maybe that's "Idiiot and typing; I'm inventing the I&T tag for you.

I&T
 
2011-12-26 08:22:03 PM  
What's the point of robbing a store and then posting the evidence on the net for all to see? Raising "street cred" is just the same as adding more crimes to your criminal records. Maybe next time he robs a place, he'll go use the money to get some education.
 
2011-12-26 08:22:36 PM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did



I wouldn't dare to begin reading that.
 
2011-12-26 08:24:12 PM  

bmihura: Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did

Time to stop drinking and typing. Or maybe that's "Idiiot and typing; I'm inventing the I&T tag for you.

I&T


Whoosh!
 
2011-12-26 08:26:40 PM  
He sounds white...J
 
2011-12-26 08:29:42 PM  

some_beer_drinker: was he black?


And while we're on the subject of genetic traits...how tall is he? What's his eye color? These things are all relevant to the story.
 
2011-12-26 08:29:48 PM  
Fail tag must be for abcnews.go.com for posting a video (that starts automatically at full volume, of course) about a totally different robbery.
 
2011-12-26 08:30:10 PM  
His home looks like a gloryhole bathroom...
 
2011-12-26 08:30:50 PM  
yea ok u hit them with nowledge and they reply with "lol im a college student not readign anything that isnt in college speak" yeah this why america goin too hell all the smart people tellin the "dumb ppl" they're not allowed too have an opinion lol yea ok my opinion is gona be my fist in ur fac3 by the time im done with u
 
2011-12-26 08:30:59 PM  
Another example of how Facebook infringes on all of our privacy. Sadly, this fine upstanding young man has to pay the price for their greed.

/amidoingthisright?
 
2011-12-26 08:32:01 PM  
www.cwporter.com
 
2011-12-26 08:33:25 PM  
Mike_LowELL

You messed up at the end, should've gone with a DAT instead of THAT
 
2011-12-26 08:33:29 PM  

DerechoSCK: Another example of how Facebook infringes on all of our privacy. Sadly, this fine upstanding young man has to pay the price for their greed.

/amidoingthisright?


Eeeeh, needs 25% moar stoopid
 
2011-12-26 08:35:52 PM  

BarbadoSlim: DerechoSCK: Another example of how Facebook infringes on all of our privacy. Sadly, this fine upstanding young man has to pay the price for their greed.

/amidoingthisright?

Eeeeh, needs 25% moar stoopid


Damnit... I'll get it eventually.
 
2011-12-26 08:36:07 PM  
cdn1.staztic.com

/Sheeit!
 
wee
2011-12-26 08:36:35 PM  
Mulch white-boy gangsters.

Mulch them now.
 
2011-12-26 08:37:00 PM  

DeathByGeekSquad: You messed up at the end, should've gone with a DAT instead of THAT


nah it chill i here u thx for the corection ill try to fix my spelling more in the future
 
2011-12-26 08:37:59 PM  

Degenz: Fail tag must be for abcnews.go.com for posting a video (that starts automatically at full volume, of course) about a totally different robbery.


Yeah I was like wtf, they released the kids after they shot some poor guy? Then I realized it was a different robbery. God local media sucks ass.
 
2011-12-26 08:38:33 PM  
You think someone who is stupid enough to burglarize a business is going to conversely be smart enough not to brag about it? I expect shiat like this.
 
2011-12-26 08:39:13 PM  

Mike_LowELL: DeathByGeekSquad: You messed up at the end, should've gone with a DAT instead of THAT

nah it chill i here u thx for the corection ill try to fix my spelling more in the future mah spelun mor in da futur

 
2011-12-26 08:42:27 PM  
h3cubus: I love how the advanced aliens can't tell its from it's. Must be from a short planet.
 
2011-12-26 08:43:04 PM  
Dats a vayshun of my pry-vates, dawg!
 
2011-12-26 08:43:08 PM  
Book-learnin' is fo' suckas.
 
2011-12-26 08:45:30 PM  

h3cubus: [www.cwporter.com image 383x437]


You'll get a few with that, über troll
 
WD
2011-12-26 08:46:26 PM  
Crayon all over his walls. Stole candy. We've got a winner here.
 
2011-12-26 08:49:31 PM  

You'll get a few with that, über troll



I must admit, it caused me to Google CW Porter.

Now there's an interesting fellow. Holocaust denier. Quoted author on Stormfront. Just an all around gem.
 
2011-12-26 08:49:55 PM  
Facebook. Get out while you can.
 
2011-12-26 08:49:56 PM  
Aw jeez, where'd these crazy like-esque buttons just appear from?
 
2011-12-26 08:51:07 PM  

Bondith: Them loot?


These photos is mines, yo.

cache.gawker.com
 
2011-12-26 08:53:36 PM  

jingks: Aw jeez, where'd these crazy like-esque buttons just appear from?


Check six threads back.
 
2011-12-26 08:53:51 PM  
Something looks different on Fark...
 
2011-12-26 08:55:58 PM  
Not suprised at the "appearance" of these criminals. But no we can't say that...that would be racist..
 
2011-12-26 08:56:22 PM  

phrenicmonkey: A friend of mine's idiot teenaged son keeps posting his antics on Facebook. He can't figure out how he keeps getting caught.


Well don't tell him!

/WTF is with these huge ugly buttons in the headers?
 
2011-12-26 08:57:44 PM  
A mind is a terrible thing yo.
 
2011-12-26 08:58:47 PM  

Mike_LowELL: DeathByGeekSquad: You messed up at the end, should've gone with a DAT instead of THAT

nah it chill i here u thx for the corection ill try to fix my spelling more in the futurefewtour


Sry, pet peave.
 
2011-12-26 08:59:46 PM  

SDRR: /WTF is with these huge ugly buttons in the headers?


You'll get over it
 
2011-12-26 09:01:04 PM  
If the police were really smart they'd be trolling FB for drug related stuff.

I don't know how many morons put statuses up about when they're going to do or what they got for selling them. My personal favorites are the tagged pictures of people doing them....that they don't even bother to set to "private" to keep the general public from seeing them. Plus they'll friend just about anyone so even if it is private it won't be for long.

Then once you have names you can pull records of their cellphone activity and have the carrier save pertinent text messages on their server for you (http://www.divorce360.com/divorce-articles/cheating/catching/eager-to -check-those-texts.aspx?artid=1071)

Police figured out the whole chat room 14yr old girl thing, so I'm sure they'll get around to this eventually.
 
2011-12-26 09:02:27 PM  

SDRR: phrenicmonkey: A friend of mine's idiot teenaged son keeps posting his antics on Facebook. He can't figure out how he keeps getting caught.

Well don't tell him!

/WTF is with these huge ugly buttons in the headers?


Drew, I can't click [smart] or [funny] with posts like this.
Can I get a dumbass button?
 
2011-12-26 09:02:53 PM  
failfun.com
 
2011-12-26 09:03:03 PM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


Too many characters. The maximum number of characters for a status update is 450 characters. Your status update is 1250 characters. Would you like to post this as a note?
 
2011-12-26 09:03:12 PM  

SDRR: /WTF is with these huge ugly buttons in the headers?


Please?
 
2011-12-26 09:04:45 PM  

probesport: [failfun.com image 485x605]


We need a "What the f*ck?" button in the comment bar.
 
2011-12-26 09:05:08 PM  

SDRR: phrenicmonkey: A friend of mine's idiot teenaged son keeps posting his antics on Facebook. He can't figure out how he keeps getting caught.

Well don't tell him!

/WTF is with these huge ugly buttons in the headers?


I know. They're really distracting the right side of my vision, so when I'm reading my eye is always distracted. Why not just fill up the header bar with as many buttons as you can squeeze in? It's just ugly clutter.

blogs.walkerart.org
 
2011-12-26 09:05:43 PM  
FTFA:

An 18-year-old Pittsburgh man is accused of burglarizing a market with three teens, then posted pictures on his Facebook page showing the suspects mugging with some of the loot.

Isaiah Cutler who has been jailed since Friday in the Dec. 12 burglary. Online court records don't list an attorney for him.


Grammar fail.
 
2011-12-26 09:06:24 PM  

Mixolydian Master: I know. They're really distracting the right side of my vision, so when I'm reading my eye is always distracted. Why not just fill up the header bar with as many buttons as you can squeeze in? It's just ugly clutter.


You'll get over it.
 
2011-12-26 09:07:23 PM  

fusillade762: Bondith: Them loot?

These photos is mines, yo.

[cache.gawker.com image 400x436]


WOW! you gots like 5 bills dawg!
 
2011-12-26 09:07:44 PM  

Mixolydian Master: SDRR: phrenicmonkey: A friend of mine's idiot teenaged son keeps posting his antics on Facebook. He can't figure out how he keeps getting caught.

Well don't tell him!

/WTF is with these huge ugly buttons in the headers?

I know. They're really distracting the right side of my vision, so when I'm reading my eye is always distracted. Why not just fill up the header bar with as many buttons as you can squeeze in? It's just ugly clutter.

[blogs.walkerart.org image 480x360]


Sadly, I've had to fix (READ: Nuke and Pave) a system that looked pretty close to this
 
2011-12-26 09:08:01 PM  

AntiNorm: Mixolydian Master: I know. They're really distracting the right side of my vision, so when I'm reading my eye is always distracted. Why not just fill up the header bar with as many buttons as you can squeeze in? It's just ugly clutter.

You'll get over it.


Oh I know. It took me a few weeks when they changed the whole theme of fark, and liked the dark format much better. A white background is like staring at a lightbulb.
 
2011-12-26 09:15:52 PM  
.

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did



www.danielhumor.com
 
2011-12-26 09:17:57 PM  

vudukungfu: SDRR: phrenicmonkey: A friend of mine's idiot teenaged son keeps posting his antics on Facebook. He can't figure out how he keeps getting caught.

Well don't tell him!

/WTF is with these huge ugly buttons in the headers?

Drew, I can't click [smart] or [funny] with posts like this.
Can I get a dumbass button?


Yea! Put it right next to the fark you button!
 
2011-12-26 09:17:59 PM  
It begs the question; why do some many brethren of the nubian persuasion love to pose with stacks of money?
 
2011-12-26 09:18:58 PM  
 
2011-12-26 09:21:38 PM  

thenateman: [gawker.com image 599x654]
Reminds me of this thread from 1998.


Let's call that 2008.

/Stuck in the 90s
 
2011-12-26 09:23:39 PM  

SDRR: Yea! Put it right next to the fark you button!


You'll get over it.
n00bs
 
2011-12-26 09:26:29 PM  

Dialectic: It begs the question; why do some many brethren of the nubian persuasion love to pose with stacks of money?


You... do realize that he's not black, right? I mean, you know how I know you're racist?
 
2011-12-26 09:28:23 PM  

thenateman: [gawker.com image 599x654]
Reminds me of this thread from 1998.

If a popular website posts a link to your ridiculous Craigslist ad, it's probably not a good idea to call them up and leave a ranting phone message, as they will post that too (new window)


I swear to God that guy lived in my dorm freshman year.
 
2011-12-26 09:29:28 PM  

HotLonelyTeenageGirl: Dialectic: It begs the question; why do some many brethren of the nubian persuasion love to pose with stacks of money?

You... do realize that he's not black, right?


True, but you can tell he desperately wants to be.
 
2011-12-26 09:30:23 PM  

Book'em Dano.

/No one under 30 will get that.

 
2011-12-26 09:32:08 PM  
I think the 18-year-old "man" needs to be sent back to school. "Man" used in quotes to note that he's acting like a child, of course.

Mike Lowell needs to come out as the troll he is. Nicely done, though, getting so many bites. Your murder of grammar and syntax was almost enough to get me to believe, but it was much too long to be one of those hooligans; their average attention span beeing much shorter than the time it took to type that out. Much like the dog in UP, the average 18-year-old these days tends to move from topic to ... "Squirrel!"

/blatantly stolen from John Stewart
//you lay low with the cash, you don't flaunt it, or you go out the way of John Dillinger
 
2011-12-26 09:32:08 PM  
Facebook (new window), This seems to be him from the profile pic, but can't find "loot" pics
 
2011-12-26 09:32:24 PM  

Mixolydian Master: SDRR: phrenicmonkey: A friend of mine's idiot teenaged son keeps posting his antics on Facebook. He can't figure out how he keeps getting caught.

Well don't tell him!

/WTF is with these huge ugly buttons in the headers?

I know. They're really distracting the right side of my vision, so when I'm reading my eye is always distracted. Why not just fill up the header bar with as many buttons as you can squeeze in? It's just ugly clutter.

[blogs.walkerart.org image 480x360]



Hey, I'm not the only one to put the menu bar top screen.
 
2011-12-26 09:33:02 PM  
a.abcnews.com
Isaiah Cutler
 
2011-12-26 09:33:33 PM  

The Ghost of Tom Ace: Something looks different on Fark...


You'll get over it.


EyeBallStu: fusillade762: Bondith: Them loot?

These photos is mines, yo.

[cache.gawker.com image 400x436]

WOW! you gots like 5 bills dawg!


That's just how King Douchenozzle von Crunk rolls, yo. Knowumsayin'?
 
2011-12-26 09:33:40 PM  

Altitude5280: Book'em Dano./No one under 30 will get that.


1.bp.blogspot.com

Approves
 
2011-12-26 09:34:15 PM  
and yes, how does one turn the big, new, idiot buttons off? That whole "You'll get over it" from Jeff(and the ensuing apology) isn't going to fly this time.
 
2011-12-26 09:34:51 PM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


Call of Duty MW3 is totally harder than Battlefield 3. I'm with you.
 
2011-12-26 09:36:10 PM  

bukketmaster: HotLonelyTeenageGirl: Dialectic: It begs the question; why do some many brethren of the nubian persuasion love to pose with stacks of money?

You... do realize that he's not black, right?

True, but you can tell he desperately wants to be.


Uh, I dunno. Maybe it's just that I live in Texas, but he looks to me like he wants to be ms-13. It's ok though, he's about to get started on his prison tats real soon
 
2011-12-26 09:40:30 PM  
d37nnnqwv9amwr.cloudfront.net

/hot like stolen candy and cigarettes
 
2011-12-26 09:46:12 PM  

HotLonelyTeenageGirl: You... do realize that he's not black, right?


While I agree the assumption that he is black is racist, the guy in the photo (Isaiah Cutler) looks like he could be black, doesn't he?
 
2011-12-26 09:47:11 PM  
Altitude5280


Book'em Dano.

/No one under 30 will get that.


You are correct; I am 41 and I love the old 5-0; not the laughable chickenshiat repeat.
 
2011-12-26 09:51:53 PM  
 
2011-12-26 09:52:18 PM  

Mixolydian Master: SDRR: phrenicmonkey: A friend of mine's idiot teenaged son keeps posting his antics on Facebook. He can't figure out how he keeps getting caught.

Well don't tell him!

/WTF is with these huge ugly buttons in the headers?

I know. They're really distracting the right side of my vision, so when I'm reading my eye is always distracted. Why not just fill up the header bar with as many buttons as you can squeeze in? It's just ugly clutter.

[blogs.walkerart.org image 480x360]


Sadly, my best friend wife's computer looked almost that bad...
 
2011-12-26 09:59:46 PM  

Brother Head: Mixolydian Master: SDRR: phrenicmonkey: A friend of mine's idiot teenaged son keeps posting his antics on Facebook. He can't figure out how he keeps getting caught.

Well don't tell him!

/WTF is with these huge ugly buttons in the headers?

I know. They're really distracting the right side of my vision, so when I'm reading my eye is always distracted. Why not just fill up the header bar with as many buttons as you can squeeze in? It's just ugly clutter.

[blogs.walkerart.org image 480x360]

Sadly, my best friend wife's computer looked almost that bad...


Probably wondered why it was slow too
 
2011-12-26 10:02:13 PM  
Those photos is mines, yo. You post to axe permission, nah'meen. I'm a producer and I dos what I do, ya know.
 
2011-12-26 10:07:21 PM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


This is why you're green. This is almost Pocket Ninja quality.
 
2011-12-26 10:12:41 PM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


PURE FARKIN GOLD!
KEWL STORY BRO!


Welcome to my favorites list Mike "Mad Dogg" Lowell!
 
2011-12-26 10:45:47 PM  
Autoplaying videos with loud volume need to DIAF.

Oh, and the people involved are dipshiats. 'Nuff said.
 
2011-12-26 10:52:21 PM  
You might think Pittsburgh is a "city", but it really is just a cluster of far north west virginians.
 
2011-12-26 10:52:26 PM  
Was just watching a former DA laugh about how stupid criminals are by commenting that
"can you imagine how hard we'd have to work if they were smart?"

Criminal Darwinism is what it's called I think . . .
 
2011-12-26 11:03:30 PM  
NOPE, You're not allowed to profile them.... Even though it's becoming a cut and paste description
 
2011-12-26 11:07:00 PM  
Judging by the photo of his room alone, this kid never had a chance.
 
2011-12-26 11:10:08 PM  
Hahahahahahah..(pause to breathe) hahahahahaha

Loving Facebook more and more.

+1 for the title
 
2011-12-26 11:11:01 PM  

thenateman: [gawker.com image 599x654]
Reminds me of this thread from 1998.

If a popular website posts a link to your ridiculous Craigslist ad, it's probably not a good idea to call them up and leave a ranting phone message, as they will post that too (new window)


Dudes got a window unit
 
2011-12-26 11:18:16 PM  

DerechoSCK: Another example of how Facebook infringes on all of our privacy. Sadly, this fine upstanding young man has to pay the price for their greed.

/amidoingthisright?


You ALMOST had that Freeper ring to it!
 
2011-12-26 11:18:47 PM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


Just got to use the Funny button for the first time.

Well played, sir.
 
2011-12-26 11:29:29 PM  
But how else was he going to afford a pair of new Nike Air Jordans - get a job?
 
2011-12-26 11:31:27 PM  
This wanna be gangsta has to be, or has to want to be black. Yep, the hair gives him away,,,*snickers*
 
2011-12-26 11:33:47 PM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


And this, Mr. LowELL, is why you're the only troll I have favourited in green instead of red.
 
2011-12-26 11:45:26 PM  

Trance354: I think the 18-year-old "man" needs to be sent back to school. "Man" used in quotes to note that he's acting like a child, of course.

Mike Lowell needs to come out as the troll he is. Nicely done, though, getting so many bites. Your murder of grammar and syntax was almost enough to get me to believe, but it was much too long to be one of those hooligans; their average attention span beeing much shorter than the time it took to type that out. Much like the dog in UP, the average 18-year-old these days tends to move from topic to ... "Squirrel!"

/blatantly stolen from John Stewart
//you lay low with the cash, you don't flaunt it, or you go out the way of John Dillinger


Of course he's trolling. That's why it's funny ffs!

Diaf!
 
2011-12-26 11:51:41 PM  

Degenz: Fail tag must be for abcnews.go.com for posting a video (that starts automatically at full volume, of course) about a totally different robbery.


THIS...
 
2011-12-26 11:55:35 PM  

probesport: [failfun.com image 485x605]


Uhh... is that a young Obama?
 
2011-12-26 11:58:53 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: But how else was he going to afford a pair of new Nike Air Jordans - get a job?




Perhaps photoshopping is the way to go for those shoes...
cdn-www.i-am-bored.com
hot (the pic, not the shoes...)
 
2011-12-27 12:15:32 AM  

thenateman: [gawker.com image 599x654]
Reminds me of this thread from 1998.

If a popular website posts a link to your ridiculous Craigslist ad, it's probably not a good idea to call them up and leave a ranting phone message, as they will post that too (new window)


Fark wasn't created until 1999.
/Those are all mistakes, Otto.
//I looked them up.
 
2011-12-27 12:27:23 AM  
How do I get back to FARK Classic?
 
2011-12-27 12:29:53 AM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


You sound black.
 
2011-12-27 12:35:12 AM  

Poowaddins: Autoplaying videos with loud volume need to DIAF.

Oh, and the people involved are dipshiats. 'Nuff said.


That shiat would wake the whole farking house up, it ought to have an NSF warning in the farking headline.
 
2011-12-27 12:47:16 AM  

GoldenEggs: NOPE, You're not allowed to profile them...


Who's "them?"
 
2011-12-27 12:48:37 AM  

Degenz: Fail tag must be for abcnews.go.com for posting a video (that starts automatically at full volume, of course) about a totally different robbery.


WORD.
 
2011-12-27 12:52:14 AM  
huhh

i wrote this??

been high all day lol probly why
 
2011-12-27 01:45:49 AM  
"Police said four young friends from Pittsburgh's Elliott area posed for a camera, holding fistfuls of stolen cash, candy and cigarettes..."

Gangsta!
 
2011-12-27 01:52:34 AM  
a.abcnews.com


Just another Obama supporter.
Next stop, Mall of America
 
2011-12-27 01:58:59 AM  
The younger suspects have been charged in juvenile court and been released to their parents.


Don't you mean parent.
 
2011-12-27 02:02:36 AM  

EnderX: The younger suspects have been charged in juvenile court and been released to their parents.


Don't you mean parent.


They mean grandmother.

/she's in her early forties...
 
2011-12-27 02:06:33 AM  

Trance354: and yes, how does one turn the big, new, idiot buttons off? That whole "You'll get over it" from Jeff(and the ensuing apology) isn't going to fly this time.


I like them.
 
2011-12-27 02:35:32 AM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


I feel you.
 
2011-12-27 03:19:54 AM  

bojon: How do I get back to FARK Classic?


Go back in time about 10 years or so?
 
2011-12-27 03:21:37 AM  

brianbankerus: Trance354: and yes, how does one turn the big, new, idiot buttons off? That whole "You'll get over it" from Jeff(and the ensuing apology) isn't going to fly this time.

I like them.


Funny?
 
2011-12-27 05:13:40 AM  

Driver: FuryOfFirestorm: But how else was he going to afford a pair of new Nike Air Jordans - get a job?



Perhaps photoshopping is the way to go for those shoes...
[cdn-www.i-am-bored.com image 500x667]
hot (the pic, not the shoes...)


That cannot be real.

Please tell me that's not real.
 
2011-12-27 07:22:29 AM  

Dialectic: Altitude5280


Book'em Dano.

/No one under 30 will get that.

You are correct; I am 41 and I love the old 5-0; not the laughable chickenshiat repeat.


In the new version, they only play the theme song through once. It's the best TV theme song in the history of ever. Do the key change, for Pete's sake.
 
2011-12-27 08:15:07 AM  

ThighsofGlory: Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


PocketNinja: one of the best and worst things to happen to Fark.
 
2011-12-27 08:21:14 AM  

DanInKansas: ThighsofGlory: Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


PocketNinja: one of the best and worst things to happen to Fark.


Mike needs to get his own schtick.
 
2011-12-27 09:01:42 AM  

Helen_Arigby: And this, Mr. LowELL, is why you're the only troll I have favourited in green instead of red.


I've still got him highlighted in red just like all the other trolls, but it's good to know that other people here highlight trolls in red instead of ignoring them.
 
2011-12-27 09:36:32 AM  

h3cubus: [www.cwporter.com image 383x437]


eatourbrains.com
EVIL!
 
2011-12-27 10:55:28 AM  
Too bad these guys didn't try to rob a Kroger store.
 
2011-12-27 12:24:18 PM  
When I was in middle school, we had a teacher who had been born and raised in Soviet Armenia. One of his favorite phrases was, "If you were my son, I would beat you." I think that applies in this case.
 
2011-12-27 12:31:35 PM  

Mike_LowELL: um ok u all just hater's cus u never robb3d a store in ur lief like i did back on march 13 in hampton city vermont it was crazy stuff yall they wus liek "welcome to hampton city bank" and i was liek "WELCOME TO THE BARREL OF MY GUN biatch" and so the cop's come out and they firin liek crazy y'all I MEAN MAD METAL GOIN LEFT AND RIGHT but im liek "nah it cool mike lowell got this" and i make call of duty look like battlefield 3 if u no wut im sayin LOL but anyway so every1 dead now and im in my cadilac (well granny oldhag's cadilac i stole it LOL) and the cops are liek "THIS IS THE POLICE MIKE LOWELL WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" and so i respond WITH A ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE TOO THE HELICOPTER ABOVE ME and that thing spin down faster then katie holmes' career LOL so anyway i got 12 million buck's or maybe 13 i couldn't count all of it so i gave some too my girlfriend for child support payment's which is dumb okay so i lied said the kid wasn't mine WHO'S RIGHT IS IT TOO MAKE ME PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT...whatever this is dumb man and so is this guy for posting about his crime's on the internet lol u deserfe too go to jail if you talk about all the money u stole from a store liek that one time i did


You sir are a gentleman and a scholar.
 
2011-12-27 04:41:10 PM  

Dialectic: not the laughable chickenshiat repeat.


The new one does have Grace Park, so it's got that going for it.

www.plunderguide.com


/like the fist of an angry god
 
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