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(Cracked)   Yo dawg, we herd you liek two-page Cracked lists, so we   (cracked.com) divider line 42
    More: Obvious, Doogie Howser, relationship counseling, Alice in Chains, Donald Duck, Generation X, Pearl Jam, sexual revolution  
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20341 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2011 at 10:28 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-12-26 10:35:14 AM  
I don't click Cracked articles.
 
2011-12-26 10:36:58 AM  
Don't make wait for it..
 
2011-12-26 10:42:13 AM  
That headline gives me a headache.
 
2011-12-26 10:51:15 AM  
Ewe herd wrong, subs.
 
2011-12-26 10:57:02 AM  
My enjoyment of Cracked articles skyrocketed when I learned to stick to the comedy and popular culture ones, and avoid the science/politics/history/advice articles that inevitably result in a little voice in my head screaming "But that's wrong, you frickin' dumbasses! I should totally write an exhaustively detailed comment explaining why!".

It's a fun timewaster of a site and several of their writers are gifted comedians (Seanbaby particularly) but goddamn; either they need a fact-checker or I need to stop being so pedantic.
 
2011-12-26 11:09:01 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

What Cracked.com looked like before the internet.
 
2011-12-26 11:29:54 AM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: I don't click Cracked articles.



Until Cracked (and Yahoo and Forbes and MSN) can put their articles on one page I've stopped clicking on them as well. Are the articles so weak that they need to artificially increase the number of viewers?
 
2011-12-26 11:35:28 AM  
#14 should be much, MUCH higher. It's the daily life of half the Fark community.
 
2011-12-26 11:36:39 AM  

coffee smells good: Britney Spear's Speculum: I don't click Cracked articles.


Until Cracked (and Yahoo and Forbes and MSN) can put their articles on one page I've stopped clicking on them as well. Are the articles so weak that they need to artificially increase the number of viewers?


Yes, the articles are weak (see the one sentence Yahoo article linked down-page.) And yes, it's about the number of clicks, no matter how generated.
 
2011-12-26 11:40:15 AM  

coffee smells good: Britney Spear's Speculum: I don't click Cracked articles.


Until Cracked (and Yahoo and Forbes and MSN) can put their articles on one page I've stopped clicking on them as well. Are the articles so weak that they need to artificially increase the number of viewers?


Yes, two whole pages is such an ordeal that it must not be tolerated, and is clearly a sign that a site is a complete failure.

But you will come and increase the comment count on such links, and thereby encourage Fark to post more of them.

i43.tinypic.com
 
2011-12-26 11:43:51 AM  

patent holder: And yes, it's about the number of clicks, no matter how generated.


Yes, but if an article is crap, people are much less likely to click on succeeding pages, so it doesn't really work to shore up revenue in the face of bad content. I don't mind two or three pages for a good article; but if it's not good, I don't go past the first page and they don't get any more revenue than they would have by having the article on a single page. The number of pages I will tolerate is directly correlated with the article's entertainment value.
 
2011-12-26 11:49:50 AM  
The one on Modern Myths.

People made $1/hour at low end stuff.
A house was $11.5k.
A car was $500.
Gas was $.25 / gallon.
Bread was under $.15.

The minimum wage now is $7.25.
So a house should cost $83k.
A family car $3625.
Gas $1.8125 a gallon and
bread $1.09 .
 
2011-12-26 11:51:25 AM  

coffee smells good: Britney Spear's Speculum: I don't click Cracked articles.


Until Cracked (and Yahoo and Forbes and MSN) can put their articles on one page I've stopped clicking on them as well. Are the articles so weak that they need to artificially increase the number of viewers?


Did I miss a memo? is it whinny Monday?

/Hate the multipage articles as well, but somehow through the torture of having to click an additional time or two have survived so far with my index finger intact.
// Is "get a life" still an acceptable phrase in this context? (adjusts onion on belt)
 
2011-12-26 11:57:34 AM  

darkscout: The one on Modern Myths.


Finding stupid shiat in a Cracked article is like dynamite fishing in an aquarium. Success isn't really that impressive.
 
2011-12-26 12:13:34 PM  
With the majority of multipage articles I encounter, I just choose to "print" and read a one page article after canceling the print job.
 
2011-12-26 12:27:28 PM  

Ms.Maus: With the majority of multipage articles I encounter, I just choose to "print" and read a one page article after canceling the print job.


People need to learn users hate paginated articles, the rare exception being a slow internet connection (which really shouldn't matter for your text article)
 
2011-12-26 12:31:07 PM  

Ms.Maus: With the majority of multipage articles I encounter, I just choose to "print" and read a one page article after canceling the print job.


My computer responds: "hit cancel all you want biatch. I'm printing this whole thing."
 
2011-12-26 12:36:26 PM  
I get that people are annoyed with Cracked and their page-hit scheme, but otherwise I rather like many of their pieces. They're at least more hit than miss. And anyone that gives Seanbaby a job is fine by me.
 
2011-12-26 12:38:38 PM  
I'm ashamed to admit that the "Ways We Ruined Occupy Wall Street" caught my eye.
"Lesson 12: When you have brown people over, always smile. They can sense your fear."

I wonder if they are talking about the current crop of Republican candidates specifically there.
 
2011-12-26 12:51:20 PM  

degenerate-afro: I'm ashamed to admit that the "Ways We Ruined Occupy Wall Street" caught my eye.
"Lesson 12: When you have brown people over, always smile. They can sense your fear."

I wonder if they are talking about the current crop of Republican candidates specifically there.


Herman Cain was leading the polls until he run out of the race for being Bill Clinton (without the rape allegation.)
 
2011-12-26 12:55:33 PM  
Submitter must have heard that I like typos in my headlines.
 
2011-12-26 01:00:00 PM  
I don't get the hate for Cracked articles. Obviously they're not historical fact but they're not supposed to be. Their supposed to be surprising and funny. Plus Soren Bowen is a genious and wrote this amazing article Link (new window)
 
2011-12-26 01:08:26 PM  
Interesting - a two-page Cracked "list" article where all the items are links to other two-page Cracked "list" articles.
 
2011-12-26 01:10:48 PM  

coffee smells good: degenerate-afro: I'm ashamed to admit that the "Ways We Ruined Occupy Wall Street" caught my eye.
"Lesson 12: When you have brown people over, always smile. They can sense your fear."

I wonder if they are talking about the current crop of Republican candidates specifically there.

Herman Cain was leading the polls until he run out of the race for being Bill Clinton (without the rape allegation.)


Did you see how Michele Bachmann smiled whenever Herman Cain was around her? But you're right, I don't believe Huntsman or Romney are like that.
 
2011-12-26 01:21:35 PM  
#14. 6 Reasons The Guy Who's Fixing Your Computer Hates You

PEBKAC
 
2011-12-26 01:25:16 PM  

degenerate-afro: I'm ashamed to admit that the "Ways We Ruined Occupy Wall Street" caught my eye.
"Lesson 12: When you have brown people over, always smile. They can sense your fear."

I wonder if they are talking about the current crop of Republican candidates specifically there.


Personally, I like the intro, "This is not a sarcastic apology, I'm not a big enough dick to write all of this as a backhanded insult about how lazy and entitled you are.", then goes on to do exactly that.

At any rate, Cracked has some good stuff, but they're a content aggregator that pays their writers like shiat. Anybody who's looking to become a writer, this is your future: writing lists for comedy websites for a penny a line.
 
2011-12-26 01:32:19 PM  
...accidentally the whole thing?
 
2011-12-26 02:05:52 PM  

ChuckyV: [upload.wikimedia.org image 321x562]

What Cracked.com looked like before the internet.


What it actually looked like before the internet:

s11.lucyphotos.com

Like Mad Magazine, but not as good.
 
2011-12-26 02:14:39 PM  
some of those articles linked are just plain retarded

// the others are .... nothing plain
 
2011-12-26 02:17:14 PM  

obamartins: I don't get the hate for Cracked articles. Obviously they're not historical fact but they're not supposed to be. Their supposed to be surprising and funny. Plus Soren Bowen is a genious and wrote this amazing article Link (new window)


Holy crap, I went to high school with the dude in the stock photo of the distant couple drinking wine in the section on the Spectacled Langur! Seriously, I knew he had done some modeling but I never expected to see him on Cracked. I am so bringing this to the gang.

That article is frigging great, btw. Thanks for linking.
 
2011-12-26 02:26:28 PM  
not so suer I liek it. ok, i didt'n cilck teh lnik.
 
2011-12-26 02:39:52 PM  

ilgallo: not so suer I liek it. ok, i didt'n cilck teh lnik.


Which reminds me, what the heck does icanhascheezburger talk have to do with Cracked?
 
2011-12-26 03:17:50 PM  

Thorndyke Barnhard: ilgallo: not so suer I liek it. ok, i didt'n cilck teh lnik.

Which reminds me, what the heck does icanhascheezburger talk have to do with Cracked?


Or the non-politics sections of Fark, for that matter.
 
2011-12-26 03:23:19 PM  

buckler: ChuckyV: [upload.wikimedia.org image 321x562]

What Cracked.com looked like before the internet.

What it actually looked like before the internet:

[s11.lucyphotos.com image 305x400]

Like Mad Magazine, but not as good.


It always felt wrong to see Don Martin in Cracked instead of Mad.
 
2011-12-26 03:41:55 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: buckler: ChuckyV: [upload.wikimedia.org image 321x562]

What Cracked.com looked like before the internet.

What it actually looked like before the internet:

[s11.lucyphotos.com image 305x400]

Like Mad Magazine, but not as good.

It always felt wrong to see Don Martin in Cracked instead of Mad.


I bought both Mad and Cracked as a kid in the 70's, but must have missed Don Martin working for Cracked. He was one of Mad's signature artists, for God's sake.
 
2011-12-26 03:52:51 PM  
I was intrigued by the notion of things invented by Donald Duck, so I clicked that article. One of the items is about his method for raising sunken ships. I think. In the first panel of the cartoon cited as evidence, Donald says "Ram those balls down the hose (sic), boys! Ram 'em down the hose (sic)!"
 
2011-12-26 04:52:25 PM  

iStig: Thorndyke Barnhard: ilgallo: not so suer I liek it. ok, i didt'n cilck teh lnik.

Which reminds me, what the heck does icanhascheezburger talk have to do with Cracked?

Or the non-politics sections of Fark, for that matter.


Har har! The politics tab, despite the little posse of trolls, is what keeps this site alive, man.
 
2011-12-26 11:34:54 PM  

buckler: I bought both Mad and Cracked as a kid in the 70's, but must have missed Don Martin working for Cracked. He was one of Mad's signature artists, for God's sake.


Happened in the late '80s due to an argument over whether he was due royalties when they reprinted his older works in new collections. He moved to Cracked as a way of giving the finger to Mad.
 
2011-12-26 11:52:43 PM  

Sum Dum Gai: buckler: I bought both Mad and Cracked as a kid in the 70's, but must have missed Don Martin working for Cracked. He was one of Mad's signature artists, for God's sake.

Happened in the late '80s due to an argument over whether he was due royalties when they reprinted his older works in new collections. He moved to Cracked as a way of giving the finger to Mad.


Wow. I never knew that. Thanks!
 
2011-12-27 01:42:11 AM  
The likelihood of my clicking a Cracked link is directly proportional to the number of Farkers who say they don't like Cracked. This thread made we wander through the site for a good hour. I even re-read articles that you lot hated on when they were first greenlit.

It's funny, most 4chan denizens won't admit to being pedophile hacker wannabes. Farkers won't admit they're made up largely of closet hipsters.
 
2011-12-27 01:50:20 AM  
Let's see: my ring fingers are noticeably longer than my pointer fingers, my hair swirls anticlockwise and I'm ambidextrous, therefore according to the Intimate Details article, I'm a lesbian. I'll make sure to tell my husband that.

Aaaand I just wasted a good chunk of the day.
 
2011-12-27 02:43:47 PM  

coffee smells good: Britney Spear's Speculum: I don't click Cracked articles.


Until Cracked (and Yahoo and Forbes and MSN) can put their articles on one page I've stopped clicking on them as well. Are the articles so weak that they need to artificially increase the number of viewers?


LOL whiteboy problems. Oh noes! I had to click my mouse once! Your one man boycott will certainly teach them a lesson.
 
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