What WWE "Creative" might say:

What's that? Ratings are staying level with CM Punk as champion?!?

It must be his fault! It can't be that we brought him back too early, ruined the buzz that had began around him, took the belt off of him, then put it on someone that the fans give less than two shiats about, then made him look bad by pairing him with a 52 year old with a quad that blows when he thinks hard and the heat sucker who just happens to run the booking committee now and has an ego almost as big as Vince's!

And why aren't people staying tuned in for Johnny Ace, and yet another segment where Michael Cole insults our most beloved announcer, Jim Ross, or where Michael Cole and Jim Ross have a rap-off? WE'RE WRITING GOLD! IT'S THIS TYPE OF STUFF THAT MADE US GREAT SOAP OPERA WRITERS (until ratings fell so low on our watch that all the soaps were cance;ed and we were able to sucker Vince McMahon into hiring us...)

/fire the writers, get Dusty, PS Hayes, Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko, and maybe Triple Gagne to be the booking committee, and let the wrestlers go back to crafting their own promos. Then maybe, just maybe, things will get better.

There is no possible way that Punk doesn't job in his hometown.

Fark sporting event thread headline template:

"[question]? [another question]? [a third question]? It's your [show or sporting event] thread, [time] on [network]"

Shostie: Fark sporting event thread headline template:

"[question]? [another question]? [a third question]? It's your [show or sporting event] thread, [time] on [network]"

not "your".

NEVER "your".

And no stupid random capitalizations, either!

ultraholland: I'm just wondering if Undertaker is going to remain undefeated at Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Of course not...

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GAME!

Oh, and I'm looking forward to JfSP's take on the Cena no-sells his roofer story.

/How can you rise above hate without a structurally sound roof?!

WELCOME TO RAW.IS.DOUGIE!

That's right, you all love me.

Dougie AXP: WELCOME TO RAW.IS.DOUGIE!

That's right, you all love me.

Sorry, much like Zack Ryder, you've gone mainstream and made it to TV, so we can no longer like you.

FirstNationalBastard: Dougie AXP: WELCOME TO RAW.IS.DOUGIE!

That's right, you all love me.

Sorry, much like Zack Ryder, you've gone mainstream and made it to TV, so we can no longer like you.

Punk in Chicago...so glorious, too bad it's up against Saints/Falcons, the division crown in the balance, Breesus trying to break Marino's record against the hated rivals. I'll try to keep my eye on it.

robsul82: [i63.photobucket.com image 600x374]

Punk in Chicago...so glorious, too bad it's up against Saints/Falcons, the division crown in the balance, Breesus trying to break Marino's record against the hated rivals. I'll try to keep my eye on it.

What?

An important, interesting football game on at the same time as RAW, that just might take viewers away from WWE?

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I, AND WEE CREATIVE IS HEARING ABOUT SUCH A THING! WHY HASN'T ANYONE EVER MENTIONED THIS BEFORE?!?!?

FirstNationalBastard: What?

An important, interesting football game on at the same time as RAW, that just might take viewers away from WWE?

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I, AND WEE CREATIVE IS HEARING ABOUT SUCH A THING! WHY HASN'T ANYONE EVER MENTIONED THIS BEFORE?!?!?

We went with those Internet nerds last week and look at the ratings! That "football" or whatever you call it has nothing to do with it!

robsul82: FirstNationalBastard: What?

An important, interesting football game on at the same time as RAW, that just might take viewers away from WWE?

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I, AND WEE CREATIVE IS HEARING ABOUT SUCH A THING! WHY HASN'T ANYONE EVER MENTIONED THIS BEFORE?!?!?

We went with those Internet nerds last week and look at the ratings! That "football" or whatever you call it has nothing to do with it!

Between the two of us, we've just re-enacted exactly what goes on behind the scenes at WWE.

LucklessWonder: Been out of contact with internet wrestling unreality, what's the Cena roofer thing?

Read the link in the headline. It will answer your question.

Jonny Chimpo: TheManofPA: By the way, did anything get noted about Cena's personal issues? Hadn't heard a final word. Also, the word is that Punk has been the one pushing forward with Ryder's push.

I love that report, especially since kayfabe on TV was it is John Cena behind it.

No kidding. All that lip service on his Twitter and somehow he didn't have the stroke to pull it off while Punk does? Come on, man.

/shiat like that only makes you look desperate, Johnny

Pizilla: FirstNationalBastard: Dougie AXP: WELCOME TO RAW.IS.DOUGIE!

That's right, you all love me.

Sorry, much like Zack Ryder, you've gone mainstream and made it to TV, so we can no longer like you.

Yeah, piss off!

WILL THE KANEDERTAKER STEAL JOHN CENA'S JORTS THIS WEEK?

WHO IS 2012??

A. Jericho?
B. Undertaker?
C. Glacier 2.0?

Get your bets in NOW!!

BlackJack and Hookers spokesperson is on the road to Wrestlemania work at the titty bar. 1 bus down, 2 to go.

Go fark yourself.

My Broskis will never abandon me....

Broski-Pac represent!

LucklessWonder: HeartBurnKid: Albert of the River is gone for 4-6 weeks with a groin pull. And as much as I actually enjoy his work and hate to see anybody hurt, I'm glad to see him out of the title picture for the time being. Punk needs to move on to a new opponent.

Who though? Miz?

Kane, so Kane can get the belt and drop it to Cena, so Cena can face The Rock for the belt at Wrestlemania in a meaningless match we all know Cena's going to win anyway.

LucklessWonder: HeartBurnKid: Albert of the River is gone for 4-6 weeks with a groin pull. And as much as I actually enjoy his work and hate to see anybody hurt, I'm glad to see him out of the title picture for the time being. Punk needs to move on to a new opponent.

Who though? Miz?

At least they've been laying track for a Punk-Miz feud in the past few weeks, with Punk calling out Miz for his fake tough guy poses and increasingly generic promos.